0:26
ungrateful even for wanting more.
Continued...
0:29
On this show, I'm going to help you cut through the noise, turn your setbacks into your
0:34
success story, and become the most bold and badass version of you.
0:39
I'm talking about calling in the most exciting opportunities, experiences, and people
0:44
into your life, and claiming the abundance that is your birthright.
0:50
So if you're ready to make some serious magic happen, grab your coffee and water, and
Continued...
0:61
Well, happy Wednesday.
0:63
I feel like this past week went by so fast, like it's already another week.
0:67
I don't know, did it go by fast for you, too?
Continued...
0:69
I've been really busy lately with all the new things, the new season that I'm in life.
0:74
I don't know if you listen to the most recent episodes, but I told you about a new
0:76
job that I manifested.
0:78
It's only part time, but it's money through Friday, 4.38.
0:80
I'm to 8 a.m., so super early mornings, which means my bedtime is earlier.
Continued...
0:85
I used to get in bed kind of early, like 9, 9, 30, but now I get in bed 8 sharp, no exceptions.
0:92
So my days a lot, this year, and then I'm also in school, which I haven't talked about
0:95
in a while, but in my earlier episodes, I talked about time back in school for neuroscience.
0:99
So I'm 30 years old, and I graduated high school in 2012.
1:02
I did go to college right out of high school.
Continued...
1:04
I played college volleyball and basketball, and the first school I was in school for
1:08
anesthesiology, and then the school I transferred to after the first two years, they didn't
1:12
have a canecology program, so I was just taking the closest thing to that, but it wasn't
1:16
really what I wanted to be doing.
1:18
And so that, along with some personal life things going on, I ended up taking a year off,
Continued...
1:23
which turned into a few years, and I eventually finished my associates in canecology,
1:29
and then decided I want to do my bachelor's in neuroscience.
1:32
So here I am, I went back to school last fall, 2023 fall, I believe, and I end
1:39
The thing about my neuroscience degree plan versus my canecology degree plan, while they're
Continued...
1:43
both sciences, the sciences that are required for those degree plans are the exact
1:47
So with canecology, I did a lot of A&P, and now I'm in physiology.
1:51
I believe I did some biology, can't remember it was so long ago, but all the sciences required
1:56
from my neuroscience class are like my chemistry one and two, Gen.
Continued...
1:59
Cam and OCam, physics, biology one and two, all of the hardcore, like heavy swinger
1:66
Heavy hitter, I don't know why I said swinger, heavy hitter science says, and I'll just say,
1:71
I'm pretty good at math, and I like the idea of science, I like to know the fundamentals
Continued...
1:76
So fundamentally, I like science, but also science is one of the subjects that my brain
1:80
has to work a little bit harder for.
1:82
I have to be really paying attention and be really conscious and intentional to understand
1:85
the science, which is a big deal to me.
1:87
I really appreciate understanding the science behind things, which is kind of why I'm in
Continued...
1:91
the career field that I'm in, understanding the psychology of human behavior and how to
1:94
rewire the brain and understanding the human brain.
1:96
Very intriguing and very fascinating to me.
1:99
So it makes sense, but also it is a bit of a tough subject for me.
2:02
So I am bringing this episode to you today because I'm taking a summer class and taking
Continued...
2:06
a chemistry summer class, and I really want to be so super freaking transparent with you
2:12
about my journey in school and taking this class, because this is my third attempt
2:18
Don't make fun of me.
2:19
Don't judge me, whatever you do what you want to do, but at the end of the day, I just want
Continued...
2:23
to be super transparent.
2:24
So one, I'm not just putting my highlight reel out there for you and you're thinking like,
2:27
oh, she has it all together, she has her life, everything's going great, and she doesn't
2:31
have any struggles or problems.
2:32
That is 100% in all the case, and this is the perfect example of that.
Continued...
2:35
So I took chemistry one, Jen Camp, my first semester vac, in 2023 fall.
2:40
I got about halfway through the semester, and I was barely getting by, like just enough to
2:46
not be failing, until I got to a point where I did the math, and if I made 100 on everything
2:52
else for the rest of the semester, I still wouldn't be able to pass.
2:54
That point, I'm like, okay, I need to withdraw from this class, because I don't want
Continued...
2:57
And I don't want it to wait on my GPA.
2:59
So did that withdraw, resigned up for it again in the spring of 2024, so this last semester,
2:67
Got by probably three quarters of the way through the semester, same situation, I did
Continued...
