All right, so we're here, are we, what are we, cold open? Did you say bowl open? Yeah, I said bowl open. Oh, you're trying to do like a shameless post thing about the Hollywood Bowl, that we're going to be at the Hollywood Bowl?
On November 15th, yeah. On November 15th? Oh, you think that I'm going to sit here and do a cold open that's just a shameless plug of Smartless Live at the Hollywood Bowl on November 15th? Sean, get a grip.
I'm not going to do it. Tickets are on sale now. You want me to say that? You want me to say smartless.com slash live?
You want me to say that? Well, no, I didn't want to, I wasn't saying you should say anything. No, I'm saying it's gross. It's gross.
So then I'm sitting here and I'm going, Smartless Live at the Hollywood Bowl November 15th, you know, tickets are on sale now at smartless.com slash live. Gross, dude. Gross. I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry. Okay, just don't insult me again, Smartless Live November 15th. Let's go to the show. Also welcome to Smartless.
Yeah, obviously. Smartless. Smartless. Smartless.
Oh, Willie, where are you? Is this a show in New York City? It's my new place in New York, yeah. Do you love it?
What do you mean? You got a place? Yeah. Oh, that's amazing.
Yeah. Where are you? Are you doing press? Really for your movie?
No, no, I'm just, not yet. I'm about to, but I'm just getting sort of sorted here in my place. Sure, but you might be seeing a friend. Oh, look, he's got a dollar bill.
Oh, he's got a dollar bill. He likes to be as close to Atlantic City as possible without going. Wait, how are you? How is everybody doing?
I haven't seen each other in like two weeks. I know, I don't like it. I saw J.B. last week a couple times.
We played golf and then we went to an event. We did a little charity work. Oh, yeah, Will did some emceeing of a very special charity event, the Yes Charity. What is that about?
It's our friend Eric Eisner's charity, the Young Eisner Scholarship. It's a really great, actually look it up. It's a very worthy cause and they identify, you know, kids from underserved communities who are really smart and helps. Might not otherwise have access to funds for higher education or for secondary education.
Yeah, yeah, it's pretty cool. That is nice. I was part of the TAG group when I was a kid. It stood for talented and gifted and I couldn't do math, couldn't do anything.
I'd love to just kind of just send it out to the group there, just pre-style on that acronym there. I know. Will, want to try a shot at that acronym? I mean, I do.
Go ahead. No, let's not. Talented and gay? Is that what it is?
No. Oh, you think I'm going to say tight ass gays? Should I take cheap shots? I'm going to take a cheap shot.
Oh my God. I'm not looking into your bullshit. Oh, did Will just get a coffee from someone special? I might have.
Is that the, is it the chef that just brought you some? Today she is. Today she is. Wait, everybody is so excited about your new love, Willie.
I've got to tell you one thing really quick. Yesterday we visited Sean Levy, our friend Sean Levy, on the side of our watch yesterday. Oh my God. Did you guys even get to sleep last night?
No, it was incredible. Are you going to be able to do the show with a boner? You're in hour 19 of that boner? Your lightsaber?
Who needs Viagra? The people from Viagra called and they're like, hey, can we take your blood? Because we need to know. Let me see that picture.
Let me see that photo again. Well, you can't post it. Right. This is Sean Levy in the new film.
How do we let you get a picture of that? Well, we went to go to the creature shop. And promised that you wouldn't show it. That's right.
Right. Listen to this. Remember, it's a trap. Scotty, look at Scotty.
Scotty's making Admiral Ackbar move. Isn't that wild? No, that's weird. That he's remembering a line of dialogue from, oh my God, he's making a move.
We turn to the dark. Yeah, look at that. Oh my God. You guys, that must have been like the best day ever.
It was incredible. And Sean Levy, of course, is the greatest. Jason, you would do so well at directing one of those movies. I don't know why.
Let him know, Sean. Let him know. All right. Thanks, Mom.
I love what my mom once said. You know what? You should call Steven Spielberg and let him know you'd like to work with them. I was like, what a great idea.
I know. I love stuff like that. How come you don't work with better? I remember somebody who we know, but years ago, and she said that another person we know was very famous.
And they were like, you know, you should work with the greats and the Scorsese. And she was like, oh, okay. When she was born, Martin Luther King Jr. and his wife Coretta paid the hospital bill.
What? I didn't know this until I looked it up. She grew up in Georgia playing the clarinet in a school band, which I love learning about. After graduation, she moved to New York, sold running shoes.
Guess what? Chased an acting dream. On a film set 30 years ago, she picked up knitting, hasn't put the needles down since. Her kids went after.
She was more famous than Taylor Swift. These days, she's happiest at a ranch in New Mexico. You can call her an Oscar winner. You can call her an American sweetheart.
