Gifted: The Docuseries

Oh, and welcome to the Gifted Life Podcast, where we have conversations about organ tissue and eye donation and transplantation. You can always find us at thegiftedlife.org. Tell your friends. I'm Laurie Steele.

I'm Joey Boudreau. And I'm Nyla Schwab. Coming up on today's episode, we're diving into an inspirational new docuseries whose journeys from pain to purpose. And Laurie just shared, we're talking about stinking thinking.

I love that. I know. I know. It's cognitive distortions or unhelpful thinking.

So I understand stinking thinking. And more. Sticks with you. I know it.

Roll off your tongue, stinking thinking. That and more right here on The Gifted Life. Hang on. Hey guys, we are so excited to introduce you to our newest friends who are making quite the splash with a new docuseries that we hope you will check out.

It's focused on organ tissue and eye donation and honoring our heroes. Up first, Robert Horsey joins us. Hey, Robert. Hi there.

How are you? Good. Thanks for joining us. I know things are crazy and busy and you're doing such good things for organ tissue and eye donation in that world.

So thank you so much. Jody Miller is also joining us. Hey, Jody. Hi there.

So Jody, we know that you are the mom of a hero, Heather Miller. So we'll talk about Heather today and we certainly appreciate you joining us and sharing your story today. Thank you. So we're going on gifted.

So talk about the title and talk about what you're trying to do here and how it's being received. Yeah, thanks again for having us today. Well, gifted started out as a screenplay that I wrote about seven years ago. I was having a little difficulty getting that produced, raising money and such.

So I wanted to still wanted to get that story out until I novelized it and published the book gifted. It's a fictional story about a donor family as they go through their process. The purpose for the book was just to raise awareness and honor donor families for what they go through and the gifts that they provide complete strangers in a life saving manner. I wanted to do something more.

And so I thought I would do a documentary and then that quickly turned into a docu series when I realized just how many great stories there were out there to share and they're so inspiring. Yes. That's where the docu series came from. And it's all using the same title gifted.

I love it. So talk about so we have Jody Miller on the phone. Talk about how you guys met and how you said yes, we're going to move forward and this will be episode one. So just a little background.

I'm a mother of four married in March of 2008. My oldest daughter Heather was home for spring break from the WBCU School of Nursing. She had gone out with some friends that evening and we had the knock at our door that no parent ever wants about 1230 a.m. We thought she had changed her mind and decided to come home but it was two deputy sheriffs that are front door telling us that she had been in a car crash.

As the morning unfolded we had gone to the nearest hospital and the police had told us that it was a single vehicle, a row of a crash and she was a passenger. Alcohol was a factor with the driver and she had suffered a major head trauma. After all life saving efforts were exhausted and one week after the crash they had declared her brain dead she had failed all the brain death tests. So in March 31st in 2008 she was declared brain dead.

She was a registered organ donor. She was able to gift her heart both of her kidneys and her liver and she also donated tissue. So I was in a very, very dark place after that. How do you bury your child and move on?

I had received a letter from core about two months after her passing stating that her heart had gone to a 55 year old man. Her kidney went to a 35 year old woman and that was kind of the little glimpse of hope and light that I needed and I thought my daughter did something really great. So I need to honor her and what she had done. Our family couldn't let it rest.

So that very first August we created the first heteromillomillomillomillomillomillomillom and we also formed a 501c3 and our goal was to award at least one nursing scholarship to a local student in her memories and that was her passion. This last summer we had awarded over 210 nursing scholarships. Wow. So it's been quite an event.

So we take part in the transplant games. We are part of T. Malagaines. We met Robert in 2016 at the Salt Lake City Games.

Our OPO connected us and she's like, you know, he opened this gentleman. He wrote this book and it's all done in her family perspective. So we instantly became friends, connected, you know, just we never looked back from there. My family kind of mixed fun up maybe because when I had my golf tournament I tried to invite celebrities and all these people and they, you know, Ben Rauffelsberger, whoever it was.

I had approached them and I said, do you think this author would come to our golf tournament and like bring his books and do a book signing and they're like, oh, Jody, you know, you're crazy. I'm a female. So I send Robert an email and he agreed to come to the tournament and thank you Mr. Tournament since and then it was about two years ago.

He had approached our family and started talking about the documentary and wanted to know if we would agree to let him feature Heather's journey in this documentary. So here we are today. And so was there a hesitation or was it an instant? Yes.

I have three other children. I think they were a little bit like, oh, this means our story is going to be public and, you know, it's a very private matter. But unanimously they kind of like, I don't want to say what Jody wants Jody gets, but they knew that this was my mission and they knew that this is what Heather would want. Mom on a mission.

Yes. Get out of my way. So we all really, really without hesitation, they met Robert at the tournament and we knew without a doubt that we would just be the only person in the world we would trust her story with. Wow.