2:72
better in the first half, in the first like third of the semester, because I was like,
2:75
I remember all this stuff in the last semester, and this is right before it gets hard.
2:79
So I did find, I'm scraping by, about three, fours of the way through the semester, same
2:83
There's like a drop-off point for me where I'm like, okay, I was getting it, I was getting it.
Continued...
2:86
Now I'm completely lost, I have no idea what's going on, someone please help, right?
2:91
At this point, I do the math, the numbers just aren't numbering, and it doesn't matter
2:95
if I make 100 on everything else for the rest of the semester, I am not going to pass
2:99
So I have to reach out, do this whole process with my guidance counselor, the people who are
Continued...
3:04
allowed to submit like a custom withdrawal, because it's too far in the semester to actually
3:09
withdraw on my own, I have to get approved through a few people, and so I go through this whole
3:13
process, they're like, yeah, we'll go ahead and withdraw you.
3:16
So that was my second attempt, failing, failing.
3:19
Now, I quickly get this, and be like, you know what, maybe chemistry isn't my thing.
Continued...
3:24
Maybe this is not my strong suit, maybe I just shouldn't even be in this career field.
3:28
Maybe I really just need to hang up my hat on this holiday day.
3:31
I've tried this twice, it's not working out for me, you know, let's just do, move in another
3:37
I could take that and accept it as failure, something I learned in my healing journey
Continued...
3:42
when I was healing from my sexual trauma and all of my childhood trauma and look at
3:48
the lifelong journey, like there was no point where I'm like, okay, I'm fully healed,
3:51
but I can say that I successfully rewired my brain to start thinking and act in like the
3:55
woman I wanted to be, which was confident, happy at pee, fulfill all these things that I didn't
3:60
feel like I had at the end of the day if you asked me, are you at peace with yourself
Continued...
3:63
Are you happy, do you like what you see when you're looking at the mirror?
3:66
Do you have joy in your life?
3:67
Are you actually fulfilled with the light that you have and the direction that you're
Continued...
3:70
The answer was no, no, no, no, no.
3:72
I didn't have any hope for a brighter, but now I do and I rewired my brain to feel
3:75
that way and to start showing up and acting as the woman who creates those outcomes and
3:80
inevitably I created these outcomes that I'm really proud of and I'm really fulfilled and
3:84
happy with and I'm at peace with my life and who I am.
Continued...
3:86
So I did figure this out and one of the ways that I figured this out to also use in my
3:91
weight loss journey, last 75 pounds, is this concept that I talk about every once in a while,
3:95
called observation without judge.
3:96
So the whole idea behind this is whatever it is that you're trying to look, trying to
4:00
lose weight, you're trying to get a promotion, you're trying to establish a new relationship
Continued...
4:04
or just something in your life, you have this goal.
4:07
And maybe the way that you are going about it, you're not getting the result that you want
4:10
and you don't know why, but you're just not getting the result and it's really freaking
4:14
That was me and the first two semesters that I attempted this look, if you're going to come
Continued...
4:17
to show you, stop judging.
4:19
I'm not, doesn't come natural, it's kind of hard for me and I'm doing a bit of any ways.
4:22
You have this goal, it's not going the way you want.
4:23
Observation without judgment is separating yourself from the situation, you're making
4:27
yourself an unbiased third party of you're observing the situation and you're saying,
Continued...
4:31
okay, what is going well, what is not going well, what could be the potential things
4:35
that are playing into that, what are the factors that are making this not go so well?
4:39
How am I feeling, what are some triggers that are happening right before things go
4:42
south, you're really just being an observer and you're gathering as much data as you
4:48
can as to why this result could be.
Continued...
4:50
And you're doing this without judging yourself without making it mean something about
4:54
yourself, it doesn't mean that you're a failure, it doesn't mean that you suck, you're
4:57
doing this wrong, you're incapable, you're not worth whatever outcome, you're just taking
4:61
yourself out of it, you're taking the emotion out of it and you're being an unbiased
4:64
third party of observer.
Continued...
4:65
And what you're doing when you're able to separate yourself from the outcome and separate
4:68
the emotion from the outcome is you're able to find pattern that make this picture a lot
4:73
more clear because when emotion is involved, it's not super clear, your blinded or
4:76
your guarded by the emotion, there's walls up and all you can see and feel is the emotional
Continued...
4:82
But when you take this guard down because there is no emotional connection, now you can see
4:86
Okay, well when I do it this way, I tend to get this react, when this thing happens, it tends
4:90
to make me feel this way and then when I tend to feel this way, I tend to react this way.
