If You Feel Behind in Life, Read This

For as long as I can remember, I never had a good answer to the question:“What do you want to be when you grow up?”Not because I lacked ambition.Not because I didn’t care….…but because there was no job title for what I felt called toward.What I wanted, though I didn’t have language for it yet, was influence.Not fame. Not authority. Influence in the truest sense: the ability to shape what continues and to make a damn difference. For a long time, I was really embarrassed by that answer. It sounded vague. Unrealistic. Imagine a 7 year old sharing that dream with you….So I tried to fit myself into the places where influence was supposed to live.Where I thought influence livedI started my career in Hollywood. I worked on TV shows, interned at major studios, and got an early education in how power actually works, when it’s disconnected from integrity.It didn’t take long to realize that this wasn’t my lane.There was influence there, yes—but it ALWAYS came at the cost of people.I learned what it feels like to be stepped over, used, and treated as expendable. I was young, in my early 20s, idealistic, and I got hurt.I didn’t leave because I wasn’t strong enough. (well maybe I was just a tad bit naive)I left because I was learning what kind of influence I didn’t want. Regina George’s are everywhere in HollywoodInfluence without a titleThat’s when I joined the Peace Corps and moved to Armenia.For three years, I worked with women (many of them mothers) helping them turn their skills into income through small handicraft businesses. There was no ladder to climb. No applause. No clear job description.And yet, it changed lives. Including mine.Looking back, that was the first time I felt aligned.I was helping people at the beginning of something…confidence, livelihood, possibility.I didn’t know it then, but a pattern was forming.I thought I was lostWhen I came back to the U.S., I felt lost again. I met my husband, Roger (after telling everyone I would NEVER marry an Armenian man, hahaha God has a sense of humor).My twenties were full of exploration: I did commercial modeling, tried my hand at door-to-door sales, I got my real estate license, coordinated 300+ weddings (ew), (the coordination part, not the love part), sold mirrors on Amazon, became a life coach, wrote my first book, got my first hater and balled my eyes out.Let’s just say…I have a lot of lived experience For a long time, I told myself a story that I was unfocused. That I hadn’t “found my thing.”Looking back and connecting the dots? I wasn’t lost.I was in an apprenticeship.The pattern reveals itselfEventually, Roger and I moved to Arizona and somehow found ourselves hosting intimate weddings at our vacation property in Sedona.After having a large wedding ourselves (beautiful, meaningful, but centered more on logistics and guests than us, honestly…) I became deeply interested in what actually matters at the start of a marriage.For five years, we witnessed couples at one of the most important thresholds of their lives. Not just getting married—but beginning a family system.And suddenly, everything clicked.I had always been working at the beginning.When it became personalPostpartum knocked it out of the park for me. I was hospitalized four times! Well, five if you count the time, the OBGYN lacerated my cervix during my surgery a month postpartum.Don’t worry, I got therapy. That shit was traumatic.(And if you are deep in it, I see you, I understand and I promise there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Especially if you get help)What I experienced forced me to confront something I had never fully looked at before: Unhealed family/generational trauma. And how unhealed family patterns don’t disappear—they get passed down.For the first time, influence wasn’t abstract.It was my daughter.It became painfully clear that how we navigate beginnings—marriage, home, parenthood, boundaries—shapes what continues long after us.Where we are nowThis is why our work today lives where it does.Roger helps a lot of couples buy their first homes.I help a lot of couples start their marriage.And more recently we’re focused on helping families move through life’s thresholds consciously—with awareness, intention, and honesty.If you’re ready to buy a home and think about legacy beyond a mortgage, call Roger.If you want to begin a marriage—or renew your vows—differently, that door is here.And if you’re just trying to figure out family dynamics, boundaries, and how not to lose yourself in the process…start with our 5-day series, We Love Our Family…But DamnWe made it for exactly that. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bykristenlee.substack.com