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Butler, sons and four guy, the boy Will Compton doing some FAQ-style questions, and Kevin Durant just submitted his legacy. We have some recap from the NBA games, Hot Seat, Cool Throne, a pack-pack show. Let's get right to it. Brought to you by our friends.
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Okay, let's go. Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by New Amsterdam Vodka. Go check out the new New Amsterdam Vodka Summer co-branded bottle, co-branded label. Check it out right now, it's out there.
Today is Wednesday, June 16th, and in my humble opinion, as a sports analyst, I am deeming Kevin Durant's legacy is a very good basketball player, cemented. That's big of you, but what happens, Big Cat, if they lose the next two games? At that point, this could be a legacy series. Yeah, so that's the beauty of the legacy game, it just keeps going.
So it's a rollover minute, we've got legacy games next game. I think this is an indictment of the Gen Z culture, everything is in 15 second soundbites, you rush to judge everything. This was never a legacy game, this has always been a legacy series. Going up against Giannis, I would say it's a legacy playoff.
It's a legacy year for KD, because he's coming back from an injury he's got. Big Cat, we were told at the start of the season, Big Cat, we were told on last week's part of my take by ourselves, that the Nets would not lose another playoff. So really, this is a legacy year for him, it's really, it's championship robust. I actually think, now that I'm saying that loud, I think it is a legacy decade.
Because think about it, the first decade in the pros, he came in before 2010, but that 2010 to 2020, or 2019, however you do decades, I don't know how to do decades, that was him cementing himself as, okay, you're a top 50 player of all time. Now, you know, a top 25 player of all time. Now, this decade, sky's the limit. This is where his legacy is made, and it started tonight.
My favorite fun thing to do with being dishonest with stats is to play the decade game, which is to say, like, now, Kevin Durant has scored 30 points in a game in three separate decades. Yes. And it makes it sound like he's 60 years old. Yes, I like that.
It's just like 11 or 12 years. He's probably the greatest player, if you look at the totality of it, he probably averages out to be the best player in three separate decades, in certain statistical categories. But yeah, shout out KD. I have a quote for you.
Okay, you ready for this? You can tell me who wrote this. If you're waiting for the KD game, it ain't happening. Durant has never imposed his will, ever.
LeBron, Steph, and Russ can impose their will on a team. There's also nothing, quote, quotes, Brooklyn, about his game. I'm going to go with Russell Westbrook. Mm-mm.
Oh, see, fuck. Yeah. Nothing, what is Brooklyn? Nothing Brooklyn about his game.
Nothing Brooklyn about. What is Brooklyn? Who do you think is the most Brooklyn NBA player? I would actually say it's probably like a hipster, like Joe West.
This is a very Brooklyn game on Joe West. Listen, all I'm going to say is, thank God Joe West is a recurring, or Joe Harris is a goal. You just said Joe West. Joe Harris is a recurring guest.
Otherwise, I'd be forced to say he forgot how to shoot a basketball. Yeah, Joe Harris, tonight. He's playing like Joe West. He absorbed James Harden's Game 7 energy tonight.
You know what? Instead of talking about James Harden, who also had a legacy game tonight, too. He's thunk. I hope he's injured, because he had five points.
He proved that he could go out there and play while he was injured. Yeah. Joe Harris, we need to ask, is Joe Harris healthy? Yeah.
Because this was a decidedly un-Joe Harris-like performance. I actually think Harden did, like, him being out there actually helped, because he did have a bunch of assists, and he played well, like, defensively when they needed him to. He obviously can't shoot right now. Like, he had no legs in his shot.
I just would like to pretend that he's fully healthy, so that, because there's nothing more fun than when James Harden no-shows a playoff game. So let's just, you know, in 10 years, we can look back and be like, wait, he went one for 10 and over eight for three points? We'll totally forget the context of the game entirely. In fact, he had, like, a pulled hamstring.
And you could actually see the lack of explosiveness when he was trying to jump into fouls. He didn't have the same, like, lateral movement where he could, like, jump four feet to the side, hit somebody, and then shoot a shot. It actually surprisingly affected his game that way, but he wasn't comfortable he was missing everything short. It was also, legacy-wise, a Jeff Green game.
Yeah. Because Jeff Green cemented his legacy as being a guy that always shows up every single year in the playoffs for a different team and has one good game. Seven for eight from three. He was awesome.
The only three he missed was he was just two open, which can happen. He started seven for seven from three. But let's talk about Durant real quick, because the Durant three, so Durant ends up with 49, 17, and 10. If you don't think that that is just an insane, like, put the team on my back, they need every point, every rebound, every assist from me.