4:94
And then that reaction is what caused this outcome.
Continued...
4:96
You're able to see things as black and white or kind of like a science experiment like,
5:00
oh, A plus B equals C or however, you know, you want to equate that.
5:03
You kind of start to figure out one plus one equals two, two plus two equals four.
5:07
And when you can start to do that, you can start to make minor tweaks to the way you approach
Continued...
5:12
So, for me, I took this class with a full load of class first semester that I took
5:16
it, 2023 fall 12 to 16 hours is considered full time.
5:19
I was, so that didn't work out for me.
5:21
So the second semester that I attempted, spring of 2024, I took a 12 hour class low.
5:26
I had one less class, but I still had full time classes and it was a full 16 week semester.
Continued...
5:30
That didn't work out for me.
5:31
So I said, hmm, okay, what is going on here?
5:34
How can we do this stuff?
5:35
So now I am in a summer class.
5:37
It is a four week class.
Continued...
5:40
It is the only class that is a Monday through Thursday class and it is five hours a day,
5:44
So the daily commitment is a little more.
5:48
However, there are some very significant factors that are done.
5:51
The first one is that it's the only class I'm taking.
Continued...
5:53
I have no other classes to worry about, no other distractions, no other homework load,
5:57
or anything like that to worry about.
5:58
So this is my only focus, okay, putting my all in.
5:61
The second factor is the first two attempts I took at my university, where I'm actually
5:65
getting my bachelor's degree from, University of Texas at Dallas.
Continued...
5:68
Now, this time I'm taking it out of community college, the summer and the class size
5:73
is much, my significantly smaller.
5:76
At my classes at my university, there's anywhere from my two to 300 students per class.
5:81
So there is no one on one interaction.
5:82
There is no stop in the teacher.
Continued...
5:84
Every time you have a question or need clarification, you have to have to have to find
5:88
them during their office hours or during some type of outside of class hours to get any questions
5:92
answered or any further.
5:93
For my summer class, there is EB20 to 30 students total.
5:97
I don't even think there's that.
Continued...
5:98
The lecture and lab is combined.
6:00
So the class structure is set up a little different because it's five hours.
6:04
We get breaks in between.
6:05
There's such a low student to teacher ratio.
6:08
We get to ask questions throughout.
Continued...
6:09
We get clarification every time we need it throughout the actual lecturing and working through
6:14
We can do the homework right there in class.
6:16
So I get to find out did I get this right and if I didn't lie and I get to fix it right
Continued...
6:21
So so far, I mean, look, we're only like two, three days in at the time of this recording.
6:25
But so far, I've already gotten a hundred on.
6:27
Because I actually have this more intimate container where I get to ask questions and
6:30
I get to be more indirect contact with a professor.
6:33
And I get my questions answered in real time.
Continued...
6:35
And it's just already.
6:36
It's going so much smoother.
6:37
And I think that this is helping me so much.
6:39
The big thing that I want to differentiate here if you have a goal and you continue
6:43
and continue to miss the mark.
Continued...
6:46
I don't want to say feel because I don't think anything is a fail.
6:48
I think it's all data.
6:48
You continue to miss the mark at some point.
6:50
You might well, this isn't for me.
6:52
I just suck at it or it's not meant.
Continued...
6:54
There's a time to differentiate between yes.
6:56
This is actually maybe this isn't for me.
6:58
Maybe I need to go back to my why.
6:60
What is the reason that I want this?
6:61
And if the why is not fully aligned and powerful enough, maybe it isn't for you.
Continued...
6:66
Maybe it's not aligned.
6:67
Maybe you do need to change your goal.
6:68
But if you sit with it and you have that gut feeling like you know that feeling of your
6:72
intuition saying, no, I know with every piece of my being that this is for me.
6:76
So there has to be another way.
Continued...
6:78
Then that's when you know to keep reworking the problem.
6:81
Keep looking at it from a different angle.
6:83
You will find the right angle.
6:84
And for me, at this moment in time, I still feel like this neuroscience degree path.
Continued...
6:91
So I am reworking it.
6:92
This is my third attempt at taking Jen Kim one at the college level.
6:97
And I think I'm going to get it this time.
6:99
I think third times a time for me.
Continued...
7:01
If for any reason, it were to not work out.
7:03
Maybe I would reconsider.
7:04
Hey, maybe is this for me?
7:05
Because this is only Jen Kim one.
7:06
I still got to take Jen Kim two.
