Perhaps if you don't get the joke, you harm the joke. And I have to thank the people retweeting and sharing those videos for making me and my brand go viral once again and helping me sell tickets for the Challenger Games this weekend. It's going to be a huge, huge event, which by the way, it's a charity event. The Special Olympics, like, who's winning here?
All right, so short daily, where's everyone? No producer, no co-host, and no guest. Wee Man was supposed to come in today, and he canceled. Wee Man was good, but also, welcome back to Impulsive, the number one podcast in the world.
Thank you guys for listening, watching, viewing, subscribing, hit that subscribe button. We've got a lot of shit to talk about today. We have a lot went down this past weekend. Again, we are closing down 2 million subscribers.
Closing down 2 million, it's coming up quick. The show is indeed turning around, despite my pink eye, which is why I'm wearing glasses. But actually, when I say it's turning around, I mean it, because I'm wearing glasses for two reasons. One, because of the pink eye that I just talked about just now.
But also, should I take off the glasses now? Although I love them, to show you my pink eye, it's gross, bro. Whoa. I feel disgusting.
I know, I know, I know this is. I don't know. Because this is what I hate, bro. Pink eye, like, we all know, we all joke.
Everyone knows you get pink eye from putting poop in your eyes. Yeah, fecal matter. And I didn't do that. You ever gone toilet diving before?
No. Well, maybe you didn't. No, I don't think I did, dude. I don't think I did.
Here's what I presume. I have two theories. One, my dogs. They're disgusting.
Ginger is always rolling around in the lake, then poop, and then Rhea. Like, Rhea avidly consumes fecal matter. How does one actually get pink eye? Do we just say that?
Relax, I'll defend him. You rub your eye and butt stuff. Like, basically, if a little piece of poop or... I see what I'm doing.
There's going to be a mark. Yes, it is. If you do too much stuff with your eyes, you'll get pink eye. And so, usually, it's from some sort of activity.
But Logan has a theory that it's from Ginger's booty. Just rubbing on his pillow. Not her booty. I can't wait to hear your take on it.
As my manager, Manage of Jeff. By the way, this is Manage of Jeff. Let's go one by one, though. Can we break this down?
One, where the fuck is Spencer? Perfect. Where is Spencer? You tell me.
Because I feel like this is going to manifest itself in some sort of massive... It already has. You know, we've been having issues with him, bro, being vegan and going over to his girlfriend's house all the time. Like, what's really good, Spence?
He's not even my main videographer anymore. He's just that guy who's just saying, no, I mean, come on. I feel like I should respect him. I'm not saying, keep mine.
I'm not saying, I love Spencer. You know, his plant-based choices are not my choices, but at the same time, I love him. But this one was weird. We're supposed to have just a little Wee Man on the podcast.
He decided he wasn't going to show up. And so maybe there was a miscommunication, or maybe he's in aisle six Erewhon right now. We know it's the last one. We know it's the last one.
We know it's the last one. But you clearly miss him. Of course, well. You're talking about him.
I miss him, but I'm also happy that you're on the show. I mean, I'm happy you're here. I'm both huge manager Jeff fans. Yeah, we do love you.
Love you both. We also are missing Wee Man, who was our guest today. So I'm happy with his friend. I don't know why we're halfway around, halfway wearing this.
This is us right now. This is my favorite meme of all time. This is fine. What's the name of this cartoon again?
No, I think it's just a meme. No, there's a cartoon. This is like a famous cartoon. This is you at the Fox News.
Yes, I want to explain that way. Okay, one by one. First things first. Can we clear the whole you up?
Why we're wearing... Yeah, let's not get on. It's wrestling on your body. We're all wearing the original Maverick hoodies.
You may have heard the news. If you saw my vlog on my Instagram, the iconic Maverick the parrot has passed away. And by passed away, I mean he was eaten by my Mastiff, who missed a point for a small rubber chicken. She's six months old.
She's just a huge dog who doesn't quite know the difference between anything and anything. Exhibit A, she's been tearing up my Gucci slides. When I'm gone, she eats everything that I own. These are the ones he's wearing right now.
Well, these are the new ones. She's trashed at the same time. Like, these shoes are, what? How much are these?
Probably $400 retail. $600. Why does it matter? $400.
Out the wazoo. Gone. And, you know, it gets worse. Here's my passport.
My new passport. I had two. And she's gone away in three days. So we have to go get the, what is it, the expedited day of, same day pass.
You have to go there on Friday and basically sit there all day. Oh, sorry. Good job. I still could be the girl.
She told me. But yeah, I mean, what's really fucking good, Ginger? How many things you need to tear up and chew up? And including Maverick the parrot.
Like, the bird has been with me since before I started Vine, before I started any internet stuff. And it really does break my heart because he was so much more than a bird, obviously. Like, literally, we made him our brand. And he flew with us.
He flew with us on our journey. We rallied around him as a community and activated what it meant to be a Maverick. When I was in Sweden, the amount of people doing this when I passed him on the street are, yo, let's do the Maverick, save one of the pictures. Iconic.
I am the Maverick. All because this little fucking son, Conor Parrot. And again, while I was away, same as last time with Kong, he died, man, via murder. And it just, like, I, what's so funny?
He said via murder. He did die via murder. I know, but I like the term via, too, but I feel like homicide's a little. The dog's a puppy.
The one good thing about it is that the pillow guy had already pillow-sized him, so we already have the pillow. Like, we didn't have to go and have that made. By the way, where are you going to put that? I don't know.
But it's crazy. To be honest with you, I'm reaching a point where I don't know how to handle anyone. I don't know how to deal with this. First, it was Kong.