It was incredible. And that shot, that three that he made to basically win the game, and that look he gave where he was like, ooh, I am so fucking good at basketball, that has to be an all-time feeling. Like, you could see it in his face. He said visibly, ooh, I am so fucking good at basketball.
Was that on the play where James Harden took the shot clock down for, like, two seconds and then passed to Durant? Yeah, yeah. James Harden, he was just, James Harden, when he saw the shot clock, and he did the mental math and said, he's like, I think my hamstring is 25 seconds away from feeling okay. Let's see if I can get in shape by the end of this one possession.
It didn't happen, put Durant in the shitter with a bad pass, and then Durant kind of off balance hit it, and it's like, there's nothing that you can do at that point, unless maybe you're Mike Buddenholz, or Budden, just say Buds, Michael, sorry, he goes by Michael Buds, who got thoroughly outcoached by whoever happens to be coaching the net tonight, I don't know if it's Steve Nash or not, but at some point, when Kevin Durant is going off, you have to try something different. I don't know if you try something that you think is going to work or not, but nothing is going to work any less than what you've been doing for the entire game. I think CJ said, CJ Michael, did he say that, like, put Giannis on him for a second, see what happens. Yeah, I mean, when he's like that, though, he, I mean, you know, Kevin Durant, when he's on fire, and he wants to do what he did tonight, he basically has, like, an unstoppable game, because he's so fucking tall, he elevates above everyone, he can get a shot off at any point, like, it's just, it was a joy to watch.
Imagine how tall he'd be if he could grow hair, another inch and a half. Or if he just was honest about it, or if he stood up straight. Yeah, I'd better pass it. Yeah, right.
The Slim Reaper's back, we need to run the Slim Reaper. I was actually going to say, I think tonight, I only saw Easy Money Sniper references. I have not seen a Servant reference, I think the Servant's dead. Servant is dead.
The Slim Reaper is back. That was a Slim Reaper game. Durantula, I'm cool with that. It did feel, though, I mean, like, the Nets needed to win this game, I know that sounds crazy, because now they're up 3-2, but when they came all the way back, and they were up with, like, three or four minutes left by a point or two, it felt like, alright, the Nets win this game, it's most likely going 7, because I don't know, I mean, maybe Durant can do this again in Game 6, on the road, I guess.
Well, that's the thing, it took this type of performance to win this game, and they sucked in the first quarter, they were really, really bad, and for a lot of the first half, so, well, yeah, Magic Johnson will point out to you that games 3 and 5, I think he's the first person I've ever heard say that, are the most important games in a seven-game series, and they are up 3-2, so they have a couple chances to close it out, like, I'm not, as a Nets fan, long time, who definitely did not call them frauds tonight, several times, I'm concerned, I'm concerned about the Nets' ability to close out. I feel bad for Bruce Brown, we're a Bruce Brown podcast, he got pulled pretty quickly in the start of the game, I was like, oh shit, he can't, we need someone else, and Jeff Green saved him, and, you know, if you're Milwaukee, obviously this game was, you should have won this game, like, you should have found a way to win and it was right there in the third quarter, and then Kevin Durant was able to do what he does, and it's just awesome, it was just an awesome game, we stay here late, and sometimes it sucks, tonight was one of those nights where it was awesome, because it was like, this game was fully worth it, that was great theater, and Kevin Durant's legacy. It was life-affirming basketball, we need to give a little bit of credit to maybe an unheralded hero on the Nets, and that's the whammy guy underneath the basketball, the whammy guy, the old guy, who put the whammy on anyone that was shooting foul shot, if the kids out there don't know what the whammy is, the whammy is, it's a force, you just, you hold your hands out, and you start wiggling your fingers, you put a curse on the other guy, the whammy's undefeated, especially if it's an old person doing it. Yeah, yeah, I think, by the way, Giannis, who, he wasn't like bad tonight, he had 34, he shot well, and, you know, like, I do think the Bucs are going to win game six, I think he's going to go seven.
I think Giannis, at this point, should try free throws one-handed, or go fast pitch, the minute he gets the ball, just throw it up there. So we were timing him, and towards the end of the game, I think he got to the line three times, and two of those three times, he was over the 10-second limit, one of the times was 11.5, what do you think the grace period is? Because you can't blow the whistle as they're in the act of shooting, right? Although, I guess, you should be able to, because it's 10-second rule, it's not a 10.7-second, and if Giannis is shooting the ball, then you call the violation, it's a 10-second rule, he's a serial violator of the 10-second rule, I'm going to be using stopwatch every time he's on the line, I'm just going to keep stats, how often does he cheat at the foul line?
