You've read so much. You write so much. You have the wisdom of someone who has lived many, many lives. That's what reading is, by the way.
You know what I mean? Reading is maybe the only way that you can live multiple lives. Like you think about the millions of people who have done crazy things, groundbreaking things, terrible things. You think of all that wisdom.
It's all there in books. And you know, it's $10. Sometimes it's $1. Isn't it funny how similar the wisdom is there?
Yeah, I think the more you read that you come up with some sort of themes of boils down, Eastern and Western philosophy, kind of like a horseshoe. You know, they come together towards the ends. What are those themes? What are the themes of living a good life that I must know?
First would be, let's say you focus on what's in your control. Like what's up to you. Okay. What does that mean in practice, in day to day life?
So someone cuts me off in traffic? Yeah. Somebody you don't, somebody doesn't like something that you did, the weather. You know, how much of your energy are you spending, unloading about, complaining about, worrying about things that are not up to you?
And what is there any particular examples from serviceism where? Epictetus is like, that's our first job in life. Separate things into two categories. Is this up to me or is this not up to me?
And it's a resource allocation issue, right? Like if you are focusing your energy, even half of it on stuff that's not up to you, that's half your energy, that's not being focused on the stuff you can make a difference on. It's like, I'd be like putting 50% of the power of your car on the wheels that aren't touching the ground, you know? Like, do you want to put it where it's going to get traction?
That's a key thing in life. Is this up to you or not? Number two, there's something magical about water and there's something magical about long walks. This is where you find a lot of peace, find a lot of inspiration, find a lot of calmness and stillness.
Like, I'm not saying that taking a walk will solve all of your problems. I'm just saying that there's very few problems that are made worse by taking a walk. Same goes for jumping in the swimming pool or the ocean. What is it about those two things that you believe?
I mean, look, I think we evolved traveling very long distances. I mean, some of the oldest evidence of human beings in America are a set of footprints of a mother carrying and setting down, carrying and setting down a child 20,000 years ago in white sand, what is now white sands in Mexico. Like, that's just what we've been doing for as long as there are food people. And there's something about the rhythm of it, the movement of it that slows us down, forces us to think, makes us very present.
It's just magic. And I think there's a reason that every religious tradition or Zen garden has a water fountain or something. You know, there's just something about the sound of water. It's so true.
All of my best ideas either come usually in the gym or in the shower. Yeah. I mean, I don't do a lot of walking because I got it, but in the gym in the shower, I seem to get my epiphany moments. Yes, taking a break from what you're doing to do one of those things often unlocks a lot of stuff.
Okay. And you have that as a ritual every day, every day, every single day. Yeah, I try to take a walk every day. What else are rituals in your life?
The daily rituals? So I would add as a third one as a ritual, I'd be I'd say like do something hard every day, like do something physically difficult every day, the art of challenging oneself and pushing those limits and boundaries. That is a central practice and skill that will help you whatever life has in store for you. And is that is that the third one on this?
Yeah, I got the third. I love that one to do something difficult every day. And that ranges from a small as not eating the cheeseburger to as big as running a marathon. Yeah, I mean, not eating the cheeseburger.
That's not I wouldn't put that. I wouldn't go, Hey, like I really challenge myself today. I didn't eat garbage. I would say it's like, here's the positive thing that I did, right?
Like I lifted it. I lifted heavy rocks. You know, I went for I did some sprinting. I went for a bike ride.
You know, I I went for a run. I took a spin class, you know, whatever it is, the walk doesn't count. The walk is for the mental health. Then you got to do something for the physical health.
OK, so for I think we have to put something here about like we are made for each other, right? That the the idea of meaning comes from servicing or contributing to the common good marks, we just talked about the common good, maybe 40, 50 times in meditations. You know, he says, like we're put here for other people. Our job is to help others to, you know, leave this place better than you like.
Leave this place better than you found it. To me, that's the meaning of life right there. So what is the positive contribution? What is the legacy you're leaving?
Not how much money did you make? You know, what records did you break? But what is the what is the contribution you are making to the collective? That's meaning and purpose.
And quite frankly, your obligation as a human being service service. And then the fifth one, the fifth one is is just pause there. I've got to ask you, for example, on the third one from Stavicism. I'm doing something hard.
Yeah. Like a I mean, the Greeks trained in wrestling, the gymnasia was the central part of the Roman life, you know, you'd go and you'd you'd train, you know. And what were they aiming at when they were training? What were the means to strong mind in a strong body?
