Gaslighting, Narcissism & the People Who Use Both | Ep. 6

James pulled the actual definitions this time. (Bethanie says "Go to the Google" — he used AI instead.) Episode 6 is the conversation they've been promising since Episode 5: gaslighting and narcissism, why those two go hand in hand, and what it looks like when you've lived through it. Bethanie's entire last relationship was a master class — a narcissist who was also an alcoholic, with all the "I never said that" and conveniently forgotten events that come with the package. She opens up about the cycle of apologizing at the end of every fight even when she had a real concern, and the years of self-help books that came after. James talks about his own drinking history — a sip of his dad's beer at 10, a half-gallon of Everclear at 14, and the friend's mom who busted them with the line "well, it is ever so clear to me…" He also breaks down the boundary lesson he learned from an old boss: every walk-in to your office that could've been a 30-second text or email is 10 minutes torn out of your day, and being polite doesn't mean being permanently available. There's a real conversation about teaching kids the difference between getting their way and being entitled, why a parent who's a narcissist passes it down, and how you set limits with a family member without nuking the relationship. Plus the "palm trees" code phrase James and Bethanie now use when one of them isn't ready to have the hard conversation yet. Not a clinical episode. Just two people who have been on the receiving end of this stuff naming it out loud.