I like it, alright, other games, let's talk about him real quick, Kawhi is incredible, Paul George's playoff, he has shown up, that series goes to 2-2, did you see that Kawhi dunk? Yeah, it was insane. Kawhi's, I think it's because he never feels like he's moving super fast, we talked about that I think last week, but his arms are so long, and his hands are so big, he was so far from the hoop when he dunked that, but he just can reach over everyone. Yeah, that dunk was, it's surprising when you see Kawhi do it, because he doesn't show any motion ever, so anytime he acts with aggression on a basketball court, you're like, holy shit, where'd that come from?
It was violent, but it was sweet, it was violent poetry. But it wasn't, the cool factor of that dunk, was when you usually see a poster, like a big dunk, it's a nice pass, and a guy getting an open look, and then a help defender moving over, you know what I mean? And it's a wind-up, and it's a nice little sprint head start, Kawhi just, he just fucking yammed on that guy. You know what the difference is between a good dunk and a great dunk?
The difference is, and this is why LeBron James is not a great dunker, in my opinion, you have to hang on to the rim for just like a split second, you gotta make the rim move. You have to make it seem like the rim might come off. Yeah, and so when LeBron does his, like, you know, he'll do like the rock in the cradle, then go over his head, do like a 180 dunk, and yeah, sure, I guess in theory it's something I couldn't do, maybe if I practiced for a while I could, but he doesn't even, like, grab the rim at all, he just, like, he barely touches it, sometimes he acts like the rim is like a hot oven rack, he just, like, taps it and pulls his hand away, Kawhi grabbed it and pulled it down for a second, and that makes all the difference. It's the snapback sound, the spread is incredible.
What did you think, Jake, your guy, your guy's dad, Ian Eagle, what was the, hold on, I'm gonna pull up the dunk. Kawhi Light, it was the Kawhi Light. It was the Kawhi Light. It was the Kawhi Light.
It's amazing. The Kawhi Light? Yeah, I didn't mind it, honestly. The Kawhi Light?
It's amazing. Okay, you think that was amazing? Yeah. Okay, great, no, I wanted your take on it.
The Major Kawhi Light. The only problem I had with that dunk is it happened in the flow of play, and there was another whistle for about two minutes of game time after that, and I kept waiting to see the replay, because I was like, I think I just saw one of the best dunks of all time, but I can't be sure, and it took so long to get the replay, there should be a timeout that the television overlords should be able to, like, buzz one of the referees and force them to make a bullshit call, or, like, a media timeout. Yeah. It should be a highlight timeout, a Kawhi Light timeout, in case anything like that happens, because I didn't think, imagine, imagine, big guy, what if something even crazier than that had happened right after, that dunk would have been lost to the ages.
Yeah, well, Kawhi Light. Sorry, Kawhi Light. That was, oh, man, that was awesome. All right, other series.
I like, I love watching Joel Embiid play. I don't like that Joel Embiid feels like he's, like, always going to die on the court, because he's not a guess. That was tough, and I know he's injured as well, but that felt like a very winnable game for the Sixers. I was a flop artist, too, so there's no one to, like, he just, like, he has a floor routine.
The Olympics, he's got a nice floor routine, but that felt like a very winnable game, and I think the Sixers will kill them tonight, which I know, I felt, I think, I know what you've been going through, Philadelphia Twitter, I feared for my life. That's crazy. All because I said they were very, very good, and then they all said I jinxed them. So, but I do think they're going to win tonight, and, but that one felt very winnable.
God forbid, if you say anything around Philadelphia, they're going to come at you. They're going to be confetti. The Sixers are good. These things are considered, like, sins.
I actually like the Sixers. Like, I like Joel Embiid when he's on and not out of breath, and going 0 for 12. If he was your star player and he missed a wide open layup at the end of the game, you would be furious. Yeah, no, the 0 for 12 was a tough thing to come back from the second half.
It was eerily reminiscent of the Patrick Ewing missed layup. Yeah, it's just, I mean, let's see what happens tonight. Maybe he caught his breath. I think the problem with Joel Embiid is, he's going to be dead.
He has no shot at making it to the finals. He's just so freakishly big and athletic that there's something wrong with him. And so the human body was not meant to do the things that he's able to do. It's like, in Jurassic Park, you were so preoccupied with thinking if you could, you didn't stop to think whether or not you should.
And with Joel Embiid, he's able to do these crazy things. But he's also, how tall is he? Like, 7'2"? 7'.
He's massive. 7'3". He's a big dude, and he moves so incredibly well, and he can jump so well. But, like, the human body, at some point, is just going to go, dude, chill out, like, sit down, play some video games for a while.
