Looking beyond the knight in shining armour

Summary In this conversation, Arneen, a dating and relationship coach based in New Zealand, discusses the dating culture and challenges in the country. She highlights the relaxed and slow-paced nature of dating in New Zealand, as well as the limited dating pool. Arneen also explores the influence of Maori culture on relationships, emphasising the collectivist and family-oriented values. The conversation delves into the concept of men as prizes and the importance of managing expectations in dating. The impact of personal growth and environment on relationships is also discussed, along with the need to look beyond the idealised image of a knight in shining armour. The conversation explores the projection of ideal partners and the importance of looking beyond these projections. It delves into the impact of upbringing and society's conditioning on relationship expectations. The desire for safety and security, as well as the need to feel seen and special, are discussed. The concept of knights in shining armor and the tendency to overlook important qualities in partners are examined. The conversation also addresses the impact of masculine energy in relationships and the importance of balancing masculine and feminine energies. It challenges stereotypes and superficial expectations, and highlights the importance of understanding men's desires and emotional capacity. The conversation concludes by emphasising the appreciation of natural beauty and authenticity, as well as the intentions behind chivalrous gestures. In this conversation, Alan & Arneen discuss the impact of modern dating and the role of dating apps. She shares her personal journey to becoming a relationship coach and highlights the importance of self-discovery and personal growth in building healthy and meaningful relationships. Arneen emphasises the need for deep conversations and early exploration of values and boundaries in relationships. Overall, the conversation highlights the challenges and opportunities in navigating the world of dating and relationships in the 21st century. Takeaways Look beyond projections and explore the depths of a person's character. Balance masculine and feminine energies in relationships for a healthy dynamic. Understand men's desires and emotional capacity for better communication and connection. Self-discovery and personal growth are essential for building healthy and meaningful relationships. Having deep conversations early on in a relationship can help avoid wasting time on incompatible partners. Chapters 06:02 The Kiwi Way of Dating 07:46 The Man Drought in New Zealand 13:19 The Perception of Men as Prizes 14:36 Managing Expectations in Dating 25:03 Knowing Who You Are in Relationships 28:08 The Impact of Environment on Relationships 32:07 Looking Beyond the Knight in Shining Armor 34:02 The Importance of Looking Beyond Projections 35:21 The Impact of Upbringing and Society's Conditioning 36:17 The Desire for Safety and Security 37:23 The Need to Feel Seen and Special 38:28 Overlooking Important Qualities in Partners 39:01 The Impact of Masculine Energy in Relationships 40:04 The Importance of Balancing Masculine and Feminine Energies 43:13 Differentiating Between Healthy and Toxic Relationships 50:33 Challenging Stereotypes and Superficial Expectations 52:25 Understanding Men's Desires and Emotional Capacity 54:09 Appreciating Natural Beauty and Authenticity 57:09 The Intentions Behind Chivalrous Gestures 58:06 The Impact of Modern Dating 01:13:34 The Influence of Dating Apps 01:21:20 Deep Conversations and Early Relationship Exploration 01:26:53 The Importance of Self-Discovery and Personal Growth Alan Watts - The Love Engineer. Alan is a relationship coach, working with divorcees and singles who have come out of a long term relationship, and would like to move forward in to a healthy, loving and lasting relationship. Alan's socials can be found on his link tree