Misguided: The Soundtrack To My Life

Chapter 14 – I Shook Hands With The Butcher Of BeijingMusic featured in this chapter:Speaking English – Isle of ManClose Encounters of the Third Kind: Communicating with musicChina – Joan BaezThis chapter of my memoir first describes my return to Japan ten years after the first time I lived there, and the several months I spent evangelizing at the World Expo 1985 in Tsukuba. The rest of the chapter describes the year I spent in Beijing, China in 1985/86 as an undercover missionary disguised as a school teacher.Back in Tokyo, reunited with Rachelle, I heard about a meeting on evangelizing China that occurred while I was away. It was led by Maggie (formerly Keda) who was now a co-leader of the Asia-Pacific region with Chris,i Ezra and his wife Ginny. The meeting provided practical information for anyone interested in teaching English there.Inspired by my two courier trips, I was intrigued by the idea of living in China as an undercover missionary. Though I was a high school drop out, I thought being a native English speaker would be sufficient qualification, like it was for my teaching job in Macau. I didn’t want to miss this opportunity, so after discussing it with Rachelle, I wrote to Maggie expressing our desire to go to China.My letter arrived at an opportune time. Maggie had just ordered a couple, Sam and Angel, to remain in Japan where they were visiting during the summer break from his teaching job in Beijing. Thinking I might be able to step into Sam’s job at the start of the fall semester, which was just a couple months away, she approved our request. She told me to meet with Tommy, who would help me forge a university degree, a required credential for getting a work visa in China.Like many members, I had committed immigration fraud by illegally working as a missionary, but I had never used fake documents before.ii Tommy had all the necessary materials, and I copied the design layout from his fake degree. I then made photocopies to conceal the crude counterfeit. If anyone asked to see the original I would tell them I left it with my parents in Canada.In September 1985, Rachelle, Peter and I were on the move again, flying to China on a wing and a prayer.... the only school that replied [to my resume], the Central Institute of Finance and Banking. Renamed the Central University of Finance and Economics,i it is now China’s top economics university. It was shut down during the Cultural Revolution in the 1960s and early 70s along with all other educational institutions, and some of its buildings were taken over by a tobacco factory. It had reclaimed most of them since then, but when I went for an interview I could tell from the aroma wafting through the campus that the factory was still operating in at least one building.My interviewer told me that a teacher they were expecting to come from the U.S. had backed out, so he was relieved to receive my letter. After a brief interview, he was doubly pleased to hire me on the spot.The university in Beijing where I taught English in the 1985/86 school year. I did not take this photo, but it was probably taken around the time I worked there.Speaking English – Isle of Man, 1986, the same year I’m teaching English in China. It’s the 3rd song in this full album.We are standing face to face Here to talk and not debate To reach a common ground at a common place We need only communicate Just because we're speaking English Doesn't mean we're talking sense To share a common light under a common sun We need not share a distant tongueI taught twelve hours of classes a week to first year students. One introduced himself as the spokesperson for the others and said he was a member of the Communist Youth League, a branch of the Communist Party. I assumed he was assigned to monitor the content of my classes in case I strayed into forbidden topics. His English was better than the other students, and a few times he pointed out a grammar mistake I made, a subject he might’ve had more formal training in than I did as a high school drop out.Although I had no professional training on how to prepare appropriate lesson plans, I had various teaching materials left by Sam that were useful for reading and writing exercises. I also taught one class a week in a new language lab, giving my students aural exercises such as transcribing the lyrics of an English song. But both my students and I preferred conversational lessons. For those, I had everyone sit in a circle so everyone could more easily participate in discussions.My democratic approach was probably unusual in that authoritarian education system where teachers feed facts to passive students for the purpose of passing exams. Some students were uncomfortable with my teaching style at first, but I invited them to ask me personal questions about life in Canada, or talk about any topic they wanted, which helped draw in those who didn’t see the value of unstructured learning.There were few opportunities outside of class