Brought to you by CHL, a biblically-based alternative to health insurance. Learn more at chministries.org slash budget. I want to put some advice on bringing up estate planning with my multi-millionaire in-laws who are unwilling to have a conversation with my husband and I, but state that he and his brother will both be taken care of when they pass. How do we inquire so we know where the assets are in the event of long-term care or their passing?
Wow. Man. Sounds like you've tried, and they're not interested. So I'm not sure that there's some unique strategy we're sitting on top of, because it sounds like they're like, look, you're fine, we'll let you know when we're gone.
Sounds like to me. Yes, essentially. Yeah, they're 50-50. It's just my husband and his brother, and they said, you know, you're taken care of.
Let me ask you this. What is it that you all want to know? Let's just assume that they were like, sure. What is it that you're looking to discover?
Well, mostly there are multiple properties involved, as well as a business that my father-in-law owns, and we have no idea, because we're not in that specific field, what we would need to do in the event of potentially selling that or his passing. So yeah, that's our major concern. All right, so that reveals the answer to my next question, Rachel, is going to be why. Why do you want to know what it is that you want to know?
It seems like you guys are trying to be thoughtful, strategic. Yeah, and how have the conversations gone so far? Because you obviously know that they're not interested in talking about it. So who has brought up the idea of having these conversations to them?
So my husband has brought them up. He is the oldest, and we have a young family, so he's kind of more thinking about the future for those reasons. And they've also made it very clear that they do not want me involved in the conversations. So that's another added bonus.
Well, do you have a good relationship with them now? Fairly. I mean, we're not best friends, but it's not adversarial. And what about his brother?
Is he married? He is not. Okay. I think you've got to take a sign here.
And I'm going to go back to my line of questioning. So to the best of your ability, you guys need to just run a scenario, it feels like to me, where you go, all right, let's say they give us this property and that property. What would we need to know to be able to be prepared to make the most of that? Go ahead and run that exercise out.
You don't need to know which ones. If you know the whole portfolio, and you know that you could get... I mean, let me just walk you through this. How many properties are we talking about total?
Three properties, two are rentals. One is a main home in which they live in, and the total is about $2.5 million. Okay, great. And their own assets.
So go do your homework on those three properties. What is it that you feel like you would need to know if you were to come into ownership today? Whatever you told us your concerns were, go ahead and figure that out. Yeah, and I think, too, Megan, you can only control what you can control.
I mean, you guys are going to ask them, and they're not going to give it. So yeah, like Ken said earlier in the call, we don't have some secret line to give you that suddenly they decide to tell you everything. So what I would do, what I can control, if I was in your scenario, and this was my parents, is my sibling. Because that's where the budding heads can start to happen, the fracture relationships.
It's not the parents, because if they're gone, they're gone. Who's left is him and his brother. So if I were him, I mean, I would get in a room with his brother and be like, hey, let's just play, like to your point, let's play out some scenarios so we can plan out as much as we can with the information we have. And then that's all we can do.
I mean, so I would just make sure that that relationship is in a healthy place, because the calls that we do get a lot on here are when a family member dies, and it's handed off to siblings and adult siblings and other kids. It starts to get messy and all this. So if you can shore up that relationship, that's what you can do. But yeah, I mean, you can't force them to tell you guys.
And we're on Team Megan, okay, Megan? So take this the right way. I'm on your team, okay? They've made it clear for some reason, and I'm not a therapist and nor am I a mind reader.
But it's pretty clear to me that they've made it clear that they don't want you involved. So they're feeling something. Whether you did something or not, that's not the point. The point is, they've laid out a boundary.
I feel like, and it doesn't matter why, we don't know, and you may not know. But you need to respect the boundary, because it's only going to create what Rachel is saying, some tension. So you need to go, you know what? A, they're not my parents.
B, they've made it clear to my hubs that they don't want me involved. So you know what? I'm not involved. And that would be my advice from a relationship standpoint.
Let this go, because I can tell you that we can feel it on you right now. There's some angst that you have. You can hear it on you, because this is irritating to you. And that's okay.
But you've got to deal with that, because you don't have control. Rachel nailed that. So sorry we can't give you a hack, other than hiring some former CIA operative. Yeah, and I think the family money dynamic, you want to wade in carefully, especially as an in-law.
And my in-laws are so wonderful. They are very open with us. And every other year, we get together as a family. And his dad has even said to the in-laws, I want your thoughts and opinions.
I mean, they're very kind in that way. But I'm still very aware. I'm not their kid. You know what I mean?
There's still a, and even within the Ramseys, they know everything. And again, mom and dad would love and appreciate and respect the opinions of the in-laws, for sure. But there's still just that small level of just social awareness of like, okay, these are not my parents, or I'm the in-law, that I think is appropriate to, I don't know, maybe people disagree with that. But I think there's a level of like, when you are their kid in blood, there's a level of holding that they have, and an in-law never will.
Yeah, I mean, what went off in your head when you heard her say, they've made it clear that they don't want me involved. I'm just curious, your female intuition, and also your professional intuition. What did you think? That it's obviously not a great relationship.
That's what I thought. Because then you asked her, and she said, fairly. It's okay, yeah. When someone asked me, if you asked me, do you have a good relationship with somebody, and if I drop fairly on you?
That's probably not going well. I don't think it's great. So, in her defense, they could just be very private people, that don't feel comfortable regardless of whether they have a relationship or not. And her reasons were good, but I think they can get their, the reasons why, I think they can plan for it either way.
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