The sometimes people are trying to get everybody wants to have the answer to and your book is incredibly positively reviewed. I checked everywhere. And the reviews are sounding. So I'm presuming the other guy that has the answer.
The question is, and this is fundamental question I'm suggesting. The book is why don't we do the things that we want to do? And my life is full of things that I really really want to do as is everybody's. Whether it's calling a Marmore, like taking the trash out or buying that thing on Amazon, I know I need an house that's causing a great inconvenience.
I just think, imagine the entrepreneur, the family member, the boyfriend, I would be, if I could just bloody do these things that I want to do. Amen. So how I do it? Yeah.
So it starts from understanding why we don't do these things. That fundamentally the reason we perassinate, the reason we get distracted, the reason we don't do what we say we're going to do, the reason we don't live with personal integrity is because of an impulse control problem. That's really what it is. It's not that we're bad people.
It's not that we're broken. It's not that we're messed up in some way. It's that we are looking for the easiest way to get psychological relief. And that's what our brains are designed to do.
That in fact if you think about ways of all human behavior, why do we do everything we do? There's this theory that many people are aware of that everything we do is about the pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of pain. This is called Freud's pleasure principle. That's all about care isn't sex.
We've all heard this before. That is not what is going on in the brain. Then in fact to get us to do everything we do, everything we do, the brain utilizes one thing. And that is this conference.
Everything we do is about the desire to escape an uncomfortable sensation. It's called a homeostatic response. If you think about this physiologically, if you go outside, it's cold, that's not comfortable. If you put on a jacket, if you come back inside and now it's too hot, you think it off.
If you feel hungry, you feel hungry, you feel hungry. That's not comfortable. So you eat some of sex. Sex is a great one actually.
This is a tricky point. You think it doesn't speak this perpetuated self by three pleasure through orgasm. I think about this for a minute. In fact, the brain has two neural circuits.
One is called the liking system and one is called the wanting system, two separate systems. The liking system, the point of the liking system in the brain is to encode memories. Memories of what feels good. The point of the wanting system is to remind you of that with a painful product.
So let's take sex. The act of sex, that's a lot of making an orgasm. It's a big problem. Getting up to that.
That takes a lot of work. The wooing and the pursuit. If you think about what's involved, there's a very good reason why we say love hurts because wanting, craving, lust, desire. Those are psychologically destabilizing states.
And that is what gets us to have sex. Is the discomfort of wanting someone craving them. Being obsessed with them. That's a drastic, crazy.
I mean, literally, love hurts doesn't hurt neurologically speaking. Because remember, the brain doesn't get us to do things because they feel good. If the memory of that feeling that gets us, that process to go get it. But it does that through discomfort.
So the reason it's so important is because if all human behavior is prompted by desire to stay discomfort, that means that time management is pain management. That's fundamentally if you don't do what you say you're going to do. If you procrastinate, if you delay, if you get distracted, it's because your brain has told you the easiest way to find relief from psychological discomfort is with some kind of distraction. So we talked about physiologically how we do this in a biological manner.
But when our body feels uncomfortable, psychologically it's the same exact thing. When we feel lonely, where do we go? We check Facebook, Instagram, Tinder. When we feel uncertain, we Google.
When we feel bored, it's not price of sports, the news, Twitter, Reddit, Pinterest, the options are limitless. We do these things because we feel discomfort and we want to escape that feeling as quickly and easily as possible. So the idea here is how you train your brain to no longer get relief from this uncomfortable state through distraction, but rather through acts of traction. That's what it's all about.
And you say acts of traction. Yeah. So to understand what distraction is, we have to understand what is not what is the opposite of distractions. So the opposite distraction is not focus.
The opposite distraction is traction. In fact, both words come from the same Latin root to draw which means to pull. And they both end, you'll notice in the same six letters, ACT I1, that's those action. So traction is any action that pulls you towards what you plan to do with intent, things that move you forward in life.
The opposite attraction is distraction. Anything that pulls you away from what you plan to do. This is why this is super important. It's too recent.
Number one, anything to get distraction. And this gets entrepreneurs all the time. I used to sit down and I'm like, okay, now we're going to be brought up. I'm going to do that thing that I've been requesting.
And I'm finally going to be that hard task. Here I go. Right after taking now. Right after I do that other thing.
I need to do it. I'm going to be like, feel productive. It feels working. Right?
It feels like something I had to do anyway. That's why I call it pseudo work. Because if we give into that distraction of email, which feels working, right? It's those are more sinister distractions.
It's really easy to say, oh, you're reading the paper when you're supposed to be reading, oh, you're supposed to be working or you're watching YouTube and you're supposed to be working. That's obvious. The more precious distractions are the ones that we think are productive. But really our distraction, why are they so dangerous?
Because when do we do that? We are giving into the urgent and paying the price of not doing what is important. Why do we do that? When we've got that big project in front of us, which we know how to get going tomorrow.
Why do we do every minute of this? At least that's how people think about in society. Why do I choose to do everything other than the big projects? Because you're looking to a safe comfort.
And the big project to me, neurologic and psychological is something. And the bigger the project, the more things I'm here to do. Let me talk about why I hate to do this in a minute. The more you're to do this, I want to do this.
I want to do the more I have to do the more I should want to do it. Right? But you know, it's the more you have to do this. The more you have to do this, the more you ask for it.
I'm going to go out. I'm going to go out. I'm going to go out. I'm going to go out.
I'm going to go out. I'm going to go hang out my buddies on a safe because it feels horrible. And so you don't want to do it because it feels bad. And especially when there are other things in our world that can relieve that discomfort.
Right? Go to the public hangouts or friends. Watch YouTube video. Go on Facebook.
Those things relieve that discomfort behind us. Right? Yes.