You can call her my sweetheart. But today, I'll just call her the brilliant and always Julia Roberts. Julia Roberts. Yeah, got it.
Oh my God. Julia Roberts. Hello, Julia. Oh my God, that's so cute.
She's wearing a firefighter uniform, folks. It's Boy Scouts. Oh, Boy Scouts. It's Boy Scouts.
Oh, it is Boy Scouts. Julia Roberts. Hi. How cool that you're doing this show.
Thank you, Sean, for that intro. All my research. It's sort of like a haiku about one's grandmother or something. The clarinet and knitting.
Wait, I didn't know you played the clarinet and the oboe. Those are the two hardest instruments. Wait a second. You don't want to get into Martin Luther King paid for the hospital bill?
I was going to get there, too. So let's start with that. Martin Luther King paid the bill. Why?
They were friends with your parents. Yes. And not knowing the state of my family's financial situation as a brand-new born baby, I guess they were maybe just going to have to smuggle me out in the middle of the night. And so this made me go out the front door.
I'm going to sound dumber than usual. Boy, this is going to be a stretch. Okay, go. What is the bill for having a baby?
In 1975. Right. Thanks. My new favorite, Will Arnett.
Yeah, he's slick. Yeah, you've got kids. You know, these are not cheap and everything. But SAG's, the Bicep and Actors Guild Insurance.
But isn't it all paid by the mystery elves that are insurance? They're the same people that do the laundry, right? Julia, welcome to Spartans. Welcome to that.
I love you so much for this. But you know what's amazing is I'm such a Jason Bateman fan. No, you're not. And this up-close exchange now, that we've seen each other in person.
I'm really just staring at you right now, and you can't even tell them. I could spend years with you. You're the greatest. Do you know the first Bateman I ever truly loved is your mom?
Oh, my mom. Your mom. When I met your mom, she is just, like, she's just such a, you just, she just has sparks that kind of shoot off. She's so beautiful and so sweet and the accent and the whole thing.
British accent. She nailed it. Yeah. Now, was she, because she was a flight attendant for Pan Am.
Did you mean on the plane? Was it yet 18, maybe? Or was my mom just there visiting me? So, Julie was in a movie with my sister Justine way back then.
It was before we were on location. We were in Los Angeles for a long time, because I came out to California, and I was probably there for, like, at least three weeks before we went on location, because we had all that band practice, you see. Oh, boy. So cringy.
If only I could have played the clarinet in that movie. Will does a great horn player. Air clarinet. Air clarinet.
Just making sure the reed is nice and wet. And then we do a theme song of Law and Order. Oh, right. And then I wet the reed as I'm waiting.
Kind of does that, too, all the time. You'll let the spit out at the bottom. Well, that's just incredible. Isn't that wild?
It's incredible, yeah. Right. And how do they know each other, Julia? My parents had a theater school, and the King kids went to that school.
Oh, wow. And so then my parents became friends with them. That's amazing. So the King kids wanted to be actors?
I mean, I think one of them, and again, this is, I'm reaching back into my first days of life, but as I recall, I think one of them did have maybe some acting aspirations, but it was more than anything. I think it was just sort of, you know, hobbyist after-school weekend kind of thing to do with your kids. Wait, so your parents ran a theater school? Or like a theater school?
Sean, imagine the stories they had at the theater school. I can't even. Sean is going crazy now. Oh, he loves a good theater story.
Sean loves a theater story. Well, Julia, you've done a lot of great theater. You've done Broadway. Do you have anybody ever heart attacks in the crowd?
Let's just get rid of it. He usually saves these winners for the end. No. Well, I have an opening night story that is pretty good, but it might be long.
Maybe it's better. No, no, no. That's 45 minutes left. Never too long.
Yeah. Well, so I did a play with Bradley Cooper and Paul Rudd. I saw this one. This one with the rain.
The rain. Monica! I was there. It rained inside the theater, which was great for everyone.
And the people in the front row, which we discovered, they were all kind of being pelted. Like, Julie, didn't every day someone would go like, oh, my God, I'm wet. It's like, well, yeah, that's the... Well, I don't think you go to the theater thinking that the rain in the show is going to get on you.
I wouldn't think that. No, right. But, you know, we had rehearsed this play. As you guys know, it goes on and on and on forever.
And then all you want to do is just start the thing. The opening night comes, and nerves are high. Just even thinking about it, I'm getting a little short of breath. It's a bit of longer.
So the play starts. Paul's on stage by himself, and it's his apartment set. And there's just this sort of, like, bare mattress, you know, apartment in New York. And he's reading this.
He's thumbing through this book, and then there's a knock at the door. Open the door. And it's his sister, played by yours truly, a clarinet player. And I come in, and what's in his hand is our father's diary that he's just found.
