I Told My Boyfriend I Don't Want a Ring, I Want a House Instead!

brought to you by the every dollar app start budgeting for free today y'all are absolutely gonna hate me whenever i tell you what i want to be doing no that's a strong word hate is who's wrong um i am a realtor investor here in texas and i have a long-term boyfriend and i we were buying a house together and i told him i didn't want to ring i wanted a house instead we've both been married previously and we're coming in together obviously we're very dave ramsey friendly and we know it um but he's carrying quite a little bit more debt than i am i am credit card free he is as well however we i'm just trying to figure out how i want to tackle his debt when we buy the house after we buy the house okay it's not i don't even you know what i'm gonna sit back for a second i'm gonna let you go first i would just say for the people who are listening for the first time because you said that you were ramsey friendly and then you went off to say things of such nature you're laughing the whole time and you know you know what she's about to say right i know why are you laughing about it oh because honestly because of the market that we are in and the real estate the way it's going it would just be too good to pass up this property to where obviously we would want to live in it for a little bit why don't you just buy it well i do i can buy it myself but i really want him to be on board with me and it's not bad debt like we are selling he has a camper that he was living in and working out of um so doing like insurance adjustment across the u.s so that's really the only one that's a major one the other one is just a minor amount maybe it's not about the debt for me for me the debt is part of the home buying equation don't get me wrong but in the bigger picture of what you're talking about if i'm going to address these things uh by thing that's most on fire to thing that's not as burning as quickly i would say the first thing is the idea of buying a house with a boyfriend is a very very risky business because it's you're doing something that should be very long term with someone that you can't you really don't know if it's going to be long term and if because of the nature of the mingling of money it can get really really messy and if it doesn't have to be messy the easier thing to do would just be like hey i'm gonna buy this house or he's gonna buy this house and then if you so choose that you're gonna live together in that way that's your choice but at least the monies are clear and free and that is not adding um any insult to injury if this were to go south and not proceed okay hayley that's about as good a word as you're gonna get on that what is your response to that because i can hear you saying yes to her but you have a retort hey guys george here with an important heads up mortgage interest rates just dropped and that is great news if you've been holding off on house hunting or refinancing but it also means a lot of other people are about to jump back into the market and my good friends at churchill mortgage will give you a custom plan and a special offer so you can buy or refinance the smart way before the market shifts so go check it out by going to churchillmortgage.com slash ramseyoffer that's churchillmortgage.com slash ramseyoffer this is a paid advertisement nms id 1591 nms consumer access or equal housing lender so what is your report so basically with me being an investor so i do actually show with you know the banks don't love me but my cpa's do you know that always that joke it's so really with qualifying for this property you know he shows way more than income i mean it almost doubles what or triples what my income is okay pause pause what investing do you have you sound like you're over leveraged no i have 10 rentals um and so basically how much do you owe how much you owe on 10 rentals um i have three loans um totaling about 225 000 okay that's not as bad as i thought i thought it was gonna be worse okay here's the thing here's the thing i want to give you props because even though you may not have done some of these things the ramsey way the fact that you have 10 rentals and you only owe 225 unless these are just really crappy properties there's something that you've done that you've not gone ridiculously do you see what i'm saying like for 10 rentals can i would think that i thought for sure you're gonna save a million but why wouldn't you buy but why so what does that really mean because jay gave you great advice you buy it yourself why wouldn't you why wouldn't you you have 10 rentals because because i love like i am an investor at heart so no no that's a crappy answer you said that three times and still didn't what's the real reason and you said this let me tell you what you said so you said well yeah jay you're right but i want us to be on the same page i want him to be in it with me and i even think that's a cop out so well he shows more income so with our lender they basically could not i know what the answer is but you won't tell me you're trying to play a game on interest rate it's not that what is it i feel my lender basically qualified said that we would be qualified based on his income based off my right you're smart you know today that it's not a thing of numbers or interest rates anything like that because you know today hey if i really wanted this property i could just sell off one of the ones i have i could buy but you know that are you trying to lock him in yeah i told i turned down a ring for a mortgage no but okay do you know how crazy that sounds why don't you just go down to the courthouse you want this guy to be your husband or not yes okay well then why don't you let him give you the ring yeah that's true that's the problem tell us for real for real i have been independent for so long and so with my you know being divorced and having my son it's been it's definitely scary yeah but you just told us you just told us you want this guy to be your husband and you were willing to do a more here's what i want to frame up for you you said that you want to be independent and maybe you've been burned before all of those things do you understand and i can i'll validate for you that that makes sense to me that you would be you would have some trepidation getting into another relationship that makes sense what doesn't make sense is how you are solving it because you're creating something that has the ability to be even more dramatic even more work like even worse for everybody involved if it were to go south so why not fuel what you're feeling into a better solve which is i might not be ready to get married yet maybe i'm not great point that's okay if you're not ready to be married and jade's making a great point if it goes bad then there's going to be a legal very clear legal decision on what happens with the house as an asset but if you guys are going together and there's no legal marriage then it's a mess you know this yeah i don't think we can sell you on our philosophy but i think if we come to your page no i'm not trying to go on your philosophy which is you're independent so be independent and so be independent or then get legally married so that this risk that you're afraid of goes away in the sense of it's going to be clean if there is another divorce and nobody wants to think about it but that's your fear so let's go there so our position that you should be married in combined finances while it's coming from a different vantage point than you have it does meet you where your biggest fear is so take call this guy but i wish we could get him on the phone because i would make you tell him that you were foolish and that you will take the ring and with the ring comes an actual marriage and we're going to do our money together and we're going to dominate yeah we're going to heal from our past and we're going to come together and we're going to set out a vision for our life that we both are in lockstep on and then we're just going to do this thing how long have you been together uh over two years oh for heaven's sakes two years and where are you living now um so we do live part of the time we're pretty respectful of our kids so when he has his child and i have mine we kind of stay apart but when we don't we obviously are living with me but with him traveling so he's staying a lot more at my property which is one of my investments that i'm doing so this is exhausting and by the way the whole respect for the kids thing they know what's happening let's stop playing games let's get married all right ken i'm with you i'm with you i don't think she's ready that's my hot take of the day i think you're probably right i don't think she's ready you're always right create your free every dollar budget today the simplest way to budget for your life