That's a high honor, Robert. Certainly it is. Thank you for saying that. Yes.

I've been in this field for 20 plus years and always looking for something for donor families. We talk a lot about recipients and people see that side more but not as much on the impact of donor families, you know, that of the donor heroes themselves and the impact that the donation has on the donor families. Take us through you deciding to go from writing a novel to I'm going to do this docuser and then deciding that Heather had to be the first episode, right? Yes.

I have been a critical care nurse for 25 years. Most of that time is instant in the field of donation and transplant. I've worked at the OPO in St. Louis, an American transplant and currently I'm on staff at the Indiana donor network.

I've also worked on the transplant side at the transplant program at the hard transplant program at Bing Vincent here in Indianapolis as well as the liver transplant program at IU. So I have this extensive background and first hand knowledge of what these families go through without ever having gone through it myself. So I can't say that I truly understand but I certainly have observed and have grown to appreciate all the struggle that they go through, all the different levels of grief that they go through and decided that I needed to do something to honor that. In my mind, they weren't getting the praise that they deserve.

So that's why I've kind of wrote the book and then the novel, or then the documentary idea came to me and I started working on that and put together a team that includes a production company out of Springfield, Illinois called the Storyteller Studios and through a fiscal sponsorship agreement with the Mad Dog Strong Foundation that's managed by another donor family called the Grog Myers out of Chicago, Illinois. We managed to raise enough money to do the episode one. So episode one is fully funded by people who love and support organ donor families and organization from $5 donations to $5,000 donation. That's who put this together, the grassroots community that is organization.

I love that. I can't thank them enough for all the support that we received from them. When it came time to choose the donor family that would be featured in the first episode, I knew we needed to feature some of the donor family that was well established because this is going to be a very emotional project. And when I met the Millers and heard their story, I immediately thought they would make a great donor family to be featured in this first episode and to share their story on a national stage.

I love the story itself, right? But the making of the story and all the supporters who came together, that's even more incredible to make this happen and that our hero, Heather, everybody will hear her story was just pretty amazing. So it says viewers here from first responders and healthcare professionals who not only cared for Heather in her final days but have found inspiration in the Miller family's mission. So Jody, walk us through what that's like for you, putting this together and hearing the other perspectives and how you guys dealt with that as a family.

Shortly after she had passed, we had gone to trial. It ended up being 45 days for the offender and I felt like we got robbed. So I ended up volunteering for our police department and I went through their classes they have to be a volunteer because I needed to see first hand behind the scenes what went wrong. So I ended up connecting with some of the officers that were actually on scene of her crash.

So being a whole new respect for them, what they do, also the first responders and you just see that side of them that they're real people too. The first officer on scene wasn't much older than Heather and he supports our dog's turn every year. He's featured in the film and he still, it's been 16 years and he says he still thinks about that every day. So the impact that it has had on this wheel and community has been huge.

Yeah, she really, her face, she is the face of organization in our town because she's on billboards. We always promote that. When I got to see the documentary, who, you know, I was first hand with them last year when they came to film, I had lined up, you know, the first responders and actually the trauma doctor that took care of her. We interviewed Heather's liver recipient.

So I was on scene with all of those interviews. I didn't really know what they were saying at the time. I was behind the scenes. But to actually see what these people think of her and our family is a real true manifestation of who heteroism was.

It's beautiful to hear you both share how all of this came together. And for so many people who have not thought about donation, who have not had a conversation about donation, this is going to give people such a chance to have these conversations. So they're not left at such a vulnerable moment in their grief and devastation. And I can't imagine, Jody, how you found the strength to push through this.

I mean, this is a lot of reliving a very difficult time in your life and then supporting your family and then having Robert by your side would be such a gift. I would think someone who understands the beginning and end of donation. But that's the beauty of it because I guess there really is no end to donation because that story goes on and on. Correct.

So how has it been for you to have to go back and continue to talk about this? Has it brought healing? Has it brought comfort? A little of both.

It's an emotional roller coaster. The pain never goes away. I always say some days are better than others. But she just has left so many signs and I want to call it divine intervention that we need to do this.

And her spirit is still alive. And I really was bound and determined that I was not going to let that crash to punch as she was. But rather, we were going to focus on the positive that she was a registered organ donor and she saved complete strangers lives. So that's kind of my mission.

And like you said, I hear your drive. I hear you drive. I hear you drive. I hear it.

It's so amazing because I wish I could well, I'm going to steer parents into this podcast because we have so many parents who are just lost and they're not looking. They're not looking. They don't know how to find anything to grab hold of. And like you said, you were in a dark place, but somehow that letter that we send out to families, but that sparked hope and that spark grew into something really powerful and beautiful.