And he's been reading it, and he's crazed, and he's manic over what he's discovered. And he's talking about it, and he's talking about it. And he tosses on the bed, as he has done 9,458 times in rehearsal. And this book skitters across the mattress, hits the front of the stage, and into the aisle.
No way. Which is fine for the next four and a half minutes until I say, but. And you'll open it. Okay.
Right, right, right. Or Paul says. Paul says it. He picks it up.
And so we keep going, but we're looking at each other like, this has never happened before. What happens when this happens? Because this has never happened before. Meanwhile, someone working on the show who has seen this happen sort of commando crawls down the aisle and says to the man in the front row, sir, you know, pick that up, but just pick that up on the stage.
And the man's like, what, what? Paul and I are acting our little hearts out. Just pick that up. Look how excited you're showing us.
This is one of the greatest. So the man picks it up, and he kind of like, doesn't quite know. I mean, I wouldn't want to touch it proper, you know. And he puts it on the stage at the exact, you couldn't have planned it better, at the exact moment that Paul goes, no, I'll read it to you.
And he picks it up. Ah, that's great. At the second. And then Paul, being the amazing human being that he is, just turns and looks at the man, he goes, thank you.
And everybody in the audience, you just feel everybody just let out their breath that we didn't realize we were holding, and we sort of went on for there. This is the magic of theater, you know. I want to get back to the beginning, Julia, because I did all this research. You know, you think you know somebody, and then you actually do read about them.
And you're like, oh, I didn't know. And then you realize, wow, nothing that I've read is actually factual. So wait, so when you were a kid, you wanted to play the fair net, we covered that. You were a vet, you sold shoes.
No, we haven't covered that. I'm going to get a double back one. I was a doctor. Did you hear he goes, you were a vet, and you sold shoes?
No, you wanted to be a veterinarian in the past. I didn't know that. How old were you before the vet thing went away? Because every kid wants to be a vet.
Everybody does. I was in the 4-H club. I mean, like, I thought this was great, and it wasn't until I discovered that I don't really have a mind for science. Right, right, right.
I just wanted to do the petting, and, you know, I could take out a toothbrush and put some mange medicine on if necessary, but I didn't want to do the surgeries. What was the most involved thing you've ever done with an animal? Like, have you milked a cow? Have you changed horseshoes?
I've milked a cow. I have not changed, or I've watched the farrier do it, but I've not done it myself. Was it called a farrier? A farrier?
See, I would lose that on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. I wouldn't know what that means. You could call me. I could call you.
You would know? Oh my gosh, she'd be your security caller. I'd like to call Julia Roberts. Yeah, exactly.
That'd be so good. Well, when did the acting, when would you say, yeah, no, screw veterinarian, I want to be an actor? I mean, I don't know that I had that kind of moment where I thought, this is the path I want my life to take. I mean, my parents were artists.
I have an older brother and sister. They were artists. My sister was going to the neighborhood playhouse when I moved to New York and moved in with her, and that's when I was working at the Athlete's Foot on 72nd and Broadway, right? No way.
And I worked there for a while, and I think it was just realizing that college was not going to be in the cards for me, and I didn't really know what I was going to do. I mean, I had moved to New York really just because I wanted to be back with my sister because she had been gone for two years, and we were so close, and I missed her. Not from Georgia? Yeah.
But you were thinking, what, that you were just going to go to New York and something was going to happen? I don't want to embarrass you, but was modeling a poll at all? I did get called in to a couple of agencies, and there was an agency called Click Models. God, I completely forgot about this.
You have jogged a piece of the puzzle out of my mind. Yeah, let's get into it. And I did go meet a really nice woman there. It was Flick and Click.
Wasn't it Flick and Click? I don't think so. No? That doesn't sound good at all.
I think that's something else. No, no, no, I think it was. I actually think it was. No, it was Click Modeling.
Click on the camera. There's no flicking. Click and Click. It was something I swear to God.
No. I think that's a massage. Okay. So, Julia, but really to answer the question, you weren't like, okay, I'm leaving Georgia now.
I'm going to be an actress. I'm moving to New York. You were going because your sister was there, and you just left. But Eric had already been working, no?
He's 11 years older than I am, so he had a career by the time I graduated from high school. So, to answer your question, everybody was sort of leaving home to go to school, and I did not want to be like, okay, I'll see you guys when you get back. I'll be right here in my mom's apartment. Nobody worry.
What about college? You said college wasn't a thing for you. Why was that? Because it wasn't for me later.
It wasn't financially feasible, and I certainly didn't have the grades for any kind of a scholarship. Should have called the King family. I relied on them once already. I just felt like I didn't want them to have to support me the whole way around.
And were you to study something in college at that age? Had the veterinary thing had gone? Had passed. I think I probably would, at that time, because you have to remember, this is 1985.