Incredibly depressing. Incredibly sad. All of us miss him every day. And now Maverick.
And the worst part about this, quite honestly, is that I know Mike is ecstatic. I know you are. I know you are. Before I left for Sweden, I caught him in the kitchen going like this to the wall.
I don't know, man. He just flew away. No. What?
I don't know, man. He just flew away. I caught him practicing. Why?
This was really messed up. I knew he was there. I knew he was walking over. So I was going, sorry, man.
I don't know how to say it. I guess he just flew away. Sorry, man. I don't know how to say it.
I guess he just flew away. I'll tell you what. It actually bothers you. Bothers me is not really the word.
Have you ever had a cement mixer? Like a pet cement mixer? Not a pet mixer. And inside that cement mixer, you put in hundreds of thousands of alarm clocks.
And every morning at around 645, the cement mixer starts to churn up those alarm clocks. And it sounds kind of like this. Bother! Bother!
Okay? And you're just a door over. And you've been working the night shift or whatever you've been doing. You've had a rough night or a rough day.
Like the plug. Right? And all of a sudden, you've got a goddang nuclear arsenal exploding in your eardrums. That's it.
Please don't do it again. I won't. That's it. Great bird.
Huge fan. Awesome. Great brand. Okay?
Some of the hardest news, as you saw on the vlog, that I've ever had to break for someone. It was really hard. You tried to butter me up. I saw what you did there.
You tried to... What's it when you say, like, two things? It was a tactic. It's a tactic.
So sorry. When I get a call... Silicon Valley. When I get phone calls...
Is that your... No, I get phone calls and my phone rings. It's like a double... So I had...
My friends have taken to my Instagram and to my Twitter accounts. They're not quite very happy with me right now because of the way that I explain the situation. But as we know, I do enjoy making you laugh and making sure that you're not sad. And I think what I was trying to do was make you not sad.
You're thousands of miles away. I couldn't give you a big old hug. I couldn't give you a big old handshake. I wanted to make you laugh.
I also... I want a heart back on it very much. But... Well, you're on the air.
I laugh at things that make me feel uncomfortable sometimes. I noticed myself falling into that trap. Like, I know I do. But I really felt it with this one being, like, super, like, hyper aware of the situation.
And, like, quite honestly, as healthy or unhealthy as this is, whatever you want to call it, it's just, like, my coping mechanism. Me too, bro. And, like... I saw it in the video.
And, by the way, I have a problem with people telling me that it's not okay. I agree. You know what I'm saying? Like, who are you to tell me how to deal with the death of my best friend for the past seven years?
Yeah. You know? And, like, my grandmother, she's been very open. She's like, when I...
Like, a lot of people don't want you to be, like, to cry and be upset. They want you... Like, she's like, go out, get a bottle, get a pizza, celebrate my life. Get a bottle.
You know what I'm saying? I have no longer feel the need to support this. Are you serious? I know, bro.
I just learned he was just disincerping. He's not able to type or really have any sort of stream of consciousness because of mainly him being a bird. Well, now he's really not able to... Able to what?
Have any kind of stream of consciousness either. Just because... Where do we know that? He got you, buddy.
What are you typing? That's a cookie, man. Man. I'm saying, anyway, that sucks.
He really does. He's a great bird. He had a long life. So I'm saying...
Almost got away a long time ago. He almost did. Before I started Vine, he did fly away once. I walked outside with him on my shoulder.
And I forgot that we had not clipped his wings. I thought his loyalty was prime. It wasn't. I made it about 20 yards away from the house.
And my dad was like, Logan Maverick. I was like, he's fine. Like me, the delusion often. He's fine.
He flies off. Beelines towards my dad. I'm like, this is great. He's going to my family member.
My father. And about halfway to my dad, just 90 degree angle cut curves right up direct. Vertical in the air. 300 feet in about two seconds.
I didn't know he could fly that fast because all he does is fly around the house. And he goes back and skates. Yeah, exactly. So I had no idea that he was capable of such speeds.
And he flew away. He was about a half mile away. We chased him, chased him, chased him. And then, you know, Maverick, come here.
Shaking food at him. Like a dog. He's not a dog. He's a bird.
We never taught him the come here trick. So he doesn't know what I'm doing. And occasionally he's just here. And I'm like, fuck.
Luckily, it was fall. So after about 20 minutes, Maverick's not moving. You can see him way up in the trees. And there's no leaves.
Very visible. The tree branches. You can see everything. So I'm like, fuck.
So I throw a stick near him. And it hits a branch near him. Scares him. Flies away.
If you ever lose a bird, this is what you do. Scares him. Flies away. Flies about maybe a quarter mile through the woods.
Whatever. So we're chasing. We're chasing. We're chasing.
And I throw another stick. Then he flies about a tenth of a mile. And each time I throw a stick near him, he flies a little less of a distance. And I notice he's dropping.
Because this motherfucker has no endurance. He has no endurance. He only flies around the house. Not like you in round three of the case.
Exactly. Or the mile of challenge games. Oh. I'm not running a mile.
For this reason. Actually, I could hook a 530 if I felt like it. So I keep throwing sticks at him. And eventually he gets low enough.
So many of my friends. My ears. All my friends are wishing me condolences. None of them really cares.
No one liked Maverick except me. He was great. Because he was my homie. He had my back.
When anyone would walk in the room, he'd go and attack their head. For sure. And the only defense mechanism was to duck because he won't fly down. I got it dropping to the ground.