Continued...
7:10
Like I got to take all these things, right?
7:12
So if it continues and continues to not work, maybe I need to revisit.
Continued...
7:16
If I still have this gut feeling, which I at this current time, I do that this is for me.
7:21
And this is just a hiccup.
7:22
This is just a bump in my road that when I look back, I'm going to be like,
7:25
I'm so glad I kept pushing.
7:26
I'm so glad I didn't give up.
Continued...
7:28
Then you know, okay, let's just rework the angle.
7:30
Let's just keep trying.
7:32
Eventually, you're going to get it right.
7:34
After enough attempts, you're going to get it right.
Continued...
7:36
No success story ever happened.
7:37
Maybe one out of a billion, but no success story ever happened where the first attempt.
7:41
They figured it out.
Continued...
7:44
Every success happened after mistakes, after experience, after learning and figuring out what went wrong.
7:50
And how do we need to adjust this to get it right?
Continued...
7:54
And you never know how many attempts are rerout or experiences it's going to take for you to get it right.
7:60
You're never going to know until you get it right.
7:62
You won't know that this is the final attempt until it works until it happens.
7:65
So you just have to keep going.
7:67
And that's what I want to communicate here is it's so much easier to do that when you observe without judging yourself.
Continued...
7:72
When you observe without making it mean something about you, about your weight loss journey,
7:76
about your career journey, about your relationship journey.
7:79
Whatever it is that you are trying to achieve, take the emotion out of it, take that meaningful connection of what it means about you.
7:86
Out of it, it means nothing about your character or what you're capable or worthy of.
7:90
And look at it as data.
Continued...
7:91
How can you approach this different get a better out?
7:94
So I hope that that translates for whatever it is that you're trying to do.
7:97
I mentioned before that I love 75 pounds.
8:00
After I gave birth in March of 2020, I did not drop the pound as they say a lot of people do when they breastfeed.
8:06
I did breastfeed for a little while.
Continued...
8:07
I did not drop the pounds.
8:08
I lost literally the baby weight, like the weight of the baby plus two pounds.
8:12
I gained almost a hundred pounds during my and I lost about 12.
8:16
So I did go on a weight loss journey and did not drop off as in for the first six to eight months.
Continued...
8:21
It wasn't happening for me.
8:22
I was not losing the weight.
8:24
I was having a pity party with myself.
8:26
And so one day I saw a picture of myself in something just clicked in my brain.
Continued...
8:29
God, I'm disgusted with myself.
8:31
It didn't feel healthy and joyful.
8:33
I was not comfortable at that size.
8:35
And when I saw this, it clicked for me like I have.
8:37
So this is when my journey really started off by me journaling.
Continued...
8:40
Every time I would eat, I would journal how I felt or the food and after.
8:44
So if I was craving something in particular, I would write how I was feeling.
8:47
What I was craving maybe why if it brought why.
8:50
And then afterwards, I would write down how did I feel mentally, how did I feel energetically.
8:56
So I was tracking data.
Continued...
8:57
And over time, I did notice some patterns.
8:59
Certain foods, I would crave hot cheetos, I would crave hot wings.
8:63
And I would crave certain quote unquote unhealthy or junk foods when I was not feeling.
8:68
So, and I noticed that I would have these cravings.
8:70
And then when I would eat these foods, I would feel like shit, physical after.
Continued...
8:74
I would have no energy.
8:75
I would feel a little shit.
8:77
And so I noticed these patterns.
8:78
Okay, if I eat these foods this time, this is going to contribute to my physical lack.
8:81
This is going to contribute to my mental lack of energy or lack of confidence or whatever, right?
Continued...
8:87
And on the one hand, it just gave me information to use to make better decision.
8:92
But on the other hand, it actually started to change what I was even wanting.
8:96
Like, when I realized how bad some of these things may be, feel I didn't even want them.
9:00
I didn't crave them as strong.
9:01
And then I also noticed some healthy patterns of foods that made me feel really good energetically.
Continued...
9:06
And foods that made me feel really good mentally.
9:08
And naturally, my brain and my body started wanting those foods.
9:13
And naturally, because I was consuming healthier foods and foods that were more energetically
9:18
supportive for my body, I started getting better results.
9:21
Because my choices were more in alignment with the goal I was going for.
Continued...
9:24
So, I want this to translate to whatever situation it is that you have, whatever outcome that you're wanting,
9:29
that maybe you feel like you're missing the mark by a little, you are not getting the outcome that you want.