1985, I graduated from high school, and I probably would have wanted to be a home economics teacher. Oh, wow. Something I'm happy to bring back into the school system now, if asked. What does that mean, home economics?
What does that mean, Professor Edwards? So many things. I'm glad you asked. Oh, here we go.
Here we go. Well, I'm an idiot. I don't know what that is. No, it was such a great class, because it covered, it was like, yeah, sewing, but it was like sewing, mending, it was practical things.
You learned how to write a check. You learned how to sew on a button. You learned how to iron a shirt. Is that when you learned knitting?
No, I learned how to knit from the standby painter on the Peloton Brief. Eric Bart taught me how to knit. We'll be right back. And now, back to the show.
hey um i feel like i'm not a great parent for many reasons one of them is that i haven't taught my kids how to iron how to wash a window without getting streaks on it how like my parents like i had 20 chores every weekend until the day i moved out when i was 18 have you been good about teaching your kids like do they know how to like iron a shirt without wrinkling the fabric that's underneath it how to separate it over an ironing board and put the sleeve over the little the little wedge portion of the board and like all that stuff like you don't know it till you know it you don't know it till you know well i would say there's a yes and a no here because i feel like a lot of the things that i learned from my mom i either learned because like you long list of chores that started right when i got home from school yeah and paused only to watch the mike douglas show and then we're right back to the chores um yeah yeah phil donahue i mean jv were you ever on the show no no i got bumped a couple times but uh you know i'm kidding did you um no you couldn't possibly even you're i did do morphe griffin i did oprah um what else yeah i'm never phil donahue you know what i i slept with this guy uh-oh and chicago what headline is it gonna be sean hayes left with phil donahue not b phil donahue a phil donahue don't tell his wife phil donahue no i just left the guy once in chicago and he ended up on the phil donahue show because he was the chicago he was the chicago weatherman that then did porn it was so crazy you said so many things i know isn't that crazy i slept with him once and i remember his name and he was a chicago weatherman on the tv and then one day he was on phil donahue because he left that career with a porn star i was like what was the craziest thing so you had no you had no warning on this you're just watching your donahue yeah every day yep that's it there he is and there's your guy and he's on there because it was like a porn story that had gone wrong that was no it was no it was in america i was like wow there's a gay person on television yeah that's it yeah that was way before oh shawnee anyway let's get back to you let's get back everybody take a quick shower so julie what i don't know and maybe i got what if you can answer this but i'd love to hear from you what was the first what was your first professional acting gig yeah crime story what a precursor to uh law and order am i being a dentist farina 1950s michael man td show in las vegas dennis farina the nicest man the great great dennis farina um and what was your what was your character were you uh were you a damsel in distress or were you i was a 15 year old girl living with my mother played by hannah cox and her i feel like kind of newish husband and he was maybe not being a good stepfather to me no julia if you catch my i'm really bringing the mood down with this weatherman turned porn star story but um yeah so i did that and that was um a great experience and you know but um well you were living in new york at the time yes yes okay so it's a big it was a big moment it was exciting at the time oh yes oh it was huge it was it was huge so you were able to sort of start start your work and start to gain momentum before there was huge pressure on you to to sort of pay a lot of rent and to really like declare this is what my career is going to be so you were still young enough to kind of like dip your toe in it and see if you get any traction is that kind of how things started that sounds nice the way you put all that let's jot that down well you know what it is too i think i met i'm just to say i met there was an agent i was with my brother and his girlfriend coming from dinner one night and and you know they lived uptown and so they sort of ran into some people they knew and one of uh one of the women they were chatting with was a talent agent and she i don't know she called my brother later or his girlfriend said oh you know does she actor and she called me into her office and uh and after a nice conversation she said well i can't do anything for you but i know someone who who might be able to you know guide you here and she sent me to meet this man called bob gowan who uh was from atlantic city and was dating the star of all my children kim delaney yes and he was just this he seemed to me to be the nicest most energetic guy with time and money to spare and he loved helping young people realize their dreams i mean i once when he became my manager i once went in his office and said bob i was at the empire diner today and there's this guy he was our waiter he wants to be an actor and i said you've got to come meet bob and he did and he signed him and that was dylan walsh oh my god wow so bob was just this kind of incredible man who just loved being the facilitator you know he just loved putting people together and um and that was kind of a nice early advocate and you stayed with him for a while yes yeah and then what was it then the project that gave you the kind of momentum that would uh push you into um sort of like well i i need not pursue other things i think this might work out for at least a few years misty pizza yeah yeah did you get nominated for that or no no okay where do you go is there i did get nominated for independent spirit award for misty pizza and i lost to jody foster for five corners all right was there was there again i say this a lot at risk of embarrassing was there sort of missing pizza you know crime story but missing pizza and everything was there a kind of a life before pretty