I would just drop. I used to just walk in the room like this. I started using a cellar stick. One of the last things I heard from him, or Hayden, I guess, was, I'm here for a good time, not a long time.
He said. Oh, he did say that? Okay. Which is a Drake lyric.
I think it might have been one of the days before he passed. I think he had a great life. Yeah. That was his model.
I'm not going to lie, though. I love him. Where this is tricky for me is I love Ginger. Ginger the Giant.
Our master dad unfortunately killed Maverick. I love her. And she's so clueless. She had no idea what she was doing, but I don't know how to discipline her.
I don't know what to do or how to treat or how to act towards her. Because while I love her, she killed the thing I love most. I think some training and some experts would help. What if my mother murdered Jake?
Do I still love my mom? That's crazy. Do I? Probably, though.
Probably not. That's a pretty medic question. I was not expecting this. You know what I'm saying?
Like, who knows? I mean, it's the same way how girls were with Ted Bundy. You know, like, yo, Ted Bundy's a hottie, dude. But, like, he's a fucking killing people.
Wait, sort of. Like, why were all the people in his courtroom swooning? Girls. Swooning girls.
They're like, I don't know. He just seems so mysterious. And it's like, what's good? And the one swooning girl mixed up the guard and jumped out the window.
Remember? Yeah, yes. Aspen. Yeah, dude.
It's crazy. Well, I mean. It's all sad. It sucks.
You can tell my mood is melancholy, which is kind of. I wish I was a little more fired up today. I'm not going to lie. It's also this fucking pink eye.
It affects my whole body. Yes, my nose. I have nasal drip. Because you have shit inside your body.
Well, hold. It's the wrong place. The original scientific term is shittiest eyes. And when it came to, from the Latin for shitaceous.
When it came to America, they turned into pink eye. You know what I thought it was originally from? You were there that night. I'll just say it, dude.
I haven't smoked weed in eight months since November. It's a flat earth conference when I fell flat on my face and just passed out. Hey, by the way, Logang. Remember that.
Save his life, right? Give me some slack about that. Mike's done a lot of good things. And so for that reason, I've always been paranoid to smoke weed.
And the other night, I was the perfect balance. I'm like exhausted. But I still wanted to go out. I was like, fuck it.
Let's do edibles. And David's a German. Supplies us with edibles. And I was like, I want to just be relaxed and go fuck around.
And so I did edibles. And sure enough, got high as a whistle. My eyes are dehydrated. Red as shit.
I'm just like, yo, what's good? And we go to the beach. Why is the whistle so high? Because we went to Santa Monica.
So we went to Santa Monica. We walked out of the beach. By the way, we didn't know. I didn't know how he was going to handle those edibles.
I know that he should not be going anywhere near psychoactive. I tried to slap. David, drugs in general. I don't mix with drugs at all.
It's something I know about myself there. Which is why I don't do drugs. I can't. It's funny because everybody thinks you did cocaine.
I know. There's a lot going on. So they all walk out on the beach. I tried to get David not to give him to him.
I didn't take them because I had a hidden agenda. I wanted to get a ride to Santa Monica, which was closer to the club. Because obviously we have other sections. I was trying to go to Hyde for a little bit, right?
It's a great club. It was Friday night. And they were like, let's go to the silent disco and talk about vegans that are just like us. No, no, no.
No, no. Well, that's important information. We went to the beach and stumbled upon a bunch of people with headphones like this. That's cool.
Awesome. Watch. This is what we saw when we walked. We go, what the fuck is happening?
And then Coachella? Yeah, we both thought. Well, I've heard about them. I've never done it.
I've never seen it. Did you enjoy it? Hold on. And then I go, this is incredible.
What are the chances? We stumbled across our first silent disco and the headphones had channels on each with a different type of music. Oh, that's a good place. Yeah, they are.
And also, I do want to mention this to the time point. We saw the silent disco and while we were walking over, it took everyone in the group about four minutes to walk from the parking lot to the silent disco area. It took Logan 35 minutes, roughly. The kids were stuck to the ground.
Every step he took it, it looked like he was stepping into dick sand, dude. I was taking these huge steps. And I'm like, yo, Logan, he has hood up. And my hamstring was a little tender and walking on sand was uneven.
So I wanted to take it easy. Yeah, so I was walking real slow. And finally, we get to silent disco. It's on a board, like wood.
