How Am I Unknowingly Reinforcing the Very Wound I’m Trying to Heal? episode artwork

EPISODE · Apr 2, 2026 · 57 MIN

How Am I Unknowingly Reinforcing the Very Wound I’m Trying to Heal?

from Living the Questions with Courtney Koester · host Courtney Koester

How might we be reinforcing the very wound we’re trying to heal without even realizing it?In this episode, I’m reflecting on a deep realization that recently clicked into place for me: that some of our most painful beliefs may be reinforced not only by what we’ve lived through, but by the subtle, unconscious ways we continue abandoning ourselves. I explore what it means to get honest about the wounds that rise to the surface in tender moments, to listen to what we truly believe beneath logic, and to notice how our repeated choices may be communicating something powerful to our inner world.I talk about the connection between self-abandonment, feeling disposable, people-pleasing, perfectionism, and the quiet ways we may learn to place ourselves last without even realizing the deeper message that sends. I also reflect on what it means to build a more conscious, compassionate relationship with ourselves. One rooted not in cliché or bypass, but in curiosity, honesty, grace, and small brave choices over time.This is an episode about core wounds, self-worth, relationship, and the slow practice of returning to the parts of ourselves we may have left behind. If you’ve ever struggled to believe that you matter, I hope this conversation offers a place to get curious about what’s been reinforced, what’s ready to be understood differently, and what it might look like to begin offering yourself another way.Ready to take these conversations deeper?Share Your Voice — Leave a voice message with a question you’re living into: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.speakpipe.com/LivingTheQuestions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Book a 1:1 Conversation Session — Like your own personal episode, these sessions are a space to live your question through thoughtful conversation: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.ckoesterinspired.com/conversation-sessions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Rehumanizing YOU Coaching — This is a space for deep inquiry and integration, where your questions become the path. If you’re ready to untangle old patterns and step into a more aligned, embodied way of being, explore more here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.ckoesterinspired.com/rehumanizing-you⁠⁠Congruence Workshop -- a place to begin reconnecting: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://kyliemcbeath.myflodesk.com/congruence-evergreen⁠Resources:Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.ckoesterinspired.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Podcast IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/livingthequestionspodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Business IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/ckoesterinspired⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠1:1 Coaching Offerings: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.ckoesterinspired.com/rehumanizing-you⁠⁠Enjoyed the episode? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review! You can also connect with us on Instagram @livingthequestionspodcast or join our community group at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://livingthequestionspodcast.substack.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Things I Genuinely Love — Affiliate & Community Spotlights:✨ Disobedient Goods & Apparel: offers judgment-free sticker tools for self-guided practice, discovery, and mapping — designed to spark curiosity, connection, and a deeper understanding of the paths we walk. Explore the collection at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.disobedientgoods.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and use code LIVINGTHEQUESTIONS15 for 15% off your entire order.🤍 FOND Bone Broth: my personal FAVORITE for nourishing, gut-loving bone broth that’s as comforting as it is healing! Use code: COURTNEY-KOESTER for 10% off at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://fondbonebroth.com/COURTNEY-KOESTER⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠☕️ Living Tea: my go-to source for wild and organic Teas, along with amazing Tea education to deepen your practice! Use code: CKOESTERINSPIRED for 15% off at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.livingtea.net/courtney⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⭕️ Circle Community: A beautiful, all-in-one location for your community to gather, remain connected, attend workshops, join memberships, etc. Love an aesthetically pleasing and easy-to-organize digital community space. Explore more here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://try.circle.so/8amtv3uilqpo

How might we be reinforcing the very wound we’re trying to heal without even realizing it?In this episode, I’m reflecting on a deep realization that recently clicked into place for me: that some of our most painful beliefs may be reinforced not only by what we’ve lived through, but by the subtle, unconscious ways we continue abandoning ourselves. I explore what it means to get honest about the wounds that rise to the surface in tender moments, to listen to what we truly believe beneath logic, and to notice how our repeated choices may be communicating something powerful to our inner world.I talk about the connection between self-abandonment, feeling disposable, people-pleasing, perfectionism, and the quiet ways we may learn to place ourselves last without even realizing the deeper message that sends. I also reflect on what it means to build a more conscious, compassionate relationship with ourselves. One rooted not in cliché or bypass, but in curiosity, honesty, grace, and small brave choices over time.This is an episode about core wounds, self-worth, relationship, and the slow practice of returning to the parts of ourselves we may have left behind. If you’ve ever struggled to believe that you matter, I hope this conversation offers a place to get curious about what’s been reinforced, what’s ready to be understood differently, and what it might look like to begin offering yourself another way.Ready to take these conversations deeper?Share Your Voice — Leave a voice message with a question you’re living into: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.speakpipe.com/LivingTheQuestions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Book a 1:1 Conversation Session — Like your own personal episode, these sessions are a space to live your question through thoughtful conversation: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.ckoesterinspired.com/conversation-sessions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Rehumanizing YOU Coaching — This is a space for deep inquiry and integration, where your questions become the path. If you’re ready to untangle old patterns and step into a more aligned, embodied way of being, explore more here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.ckoesterinspired.com/rehumanizing-you⁠⁠Congruence Workshop -- a place to begin reconnecting: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://kyliemcbeath.myflodesk.com/congruence-evergreen⁠Resources:Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.ckoesterinspired.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Podcast IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/livingthequestionspodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Business IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/ckoesterinspired⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠1:1 Coaching Offerings: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.ckoesterinspired.com/rehumanizing-you⁠⁠Enjoyed the episode? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review! You can also connect with us on Instagram @livingthequestionspodcast or join our community group at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://livingthequestionspodcast.substack.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Things I Genuinely Love — Affiliate & Community Spotlights:✨ Disobedient Goods & Apparel: offers judgment-free sticker tools for self-guided practice, discovery, and mapping — designed to spark curiosity, connection, and a deeper understanding of the paths we walk. Explore the collection at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.disobedientgoods.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and use code LIVINGTHEQUESTIONS15 for 15% off your entire order.🤍 FOND Bone Broth: my personal FAVORITE for nourishing, gut-loving bone broth that’s as comforting as it is healing! Use code: COURTNEY-KOESTER for 10% off at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://fondbonebroth.com/COURTNEY-KOESTER⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠☕️ Living Tea: my go-to source for wild and organic Teas, along with amazing Tea education to deepen your practice! Use code: CKOESTERINSPIRED for 15% off at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.livingtea.net/courtney⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⭕️ Circle Community: A beautiful, all-in-one location for your community to gather, remain connected, attend workshops, join memberships, etc. Love an aesthetically pleasing and easy-to-organize digital community space. Explore more here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://try.circle.so/8amtv3uilqpo

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How Am I Unknowingly Reinforcing the Very Wound I’m Trying to Heal?

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How long is this episode of Living the Questions with Courtney Koester?

This episode is 57 minutes long.

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This episode was published on April 2, 2026.

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How might we be reinforcing the very wound we’re trying to heal without even realizing it?In this episode, I’m reflecting on a deep realization that recently clicked into place for me: that some of our most painful beliefs may be reinforced not only...

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