Like to not be flabby and lazy and not to fight each other or anything. But no, but I mean, there's something about combat sports, you know, that I think is is very primal and probably good for you. You know, just something about the challenge of of pushing oneself, not living the sort of sedentary lifestyle. I think that's, you know, whether you're talking about Zen Buddhist practicing martial arts or you're talking about the Romans, you know, practicing wrestling, I think the philosophical tradition is it's it's wrong to think of philosophers as soft.
I always wonder if there's something innate in human beings that we were designed to need struggle like we designed to, because if you think about we're in a big building here and with all these, well, this stuff that humans came up with in the cameras that they are ancestors just struggled forward to create all this stuff. So is it conceivable that they left something in me that says you two shall struggle forward? Yeah, you were you are an heir to people who crossed oceans, bought in wars, braved the elements, you know, lived through poverty and depressions, sacrificed, struggled, you know, it did all that. And you have that in you, you know, you have that in you.
We all do. And we are we're in kind the only robot and going air conditioning isn't at the exact temperature that's going to be. And number five. Number five across all religious and philosophical traditions, there is some version of the practice of memento mori that remember you are mortal, that life is short.
Talk about top of the list of things that you don't control, right? It is death and the acceptance and the submission to that fact, the awareness, the urgency, the perspective that that gives you is one of the most essential philosophical practices there is, like, why do we procrastinate? Why do we not prioritize our health? Why do we not do the stuff that we know we should do?
Because we think we have forever, you know, we think we're invincible and it's only, you know, in light of a pandemic call from the doctor, you know, a loved one suddenly going that we get these brief moments of clarity, oh, wait, shit, no, you can't go any moment. Mark's is you could leave life right now, let that determine what you do and say and think now if he's saying that in a time where he buried six children, six children, that's how deadly and unforgiving the ancient world was. And he was even then having to remind himself, hey, don't procrastinate. Don't think you have forever, you know, don't take life for granted.
And here, you know, when the average lifespan is so much longer, like inconceivably long compared to the engines where, you know, you might never see someone die in your whole life until you are in a hospital bed. You know, we have, we live in even more of a bubble. You know, we are even more sheltered. We are even more detached from the reality of, of our mortality.
As they say, death is the only prophecy that never fails. Like people think about like, well, what would I do if I found out that I had cancer, like if you got a terminal diagnosis from a doctor, you know, what changes would I make? But the reality is you do have a terminal diagnosis. Like the second you were born, the doctor knew with a hundred percent certainty that you would die.
You just didn't know when, you know, it could be eight years from now to eight decades from now, we don't know. But to live in ignorance or in rejection of that fact is to set yourself up, I think more often than not to waste your life. And so some practice of, hey, time is ticking by now in this very moment. How am I spending it?
There's a sound time. Oh, there is. That's just this there. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's beautiful. It sounds to remind me of very, very fate of all these things, right? What is the, what is the stoic wisdom that you continually struggle with the most? Oh, you know, I think people think that stoicism is about the suppression of emotion.
That's what the word stoic means to people, right? Emotionless, robotic, superhuman, et cetera. I don't think that's it at all. I don't think that's possible.
If you're stuffing the emotions down, you're pretending they don't exist. They do exist and they will eventually reveal themselves. You've just deferred it, maybe with some interest attached, right? So for me, like when I'm feeling something, when I'm having big feelings, as we say to my kids, you're having big feelings.
Well, why are you having those feelings? What is the cause of those feelings? What's your body feel like? And the practice of going, I'm feeling this, feeling this because I'm feeling as a result of that, an inclination to do and then go, what is that a good idea?
You know, it's not what I want to do. Like I've never lost my temper and then afterwards been like, I'm so glad I did that. You know, I always regret it. Always, right?
I've never forced my kids to do something out of frustration and then been like, yeah, I was definitely the right call afterwards. I'm like, we had so much more time than I was under the impression. We did, you know what I mean? It's like, like we get this big fight to leave the house and then we get there and then we're like waiting in the car five minutes to go in, you know, or whatever, right?
Like, or you're so stressed about missing the flight and then you get there or you don't get there. And neither one of those things is like a matter of life and death, right? So I think for me seeing stoicism as the practice of understanding the emotion, processing the emotion, and then not being a slave to that emotion. Is the practice of stoicism that I think I struggle with, but I think when you read the private thoughts of the Stoics, you see that they were also struggling with, you know, people are frustrating.