woman and life after a pretty woman is that fair to say it must have changed your life well i you know i kind of it was a joke to start with but it's actually completely true and people say oh you know when pretty woman came out did it just completely change your life and i said well i was out of town when it came out which is the joke but i was on location shooting sleeping with the enemy in this tiny little town thank you and it wasn't playing at the sticky shoe theater where i was and i remember one of the crew guys was reading usa today he goes hey hey your movie's in the paper and it just kind of said like you know box office there's like a little square and it's a pretty woman and said what the box office was number meant nothing to me i was like hey great i mean i didn't know if it was a great number if it was a good number if it was like um and uh yeah so in a way it the the momentum of that moment passed me by a little bit i think i was probably spared well you're also in work mode and that helps as a distraction to that kind of stuff right do you do long for those days of sort of the the naivete and sort of just like no just kind of just doing the work and having fun and playing make believe and and not being aware of uh sort of the machinations of this interesting business um or you or do you like how complicated this business is is it complicated well in certain areas in the areas that are completely unpredictable and without any sort of meritocracy i guess i just feel like it's there's so much more um choice than we allow ourselves to believe like i can choose to get super caught up in some of the things that really we have no control over um i have long given up reading anything yeah and and i don't know i don't just love doing it for what you're doing right it's so fun i love it so much it's such a goofy little job and yeah i have a google news alert on you just don't worry so i'm reading all your stuff and you're you're fine i'm listening and i'm reading and wait so when steel so so you were filming sleeping with the enemy before steel magnolias no steel magnolias was first so i filmed steel magnolias i filmed missing pizza and then i don't you have my imbb help yeah i know i did pizza then i did um steel magnolias yeah then i did pretty woman yeah then i did flat liners then i did sleeping with the enemy and you know you know the thing in steel magnolias um scottie's diabetic and when you had that scene so i had a scene like that in real life and uh i had i only watched the magnolias like for the first time like seven eight years ago crazy no thanks for the support oh my god i've seen like 17 times um but i have i've seen a billion times but um no that um but that scene was so real scottie's flat lining that scene was so real when you had a diabetic thing and and when he was when we first started dating we've been together for 20 years and he would be he would do let's go on to the next question good lord circling the airport you're about to pick the thing because you said has anything crazy ever happened during a play but during screening of steel magnolias there were a lot of reports of people having sort of like physical responses reactions to yeah people who are predisposed to these outbursts it was wild julia i'm gonna tell you a true story truer than sean and scotty i guess i mean watching i don't know what happened but no no he almost died and it was but he was going into that kind of shaking kind of backhand and here we come the lady goes down i think no it's fine it was amazing it was amazing it was an amazing performance and how true to life it actually was thank you i'm with you someone just told me that there's i think a smoothie place or something on fire island and they have a smoothie called um drink your juice shall be ah yeah very good i'm gonna say will any fire island smoothie jokes hey jason i'd just like to see them up you know i'm gonna say december 1991 thank you mary lou i'm in stoke vermont skiing skiing with my dad and my brother and i saw you having breakfast in this little breakfast place i just remembered that i haven't thought about this in years and you're with a bunch of people and you're having breakfast and uh yeah what did i eat wow and mine was bad yeah we'll just have a short great story mine short well yeah i was only there one time can we talk about i think i mean your career is just incredible and enormous and something we can to the extent you're comfortable i think one of the greatest things in your life is your marriage forever and that's not common yes this guy is like a great guy incredibly talented i'm like i really dork out over cinematographers um can you would you are you comfortable talking about like is there is there is there a key is there a secret i mean this is like a great story and how you met danny motor everybody danny motor um well first let me just say this is that he i mean i really liked your podcast he loves this podcast and i was trying to be on it without telling him so that he would just like be tuning in and all of a sudden really a lady's voice but that's nice he's on my agenda book he's like smartless i love that i remember seeing you um at a charity event and you're with danny and you just look at him and you go and you look at me and you go isn't he the best i just love him and it was so sweet i thought it was the sweetest julia what's the secret i know i'm getting all sweaty um you know it's really you never buddies yeah well he's my best friend and but also the only person i'm gonna make out with so i think it's that combination of things is amen yeah but you know what here's the thing because you just don't know you never want to give all the credit away to one person and say i owe it all to this one person but honestly here we go i want to talk about dan for tracy he's an agent he's a big agent but 25 years later i mean i just think gosh my life could go off the rails a hundred different ways in the last 25 years were it not for finding my person i don't know how i don't know what small nation of people i saved in a former life or i feel the same way did you guys work on a project together how you met yes we met on a movie called the mexican oh yeah yeah and he was uh he was on that movie and i they've been shooting for about three weeks and he god