And then Ben Simmons, no one's really talking about the fact that he also choked at the line again. He's a pimp rep candidate. He is a guy that could absolutely deal with maybe learning the underhanded foul shot. Yeah.
Do you think Giannis, sorry to go back to that book, do you think he's going to change his routine this summer? He has to. He has to go fast. He has to go fast.
Like, the last thing you want to do, and I do think that for Simmons and Giannis, obviously they're not great shooters regardless, but I do think it's a lot mental. And they just have to change something that they do, some routine that they do, to change up the mental aspect of it. Like, if I were to be honest, the minute I got past the ball, I just fucking shoot it right away. Well, what about this?
What's the rule in terms of foul shot? You're not allowed to step. Your foot can't land on the line or over. You can step back.
No, I'm saying, like, when they're calling a violation in front of you. Oh. It's where, if your foot lands before the ball goes into the hoop or hits the backboard or the rim or whatever, right? No, I think if you step back away from the line, you can do it as a jump shot.
So that's what I'm saying. You could, in theory, have him take a couple steps back, sprint towards the basket. Oh, and dunk it? Almost dunk it.
I don't know if you're allowed to touch the rim. Probably not. Can you jump, lay the ball in, and if it goes into the basket before you land? I don't think so.
I think that you can because it's when the foot lands. I don't think you can go past the line, though, with the ball in your hand. Jake, can you look that up? There's no what?
Yeah. In the air. In the air. The ball would be in your hand across the line.
Do you think you're the first person to think of this? No, but if you have really long arms and you just stand flat-footed and lean over, I'm sure that when they're doing pimp grip, the other hand is shot. Why would you? You're saying jump in the air.
Yeah. But he's been holding the ball over the line. But I think it's only if your feet touch the ground. I think you have to be behind the line when you release the ball.
I think so. I'm just making that up. That's not good. I mean, that does sound right.
So you can't release the ball in front of the line. Also, Trae Young needs a shout-out because he was terrible shooting and he made up for it by being incredible with assists. So, no, I mean, it was, like, that's the mark of a really good player when they don't have their A game shooting the ball and they find another way to basically take over the game. And that's kind of what he did.
Do you have it for us? The shooter shall be above the free throw line within the upper half of the free throw. He shall attempt the free throw within 10 seconds of controlling the ball in such a way that the ball enters the back into the ring. The first thing you just said was what it is.
You have to be in that area. No, but you would have the ball. Yeah, but you would be in mid-air. The attempt starts when the ball is released, not when you jump.
It's part of the act of shooting. I think there's shooting. But, like, if a shot clock violation, if you jump but you still have the ball in the air, that's a shot clock. But that's a question about time, not a question about space.
Sorry to interrupt this riveting conversation, but we've got to take quick. Reggie Miller just prompted this on Twitter. Threw this out there to the people on the bird. I'm just going to throw this out there to see what the response will be.
If you're Steve Nash in the Nets, would you sit James Harden and Kevin Durant in Game 6 because of the heavy minutes tonight and push all of your chips to the center of paper for games? No. James Harden, maybe. Maybe James Harden.
I like where Reggie says that, though. But why would you just... Like, what? Just not try.
What? You never play the game. You don't know what it's like. Yeah, I never play the game.
I know you've got to play the game. I just Googled it. Can you dunk from the free throw line? It says, no, you cannot dunk from the free throw line.
Maybe you. A rule's in place for bidding you to cross the free throw line until the basket hits the rim. What website is that? Sounds like a bleacher report.
You're acting like there's people whose entire job to think about basketball. There's so many tall basketball players that suck at free throws. So this is not something that's like you just came up with. Okay, how about this, big cat?
Can you lay up from the free throw line? Yes. It's where you jump from. Players end up inside the three-point line all the time when they shoot and it still counts on the free.
Rule number one. Rule number nine. The free throw shooter may not step over the plane of the free throw line until the ball touches the basket ring, backboard, or what? That's not necessarily like a live ball.
What do you mean? Not about the time violation. The ball, you can't cross the free throw line until the ball touches the basket ring. Right.
Right. So that means you can't jump Okay. Okay. You know what?
This sounds like a question for the NBA Reddit community that asks those questions like can you just surround Steph Curry with all his players holding hands. Great. There's rumors that Will Chamberlain dunked free throws. There's no actual footage of Will dunking from the free throw line.
I think you run into trouble if you touch the backboard or the rim or any of the apparatuses. I think the move would be to take a couple steps. You cannot do this. There's no way.
You aren't just... I just like that you think no one's ever thought of this. No one has. I've never heard anybody ever discuss it.