They're going to touch so many lives that Robert has stepped in to help initiate that and build on to this. So I'm just grateful that y'all are both here with us sharing this. We have shared many, many tears together. I love the way you speak about Heather and I love if you can tell us a little bit more about her as a person and in her life and before the crash.

So when she would come home from WVU, the school nursing, it's about an hour drive. She was the oldest of four. So she was 21. Her sister was 19 and her brothers were 15 and 17 at the time.

And the world revolved around Heather. She was loud. She would make her spirit known. And when she would come in, it was like, hey, the world needs to stop.

I'm home. Let's do stuff together. I like her. She had a true sense of family.

She had an opportunity to go to a nursing conference in Texas that week of spring break. And she chose to come home to be with her family. And so that just kind of tells you the kind of person she was. She loved the sing.

She knew the words to every song. She loved the Beatles. She had come home a few months before her passing. And I could tell she was up to something.

And they have no food. They can't afford food or anything in college. But she had gotten a tattoo on her foot. And I was so mad.

And it's here comes the sun. And she says, you know, that has a little sign on it. That was one of her favorite Beatles songs. And I have that tattoo now.

I knew it. I knew it, Mom. Oh. Yep.

Yep. So yeah, she loved the laugh. And she worked with her dad. There was like no task.

You know, she would get on. He was a contractor. She'd get on a roof with him. She'd lay tile.

She really had really unique relationships with all her siblings. And her one uncle, when she would come home from school, she would call him. And she would say, hey, you want to hang out on Uncle Joe? And I mean, that's pretty special.

She is cool. I know she's something special about talking to Mom. Can you hear it? Yeah.

But you introduced her to us. So now we all are going to walk away today knowing Heather because you're sharing. And I just want to also thank you and Robert for kind of being here together to introduce, I guess all of us who listen to this podcast, what the staff is like, Robert, to see how families need to share or want to share their stories because so many people are introduced to the world of OPO, organ procurement organizations. And it can be a scary place.

They don't know our staff. And they're going to be a very good person. And they're going to be a very good person. And they're going to be a good person.

And it can be a scary place. They don't know our staff. They don't know the people behind the scenes that spend many hours caring and thinking about the families and the heroes. And so I just feel like your face being with this documentary shares a lot about OPOs.

Yes. I have to say, first and foremost, it's been an honor to share Heather's story and to share the strength that the Miller family has summoned to be able to participate in this premiere episode. And I can't thank them enough for their trust in me. And as for the next few episodes, we are going to delve a little deeper into organ procurement organizations, tell the backstory of what we do on a daily basis, introduce viewers to the different roles that people will come into contact with if they ever interact with OPO because the problem is so many people don't have a good understanding of the process.

And they lean on things they hear. And unfortunately, there's a lot of myths out there. And that's another thing the documentary and the documentary series is going to do is debunk these myths that are out there to try and help the community have a better understanding of what organ donation really is in the miracle that it is to save a life. More Robert, you've gotten our attention, Mr.

And we want you to do more. But if people, their hearts have been touched by the story and they want to follow you, they want to support you, they want to see more. Where do you want them to visit? What do you want them to type into their computer or smartphones right now?

Great. Thank you for the opportunity to share that. We have a website for my production company. It's gifted productions and the website is gifted-production.com.

And I would encourage anyone who is a supporter of organization and would like to see more episodes like simillars to help support us by making a donation on our website. These are tax-deductible donations through a charitable organization called the Mad Docs Wrong Foundation. And I would encourage people to follow the links on the website to our other social media platforms. There's going to be some really exciting announcements coming up as we enter the summer months about screenings all around the country.

And I would really hope people take advantage of the opportunity to see the pilot episode of the Doctor Series. Wonderful. Wonderful job, you guys. Make a great team.

Thank you for sharing. Heather with us, Ms. Jodi. I'm going to start with the best and you'll always have an open mic here at the gifted life guys.

Thank you very much. Thank you so much for this opportunity. Okay, guys, I think it's time for our mental health moment here. I think you're right.

I just adore y'all. So, yeah, I was thinking what we're going to talk about. And I started thinking that there's what's called cognitive distortions. You can say stink and think in if you're talking to kids.

I like stink and think in because I got some stink and think in going on. But is that just negative thoughts? Yeah, yeah. But it's really distorted thoughts.

It means it's just not really quite right. So you can hear like when you get good at this, you can see or hear or notice how people are thinking. There's several of cognitive distortions, but we're going to talk about black and white thinking. Some people also call it polarized thinking.

So it's either this or that. And you know, honestly, life happens in the right. Yes, yes, not the black or white. And I mean, we see it everywhere.

People take a stand on one side or the other and we don't we don't consider what's in between. People will also live like that. Like I'm either awful or I'm great. Well, I mean, I think we're all a little bit of that.