And we all put these on. I just want to paint the picture. Like, imagine the first time you ever. go to a silent disco you're high for the first time in eight months brother brother i was losing my mind we have video i don't want to show you no please i really don't want to all of us listening to an edm rave just losing our mind and you know who's going the hardest this guy like i haven't seen mike move that fast in a decade why what happened i was just super sober i think i was just like hanging out and that like i get really amped when the music is in my ear like that like i just i can't so i was just grinding to groove and go nuts i was surrounded by people i love i was just in a great place and it was just dudes like it was just homies so we were just getting it and uh i found it ironic actually the first the day we remove all the 50 000 pounds of sand from our backyard from the logan's louis the day we remove the beach from our backyard is the one day we go to the beach by the way we never do we never go to the beach uh which is definitely ironic i saved the video i left by the way i went to hide and uh sorry i went to work and he went he came home and i came back with like eight girls okay and usually what i do is i on the way back to the house i mark the hottest one i say this one's gone because logan's gonna take her with a picture i don't know how you just said to me okay i just marked the mentally okay he goes he takes a picture of the whole bus i can see him he certainly goes this one marks he sends it so i marked the mentally and i say to myself okay this girl's gone because logan's gonna take her dude she's gonna come to house no matter how interested she is in me she's gonna see this big old bra and she's gonna go well sometimes it switches up but for the most part i just say okay let the rich kid have it right so then we all come here and the hottest one well shit i gotta be careful because they're gonna watch this all right so anyways we come here and i see him and he's like i'm like yo man we got girls and he's like this right he's like i like girls and i'm like great why don't you go talk about it well they're everywhere dude by the way there's a group of four of them completely naked right now getting in the hot tub which by the way is not that weird that happens sometimes right and logan's like do you know that sometimes turtles swim and i'm like okay so obviously you're not part of the activity he's like i tried i really think i'm gonna go up to bed now so did you get the marked one you're not going to be honest with you i had an incredible this is more night shift talking i'm not gonna get too deep in it but i had an incredible evening awesome it went till 8 30 a.m in the hot tub i don't think i got the marked one i didn't because that was funny she came up to me and she oh my god oh i was i was going up the stairs to go to bed because at this point i had i had attempted to talk to one not even like i tried to sleep i just had attempted to speak with her and i couldn't she's like how are you i was like how are you that's exactly what she said i find out when i'm high if someone asks me a question i'll say the last word back to them as my answer look what do you want to do i'll be like do so i'm halfway up the stairs and this girl she kind of a ting bro she's hot bro she comes up she's like hey where you going to turn around you know something like it's beaming her face somehow it's midnight i go you're beautiful and she's like wow what's your name i was like your name and then she goes what are you doing what are you going upstairs for i was like i'm just gonna go to sleep she's like well i don't go out often and this is my first time going out in three months and i wanted to have a good time tonight hopefully maybe you could hang out with us i was like hang out with us and i walked over and she was like is your friend all right and i was like normally yes and i was like you're so cute but yeah they were like super super like freaky like i'll be honest like i normally when big up a night because like shit happens in la every night but like you miss a kind of cool night i know you told me that but also also though it's one of those and like take this lesson kids it's one of those where there was no other way unfortunately that night there is no like rally or push through the the high i couldn't do it so all right rewind for a second the next day everyone knows that was bleed into the next day hours on hours the next day i woke up and i'm like and so i put it on my agenda i go i'm going to new york in two days today i'm gonna do absolutely nothing that was the one goal of the day i wanted to do absolutely nothing has anyone ever done this i've done it maybe a handful of times in my life like literally just laying it and not doing nothing yes it is so underrated like take these days every once in a while and don't do anything and make sure that's the thing you want to do and it was one of the greatest days of my life someone goes they walk up to me like laying outside like this on the beach like what are you doing i go nothing wait that was the day we all floating around on the tube right doing nothing at one point i took a nap and i woke up and uh i was just laying there naked in my bed because that's how i sleep because i burn real hot all the time temperature wise and logan came in and he was just in his underwear and he goes move over and i'm like i don't really want to do that man and he's like no move over now and he just like had his bro like sleep over by the way quick note about that you lay down and buys a huge bed so we're like five feet between us you got on your phone i got on my phone didn't say one word yo because i just wanted to be near my boy and do nothing like i just wanted to be near my boy and do nothing are you doing nothing are you doing nothing what i found that day was i found time that day to actually do nothing that meant putting the phone down because when you're doing nothing on your phone are you still doing nothing i don't think so when you're strolling like the only time i ever find any space any time to like free myself from like your negative thoughts or like find any kind of positive balance in my brain is when i actually put my phone down i put my phone down i find some space i say oh wow i looked around and there's more to this life than this little square screen oh there's trees all kinds of skies and stuff you know i look around there's logan there's death like this is like that's what i said we're in droids we are cyborgs and literally i am now because i have a red fucking eye and i think it's going to my other eye so i had blamed i got pink eye the next day after the high day and i had blamed the pink eye originally on the edible i think the edibles gave me pink eye because it stayed red and stayed always like semi-shut i did a whole media press day in new york like this and i made it very evident on i don't know why i have all things fox business and i think i actually didn't know why should we go to that now not yet not yet because i want to talk about one thing i can read my last little search really quick yeah uh can dogs eat toast that's the last answer probably can blame white and weak brides generally stay for dogs to eat provided they don't have allergies that's good so okay sorry go ahead um okay so when i was high i'd like to write down my thoughts when i'm in an altered state of consciousness so i wrote down when i'm high love this possible book question mark possible book when i'm high uh the first thing i wrote is the answer to every question asked is the last word of the question you're gonna go in logan logan logan when i'm high i fear satan you're scared of satan i