Certainly not because it's a stupid topic. All right. Can you legally dunk a free throw No, I'm an advocate for laying the ball into the basket before you hit the ground. But it pretty much says that you can't do that.
You can't cross the line. You're just saying air doesn't count. Air doesn't count, man. Airspace does not count in basketball.
It's where your foot is. Parallax effect? It could be. This also sounds like it would be harder for Giannis to basically jump.
He has to get the ball to hit the rim before he lands. Yeah. Every time. It's almost physically impossible to do but it's not impossible.
Okay, we need a rules official to hit us up. Jake, you got anything else? You just got the rules. You probably got the rules.
You got the rules. You got the rule book. I'm pretty sure it feels like illegal. Either way, it's only illegal until it might be one of those things where it's illegal until someone's stupid enough to try it.
Google that. Has anyone tried it? Has anyone tried to jump across the free throw line for a free throw in a game? All right, anything else?
The Islanders, that series went 1-1. The Canadiens finally showed up to America, a place to play in front of some real fans and it was a rave. Vegas is all the way back. Let's do some hot sequel throw, yeah?
Yeah? Wait, what do you guys think? Real quick, do you think that the next box goes 7 or do you think 6? I think it goes 7.
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Hank, Hot Seed, Cool Throne. My Hot Seed is Guys Who Eat Pussy. Oh. Box munchers, yeah.
Oh. Cool Throne Jr. Sprout? Yeah, I feel like in the past 10, 20 years it's kind of been a rise to having a moment, if you will.
Eating pussy? Yeah, but Batman. So there's the Harley Quinn movie which is the girl and there is a scene where Batman was eating her pussy and DC shot it down. They're like, we can't have that.
He's a superhero. We can't, you know... Is this directed by troops? He said, you can't do that.
You absolutely cannot do that. Heroes don't do that. And they said, are you saying heroes are just selfish lovers? And they said, no.
We sell toys for heroes. It's hard to sell toys if Batman is also going down on someone. I disagree. I disagree.
Everyone wants to be a superhero. And if you want to be a superhero, you can eat pussy. No, it's like all the kids with all the dreams. Everyone loves Marvel, the Avengers, Batman.
All those kids are going to grow up not going down. Not eating pussy. Well, I also think that in the last couple of years it's been a moment for eating ass. I feel like ass eating has kind of overtaken eating box in our national discourse.
And so maybe, I bet you Batman would eat some ass. I don't like this move. I think Batman should let it be able to eat anything. I'd walk out of the theater.
Oh, really? Well, wait. Batman's not a superhero. He's just a rich guy.
Yeah, rich guys don't eat pussy. I agree with that. Ah, Michael Douglas. Yeah, that's true.
He had cancer because he ate so much poontang. The poontang of the millennium. That's only. That's true.
But yeah, I feel like a billionaire doesn't eat pussy. And that's what Batman is. He's just a billionaire with a belt. Bezos and then got divorced.
Yeah, good call. And Bill Gates. Bill Gates isn't going down on bitches. Nope.
Superman would eat the fuck out of a clit. Where's Bill Gates been? Has he gotten hot yet? I'm waiting to see him pop up just ripped.
I can't wait until Jeff Bezos leaves and he comes back and we all pretend not to know him. Michael Douglas is Girl Scout cookies. Nice transition. Thank you.
That's a box I would eat, Hank. Got him. You meant to do that. That's a five head transition.
I totally meant to do it. There's a huge shortage because of coronavirus. I know there's a huge there's 11 million bonus boxes that they didn't sell. Oh, so there's a surplus.
Surplus. This year there's going to be two for ones. Spin mints in the freezer, tagalongs, and Samoas. That's all you need.
So what they should do is they should just burn the overstock, right? Don't some companies do that? If they have a surplus they just destroy it so it doesn't devalue the rest. Big maple syrup.
I always respect, by the way, Loud Sean because I think his daughter's a Girl Scout and he never really took advantage of the fact that this entire office is full of fat stoners so he could have easily just taken advantage of us. He always hit me up for a decent amount but he knows deep down if he's like, hey, do you want 400 boxes? I'm like, yes, thank you. Let's go.
That's it. All right, good job. You took my hot seat with the pussy talk over there, Hank. That's fine, I'll adapt.
I'll evolve. My hot seat is the U.S. Open and more specifically their ratings for Thursday because they have declined to group Brooksy and Blake together. Wait, they didn't decline?
Brooksy did? Correct. Actually, no, Hank. That's fake news, Hank.
It's my understanding. You're saying our guy Barstle Banks was lying? Well, he merely saw a tweet and he reported the tweet. He talked to the agent.