Well, thanks to social media. I always see people like life's just got me down. I cannot catch a break. And I was like, maybe it's because you keep seeing it that way.

Like there's no positive. Yes. Coming in. And it really limits our thinking possibilities, our opportunities are it just it puts us in a box and who wants to live in a dark box?

One way or the other. Well, like I'm not going to talk about my husband. You can think of it. Turn around.

Turn around. I've been teaching my family the different, you know, different cognitive distortions. I mean, like at the dinner table, they'll be like, oh, that's black and white thinking dad or, you know, he's an engineer. So he really is.

He really can go into this black and white. It's this or that. And I'm like, no, it's and I'm so that is not my cognitive distortion. But it's certainly one to start thinking about.

Does your thinking help you or is it really holding you back? And there's different ways that you can help that. You can ask a friend for a different perspective. Like, hey, this is what I'm thinking.

Do you agree? And it's got to be a safe place. I was going to say, that's going to be a true friend that's going to tell you whether you like it or not. Don't disagree with me.

Yeah, but what it usually means is that you're only seeing one solution. Yeah. And so when you ask somebody else challenging yourself like, whoa, that's another solution. Yeah, you're right.

I think there's a president that said, every time you think there's no more solutions, there's one more solution. And it's putting yourself out there to really challenge yourself to catch yourself and say, no, I'm not going to live in this space. I'm going to try to pull myself out and live in life, this gray area, opportunity, creativity. Just enjoying life.

I like that. I work with the kids on that, like, if it's a problem, like homework or friend or whatever. Like, let's just talk it through. Let's think about this.

What about we approach it? I wish I could do that more for myself. I like to sit with you. Do you have a topic you like for us to cover here on the Gifted Life we'd love to hear from you?

I just shoot us an email info at thegiftedlife.org. In our question and answer segment today, I know someone and need a kidney. How do I find out if I can donate one of my kidneys? I love that you're thinking in that direction, like when people help other people and you want answers.

Education is key. It goes through the transplant center. You would have to find out which transplant center is working your friend up for a kidney transplant and contact them that I know what you're attempting to do. You really have to go through the living donation coordinator.

It's the technical job role for that. But in general, you can contact that transplant center, the kidney, very specifically kidney transplant center at that hospital. And let them know that you're interested. They would then start working you up and then to figure out if you would be a match because not everyone's a match.

You have to match multiple things like blood type, size and antigen matching. So they would start the process. Joy, that was a great answer. Thank you.

We are so grateful and appreciate all these questions. So y'all keep calling in with them. If you have a question, you just give us a call with 504-648-3477. In every episode, we take time to honor a hero.

Today we honor Kevin Pounds. And we learn about Kevin from his family. The daddy, a pop-all, a hero. My daddy was one of a kind.

He would give the shirt off his back to anyone. So we knew there was no better way to carry his legacy on than to donate his organs. If you saw him, you were likely to see a Dr. Pepper in his hand.

He was the life of the party. I still hear his little chuckle every day. Although we miss him, it heals our heart, knowing he was able to touch lives. I hope Kevin has the best rodeo arena.

And now we pause and say thank you to Kevin for the gift of life. And that is episode 235, guys. Thanks for hanging with us. Thanks for listening.

I'm your minister as an organ tissue and eye donor anytime, registerme.org. While the passion that Jody had for her daughter Heather, it's very special thanks for being here to come on and share Heather with us. And of course, be part of that first pilot of that docuseries and for Robert to even think beyond, it's a lot of work we do in the OPO. And he's still figuring it out.

That's the best thing. I want to try. Keep working through. We have jobs, our roles are so inundated sometimes with work, with work one thing after another after another.

So we have to be able to see through that and find time and then push through so that everyone can truly appreciate the donor families and the heroes that the donors are. Great educational tool, these heroes, these families. I love the project. I do too.

And to be able to share this with my families and the families that we work with, but my personal families so they can see this and friends. And people know what I do, but it's hard to put it hard so it has somebody to be able to see it on a screen will be. We want you to tell your friends to the best place to find us and share is our website. Thegivedolife.org.

Listen there and find links to listen on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, Pandora or wherever you listen to podcast. And if you listen to Apple Podcasts, please leave us a five star rating. It really helps others to find us. On social, please like our Facebook page, it's called TheGiftedLife Podcast.

You can also follow us on Instagram at GiftedLifePod. Our ask is that you go out and do something you would normally do to help us make life happen for one big team. Until next time. This is a production of the Louisiana Organ Procurement Agency or LOPA.

The Gifted Life is hosted by Lori Steele, Joey Voudro and Nala Schwab. Our executive producer is Kirsten Heinz, producer is Shalom Caraway. We are recorded, engineered and mixed in our Covington, Louisiana studio by Troy Perez.