From Survival to Self-Love: Healing, Boundaries & Identity with Stef Vachon episode artwork

EPISODE · Jun 3, 2026 · 35 MIN

From Survival to Self-Love: Healing, Boundaries & Identity with Stef Vachon

from Ghosted, Gagged and Gay! · host Lonay

What does it actually look like to move from survival mode to self-love as a queer man, especially after years of homophobia, bullying, and pressure to “be a certain kind of man”?In this episode of Ghosted, Gagged, and Gay, I sit down with Stef Vachon, proud queer man, husband, father, keynote speaker, former international professional figure skater, and host of the Together Moving Forward podcast, for a grounded conversation about healing, identity, and the relationship patterns many queer men normalize without realizing the cost.We talk about:What “survival mode” can look like in queer life and relationshipsCommon patterns that keep queer men stuck (emotional shutdown, chasing unavailable people, fear of vulnerability)How masculinity rules and shame shape self-worth and connectionThe real work of building self-love, practices that help you feel safer in your body and in intimacyOne sign you’re healing (Do I need The Pill?)Why setting boundaries can feel terrifying and how to handle people’s reactions when you finally stop over-explaining, over-giving, or shrinkingIf you’ve been telling yourself you’re “fine” but your nervous system says otherwise, this episode is your reminder: healing is possible, boundaries are allowed, and you don’t have to earn love by abandoning yourself.Connect with Stef: Podcast: https://togethermovingforwardpodcast.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/togethermovingforwardpodcastTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@togethermovingforwardIf you would like to be on the show or book a free clarity call with me, all links are here: https://linktr.ee/radiantheartsjourney

What does it actually look like to move from survival mode to self-love as a queer man, especially after years of homophobia, bullying, and pressure to “be a certain kind of man”?In this episode of Ghosted, Gagged, and Gay, I sit down with Stef Vachon, proud queer man, husband, father, keynote speaker, former international professional figure skater, and host of the Together Moving Forward podcast, for a grounded conversation about healing, identity, and the relationship patterns many queer men normalize without realizing the cost.We talk about:What “survival mode” can look like in queer life and relationshipsCommon patterns that keep queer men stuck (emotional shutdown, chasing unavailable people, fear of vulnerability)How masculinity rules and shame shape self-worth and connectionThe real work of building self-love, practices that help you feel safer in your body and in intimacyOne sign you’re healing (Do I need The Pill?)Why setting boundaries can feel terrifying and how to handle people’s reactions when you finally stop over-explaining, over-giving, or shrinkingIf you’ve been telling yourself you’re “fine” but your nervous system says otherwise, this episode is your reminder: healing is possible, boundaries are allowed, and you don’t have to earn love by abandoning yourself.Connect with Stef: Podcast: https://togethermovingforwardpodcast.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/togethermovingforwardpodcastTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@togethermovingforwardIf you would like to be on the show or book a free clarity call with me, all links are here: https://linktr.ee/radiantheartsjourney

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From Survival to Self-Love: Healing, Boundaries & Identity with Stef Vachon

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This episode was published on June 3, 2026.

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What does it actually look like to move from survival mode to self-love as a queer man, especially after years of homophobia, bullying, and pressure to “be a certain kind of man”?In this episode of Ghosted, Gagged, and Gay, I sit down with Stef...

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