He saw, no, the agent talked to, I don't think the agent talked to Banks. He blew up the blog. Maybe I'm wrong. I might be wrong.
I've been wrong before. Not about the prequel thing, but about other stuff. And I think that the word coming out, oh wait, so you're saying we should just blindly trust what Bryson DeChambeau's agent says about it. It's my understanding that they were both asked and that Bryson DeChambeau turned it down because he didn't want to turn it into, basically, Brooks was going to live rent-free in Brooksy's head.
And so he turned it down. By the way, that's a little life hack for all the kids out there. If you ever want to say something about sounding stupid about it, instead of saying, like, I heard or I thought, say it was my understanding that. So it's my understanding as a reporter that Bryson actively turned it down because he's a pussy and Batman wouldn't eat him.
The entire thing just proves the point that, like, it's good for golf because they clearly wanted this to happen. The US Open wanted it to happen. I mean, it led SportsCenter and, like, all these things. So Bramley, Chambly, and all these people who were like, oh, this is bad for golf.
Dude, people are going to watch because if you put them together, people would have tuned in on Thursday and Friday that normally wouldn't have tuned in. And you can say, oh, that's not the type of fan we're trying to attract. I think if you're not, if you're any sport besides the NFL, any fan's a good fan. Do you think that active, like, die-hard old-school golf fans, I'm talking 50s, 60s, would not tune in because Brooks and Bryson were playing together?
No. Because they thought it was, no, they'd still watch. You'd be gaining fans. Of course.
You'd be gaining massive amounts of media coverage. Which is money for everyone, including Bramley Chambly. So, way to hurt yourself, bro. Yeah, all those guys screaming, nice shot, Brooksie, yeah, Bryson, they pay your salary, Brooks, please.
Look at Mark Valberts getting a little, what a guy, what a class act. A career, a career well spent. A class act, Jake, and he got the jersey with the microphone. Wow.
And what's on the front? The ball gag? The front is just a brassiere. There's no front of the baby.
It's just bike marks. Lace, yeah. All right, your cool throne? My cool throne is the narrative that Alabama quarterbacks are bust in the NFL.
Oh. Because, Tua, they're varying media reports, but he threw approximately 300 interceptions in practice yesterday. And so now, it's a case of looking at the sidelines and seeing, do you know who the backup is? The backup.
Josh Rosen. Yeah, maybe. Jacoby Brissette. And Jacoby Brissette, he's the ultimate guy where you look on the sidelines and you're like, maybe he's good for a few starts.
He's not going to look good in that uniform. I'm just going to say that out loud right now. But what we're seeing here is because he had that one bad game at the start of minicamp or whatever they're calling this set of workouts, there's going to be reporters that fire up a tweet every single time he throws an interception in training camp. Everyone is going to be done with it.
It's going to be like, of course, it's already three-year in Cleveland where they're reporting on the various barnyard animals and he's accidentally hitting with throws over a fence. That's what happens. So it's going to snowball and then that's going to feed right back into the Alabama quarterbacks who can't play. And as just a fan of narratives in general, I'm here for it very much.
Hank, is Mac Jones wearing 50 as a joke? I guess it's a thing. It's like an earn your number thing. Every time I see it, I'm like, what's going on here?
Okay, that makes sense. I thought it was like, how many DUIs have you had? 50. What is it?
Mac and cheese. Oh, damn. This is Mac? Where's the cheese?
Well, Mac and cheese is a food. But where's the cheese with Mac Jones? Mac and cheese is a food. Mac and cheese is a food.
Okay. All right, my hot seat is MLB. They've done it again. The spider attack controversy that they knew about forever and decided, hey, we're going to now start punching people.
They went zero tolerance policy, eliminated all substances, and now Tyler Glasnow, incredible pitcher for the Tampa Bay Rays, is basically saying he got injured because of it because he went from being able to use a bunch of different stuff, including sunscreen, which I guess is, I think you'd always use sunscreen. Sunscreen and rosin. It's a mixture, yeah, when you combine them together. But he is blaming his UCL injury on this, which might be a reach, but I also could kind of see that if you just completely change how you throw a baseball in the middle of the season, you might overextend and try to do things that you're not comfortable with.
So good job, that will be, you really fucking did it again, you idiots. They're finding a great way to stay relevant in the middle of the season, which is, it's very much majorly baseball to have everybody focus on the sport for something that is, we're really just talking about how badly they've mismanaged something about the sport. It's been pretty bad. So they're saying like, you're allowed to still, you can use sunscreen during day games.
You can't combine it. You can't use sunscreen if you're playing a game indoors with roof clothes, which I guess I understand that one. That kind of makes sense. But they're saying like, if it's an evening game, if you're in a transition period where the sun's going down, try to get all the sunscreen off your body before it gets totally dark out there.
