Hayley Wickenheiser's Life Lessons

There are a lot of self-help books out there, but none of them are written by a hockey legend with four Olympic gold medals and a medical degree. Hayley Wickenheiser's extraordinary success as a woman in a male-dominated sport happened because of her remarkable grit and resilience. In this episode, she chats with Medcan's Chief People and Growth Officer Bronwen Evans about her new book, Over the Boards: Lessons from the Ice, and tells stories of the moments and mentors that made her who she is. Episode 88 webpage   LINKS   Check out Hayley's social media: Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn and Facebook  Read Hayley's bio and see her Olympic details here  Watch CBC's The National and its feature on Hayley and her COVID-19 vaccine campaign, "This is Our Shot" here  Learn more about Conquer COVID, the organization that worked with Hayley to deliver PPE in 2020. Hayley Wickenheiser TEDx YYC talk: Make a new status quo  Read about Wickfest, The Canadian Tire Wickenheiser World Female Hockey Festival founded by Hayley.   INSIGHTS   According to Hayley Wickenheiser, the best athletes often are not the most talented—rather, they're the most resilient. "They're willing to get knocked down and get back up again," she says. For many years, Hayley was the only girl playing hockey on boys' teams in rural Saskatchewan. She cut her hair short and had to change out of her gear in the car. Those years taught her how to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Now, her resiliency is her greatest strength, and something she encourages everyone to develop. Pushing through difficult situations will toughen your skin, and prepare you to face other challenges that come your way. "You don't have to be great at anything to be able to develop your resiliency," she says. [09:16]   People are power: Many people think that raising a child will hinder the success of your career, but Hayley says her son Noah has done the opposite. He taught her how to leave the stress of her job on the ice, and keep her family life separate. "Your kids just want you to be present," Hayley says. "Noah didn't care how many goals I scored, and he made me a better player because of that. I was more patient and I was able to have more empathy for my teammates." The people in your life want to see you succeed. "If you don't have good people around you, you don't really have a chance to be successful," she says. [12:11]   We're more than what we do: Your identity should be something deeper and more integral to your personality than achievements or failures. After her team's loss against the U.S. at the 1998 Nagano Olympics, Hayley was devastated and went into what she calls an "Olympic depression." Her coach, Wally Kozak, noticed how the loss affected her and handed her a piece of paper that read, "A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if you're not enough without it, you'll never be enough with it." Hayley still carries the piece of paper in her wallet today, more than twenty years later. The idea, then, is to develop a sense of self that is deeper than one's successes or failures. [16:21]   As a child, Hayley had emotional outbursts so dramatic that her mother would spray her with water from the kitchen faucet to calm her down. Over time, Hayley learned how to manage her emotions and use them productively. "If I need to worry or be sad or angry, I'll give myself an hour where I'm just going to lay it all out. When that hour's up, I've got to let it go and move on," she says. Everyone experiences emotion, and it's important to feel those emotions, to process them. But it can also be difficult to put them aside when it comes time to work or focus. Hayley considers her so-called "freakout sessions" as effective ways to compartmentalize and cope with difficult feelings that you can't always control. [18:36] Back when Hayley was training for the Olympics, she received some advice from Ryan Smith, at the time the captain of the Edmonton Oilers: "Rest is a weapon, Hayley. Use it." At the time, she was pushing herself extremely hard. As she aged, Hayley realized how wise that advice was. "I do really cherish my rest days, and I try not to book anything when I have a day off," she says. Sleep is very important for recovery and for chronic diseases, but rest doesn't have to mean sleeping or doing nothing. "It can be doing things you enjoy, spending time with family or friends, anything that fills your cup up again," says Hayley. [24:22]