9:34
You're maybe not having the experience that you want.
9:36
And I want you to think of it from an unbiased third-party observer's perspective and say, okay, well, what's going really well here?
9:44
What is maybe not going so well?
Continued...
9:45
Where am I missing the mark?
9:47
How am I feeling during this time?
9:49
What events or sequence of events are leading up to this response that is maybe getting me, this negative result,
9:55
are not getting me the positive outcome that I want?
9:57
And what can I possibly tweak?
Continued...
9:59
Or can I tweak in this equation?
9:61
And then you just try it.
9:62
And that's the thing, maybe the tweak that you make and you try this new attempt, maybe that one isn't the right equation either.
9:68
Maybe that's not the right formula, maybe that one's not going to get you that outcome either.
9:71
But then you just do the same thing.
Continued...
9:73
You observe for a period and then you tweak and then you try again, you put into action.
9:77
You observe for a period, you look at the outcomes you're getting.
9:80
Maybe you need to tweak again and then you put into action, your new plan.
9:84
It's just a formula.
Continued...
9:86
It's just data tracking, observing the data,
9:88
and then coming up with a new formula and seeing if that work.
9:90
Because eventually you're going to find the right outcome.
9:92
As you start to get better and better results, you'll start to notice what is contributing to those results.
9:97
And then you'll start getting closer and closer to that desired outcome.
Continued...
9:99
Until eventually you figure out the formula.
10:02
So as of right now, my first attempt did not work.
10:06
And then my second attempt did not quite work.
10:08
It worked better than the first attempt.
Continued...
10:09
If you were classes to worry about and then I got a little bit better results.
10:12
But now I'm taking it all by itself.
10:14
It's the only cause I have to worry about.
10:16
And I have more attention.
10:17
And already I'm getting better results.
Continued...
10:19
But we're going to hold that as still have 16 days left of class.
10:22
So then we all the good energy.
10:24
I'm speaking it into existence.
10:25
I'm speaking life into my positive outcome.
Continued...
10:27
And I'm speaking positive energy into that.
10:29
But I think I genuinely think I'm going to do better this.
10:32
And so my goal for you is to take away what can you observe in your life as an unbiased
10:37
third party observer.
10:38
How can you implement these steps into that process?
Continued...
10:41
To one, make it less emotional and to make it a little more enjoyable.
10:45
And less about you as a person.
10:47
And more about you just getting the result.
10:49
Let me know if this is clicking for you.
Continued...
10:51
I hope that you enjoyed this episode.
10:53
If this was helpful, please take a minute.
10:55
Find me on Instagram at VoldyLacy and send me a message.
10:58
Let me know if you have any questions at all if you need any further clarification.
10:62
And let me know what goals you're working on.
Continued...
10:63
What you've been able to observe without judging yourself.
10:66
What tweaks you're going to make and what your new plan of action is.
10:69
Can use me as a silent accountability.
10:70
I have found that sometimes even if nobody is reaching back out to me to hold me accountable,
10:75
just putting it out into the universe and telling someone what your goal is and what your plan of action is.
Continued...
10:81
It adds a level of realness to it and will give a level of accountability to use
10:86
subconsciously to make you actually followed through.
10:89
So use me as that source.
10:90
I will obviously respond back.
10:92
So you don't have to worry about it just being a one-sided thing.
Continued...
10:95
But use me as that accountability if you need to.
10:98
And lastly, if you got any value out of this episode, you know,
11:01
it would be so, so grateful for you if you took 30 seconds or less to write a five-star review for the show.
11:07
It truly helps with searchability and of course rankings with who doesn't want.
11:11
But it really will help for that visibility for anybody else out here who needs to hear this myth.
Continued...
11:15
So we all would appreciate it so, so much.
11:18
All right, thank you so much again for tuning in for another week.
11:21
I love you so much.
11:22
I hope you have an amazing week and I'll see you in next Wednesday.
11:28
Thank you so much for being here and queen.
Continued...
11:31
Give yourself a high five for showing up and committing to be the best version of yourself for you and your people.
11:37
You are such a badass for that.
11:39
If you got anything good from this episode, would you send the love back by DMing me on Instagram at Bob Lee Lacy?
11:46
Letting me know exactly which part resonated with you.
11:49
These types of messages empower me to keep showing up.
Continued...
11:52
And they also help me understand the types of conversations you really care about.
11:57
We'll talk again soon.
11:58
But for now, it's time for you to step up and start being the badass that we both know you are.
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