don't know i'm terrified of him he's just like when you're hot yeah only when i'm high he's just screaming i'm like oh my god when i'm high friends do amazing things like when mike was dancing i was like this is amazing this is amazing spencer just sprinted straight towards the ocean and then went in it amazing when i'm high i scream my assistant's name always like at santa monica p she's nowhere to be seen i don't think she went with you because you got sand in your shoe what was it i don't know you look at oh no broly hopped up on the table and uh he consumed some things he shouldn't have like uh like a whole bowl of stuff like pasta and plastic and everything like everything he barked and the vet was like yo what's going on here is this a dog at your house or the coral cafe like he just eats everything he's at garbage disposal for dogs and by the way thanks and you saved his life when i'm high i feel bad for penguins and here's why here's why we're at the beach and i'm waddling around in the sand and i go this is fucking hard imagine being a penguin i was just waddling around with my hurt handshake anyways when i'm high sleeping people they're just hot dogs saw these people at the beach covered up in blankets that's so true and i'm like you're just a hot dog that's so true you're a frank herder luckily you weren't hungry at the time there's really no if you think about it there's really no difference between the two like between a sweet sleeping person and a hobo's hot dog nothing when i'm high water is life i remember someone giving me a sip of water and i was about to make out with them water is the most important thing your mouth gets so dry and as long as you keep that shit moist it'll be good to go when i'm high i wear my seatbelt and that's all i got do you does the things you just said in any way last year you're doing that you know it's crazy bro you get distracted by things that like no one would ever know about you choose to like like i accidentally hit the siri button and she came up do things that uh does that stop you from wanting to get high because your brain does like make you fear yes i don't dude it's not for me every time i do it i'm like i go what the fuck am i doing i don't do it often it's not what i do i feel like it's sometimes my conscience talking to me you know like a little bit of like yo stuff that i don't want to think about i don't want to hear it's like damn maybe i need to by the way let's not get into reefer madness 52 here okay great drugs has a lot of positive benefits that said it is a drug and so like certain people i think react to it differently it just had not when i was when i was 16 17 18 20 20 all the way through that age i was rolling up ounces bro i'm sure you were too i would roll through bongo after bongo after bongo after l after l after joint whatever to smoke all day blunts dude like i was hustling i was rolling everything touches and wraps it was nice to see you sober when all the rest of us that was weird i felt very powerful in that moment so so charles manson historically and very famously used to give his followers acid they would all sit in the room he'd be like we will now take the acid and be our savior away right he never took it he never took everyone around so that he can have a superhuman um ability to like be above everyone else in the right state of mind and that's how i felt i kind of felt like charles manson the other day dude wow you were all just like just like your feet were stuck in the ground andre was like looking into the stars like talking about like copernicus and shit and i was just standing there and i was like dude like these minions of mine are gonna really come in handy something you know what i'm saying and then i just and then i just bounced and pulled together a foursome and then you went out and drank awesome yeah you drink i did i came back and they were on the same level again and then we're all charles manson's that was that was one of the hottest like just escapades of the year yeah it was so steamy it was so steamy and like just nudity i have a question was it as hot as when we were all in the backseat of the sprinter van and you and david were in the front scene about halfway through the drive y'all rolled up the partition what happened what happened i just i don't know i gotta try i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna try it lightly here i'm not a fan of bro don't any of the music that you andre spencer choose any of it you guys just pick terrible music it's all horrible with very few and i put on um when we listen to spotify's classic rock station casey jones grateful dead exactly and like all that shit bopped out so he's just cranking in the back and you guys were listening to you guys were listening to my dick got the hiv no we weren't and you're all in the backseat going like this my dick got the hiv and i'm like oh what's good bro i'm like no i'm listening to the classic you're listening to the classes of the 60s and 70s over here bro you think smith's father listening to that no we're listening to like glass animals and like yeah bro i showed you guys glass animals so you're not listening to that no you weren't you weren't i remember you weren't listening to i wasn't in charge yeah we were listening to the trippy trick playlist yeah trippy trick playlist bro it's just a vibey shit so what do you do this good bro did you give him a handoff all right so i went to new york for a media press day for the challenger games this saturday july 27 get your tickets it's gonna be a huge event it's gonna be live stream with a donation link the charity we're gonna be benefiting is the special olympics we just confirmed which is awesome i think it definitely fits in with the vibe of the event hopefully this is the first of many as you guys know i've placed a bet a hundred thousand dollars i was the fastest youtuber on the planet and so that's been the uh the tagline i've been sort of running with because it is a it's a nice hook people listen it's big i bet it's big a hundred thousand fast well really no way i'm the fastest or like i want to watch this kid run so media day new york was uh to go there we went we went there to talk about the challenge games impulsive 100th episode which we did we just did like subscribe they said just promote the brand build that brand awareness and we had set up i think 10 interviews that day all of them were great and by the time this comes out a few more of them will be rolled out i had a great podcast at barstool's kfc radio it was actually the one of the best podcasts i think i've ever done i had so much fun those guys are awesome and uh then we went all right and i did their would you rather thing where you stand in front and you answer questions about sex and stuff we need something like that one of the questions was uh curious to see your answer one of the questions was would you would you punch your grandmother in the face to have sex with a girl of your dreams no i said i would i would knock my grandmother out cold no aggressively like no like i'm happening grandma joe well grandma joe's a tank dude like she's a fucking warrior you can actually step up and take a full-on punch to the face boxer logan boxer logan like you know one of the hooks give me a jab do you want my answers absolutely not i love why can comedians make jokes and they're just like get it wrong with it but it's not a joke or are you serious i love the question but when i answer questions like this i give answers the same way you do like normal and i want to get into this i want you to give your whole thing about how you act but normal people with normal brains they would say oh of course i wouldn't i love my grandma but we are