My Shadow Walk Changed Me. Here's Why!

This episode is raw, real, and straight from the soul. I’m sharing 8 powerful lessons that came through during a deep shadow walk—where I met my rage, held my grief, and saw my doubt for what it really is: unprocessed pain begging for belief. We talk healing. We talk integration. We talk about how to re-parent the inner child in real time… with love, praise, encouragement, and trust. You’ll hear how suffering can be sacred when we stop resisting it. How anger, when honored, becomes clarity. How living as loving awareness isn’t a goal—it’s who we already are when we stop pretending. This is for anyone doing the work. Anyone learning to trust the breakdown. And anyone ready to stop defining themselves by old wounds and start embodying who they really are now. Watch my highlight reel of the walk here: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DIroXSUTVDE/?igsh=Y21oc293OW1maGw= Connect With Matt Travis (the genius behind the Shadow Walk idea): https://www.instagram.com/thepotentialu?igsh=MXc3eGRuazdhM2xwYQ== About Your Host, Megan Nolan: Megan helps highly sensitive, ambitious women 40+ overcome anxiety holistically so they can excel in life without losing themselves. With 20+ years as a yoga instructor & personal trainer, she teaches mind-body tools to break free from stress and thrive with impact, freedom, and joy. She is a: 📚 Bestselling Author | 🎙 Podcast Host | 🌎 Mental Health Advocate Check Out Her Website: https://www.megan-nolan.com/ Follow Her On Instagram: www.instagram.com/iammegannolan   Please find the show notes below. Since it is a transcription, there may be spelling errors and/or weird grammar. Ignore that and enjoy!  My shadow walk changed me8 lessons that I learned on Saturday whenI went on a five mile journey into mysoul. Deeper than that of course, but anactual physical five mile journey thattotally transformed who I am. Istarted the walk as one person and I amvery much a different person nowand that was the intention of thisjourney. So my friend Matt Travis.Was given this idea ofguiding people all around the world onthis shadow walk. Shadow walk beinga walk with the intention ofconnecting to anddeepening your relationship with yourshadow aspects of yourself that youmaybe are frustrated by, or you maybehave outgrown, or maybe are slowing youdown, or different patterns that are partof who you are but aren't necessarily.Serving the expansion that you want toexperience so that you can continueforward on your journey. They're part ofyou nonetheless. And so they hold the keyfor deep self-awareness, deep selfunderstanding, deep self loveultimately. And so thejourney was really interesting. So aroundthe world, we all simultaneously went onour own walk, Matt said so beautifully.It's not about distance, it's aboutdepth, right?And it's not about, youknow. Do walking the 26 mile path thathe walked. It's doing what you feelcalled to do, but do it veryintentionally. So he set out this wholejourney for us with these deep divingjournaling questions and a reallybeautiful playlist. Some true to formdidn't realize that we won't weren'tsupposed to do this prep workreally ahead of time. I didn't know thattill we went to the kick off call and so.I had done a big part of what he hadgiven us in the prep work, thisjournaling exercise. Andso standard, standard Capricornhigh achiever over here was like, OK,should I start the homework already?Sure.OK. So before I even went on the walk, Ihad a massive rage release.What?Yeah, I know. Crazy. It's it was ait was a it was anexperience. So thishappened on Thursday. We went on the walkon. Saturday. So twoishdays before I wasnoticing, based on the journaling workthat I did, a lot of shame that Iwas holding in my life, inmyself, around myexperiences, around my progress,around debt, around just alot of things. And I was like, wow, thisis interesting. I I didn't realize howmuch shame there was. At adeep level, and I've worked on my shamebefore and but I do know that shame andguilt is a very potent pattern ofself-sabotage and a pattern of the mindthat the mind uses to keepus in these shadow elements and keep usin these limited beliefs and theselies of limitation and these strugglestories and. So I was aware ofthis before, but not at this level.So I started to really name this, thisshame that was, you know, they'relingering underneath the surface. Andas I was driving home from a B andI meeting, I was thinking about this andI was feeling this deep emotion of itcause I knew I was gonna go on the walkon Saturday and you know, me, me, me, I'mlike a bit of a keener. So I start tolike really dive into it and I'mrealizing that underneath the shame.There was so much angerand there was so much frustrationand there was so much intensity that whenI cracked it open, it was like alion roared in thejungle and to the point where this ragewas like and I was holding onto thesteering wheel and I was yellingand the sound that came out of me and Iwas like, I need to pull over. This isnot a safe condition to drive in like itwas that intense. So I pulled over. Over.I had my whole range released multipletimes andafter I had it, I didn't need to namewhere it was coming from or why, becausethat's not as important as allowing thefeeling to be felt right. This is whatI've learned from my somatic experiencingtherapist, which is allow the feeling tobe felt so that it can be completed.Because as you may or may not know, assomeone who has high functioning anxiety,my approach to.Before I learned all the tools, thedefault mode to handling that and whathappens with a lot of people with highfunctioning anxiety is a fight responsein stress. So that that like actiontaking, get after it, go, go, go, go, go,go, go. And so because that was just anongoing cycle, it wassomething that when I felt like I wasable to and let it out of me andlike have that battle cry ifyou will. After it wascompleted, which didn't take much, ithappened twice. It was really intense.And then I just sat there and I was likeblissed out.I know, kind of crazy to go from onewild extreme to the other. But whathappens is when we allow the feeling tobe felt and we hold space for it and weallow that cycle to be completed,we allow our nervous system to come backto a more steady state. And sobecause that energy was diffused andexpressed on the other side of that,at least for me, was a verydeep settled peace.And it was so interesting. And I thought,wow, thispart of my shadow, thisfear of holdinganger and allowing anger to come out,which was a. Deeplyingrained pattern. So my father, youmaybe have heard me speak to him before.He was