Grief is the New Normal Podcast: S3E19 Why Can't I think straight anymore? Where Grief Messes with Your Mind

Grief Brain Is Real: The Neuroscience of Cognitive Grief Reactions You have reread that email four times and still cannot tell anyone what it said. You walked into a room and have no idea why you are there. You used to read a book a week and now you cannot get through a chapter. You feel like you are failing at being a functional adult. You are not failing. You are grieving. And your brain is in the middle of one of the most demanding neurological processes it will ever be asked to do. In episode three of the six-part Common Grief Reactions series, Dr. Heather Taylor goes upstairs into the mind to explain what is actually happening in the grieving brain, why it happens, and what to do about it with compassion instead of shame. In this episode you will learn: What grief brain actually is and what the neuroscience says about why it happens Why your prefrontal cortex basically goes offline during grief and what that costs you functionally How grief disrupts memory, concentration, decision-making, and executive function What the "year two ambush" is and why the second year of grief often hits harder than the first Why grief warps your sense of time and what that means for your autobiographical memory How to tell the difference between grief-related cognitive changes and something that needs clinical attention What "bare minimum mode" means and why it is not giving up, it is working with your brain Practical, compassion-first strategies for functioning during grief without shaming yourself into the ground Cognitive grief symptoms discussed in this episode: Memory loss and forgetfulness, concentration difficulties, decision fatigue, time distortion, intrusive thoughts and looping memories, dissociation, executive dysfunction, task initiation problems, neurofatigue, grief fog, brain fog after loss Story Time with Heather: Dr. Taylor shares what happened to her own reading life after her brother died, how the one escape that had carried her since childhood suddenly stopped working, and how she and her clients have found ways to adapt rather than just wait for the fog to lift. She also shares a sneak peek at her new spinoff podcast, Grief Between the Pages, exploring grief through the lens of romantasy and fiction. STAY Framework connection: This episode works with the S in STAY: Slow Down. Dr. Taylor breaks down why trying to out-discipline or out-willpower grief brain makes it worse, and what it actually looks like to reduce cognitive load as an act of care rather than surrender. Practical tools from this episode: Bare minimum mode: giving yourself permission to function at a reduced capacity because that is what is actually happening External scaffolding: sticky notes, phone alarms, calendar reminders for things your working memory cannot hold right now Breaking tasks into micro-steps to lower the initiation cost Talking to yourself like someone you love when you freeze, forget, or fall short Using the fog as information: cognitive heaviness often signals an emotional wave is coming Research and references: Mary-Frances O'Connor, neuroscientist and author, on the grieving brain and predictive modeling The prefrontal cortex and limbic system in grief Executive function and emotional load Autobiographical memory and temporal disorientation in grief Series navigation: Episode 1: Physical Grief Reactions: When Loss Lives in the Body Episode 2: Emotional Grief Reactions: The Feelings Nobody Puts in a Sympathy Card Episode 3: Cognitive Grief Reactions: Grief Brain Is Real (you are here) Episode 4: Behavioral Grief Reactions: The Weird Things We Do When We Are Hurting (coming next) Episode 5: Spiritual and Existential Grief Reactions Episode 6: Social Grief Reactions ------------------------ Grief is not a problem to solve. It is a human experience to move through, and most of us were never taught how. Grief is the New Normal is hosted by Dr. Heather Taylor, licensed psychologist and grief specialist with over a decade of experience in grief, trauma, and reproductive psychology. This show exists to change the conversation around loss by expanding what grief looks like, who it belongs to, and what it actually means to integrate it into your life. Whether you're grieving a death, a diagnosis, a relationship, an identity shift, or the world as you knew it, your grief is real, it deserves space, and you are not behind. And if you're a clinician, coach, or helper carrying your own grief while holding space for others, this show was built for you too. Dr. Taylor brings research-informed frameworks, honest clinical perspective, and the STAY framework, a grief-informed approach to living with loss that goes far beyond the five stages. Expect nuance, depth, and conversations that take grief seriously. No toxic positivity. No fixing. Just honest conversation, real validation, and a community built around grief literacy, disenfranchised grief, anticipatory grief, collective grief, and the full spectrum of human loss. grief support podcast · disenfranchised grief · anticipatory grief · grief after loss · grief for clinicians · grief-informed care · grief literacy · coping with grief · grief and identity · mental health and grief · reproductive grief · pet loss grief · collective trauma and grief ·  grief integration · STAY framework New episodes dropping regularly Connect with Dr. Heather Taylor: Website: griefisthenewnormal.com Instagram: @grief_is_the_new_normal Substack: How We STAY with Grief https://drheathertaylor.substack.com/ Newsletter: Bridging the Grief Gap on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/heather-taylor-psyd-licensed-psychologist/ Journal: Authentically Unapologetic, available on Amazon https://a.co/d/0dM0DloC Contact: [email protected] This episode is sponsored by Oasys EHR. Try Oasys free for your first month. Use code HEATHER-2865 at oasysehr.com. Music by The Dadicorns. Copyright 2026.