people no sorry and i'm not saying you probably would answer like us too but we're fucking elevated and so obviously we wouldn't do that but now we're gonna one up and i'm gonna tell you why okay my dream girl first of all is your grandma is my grandma and so i have to knock the dream girl is not separated that much by the girls i'm already interclosing okay i heard it oh i love her dude i know somebody in her family i know somebody in her family and my boy used to date her and she's dating someone now but i think so they just love how she looks i can make the connection no no no no i'm very respectful of the sense of the other everything your family number is in the DMs your family number is in the DMs all right anyway so whatever what i'm getting at is even if i said Jennifer Lopez even if i said some hot um zoe de chanel who also love her bangs right pat dennings or some sweetheart from the industry they're just not separated that much from some of the more you know nicer hardworking girls that argue so i'm not to go from a nine to a twelve i'm not gonna punch my dear man she's ninety years old she's already used a goddamn walker she broke her up twice in the past six months nobody wants just plain drama no they just want something that's like shock about it i call you from sweden i text you hey uh publicist has new york trip it's great for press we're backing it challenger games impulsive she's like jeff you're going i'm like no i used to go all the time we'd fly you know we'd be right next to each other and make sure like logan's 24 years old he's great at this now perfect like you have to go no problem all right great well hold on bro no no you're right bro i'm i'm quite honestly too good at interviews now that i can do act and say whatever i want and spin it however i want and the media will write about it however i want that back up explain explain what happened yesterday so you went and talk specifically about fox news because that is the one that blew up everyone shared so so we did eight interviews it's uh it's about 4 p.m quite honestly i'm exhausted i'm running on three to four hours of sleep because i went out the night before my bad with pink eye i was told not to go out well hold on a second if i had been there in new york city which where all my friends are i totally wouldn't have gone out i would just sleep yes you would have yes you would have i was like what are you talking about you went to chinatown because i know chinatown's open till 6 i've done it so we went out to carry downtown i want to i want to so this clip went viral this dude posted his name is twitter handles at jordan he blew up by the way he blew up because well he got how many retweets Tweet here, check it out, I saw 12,000, 117,000 likes at the time of this video, 19,000 retweets, the catch was loaded on Fox Business, and well, it was something, and at first I want to, I want to bring up the full interview, because, you know, I mean, the full interview doesn't go viral, it's a super cut, it's a minute cut of the greatest moments, but like, I was just, I was just in a mood, you can tell even when I was, uh, first in the green room, like, well, when I was in the green room, you're like, you're gonna go live, no, and I'm just like, mean mugging the camera if you saw the interview, um, and here, let's see if we can play this, but.
I saw Danny actually post something where you were walking in, and you were definitely, yeah, you hit a wall, bro, bro, they're like, okay, do the b-roll, you're gonna walk down this hall, I'm like, this is so fucking lame, like, can I just at least have fun, because that's my, that's my goal now, bro, I want to have fun, so anyways, here we start, according to Social Blade, which tracks monetization, he makes in about 15 million dollars a year, he's internet famous Logan Paul, you're always doing it, I've seen it all the years lately, I'm in Fox Business, and like, look at me trying to do business, all right, so anyways, so, my two options, you look good, thanks, thank you, I had to go up for something, except for the eye, so, I had two options, my team goes, you're going to talk about YouTube, Facebook, Google, whatever, I'm like, this is great, but also, two options, one, talk about business on Fox Business, nothing happens, it gets seen by the, what, 20,000 viewers maybe that are watching this live, or less, or, number two, be funny, have a great time, talk about stuff I want to talk about, and go viral, and I chose the latter, because that's my shit, that's what I do, and I love to do it, and there are two types of people, one, most people who watch this show and the vlogs, who see what I'm doing, and know exactly what I'm doing, and they get it, and two, the people who are like, this kid's a moron, what, he bombed this interview, and I'm like, yo, all right, but, I will say, my strategy here, we did it in Flat Earth, and I don't, I'm sort of hesitant to even say this, but I believe this phenomenon will be a recurring theme in society, I bank on the naivety of old people, and millennials, to perpetuate my brand, make me go viral, and keep me relevant, in circumstances like this, knowing that, that feeling they get when they tweet out the fuck Logan Paul, or the hop on that bandwagon, that little dopamine spike, no, they love it, and I know they love it, and they'll never not love it, they'll always feel the need to put that tweet out, rally the troops, get their army behind them, get the retweets and the followers, and keep me relevant, the same people are going, Logan Paul's running, I thought he was relevant last year, like, thank you, because of you, I stay relevant, and so, and knowing that, it's become like a fun little schtick of mine to play, again, we have it with Flat Earth, but I do want to play the supercut, because this really encompasses what happened on that Fox interview. If I'm being quite honest with you, I'm the fastest YouTuber, I'm the fastest entertainer on the planet, I could be running, I could be the quickest man on the planet, I'm everywhere, baby, I'm everywhere, and I'm nowhere, I'm like a ghost, because I do have to stop you right there, so you said you used the word controversial, just so you know, I am an ex-controversial YouTuber, and yeah, I'm betting $100,000, I'm the fastest man on the planet, I'm the fastest man on the planet, but I will say my expenses just surpassed my income for the first time ever, I just sat with my financial manager, he told me that, like, I'm definitely going downhill from here. Did that make you nervous? Yeah, absolutely, I'm terrified, I think it's the beginning of the end, I'm uncomfortable with myself, you know, I also have a pen guy, it's not contagious, there's a two-week incubation period, I'm so sorry, but, yeah.
The text that I get, right? Oh, I got it too, I got it from multiple. Lawyer, our boy's trending, publicist, not the best interview, other people we do business with, that was an interesting interview. Yo, it's Fox Business, it's my ninth interview of the day, I have no desire to talk business.
And then other hands, other hands from people, best interview I've seen. Yeah, for sure, Logan's a genius, Logan's a genius, Logan's a genius, you're hilarious. As I said, there's two types of people, one person is like, I understand what Logan's doing, I see, like, yeah, clearly. Let me, let me, let me, let me jump in here for a second.
And as I know, smart guy, very intelligent, capable, he's just playing with you. Let me, let me jump in for a second. I think the biggest, I think the biggest learning from this, and every other time you or we have done something like this, is that people will continuously underestimate the intelligence of this camp, okay? For sure.