That's going to be just a treat to watch umpires try to police that. So I don't know what they're going to do. They're just going to make them show their hands every time they go out. So stupid.
Go out and rub the back of their arms. So stupid. All I know is that if I were the Yankees, the Yankees are looking for a reason to fire Aaron Boone at this point. If I'm the Yankees ownership, I'd be like, oh yeah, we're going to fire Aaron Boone because he was the one that was in charge of teaching our players all the cheating, so now he's out and they can hire whoever it is they want to hire.
But it's just a good way to have a scapegoat. If you've got somebody you want to fire, tie it into this narrative. It's just so stupid. That movie is so fucking stupid.
They're just so goddamn stupid. They've known about this forever and then it became a story because they ignore it and then when it becomes a story they basically go swing the pendulum as far the other way. It's just so, so dumb. Just wait until the offseason Trevor Bowers said this, but it's like you just just deal with it for the season and wait until the offseason and have drastic changes but just do this and be like, alright, Monday you can do this, Wednesday, if you do this you're suspended.
Right, yeah, but Trevor Bowers take what Trevor Bowers said, maybe you guys should wait until I'm a free agent again to start policing this. But it's so stupid to do this like in the middle of the season like to go from maybe just say no spider attack. You know, the sunscreen, the rods and all this other shit find a different way. I mean, guys doctor their bats and their grips and shit.
It's just so dumb. I think they're just pissed because, you know, I think home runs are down, right Jake? Home runs might be down so they're like, hey, we've got to figure out a way to get home runs back because they had to juice baseball and they had to unjuice the baseball and it'll be just so dumb and incompetent and they always get in their own way. They're responding to the controversy of like too many no hitters and a big reason for that is because they did change the baseball.
So they're kind of in two different ways responding to their own fuck-ups. They're so stupid. All right, my cool to run is Andy Dalton, he's QB1. Matt Nagy, wow, way to go, dude.
Only the Bears. Only Matt Nagy would name his QB1 before he even had training camp. He said he can't envision a scenario in which Justin Fields would start. I'm actually okay with Justin Fields not starting week one.
What I'm not okay with is being like there's no competition. How do you, every like successful football team ever basically is like, yeah, it's always a competition. The best guy, like, you know, iron sharpens iron. You think Belichick would be like, oh yeah, there's 0% chance that Mac Jones could ever beat out Cam Newton.
He probably came to QV1 right now, but if Mac Jones killed Cam Newton and Cam, he'd play the best guy. Yeah, it also shows a real lack of creativity on Matt Nagy's part to not even be able to think of a scenario where he might start. Yeah, how about Andy Dalton gets hit by a bus? No, I don't want to do it.
I actually like Andy Dalton. But what does that happen? Kyle Shanahan can envision seven different scenarios in which Jimmy Garoppolo won't be alive tomorrow. Matt Nagy can't even think of one where his ticker's going to give out before September, what, 10th?
Fucking idiot. All right, Jake, quickly. Hot seat is Mullet. Gardner Minshew cut his off.
No, but Dana Blowjob still has his, King of Blowjobs. If anyone's looking for one, Dana Beers, he's now transitioned to being King of Blowjobs. You think Wonder Woman gives head? Yeah.
Misogyny is just off the charts. We're at DC. Cool Thrones Madden codes. We're getting a cover of two goats.
That's all they said on a Thursday, tomorrow. They're announcing two goats. Quickly, quickly. Are you going to say what, your idea?
That John Madden should be on the cover. Because he wants to kill John Madden. No, no, I actually said he. No, we should go visit him.
I know, he wants to kill him. He's trying to kill John Madden. Put John Madden back on the cover of Madden. So who do we think is going to be?
Tom Brady and... Oh, did you see, by the way, Aaron Rodgers saying, I'm offended? But I think that people were linking it to the GM saying he's a complicated fella, which pretty much means he's a dick. You don't say someone's a complicated...
If you ask, hey, how's that guy? Is he cool? Well, he's complicated. He's got a great personality.
That is the nicest way to say he's an asshole. And again, I want Aaron Rodgers to be happy, so I'm not saying he's an asshole. But other people are. Your GM is calling you an asshole.
Just think about that. Your GM called you an asshole. All right, let's get to our interviews. We've got Jay Cutler, Sons and Four guy, Will Compton to end the show.
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It is Jay Cutler, my quarterback, from the Bahamas? From the Bahamas. Let me see. A little Caribbean vacation.
Ooh, look at that. That's a little bed. That is beautiful. You got a balcony bed out there?