Things are annoying, you know, things go sideways, but then how you deal with that. That's what that's what matters. And that's the control you have. Yeah.
And it is a practice, isn't it? Because we all get frustrated with things. I get frustrated with so many things. Yeah.
Because you have high standards, you have expectations, wanting things to be a certain way, needing them to be a certain way. That's like the root of so much of the tension and problems that we we have. And the question I ask is why? Why do I need them to be a certain way?
Yeah, you don't. You know, I need everything to be a certain way or I won't be able to do what I do. And then you're like, wait, how fragile am I that I can't, I can't adjust. I can't adapt.
You know what I mean? Like you it's because you can want it or request it or you think you should have it. That's what sets you up. But epicly to sustain is he says, like, I don't want things to be a certain way, wants them to be the way that they are.
That is the path to peace. And I think about it. It's like, Hey, like, if I wake up and I go, I need the weather to be a certain way today, well, then there's a pretty big chance that I'm not going to be happy. I was talking to my friend, his name is Shaka Smarties, the head basketball coach at Marquette, he lived in Texas.
He was a head coach at Texas and he moved to Marquette where it's colder. And I said, what's the weather shift like? I said, something like, you know, are you more of a hot weather guy or a cold weather guy, you know, and he goes, I'm a dress for the weather guy. And I was like, that is no system right there, dressed for the weather.
You know, like, I don't care what it is. I'm good. I'm good either way. Yeah, I'll figure it out.
I love that. And the conflict I have is the stoics must have understood the importance of detail and small things. Sure. So, you know, that's why, yeah, but at the same time, they also understand how that can quite easily rob you of that obsession to do.
Yeah. Yeah. Or like routine is important, right? This is the order I like to do things.
This is when I'm at my best. But what if that routine becomes almost a religion, which becomes almost a kind of fragility, you know, that's the problem. Shit, what am I going to do? I need, I need my special socks, you know, whatever.
I can't know. I need 10 minutes before and you're like, OK, you know, you're not diffusing a nuclear bomb here. Like, you're going to be fine. Two things can be true at the same time.
Yeah, it's better. With a stoic, say, um, there's there's such a thing as preferred in difference. So the basically, the stokes are like, if it's in your control, great, it's not in your control, it's not worth thinking about. But they said there's still some things that's better to have than not have, right?
Like, like, it's better to be rich than poor. It's better for it to be, you know, nice weather, not nice weather, right? And so the idea is you're going to be fine, regardless, right? So if you can, you know, I am good.
I'm a dress for the weather guy. I can thrive in any and all situations, right? That's the first thing that has to be true. And then the second thing is to be true, which can be true is, but if you ask me what I want here, this, here's the circumstances or situation that if it's in my power, that's what I'm going to choose.
I don't need it. I can do great in any and all situations. But if you ask me, do I want it to be cold in here or warm in here? I'm going to tell you the temperature that I like, because I know that it gets too high, then I start to be warm and then I get the stress, you know, like, you can, you can know what it's nice to have, but not need it.
Of all the things that, you know, you've read about in stoic philosophy and wisdom, fewer lying on your deathbed and you had the entirety of the world as the audience. Oh, and you could just say one thing that you believe would be of most benefit to that audience, to relieve them of their suffering the most, to, you know, to leave them with one last statement from Ryan Holiday drawn from his readings of stoic wisdom and philosophy. What might be the insight, the last daily stoic. What I say is short of last breath.
We know Marcus Aurelius is sort of last words, his last words in, in meditations or about sort of, Hey, man, this is the play. It only got three acts curtains coming down. Did you do a good job? You know, they're talking to himself like that.
It's pretty beautiful. And then in real life, he's probably dying of the plague. He, his friends are all around him and they're weeping and crying. And he goes, what are you crying about?
Like, don't think about me. So think about your, you think about your life. Don't try to, you know, do what you can with the time that you have left. And you can't see something like that.
Like, Hey, the whole, the one, the one benefit of people dying is the one way that they can go on living after they die. One way they can improve us and help us after they're gone is, is the reminder of the fact that they're not here, which will be true for you at some point. And that's one of the things that the loss of people that we love can do for us. It's like, Hey, none of us get forever.
The song ends at some point. And so what did you, what did you do with the time that you've got? And the fact that you get tomorrow and I don't is a gift that you should not take for granted. What you just listened to was a most replayed moment from a previous episode.
If you want to listen to that full episode, I've linked it down below. Check the description. Thank you.