Hold On Loosely: Holy Indifference and Ordering Your Day | The Catholic Man Show

Adam took the family on his parents' annual vacation this week, and Grandpa rented four jet skis. With a house full of kids, four turned out to be exactly the right number. Adam threw Luke off the back four times, which he's counting as a win. But the real event was the card game. If you've never played spoons with the Minihan family, know this going in: it ends in blood. Sheetrock has been broken. Tables have taken damage. Adam came home with a scratch, a bruise, and a loss he's still sore about. His sister Kaylin was his rival, so he spent the whole game yanking the spoons to the far end of the table just to make her fly for one. Then Grandpa broke out the karaoke machine after the kids went down, and Adam lassoed Lady Haylee into a duet of "Jackson." Every man should have a go-to karaoke song ready for when the moment finds him. Adam jokes, God help him, is "My Heart Will Go On."Dave, by his own admission, has no fun stories. He spent the weekend working himself to the bone, finished cutting his wheat, and pulled a good harvest. Adam brought up while his family was away, something got into the coop. A fox or a coyote, most likely, because a raccoon doesn't kill a dozen birds. They lost the four new chicks and the brooding hens. Chicken math giveth, and this week it took away.The pour is 1792 Full Proof, a single-barrel store pick from Broken Arrow Wine and Spirits, a Catholic-owned shop. It's barrel strength and it drinks hot. Jim, keeper of the yummy scale, gave it a 5.99 out of 6, then shrugged and told the guys to be indifferent to it. Which, as it happens, is the whole show.Because tonight the topic is holy indifference, and Adam frames it first through ordering your day. Reading Sertillanges' The Intellectual Life, he lands on a hard truth: you are not at the mercy of your mood, and the man who waits until he feels like it never starts. Order gets carried out precisely when you don't feel like it, because the hierarchy of what matters doesn't shift with how you feel. Decide what a good day looks like before the day begins. Get your three to five things done no matter what the highs and lows throw at you. Kill the second alarm. Don't become a slave to the pillow. Small time used faithfully beats big time used erratically. And guard your silence, because a scattered mind can't go deep, and the first place you feel the noise is in adoration.Then the turn. Holy indifference isn't apathy. It's the opposite. It's a hyper-preference, wanting the will of God so completely that you stop caring whether He sends riches or poverty, health or sickness, a long life or a short one. St. Ignatius calls it indifference to all created things. St. Francis de Sales sharpens it: the resigned man accepts God's will but still quietly prefers his own, while the indifferent man has let go of the preference itself. Wax in the hand. Clay in the potter's grip. Dave brings it home with the night a car stopped short in front of him and he thought, what if I'd just died? His first panic was, who takes care of my family? And the answer he heard was, do you think you're the one who takes care of them? Have they not always been Mine first? Protect, provide, establish, and then hold it all loosely. You can't abandon yourself to a God you don't trust, so build the faith that lets you trust Him. Raise your glass.TOPICS COVEREDAdam's family vacation and Grandpa renting four jet skis for a house full of kidsThe Minihan family spoons tournament that draws blood and breaks sheetrock, with Adam's sister Kaylin as his rivalWhy every man needs a go-to karaoke song, and Adam roping Lady Haylee into a "Jackson" duetDave working himself to the bone all weekend with no story to show for itDave finishing the wheat harvest and losing a dozen chickens to a predator while the family was away"Chicken math," and why your flock is a moving number and never a static oneBourbon of the week: 1792 Full Proof, a single-barrel store pick from Broken Arrow Wine and SpiritsJim's yummy scale verdict: a 5.99 out of 6, delivered with a shrugOrdering your day so you're not at the mercy of your moods, from Sertillanges' The Intellectual LifeDeciding what a good day looks like before the day even beginsKevin O'Leary, Steve Jobs, and getting your three to five things done regardless of the highs and lowsGuarding your focus: the Brick, one alarm, no snooze, and refusing to be a slave to the pillowWhy small time used faithfully beats big time used erraticallyWhy living well for your family is harder than dying for itRecollection over noise, guarding silence, and why you feel a scattered mind first in adorationCatholic freedom as the ability to choose the good, not the license to do whatever you wantHoly indifference as a hyper-preference for God's will, not apathySt. Ignatius on indifference to health or sickness, riches or poverty, honor or dishonorSt. Francis de Sales on the difference between resignation and indifference, and the image of wax in the handThe daily offering, and Adam's "Lord, take it all from me" prayer in adorationThe detachment exercise: if a tornado took your house, would you still trust Him?Dave's near-death moment and the words he heard: do you think you're the one who takes care of your family?"Hold on loosely, but don't let go," and why you can't abandon yourself to a God you don't trustREFERENCED IN THIS EPISODEBooks & Writings:The Intellectual Life by A.G. Sertillanges, O.P. (Adam's favorite; "every man should read it")Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis de Sales (resignation vs. indifference; the wax in the hand)The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola (indifference to all created things)Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson (Adam's take: a brilliant visionary who led a sad life)Divine Mercy in My Soul by St. Maria Faustina (free on the Amen app)True Devotion to Mary by St. Louis de Montfort (free on the Amen app)Saints & Church Fathers:St. Ignatius of Loyola (holy indifference; the First Principle and Foundation)St. Francis de Sales (resignation vs. indifference)St. Thérèse of Lisieux (the "little way," faithful small time)St. Maria Faustina and St. Louis de Montfort (the two books that changed Adam's life)People:Adam Minihan (host; founder of M6 Marketing; writes The Grounded Builder on Substack)Dave Niles (host; Lady Pamela and the kids)Jim Spencer (in studio; keeper of the yummy scale)Kevin O'Leary, "Mr. Wonderful," and Steve Jobs (the time-management and focus thread)Karl Graham (friend of the show; the log-every-30-minutes habit)Musical cameos: 38 Special ("Hold On Loosely"), Johnny Cash and June Carter ("Jackson"), Celine Dion ("My Heart Will Go On"), Lionel Richie ("Easy")Programs & Institutions:The Brick (the focus device that blocks distracting apps)Broken Arrow Wine and Spirits (Catholic-owned; the 1792 Full Proof store pick)M6 Marketing (Adam's company)SPONSOR BLOCKSponsor: The Amen app (from the Augustine Institute)The Amen app is the free Catholic prayer app the guys use to prep the family for Sunday, listening to the Sunday Gospel on the way to Holy Mass. Since 2021 it's had over 950,000 downloads, and the guys want to push it past a million. No paywall, no subscription trap, no upfront cost. It even has Divine Mercy in My Soul and True Devotion to Mary on it, free. Download the Amen app right now.Sponsor: Select International Tours: selectinternationaltours.comWhen Adam and Dave decided to lead their first pilgrimage, one name kept coming up: Select International Tours. Having used them, the guys can vouch for it. They're the best. Wherever in the world you want to go, Select has a tour ready. Whether you want to lead a pilgrimage or attend one, head to selectinternationaltours.com and see everything they offer. You won't regret it.