what was he he was a focus player in that movie yeah and he and brad were always next to each other and always talking right and so i come in and and i'm like the new one and i'm like you know you know they're talking about i don't know a new you know record that's come out or something i'm like oh i i love that i love that band kind of start humming it music yeah and they're just like so locked into each other i was just looking for a wait and the conversation um and not realizing that one day this man that i was just trying to have a conversation with would be my husband well uh-huh and then you finally you know you finally had a conversation we had a conversation and he has not gotten me to shut up in 20 hours i love that i love that you're able to schedule and work out all these kind of you go away he goes away let's meet up every couple of weeks like it's going to be just so difficult i know high class problems listen these are high class problems but you want to know something we have in all these years and we have three um awesome kids and only one time in our lives and the kids were probably they were all under five for sure and now they're all in college but there was one time when i was doing eat pray love and danny was shooting a movie in detroit and we were in india right for seven weeks and i mean i was lucky because i at least had kids with me but he and there was just no way even one time i did have three days off in a row and i thought oh great we can you know and even if i went as the crow flies from new delhi to detroit right we could have hugged him i'd have to turn around like it was so it was seven weeks and when he finished and he came and joined us and we were just like wow that that will never work all right so you said the kids are in college now how recent uh have you become an empty nester uh it's been two and a half weeks oh my god okay so i just i might just sent my first one away but it was just down the street to usc so i'm happy about that but i'm not anticipating doing well when the 13 year old goes away in five years uh and being empty empty how are you yes but you and your wife are crazy about each other so it's all gonna be okay i think it's when the kids leave and you turn around and you're like who are you still doing here yeah that's when you run into trouble you were supposed to go too yeah like yeah all right i love that you revealed in that you know you're the first cover star of the brand new 72 magazine which is really cool and you revealed a george clooney interview and you revealed that your dream seven person dinner guest list which i love and the first person your name was danny which is great oh that's good and um and jesus and virginia wolf and johnny mitchell it was a great list i loved it yeah i mean it's so funny because whenever someone asks you a question like that and and you have to you know rapid fire answer and you feel like and then afterwards you're like could that be a good dinner party and then of course for the rest of the day it's like oh wait oh it should have been this person and what about that person yeah yeah um but i think i did i think i mean wouldn't jesus come to dinner what would i ask him what would i ask him today you know what was it like last year or something uh george would be a good guest at that right george clooney yeah i can talk yeah very good storyteller great storyteller yeah he told us that classic about crafting the cat box oh my it's one of the greatest stories of all time And I hadn't heard it until he came out of the pocket. It was great. But even better than hearing George tell it is Richard telling it. Because his voice is so...
Oh, Kenny! He's great. I love that guy. And we will be right back.
And now, back to the show. Wait, so I read that you saved a seven-page love letter from Danny to someday show your kids? And have you showed your kids? That's the first letter he ever wrote me.
I have all the letters. And in fact, someone gave us a great present many years ago. These two beautiful sort of ceramic earthen pots. And the lid on one pot inside is painted, love letters to Julia from Danny.
And the other one is to Danny from Julia. And so there's all these, like, just shoving stuff in there for years. There's just no telling what's at the bottom of these jars. But yeah, we're big on paper in our house.
And our kids are now, too. So it's nice to... Like, I opened it both the other day. And there was a post-it from my oldest son in the handwriting of maybe, like, a seven-year-old.
Which is not too dissimilar from his handwriting now. But I could see the time. And it just said, Mom, I'm so, so, so, so, so, so sorry. What did I do?
I thought, oh, I wish I'd written on the other side of the post-it. Like, what the grievance was. Other than your wedding day and the birth of your gorgeous children, if you could pick one year to relive, what would it be? Because it was so great.
Because it was so great? Yeah. I love that. Somebody just asked me that the other day.
A whole year. Sean's coming with a classic. A whole year. A whole year or a day.
Or is there one day? Don't back off. Don't back off, Sean. No, mine was any year in college.
I just loved my college life. I loved it. Well, I'd love to see that. Wow.
I was a crazy person. It was great. You know, I don't know. I'm just thinking any year that I could go back and spend before my father passed away.
He passed away when I was young. So I feel like, even though I don't kind of say, oh, this was a great year and I want to relive that year, just to have any year with the knowledge that this is special because it's not going to last. Was he the one that was running the theater school? Was it your dad and your mom together?
It was my dad and my mom together, but I think my dad was the captain. Was he alive long enough to start to experience some of your momentum? No, I was a child. You would have loved it.
Yeah. Did that, I mean, that's just a dumb question, but like, what did you, how did you work that? I told you that now. No, because my dad, I mean, I guess I haven't thought about it either.
My dad left. Everybody will. My dad left when I was like five or six. He did.
How? He just walked out the door. He did? With the keys or?
Yeah. I'm sure he came back. The guys are cruel. Was there a vehicle involved?