for students to hear native English speakers, so showing them a movie was another tool I used to help them improve their aural comprehension. I had a videocassette recorder that Sam and Angel left behind, and about 50 films to choose from. Movies were the only form of outside entertainment Family members were permitted. We couldn’t watch any movie, though, only ones that were approved by leaders based on Berg’s spiritual criteria. They couldn’t contradict his teachings in any way and had to have positive, inspiring messages with happy endings.”iiThe Family’s spiritual censorship was similar to China’s censorship of “spiritual pollution” from western culture that was proliferating after the “open door” economic reforms. At the beginning of 1986 the government issued strict censorship guidelines for foreign films: no sex, violence, decadence, superstition, distorted history or science, or anything that could harm diplomatic relationships.I wasn’t aware of those new guidelines yet, but knew I had to carefully consider the government’s political sensitivities when choosing a movie to show my students. The first one I chose was the 1977 film, Close Encounters of the Third Kind. I thought its happy ending, with its positive message of learning to communicate with aliens was a good metaphor for students studying a foreign language with one. It was a rare chance for them to see a foreign film that wouldn’t be released in China until 1990.Close Encounters of the Third Kind: Communicating with musicMe in the white coat outside the Beijing Friendship Store with a fellow cult member visiting from Harbin.My school also gave me a ticket to the opening ceremony of a special Communist Party National Conference of Party Delegates held in the Great Hall of the People on the west side of Tiananmen Square, where I joined other foreign experts, dignitaries and diplomats invited to witness that public part of China’s political process.Among the politicians seated on stage were the paramount leader, Deng Xiaoping, the General Secretary of the Party, Hu Yaobang, and Premier Zhao Ziyang. Hu was a reformist whose death in 1989 prompted pro-democracy protests. Zhao was the principal architect of the open door policy established by Deng. He was later denounced and purged for supporting the protesters in Tiananmen Square.I had a kind of Forrest Gump moment at another official event I attended, a banquet for foreign experts to thank us for contributing to China’s modernization. Among the uniformed officials at the banquet’s head table was the Vice Premier at the time, Li Peng. After speeches and dinner, Li strolled the room speaking with some of the guests. When he got to my table, he addressed me through his interpreter. After a brief conversation he shook my hand and moved on.I didn’t know it then, but I shook hands with the Butcher of Beijing.iii That’s the epithet given to Li by those holding him responsible for the Tiananmen massacre three years later. By that time he was the Premier, the person who declared martial law and sent troops and tanks to violently end the student-led democracy protests. Thousands were injured or killed. I was living in Hong Kong then and watched news reports of the protest and slaughter, wondering if any of my former students were in the crowd.A photo of Tiananmen I took looking across to the Great Hall of the People.China – Joan BaezIn the month of May, in the glory of the day Came the descendants of a hundred flowers And their fight it did begin with the aging Mandarin And they fought with an extraordinary power Everyone was smiling, their hearts were one In Tiananmen Square But it seems that the Spring this year in Beijing Came just before the Fall There was no summer at all In Tiananmen Square China... China There's peace in the emerald fields, there's mist upon the lakes But something is afoot in the People's Hall The spirit of Chu Ping is alive in young Chai Ling And the Emperor has his back against the wall Black sun rising over Tiananmen Square Over Tiananmen Square In the month of June, in the darkness of the moon Went the descendants of a hundred flowers And time may never tell how many of them fell Like the petals of a rose in some satanic shower Everyone was weeping in all of China And Tiananmen Square And even the moon on the fourth day of June Hid her face and did not see Black sun rising over Tiananmen Square And Wang Wei Lin, you remember him All alone he stood before the tanks A shadow of forgotten ancestors in Tiananmen Squarei Central University of Finance and Economics ii David Berg “Happy Endings”, June 1979, pars. 5,9,12iii “’Butcher of Beijing’ tries to clear his name”, The Guardian, August 19, 2004 Also see: “‘Every year I get new pictures’: the fight to preserve the memory of Tiananmen” The Guardian, June 4, 2026 https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/jun/04/tiananmen-square-massacre-preserving-memory This is a public episode. 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