Meeting Our Greatness

There is much to be learned from today’s Gospel lesson, but the words that jumped out at me the most are the words Jesus uses to teach his disciples how to measure their greatness. Jesus calls the twelve near, saying to them; “Whoever wants to be first must be last of all and servant of all.” This passage offers us direction on how we are to walk through this world with a compassionate and humble heart, putting the care others before our own needs. But when I hear these words, I feel very conflicted. How does one go about living a life for others? How do we be the embodiment of the second greatest commandment to “Love our neighbor as ourselves”, in a world that teaches us to do the exact opposite? How do we learn to be last, when we are taught from the beginning that to constantly strive for more and to be first really is best of all? We are taught by the world we live in to measure our greatness first through the eyes of society, and if we are lucky, second through the eyes of God.The lessons of how to measure our greatness came to me at different stages and in varying context throughout my life. But it wasn’t until I entered the business world as a marketing and sales professional, that I became most conflicted with these teachings of Jesus. I have spent a lot of time volunteering in various ways throughout my life, doing my best to put the needs of others before mine. And as I entered the business world, I maintained many of my volunteer positions. However, once I arrived at the office, I gave little thought to Jesus’ teaching that in order to be first we must be last. From 9 to 5 it was all about being first. As a sales and marketing professional, I was measured by numbers and quotas, and being last on a “ranking report” such as this, meant failure and possible termination. I learned early on in my career that nowhere in being last could I possibly be first, and maintain my employment. What did matter was the number of clients I brought in, the size of the accounts, and what I had in the pipeline. The bigger the clients, the higher my ranking. The more prospects in the pipeline, the securer my position. This is how my greatness was measured through the eyes of corporate America.My thinking became very self-seeking I told myself the reason I wanted to be on top was because I wanted to help support my family, and be a good provider, and of course, this was true, to a certain extent. But at the end of the day when I looked myself in the mirror there was no hiding from the deeper truth. And that deeper truth was that I had begun to care more about where I came in on the ranking report and how my standing looked to the rest of my company,then just about anything else. I had earned a reputation as a top performer. I was proud of this, and I wanted to keep it, but at what cost?My wakeup call to realizing the cost of maintaining my high standing in the company came fast and hard the morning of my sister Sharon’s funeral. As I was preparing myself for what promised, to be a very challenging day, on every level imaginable, I received a call from a co-worker who I will refer to as Brenda. Brenda was aware that my sister’s funeral was that morning, so I answered the phone thinking that she was calling to offer her support, but this was not the case. Brenda was seeking information about a new client I had brought in and that she was helping to service.As Brenda began talking, not mentioning my sister’s funeral even once, my first thought was that she must have forgotten about it. I gently reminded Brenda about Sharon’s funeral, and then told her that I had sent the information she was seeking the day before. It is in the following response from Brenda that my wakeup call was delivered with a tone and sharpness that was void of any kindness or caring; Brenda’s response to me was “Donna, we all have problems, and I need that information.” As Brenda’s words hit me, I was stunned into silence, a feat that up to this point, few had been able to accomplish. I had no reply to the callousness of this response and to this very day, Brenda’s words weigh heavy on my heart for it was in this moment I realized who I was working for, how I was measuring my greatness, and God was nowhere to be found in that realization. It was in this moment that I realized how far I wondered from the teachings of Christ. There is nothing wrong with being successful in all we do, in fact, we should always strive to do our best, but it becomes a problem if our personal success becomes more important than other people.I realized that I had become part of a culture that helped make the phone call from Brenda acceptable, long before the day of my sister’s funeral. Through my actions and my continual quest to be on top, I fed my colleagues drive for more, and they fed mine. I not only condoned Brenda’s poorly timed phone call, I condoned the self-seeking frame of mind that led to it by the way I had chosen to measure my greatness. I had become a co-signer of this behavior through my quest to be first. Nowhere in this perpetual pursuit of my own greatness did Jesus’ message of “Whoever wants to be first must be last of all and servant of all” come into play. I was measuring my greatness based solely on my individual success. I had forgotten that regardless of where my company ranking fell, I was still a perfect and beloved child of God, and as this beloved child, I was called to live into the way God measures greatness, regardless of what context I am in. In the thick silence that had been created through my conversation with Brenda, I wondered how I let myself get so lost - And when or if I would ever find my way back?To answer this question, I seek an answer to my earlier question of “How do we learn to be last when we are taught from the beginning to constantly strive for more and that to be first really is best of all?” The answer to this question may be different for everyone but, even in those differences we can find commonality.One way we all can live into this calling of being last to be first is by first strengthening our relationship with God through intentional communication and prayer, and then, by listening ever so carefully for how the Holy Spirit is answering our prayers and moving in our lives. Another way we all can move forward in caring for others, is by first caring for ourselves. I know you all have probably heard this 100 times in the past month alone, if you heard it once, but it is so true. How can we possibly care for each other when we are so tired from the grind of our daily lives? We must take time to rest, reflect, ponder…Yet another way to put the needs of others first is to enter each new day as the students of life that we all are. Seek to learn something new about a co-worker or a neighbor or a fellow parishioner, or a different culture or place whatever interest you, but let us challenge ourselves to step outside of our comfort zones and seek the beauty in the differences around us. And then, taking it one step further, by radically welcoming these differences into our lives.One more way we can seek to live into Jesus’ teaching of how to be the greatest,is to seek God in everything: all people, all situations, all our comings and goings.And this may be the hardest one of all, given the profound and deep divide of our country and the depth of the racial and social injustices faced by our siblings of color since the inception of this country to this very day. But I promise you, God is there, in every single situation, in all our joys, in all our sorrows, in the most triumphant and the most adverse of situations, God is there.So, I invite us all, to radically live into our belovedness. And as God’s beloved children, measure our greatness first through the eyes of God, instead of measuring ourselves through the eyes of a society that teaches to do the exact opposite.And Jesus called the twelve close and said to them,“Whoever wants to be first must be last of all and servant of all.”Amen