We got to help with those things like Stern with the little sound things, just the switching tires. Anytime parents call, you're right, we do. We need to pray here. No, but there was, there was something like the fact that I think growing up.
Abandonment can be funny. Yeah. It has to be. You need to let me cry.
I think that that's the kind of, you know. Yeah. I mean, my mom had Alzheimer's too, which is, once I cried, she doesn't remember me. Oh my God.
You guys. That's the good news. I do not play like this. We find the good in everything.
You have to. This is how we love. This is how we love each other. And also, but if I didn't, if I didn't make jokes about my mom having Alzheimer's, she's passed away since then.
But I cried and cried and cried and tried to care about everyone of our family members tried to care. And then after a while, you're just, you have to have some levity. So anyway, one time I was, she was at this, this memory care place and there was a band, there was a live band. I was sitting with Scotty and his mom.
And we, yeah. What's by the top? I don't know if we play some of the old hits. It doesn't matter.
I don't know. It's new to them. You can play a Beatles song. You just wrote this.
That's what I'm saying. That's why you have to make light of it because otherwise you'll die crying. Okay. So we're sitting there and I'm sitting there with Scotty and Scotty's mom.
And all of a sudden, Scotty's mom, who's one of the sweetest people in the world, she gets up and starts dancing. She says to my mom, Mary. She's like, Mary, come on and dance. She's like, yeah.
And she's like, she's going to get up and then she tries to grab me. She goes, come on, let's dance. I go, mom, I don't want to dance. There's all these people watching this room and there's a dance floor.
And I'm like, no, mom, I don't want to watch. And I was like, what? She would have never said that. Did you die laughing though?
Oh my God. Did you dance with her? No. I was too embarrassed.
I know. I wish I could now. Blah, blah, blah. So anyway, no, she's sweet though.
But anyway, Tracy must have laughed at that one. Oh God. So my whole family, we obviously loved her so much. But anyway, so this is the one I wrote down.
If you had to marry, this is for everybody. Julia, if you had to marry a woman, guys, if you had to marry a guy, me, if I had to marry a woman, who would it be? Mine would be Carrie or Raina or Allie or Jen or Amanda. I would marry Jason's wife, Amanda.
If you had to marry. That's a lot of people and I didn't even make the top 10. Hang on, I'm not done. Julia.
Okay, there you go. I would marry either Frances McDormand or Kate Lanchett or Emma Thompson. Nice. Those are good answers.
Those are pretty good. There's more, but I'm limiting myself to three. Yeah. Guys, you haven't married a guy?
I would marry one of these two guys because of the formula you were talking about before, which is you've got to marry a friend if you want it to last. That's right. I've always thought. And so far, I'm right.
Because I do really like that, Amanda. Same thing. I'd marry one of these two guys because they're guys that I love and that I like. And Jason, I would be able to share golf clubs.
I tried his way to the other day. It's great. And also, Jason, I'd love to marry a known bottom. You don't have to do any fighting.
Right. No negotiating. And truly, truly, I would be one of these two guys. I love these guys so much.
I love you guys too. I want to hear about your new thingy. So I just watched it last night. Oh, you did?
They're locked. They're locked. I loved it so much. It's called After the Hunt.
I just watched it last night. What an awesome, dark, complicated character you're playing. As always, I believe every moment, every word coming out of your mouth. Thank you.
And it was crafted in such a way that reminded me of, and now After the Hunt will be on that list, Doubt, what's the other one, like Conclave, After the Hunt. Like, they're all kind of brilliantly made, brilliantly performed. Your performance was incredible. And the end, I was like, because the whole time, I'm like, what's going on?
What is happening? And the reveal is so cool. I mean, crazy, but cool. Anyway, thanks for coming.
I'd love to hear your question. It sounds like a pretty high level. What drew you to the material? Luca Guadagnino, who is just, he is.
He didn't call me by your name. He is so wonderful as a person and so innovative and the most curious person I've ever met. He's so curious about people and why we do the things we do and why we don't do things. And just every detail of everything, he is, there's nothing that you're seeing that hasn't been specifically chosen in this shade of color and this statue and this painting being slightly askew or, you know, whatever.
I mean, it's just really, it's so. It's a really cool moment, too, when you guys, you and, oh, forgive me, Aya, right? Aya. Aya, Debrae.
I'm so sorry. So when you and Aya are, it's kind of towards the end and you have this incredible scene outside of this building and it starts as like regular over the shoulder and it just cuts you guys looking right into the camera. I love that. It was so effective as you're finishing this argument, just right into the camera, coming back and forth directly.
It was really cool. Oh, I can't wait. Six minutes handing ovation at the Venice Film Festival. Yeah?
Yeah. Wow. Really. People tried to sit down.