We, we are, we, I get advice from Logan, I get advice from, from people here in LA, I get advice from people on the internet. When I say that we are 65 steps ahead of you guys, you have no fucking idea what we are doing, what we're working on, where our humor is going, what, we've got it all figured out, we are 130 plus IQ, 4.3, that's 4.7. We don't have it all figured out. Like, I was gifted program from third grade until high school.
My dick is huge! My dick is huge! That's the one, that's the one fault of mine. Let me say this, let me say this, let me say this, we've got this shit figured out.
We are toying people. Yes, we don't have it all figured out. A lot of it do. A lot of it, I was gonna say, here's, here's what I'm, the moral of the story, if you don't think that every move I make and everything I do since about a year ago in my life is extremely calculated and intentional and strategic, you have to be out of your fucking mind.
5.2 million what? Views. Oh, on this video, this video, this video has 5.2 million views, by the way, the full interview has about 87,000, no one wants to see the video, which by the way, we did talk about some things that were like, just slightly educational, but the super cut, the thing that goes viral, people love to point the finger and go, Logan Paul's a moron, he's doing cocaine, and I think, I've never done cocaine in my life, which, which, clearly also not the drug that would make you do this. Let's just die, some people said Adderall, and that would seem like a drug that would make me out of this, but like, yeah, might as well be.
So, I'm fascinated, I'm fascinated that people are fascinated by this, and they don't understand. I heard a saying once, perhaps if you don't get the joke, you are the joke, and I have to thank the people retweeting and sharing these videos for making me and my brand go viral once again, and helping me sell tickets for the Challenger Games this weekend, it's going to be a huge, huge event, which by the way, it's a cherry event that's been in the Special Olympics, like, who's winning here? Like, I can take the people who put me down, and there's, you know, there's two ways to interpret this video, the people who put me down, and, you know, Logan Paul, there's drugs, Logan Paul's sucks, Logan Paul's an idiot, why's he on my screen, whatever the comments are, you will most likely never be a person that I want to be a fan of mine. Maybe in the future, that'll change, but I'm so happy that you do you, and when you do you, it helps me.
Thank you. What were you going to say? I was just going to say, I was just going to say, it's funny, because it reminds me sometimes of, like, what people, not to say it again, but what people say about my show that I just started. They're like, oh, you got towels hanging on the thing, like, remember when GB said, this show's a train wreck, it's the worst.
Do you not think that I can't afford a fucking, I'll just throw 100K into a fucking set, I don't care. The reason I do it is because it's fucking hilarious. It's a really meta inside joke that I think a lot of the people that are coming up on the internet, the audience, the consumers, love. Gen Z, millennials who are on the same wavelength as us, this is an inside joke.
If you're in the circle and you get it, this is fucking hilarious. The quote comes when it's like, why so serious? Why so serious? Why so serious?
Why is a joker bad end? I can sit and talk business all day, and the difference between YouTube and Facebook and why I create, where I create, but it's just so boring. I'm here to entertain, bro. She's a genius, but I want to make sure that people put you on, because they give you a platform.
What? Put you on. Fox Business. Give you the platform to go viral.
Oh, I agree. And by the way, Liz, the host, is a fucking doll. She's so nice, dude. She's incredible.
I did her podcast after. I talked to her after. She said something that I won't repeat, but made me fall in love with her. Her daughter's a huge fan.
She's amazing. What did she think of the interview? She thought it was great. Why?
She thought it was great. I'm not sure she knew what was happening. Liz, I love you. She might.
She might. She was laughing along with her. Outside of the super cut, did you hate any of the talking points? Yeah.
Absolutely. Absolutely. I explained to them, I'm like, yo, YouTube does a better job monetizing for creators, and they provide more incentive for me to create there, because they have the audience at the moment. Yes, and I also said that.
I said things that, again, have value, but this super cut is fucking golden. And then I think the comment that, there's two comments I think that are really pushing people's legs. One, when I go, I'm the fastest man on the planet. People are tweeting at me, they're like, don't you know who you say both is?
Like, come on, like, this kid can't be, I'm like, bro, what are you saying? Why are you serious? No, I'm not serious. Why are you so stupid?
Like, are you that dumb that you thought you were serious? I'm the interview. I'm the interview. I go, I was like, I'm going to take this a step higher.
I go, I'm the fastest YouTuber. I was like, fuck it, I'm going to pull this out. I'm the fastest man on the planet. And I know people are going to hear it.
You think people are going to hear it get offended. No, you're not. And you think they want to learn their lesson from Flat Earth. But I thought Flat Earth was the time we taught them.
We are going to fuck you guys so hard. You do the marketing for us. You're going to screw yourselves, and then we're going to teach you. You're going to shut up for fun.
Bro, you do the marketing for us. You do the promo for us. The amount of earned media that I got because of this crazy. Hundreds of thousands of dollars for free because of the haters.
Shows your intelligence. But why I don't have a problem talking about it, because I iterated this to everyone in the house and Matt goes, are you sure you want to spill the beans? Because A, those people aren't watching this podcast. They love the super cuts.
They love the super cuts. Little bits they can comment on. And two, you are the way you are and you will never be any other way. Unless they're a person.
You are a person. You're letting the fans know. Everybody likes you. It's like, shh.
Yes, absolutely. Logan Paul, I saw that on your Instagram too. Somebody was like, yo, genius, or I'm actually liking you. They wrote an article.
Someone said the caption should have been changed too. Logan Paul knew exactly what he was doing. And he played all of you. Like, after it happened with Flat Earth and they did the marketing for us, and now it's happening with this, I'm so confident that they will never, ever catch on.
