Mary's Yes

Because I came into the practice of faith through a distinctly protestant doorway, I didn’t know, early on, what to make of the Catholic of veneration or even emphasis on Mary, the mother of Jesus. The way I’d heard the story told, Mary was almost a bystander to her own pregnancy; a tertiary figure watching the Spirit of God and a few angels conspire to bring Good News to the planet. Of course, like so many others, the older I’ve gotten and the more I’ve actually wrestled with God as a part of my faith experience, the more I’ve needed models and examples for what faith and faith practice look and feel like in raw human form. Mary’s “Yes” is a model and a guide to me. What would have happened  if, when I was presented with my ownreligious breakthrough moment,I said something more like Mary said.Because she didn’t leap directly into the story with enthusiasm and a smile.She paused, like Mary Magdalene at the threshold of Jesus’ tomb years later.What if I were to have said, “I don’t want this” or “I don’t think I’m capable.”And maybe that’s how faith works?Or maybe that’s faith, too? to pause and worry and question and even doubt.Maybe it’s like Jesus asking people to extend their hands or take up their mats or wash off their faces in a certain body of water. Maybe the acceptance of the gift actualizes the gift moment. Maybe receiving the gift in whatever posture it is received(because very few of those people “believed” in God the way the religiously minded mean today) means the gift becomes fully a gift.  Or Maybe I’m wrong. I don't know. What I do know is that Mary said “Yes,” that it cost her to do soand that I’m thankful she did.I’m also thankful she said “yes” after asking “How will that work?”I’m thankful faith can look like saying “That makes no sense to mebut I’m willing to try.”Because that’s what faith looks like for memost of the time; it looks like ”Ummm… sure… yes…?”and then sometimes long seasons of waiting to seewhat I said “yes” to come to life.  In Mary’s case, it was 30 years before the thing, she said “yes” to came to fruition in any way like the way it was promised.I said “yes” to this whole faith journey thing about 30 years ago years now and I’m still saying “How does this work?”I’m still saying “that makes no sense to me”and I’m still saying “I’m willing to try…May it be with me as you say.”I am still thankful, perhaps now more than ever, that, every Advent / Christmas season, I get to pause briefly and remember that the Story hinges at one point on the faith and courage of a young woman whose “Yes” sounds far less like the triumphant, big-chested declarations of heroes and mythical figures, and far more like mine.  Links For Justin:Read Justin's SubstackOrder In The Low - NEW Book with Scott EricksonCoaching with JustinOrder In Rest - New Book of PoemsOrder Sacred StridesJustinMcRoberts.comSupport this podcastNEW Single - Let GoNEW Music - Sliver of HopeNEW Music - The Dood and The BirdThe Book - It Is What You Make itHearts and Minds Amazon Barnes and Noble