Yeah, a little balcony bed, a little hot tub. It's nice. Okay, hair's looking good. We got you on.
We're going to talk whatever. We're going to shoot the shit. We also got to talk a little Father's Day. You've got Cuts, the new, you're doing a new, I mean, I guess it's a line.
It's a line of meat. Yeah, it's a line of meat. With Pat Lafrides, and you sent us some. Delicious.
So what's the deal? How can people do it, and what are they looking for for Father's Day? Yeah, thank you. So Father's Day is coming up.
You're a father, so you know the importance of the day, not a thing for Mother's Day. Cuts, you can log in on the website Cuts via jaympat.com, and we've got a new box, a subscription box. We've got one month, three months, and six months, and we're doing a gift box on Father's Day with a 40-ounce tomahawk in there. You're going to get some steaks, you're going to get some hot dogs, you're going to get all this stuff.
So I've been lucky, really lucky to team up with Pat and him and his group. Yeah, we have tomahawk. I cooked the tomahawk the other day. Can they get people out there to order the tomahawk that's got the engraved name in the bone?
That was so special for you. It was nice, thank you. I don't think I can eat another animal that doesn't have my name laser cut into it. All right, that's pretty cool.
The Father's Day one has number one dad engraved in it, so we're doing that. Hopefully, I said this last year, like, I think it's bullshit that everyone gets number one dad. Like, rank me appropriately. What do you think you land?
I'm like somewhere, I don't know if you did every, how many dads are there in the world? I mean, let's just, 150, I don't know. I'd say I'm in the top 20% of dads. Top 20%.
That's cool. Top 20% of dads. Yeah. Why?
I don't know. I think I do a pretty good job. I'm not saying I'm top 10%. You have a pretty good job.
That's, like, top 40%. Top 20% is elite. What do you think? I don't know.
I feel like it's easier than you think to be in the top 10%. Ooh, okay. Just, yeah, like, be around a lot? Be around, be attentive, you know, don't hit them.
I mean, there's, I feel like there's, I feel like there's, unfortunately, some absent dads out there. Those guys are getting, like, number one dad engraved Tomahawks and it's not fair. Right. I'd put you top 10%.
Ooh. If you're an absent dad, sometimes that's better than being there and being a shitty dad. If you're, yeah, right, right. If you were, yeah, that's true.
Less is more. Addition by distraction. I just wish they would rank us. Like, I wish we would get a power rank.
That's what they should do for Father's Day. They should just have a selection show and rank all the dads. Like, not everyone gets number one. I think The Rock probably gets number one.
Well, yeah, if you were to see dads, like, who are the four number one seeds of dads? I think The Rock is up there. The Williams dad? No, he's bad.
The Williams? No, he's a helicopter dad. Yeah, but they won multiple majors. That's true.
That's true. Why is Rock won? I don't know. Oh, he's just fucking always posting.
He's got his little, I think it's just the, I think it's the, like, how big of a human being he is and then he has, like, a tiny little daughter. So he, it's almost like a Disney movie come to life. Well, yeah, all of his movies. I love The Rock, but I mean, I'll play Devil's Advocacy.
Maybe he's compensating because he's gone so much and he's just posting stuff, you know? Uh-huh. Yeah, so if you had to go by that, then I would say probably the best dad in the world is someone we never hear from. Yeah, ever, probably.
What about Mr. Long? What about Howie Long? Yes, Howie Long.
I mean, Chris and Kyle and Howie Jr. Howie Jr. Like, you have to do something right. Yes, yes, and you're just, yeah, they all don't hate you.
That's, you get a lot of credit for that. All right, so Father's Day, we got on a little tangent there. I was thinking about this. Vanderbilt, they just hired a new coach.
Did they reach out? About coaching them? Yeah. No, I talked to them briefly.
And then, I don't know who's on the committee that picks the coach, I have no idea. I talked to the AD once and then they kind of just didn't contact me anymore. So I don't know, I don't know what happened. Wait, so that sounds like they did reach out or did you reach out?
No, no, no, they reached out just to get my opinion, like, you know, who I thought, what they needed. Not for me to actually coach. I would never coach there. But, oh, you'd coach somewhere else then?
No, I'd never coach there. Interesting. That's a shitty profession. Yeah, it is.
It honestly seems miserable. It has to be miserable. Even if you're the greatest at your job and you're winning national championships, you're allowed to be happy for about 30 minutes and then it's back to miserable. Yeah, and I feel like your bad ranking just plummets when you're going to coach.
Yes, for sure. Big time. Although, you let your kids run on the field after the game. True.
They get swag, they get cool stuff. They just never see you. They just never see you. Right, right.