I was like, oh, no. No, no thing. I just loved it. Yeah.
Oh, I'm glad. Thank you. I'm glad you got to see it. Oh, Luca just texted me.
How crazy. Wow. Crazy. Wow.
Tell him he's doing well. He must have felt us talking about it. Is it nice to launch a film at a festival like that as opposed to just sort of a standard kind of release where it just kind of comes out? I've never really had an experience like this before, so it's nice to do new things, you know, especially this.
What do you mean? What do you mean you have that experience? Well, I mean, I've never been to the Venice Film Festival for anything, and I mean, I guess George and I went to Cannes a few years ago, but that was the first time I'd ever been to Cannes. Yeah.
No matter. Because on television, they all look so terrifying. Like, why would you want to put yourself there? Yeah.
I agree. You know, so if people say, oh, do you want to go to Cannes? No, thank you. Off-season.
Yeah. It just looks so terrifying. People screaming and Cannes. But what about all the glam and festivities of it all?
Is that appealing just in the slightest? Well, I think once you say yes, like once you commit to it, then you have to have a sporting event mentality about it. You're going to have a great time. Danny had on a tuxedo.
I was just, oh, it was great. That part was great. One final question before we let you go, because we've taken up way too much of your time. What is the coolest or weirdest or amazing piece of memorabilia from any film?
Have you kept anything that you love? That's a good question. That is a good question. Because there are also so many iconic films.
I try uncontaminated soil from Mary Brockett, surely. No, water samples, no. But I haven't done anything cool. Or a costume or a shirt or anything.
I have a lot of costumes. I have a lot of costumes. And somewhere I actually think I have some wedding dresses from Runaway Bride. Oh, wow.
Yeah. Do you have a place to keep them? I mean, like a separate premiere house? It's probably, dangerously, just in the garage in New Mexico.
And maybe there's just generations of mice that have made homes. They're trying it on. They're trying it on. In these boxes.
Yeah, but not really more. I have a beautiful drawing that Meryl Streep did for me of my character that she gave me as a rap gift from August West H. County. Oh, I love that movie.
That movie's so good. Some things like that. I love that. What a cast.
Eat your fish. Eat your fish. Yeah, Eat your fish, bitch. George Clooney produced that movie.
Oh, yeah. Oh, that's great. Yeah, it's very good. Okay, so it premieres.
So it's called After the Hunt. It premieres with select theaters October 10th and wider October 17th. It's so good. I just loved it.
I loved it so much. Thank you. Julia, you're the greatest. You guys are so fun.
I honestly, this is just zipped by. It was quick, right? I want a chance to do it again and be quick and witty and more one of the dudes. No, you are.
You are. You are amazing. Come back. Can we just talk about the microphone that Will Arnett has in his apartment?
Yeah. What is up with that? It's janky right now. I'm in a makeshift situation because I just moved in here yesterday.
Yeah, let's get the whisper booth all set up, aren't we? No, I know. It's not great. Internet's not great.
I got the windows open because the AC is broken. I got a guy here. You got a real vital VO career. Don't we get to see?
Oh, those chairs are nice. Yeah, those chairs. Do we get to see your guest star? Yeah.
Where's your babe? Let's put your babe in real quick. She just went out. I swear.
Just left. I think it's all fake. It's a fake media story. No, we're thrilled for you.
Yeah, we are thrilled. Julia, thank you so much. Thank you for saying yes to this. I'm a thrill.
Come back any time you want, Mrs. Oh, thanks. Thank you. It goes without saying, I've been such a fan of yours for so long.
I'm so great at what you do. Thank you. Truly, truly. Thank you.
And can I just say, I'm sorry to leave you out, Sean, because I am your guest and I appreciate you so much. That's a good advice. But the rest of development, Danny and I ate that show up like ice cream, and I'm happy to report that our youngest son, who's 18, just started college. Episode one, pilot, who just started all over again.
No way. Me and him together. We are loving it. Wait, can you invite me over?
Because I haven't seen him since then, and I want to watch him all again, and my kids won't watch anything I do. Come over. We'll go back to the pilot. We will back this right up.
Jason and I haven't watched. We used to watch when it first came on the air. I'd go over Sundays. We'd watch football together, and we'd watch the episodes as it aired.
We're like, wow, this is so crazy. Yeah, and we'd wake up in the morning, and we'd call in for the overnights. It is so... How much is going on all the time is extraordinary.
It is so... Well, you know the turrets. Julia, I know you know me a little bit. And I spoke to you for the first time in a few months, two days ago.
How's he doing? He's doing okay. Yeah, he's the funniest guy. Immediately, you start texting with him, and he's the funniest person of all time.
I mean, that show really is one in a million. Sean's going to catch it one of these days. We're going to make him watch a clock record, though. Well, thank you, Julia, for being with us today.