And if they do, their desire to do the bandwagon type action and bandwagon tweets trumps their ability to go, you know what, if I don't like Logan Paul, the most effective way for me to show my disdain is to be indifferent and not talk about it. The opposite of hate is not love. The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. Because the secret wins.
The secret wins. Like, if you truly, truly didn't want me to be around, you'd be indifferent to me and you wouldn't mention it. Well, in the worst part that I've seen too, is that everybody that has that opinion, another thing I've noticed, has that opinion until they watch this fucking show. So many people have turned, they've been like, yo, I didn't like to do vlogs, it was a little too, whatever for me.
Come on, and they see, holy shit, I just watched this dude for an hour and a half. It felt like five minutes. He's hilarious, he's smart, and they've got a great thing going on. Thanks, Mike, of course, appreciate you.
That's always been a huge fan. You don't have to trick me. Oh, thanks, man. It's cool to me to go into different venues and you know your audience.
So I know the audience here, and you guys want to hear about business, but it's so much fun to me. But just fuck around and have fun and get promotional value out of it, of course. So yeah, most people watching this are like selling socks, they're just like in the background. Seth Rogen favorited this week.
Amazing. And I'm so curious. He's a smart motherfucker. He's really smart.
I'm so curious. I would love to hear what he did. I feel like he knew. I'm going to reach out to him.
If he doesn't agree with something, he'll publicly say it on Twitter. I've seen him do it before. And the fact that he just favorited it and didn't do the classic, like, what is this guy moron? It makes me think he's in there or understands.
Do you think that ability to hold your own in a comedic space is an indicator of higher intelligence? It has. Yes, because obviously, yes. But I'm sure there are comedians that are just fucking morons.
Comedians are like skit people. I don't know. It depends. There's some people who are just like stupid funny where it's like, yo, that's fucked up funny.
And then there's intelligence. Most of the people that are the top of the top are intelligent. Like you look at Robin Williams. Letterman, Williams, and Kimmel, and Fallon.
They're all super intelligent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I think the comment that really just drove this one home was the pink eye. Woo.
I bet Fox Business didn't see that coming. It brings me back to wanting to see you, as I always have. Do some stand-up. I want to see that.
I want to see that muscle flex. I think I do, too. I think if I did stand-up, people would understand me a little more. I don't think people know that people don't watch me.
I don't think they know how versatile I am. I do so many things. And this is like, you text me. You go, great acting.
This is a character. The character is a frat boy. Like, I don't really know what I'm doing. I'm the fastest man on the planet.
I got pink eye. Like, this is not me. And I watch it back. And knowing what the reaction would be, I get so much joy.
It's like a higher level of self-deprecation. Like, you know that the result of your actions here is going to be people shitting on you, but you do it because you know the value of it. Like, you're saying, like, it's the value. He goes in and he just talks to normal.
Oh, yeah, Facebook, YouTube, blah, blah, blah. Nobody watches it. You don't watch TV and you're like, oh, that's plain Jane family. Let's watch this.
This is great. No, I can see what happens in your life all the time. Ticket sales for challenger games are spiking today because of this. It might be great job.
Let's see if we can get this to play. Well, gold was up pretty big yesterday. I'm definitely going downhill from here. Yeah, absolutely.
I'm terrified. I think it's the beginning of the end. That's my favorite part. Let's talk about that.
So she asked me about my finances. And yo, some of the headlines. I mean, the headlines are one of the funniest parts about this. I actually want to pull them up here.
I mean, you can Google what's happening here. Logan Paul, $1 million a month YouTube star says he may be playing broke. Logan Paul, warrior profit says it's the beginning of the end of Fox business. Logan Paul insists he's no longer controversial YouTube star during Fox business.
Well, because that's the narrative we're going with now. X-controversial YouTubers. Which is great. Craziest moments.
How did you get out of the X? How did you get the X? Because, bro, I'm just not saying shit that's going to be in trouble anymore. I'll say shit that makes people talk.
But like trouble? Also, I think it was the first sponsorship that gave that X. Oh, yeah. We got sponsors now.
By the way, we move product. You want to be sponsored? I mean, what's good. So my question is, how much sponsorship has at Jordan on Twitter pulled in the past?
Yo, but that's, no, but. Actually, no, you're right. He should have put a pre-roll in front of this. The question is, is Jordan also playing the game knowing that that's going to get me?
Also, Jordan didn't really say anything. He just said, well, it was something. And indeed, it was something. Left it for interpretation.
Some people love it. Some people hated it. But one of the headlines, the headlines are my favorite. One of my favorite was Logan Paul.
Ex-controversial YouTube star, in quotes, Logan Paul is going broke and has pink eyes. This was Daily Mail. You know? Come on.
I also have pink eyes. No, it is. There's a two-week incubation period. I had to let her know, bro.
My eyes look like a fucking cyborg on live television. And I'm just going to be sitting there not addressing pink eyes. That's hilarious. With how close your eyes right there.
On the KFC Barstool interview, I mentioned it on every press interview that day, by the way. He goes, I'm like, I think I know. I can see it. He goes, what do you mean, guy?
I look over it. You look like some sort of infectious Johnny Bravo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So overall, the trip to New York was great.
It was phenomenal. And by the way, if I didn't do this, I don't know if it would have been worth it. I went there for media and for press. That was my job.
And they want views. So the army of haters and Logan Paul naysayers is my army. I control them. They don't even know it, which is why it's such a subconscious puppeteering of a large group of people knowing that they thrive on Logan Paul-type negativity.
I'm literally banking my entire career on them. Please. You used it in the past and it's hurt you. Yeah, that's true.