EPISODE · Mar 21, 2026 · 21 MIN
How To Handle Holidays And Social Events With Someone Who Has An Addiction
from Recovery Decoded · host Recovery Decoded
She spent three hours making her grandmother's stuffing recipe. Then sat in her car for ten minutes because she did not know which version of her husband was going to show up.YOUR BRAIN AT EVENTS: Childress (University of Pennsylvania) — environmental cues trigger stress/craving circuits in 200 milliseconds. Before conscious thought. Biological Psychiatry: anticipatory anxiety is MORE intense than the event itself. Cortisol spikes higher the week BEFORE Thanksgiving than the day of.THREE-PHASE PLAN:BEFORE: Have the conversation 3+ days early. Exit strategy, signal word, support person, time limit. Written. "What do you need from me? Here is what I need from you." If your person is NOT in recovery — plan for yourself, not them.DURING: Three rules. (1) You are not the sobriety police. Name the hypervigilance. (2) Exit is always available and does not depend on them. (3) Hourly self check-in: "Am I here or am I monitoring?"AFTER: Cortisol takes 90+ minutes to clear after acute stress. Walk 15 min. Call your support person. Say out loud: "That was hard and I got through it." Verbal closure.SCRIPTS:→ Someone offers them a drink: "We are good with water tonight."→ "One drink won't kill you": "We appreciate you respecting our choices."→ Catching yourself monitoring: "I am not on duty. I trust the plan."→ Need to leave: "Taking care of myself is not abandoning the event."Your healing matters. You deserve it too.⚠️ DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not medical advice. If you or someone you know is in crisis, call 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline). For treatment referrals, call SAMHSA at 1-800-662-4357. For families: Al-Anon (al-anon.org), CRAFT resources (robertjmeyersphd.com), SMART Family & Friends (smartrecovery.org).
What this episode covers
She spent three hours making her grandmother's stuffing recipe. Then sat in her car for ten minutes because she did not know which version of her husband was going to show up.YOUR BRAIN AT EVENTS: Childress (University of Pennsylvania) — environmental cues trigger stress/craving circuits in 200 milliseconds. Before conscious thought. Biological Psychiatry: anticipatory anxiety is MORE intense than the event itself. Cortisol spikes higher the week BEFORE Thanksgiving than the day of.THREE-PHASE PLAN:BEFORE: Have the conversation 3+ days early. Exit strategy, signal word, support person, time limit. Written. "What do you need from me? Here is what I need from you." If your person is NOT in recovery — plan for yourself, not them.DURING: Three rules. (1) You are not the sobriety police. Name the hypervigilance. (2) Exit is always available and does not depend on them. (3) Hourly self check-in: "Am I here or am I monitoring?"AFTER: Cortisol takes 90+ minutes to clear after acute stress. Walk 15 min. Call your support person. Say out loud: "That was hard and I got through it." Verbal closure.SCRIPTS:→ Someone offers them a drink: "We are good with water tonight."→ "One drink won't kill you": "We appreciate you respecting our choices."→ Catching yourself monitoring: "I am not on duty. I trust the plan."→ Need to leave: "Taking care of myself is not abandoning the event."Your healing matters. You deserve it too.⚠️ DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not medical advice. If you or someone you know is in crisis, call 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline). For treatment referrals, call SAMHSA at 1-800-662-4357. For families: Al-Anon (al-anon.org), CRAFT resources (robertjmeyersphd.com), SMART Family & Friends (smartrecovery.org).
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How To Handle Holidays And Social Events With Someone Who Has An Addiction
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