Last Leg.

So I went through my closet and drawers for spring cleaning, but there isn’t all that much there that I don’t wear… save one specific category I realize I may have legitimately grown beyond.I had three years of wearing slacks and now I’m kind of doneI bought them all online, on saleThey weren’t all that much fun.Up ’til then, trousers were a breezemy grown-up job required easy-fittingnewish dungareesand ties just for emergencieswhen clients happened by. You see,I’d been an artist, more or lessin companies that let you dressthe way you wanted, and I guess(although I never looked a mess)my individualitywas (on my outside) what you’d see -I’d feel a skosh of true self-loathingwrapped in carbon copy clothing……back in grade school, as a kidwe all wore uniformsbright light blue shirts and navy pantsfor eight years was the norm.Right after that I quietly sworenot to wear navy anymore:thus, in the four-plus decades henceblack 501s just made more senseuntil three years ago when I set out to do some goodin places where a well-established dress code said I shouldpipe down, fit in, and not offendhead low, eyes high, discreetly blendand wear the pants we tell you to(which didn’t seem that hard to do)so I dut-i-fully secureda pair for every weekdayand paired them with a collared shirtfor grown-up business cosplayas Dockers™ mean securityand represent maturityin roles with deep obscuritybut they did not “spark joy” in meand slowly as the time went bytheir fit became much tighterbecause I’d set the dryer on high(large load / all cotton / extra dry).Then one by one they lost their sheenand sported dark grey tonesas each leg sleeve shrunk farther upabove my anklebonesuntil one day they didn’t fit.I can’t imagine how, butI could barely fasten them.My daughter wears them now. Get full access to :lowerblackpain at lowerblackpain.substack.com/subscribe