a very brilliant, wise man,navigated his own clinical depression,was likely autistic, was superintelligent. He was a neuroanesthesiologist, like the person thatputs you to sleep for brain surgery. OK,so he was a smart guy.But he would lose his temper and he wouldget really angry sometimes and he didn'treally know how to regulate. And so hewould just yell. So as a kid, I wasreally scared of anger. So I've always,you know, deferred away from angerbecause I didn't like that energyaround me and I didn't like it in otherpeople and I didn't like it in myself. SoI didn't really allow myself toexperience anger. So when I felt thisdepth of anger that came out of me andrealizing that anger that's repressed andsuppressed and depressed. Turns intorage, right?It continues to fester.And so when I allowed it out of me, itwas deeply cathartic. AndI was like, wow, this iswow. It was like apiece that I've never felt like a pieceafter a three day spa treatment and amassage and acupuncture and like someoils, like vibes. And I thought, wow,this is so interesting. So that's how Istarted the shadow walk. So they then,OK, so that was Thursday. A couple dayslater, I'm ready to go. I'm like veryintentional with my sleep and my morningroutine. I did my morning routine beforeI left. I live in Maui. And so, you know,it gets hot here. And so my,I really wanted to start as early aspossible so that I could have, you know,as much of my walk before high noon.OK, and so I walked on this beautifulbeach. So I get to the beach and I didthe first section of it. And this leadsme to the second lesson. Thatfirst one was to really allow yourself tofeel your emotions and and recognizemaybe some emotions are you reluctantor fearful of and and maybe they'reholding a key for you. So second lessontool key that I have for you is thatintention is so key.So I sat before I started my walk.And I sat, and I allow myself toreally settle into my intention ofholding space for all parts of myself,including the parts that I was reluctantto experience, maybe fearful of, mayberesentful of, like all of the parts, allof the shadow elements of me, but alsoall of the bright, shiny aspects as well.So really setting the stage for that tobe welcoming and to reflect and to holdspace and to just. Really allow myself tobe guided and know that I was going tohave the walk that I needed. And so everytime I sat down to do some reflection,journaling, have a snack, stretch,whatever, I left one of myflowers that I brought. So I brought 8flowers from my yard. You know, here onMaui, we have beautiful flowers allaround us. It's so gorgeous. I'm sograteful. But traditionally in Hawaiianculture, you leave offerings in ingratitude, right?As a gesture, which isjust a beautiful practice. So I brought 8flowers. Intuitively, I just wanted tobring 8 also because I had a reallypotent experience on 4/4 and so eight hasbeen really always one of my favoritenumbers. But I just thought I'm going tobring 8 flowers. So I brought 8 flowersand so then really began thejourney and walking a beach that I havewalked many times before as pastversions of me, right?I used to walk itwith clients. I used to take Bailey Wolfoff there. I've walked it with friends.I've been there. For different events,like it's been Justin and I had our fakemarriage there. It's a funny story. Wetook photos because somebody told theirboss they were coming to Hawaii onvacation, so they needed photos of awedding. And they were like, you guys arein love, so we'll take photos of you.We're not officially married, but youknow, so it's just funny. We're bothlegal American citizens as well. Soanyways, side note. Andso I set off on the walk, trustingthat I'm meant to have the walk. I willhave the walk I'm meant to have. And Imade my way through and really kept justtrusting that I was being guided andtrust that when we get quiet and wefollow the inner wisdom, that thatinformation is always available to you.And so that would be lesson #3, is thatthere is a wisdom within you. There's aninnate wisdom within each of us, right,as there is within every living beingthat knows the path that it's meant totake. And so really just trusting thatand learning to cultivate relationshipwith your instinct, with your intuitionand be present with that. And I was alsoaware of the fact that I was walking onmy own, you know, and it was a safe spacefor sure. But I was aware. And so it's soimportant for us to be aware of oursurroundings, right. And so and again,Matt was really, really adamant aboutthat and prioritizing our safety and andso, you know, just really being intuitiveand listening and and I always felt safeand so. It was a reallybeautiful walk. And so we're listening tothese tracks periodically. So, you know,he kind of laid it out as listen to atrack and and do some of these journalingquestions for about an hour at a time.Me, I was, you know, probably going to doabout a five hour experience. So I justwent at my own pace. And so one ofthe tracks was really beautiful and hadsome lovely guidance from RamDass, who's one of my. Personal favoritespiritual teachers who used to livearound Maui and I get to go to his houseperiodically at Hanuman Maui, whichis his center and do kirtan and sosuper beautiful. So he was talking abouthow suffering is necessaryfor evolution. Suffering isnecessary for our growth. It's necessaryfor cultivating compassion with ourselfand with other people. But it's veryimportant to not live there.It's very important to not live in thesuffering and not live and identifywith those struggles. But as you know,that's one of the techniques of the mind,of the guilt and the shame and attachingto these stories oflimitation and struggle. And soit was a really important piece andthat's one of the tools that I want toshare with you. Is to really maybe take agentle look, not a hard look becausethat's what your mind wants you to do.But look through the lens of your heart,through the eyes of the heart and andlook at ways maybe that we wetell these stories, that we tell them,you know, maybe aware of the fact ormaybe unconsciously that we want to getsympathy and that we want to relay ourstruggle. And you know, there's is anelement of when we have challenges, wewant to be heard in our challenges. Butare we telling the story through the lensof. Being a victim of the situationor are we telling it in an empowering waywhere we're realizing that it's happeningfor our growth, right. It's somethingthat, you know, if it happens to you, ithappens for you as one of the sayingsgoes. And so really taking a pause inthat and and I recognize that how long Ihad identified with these struggles, withthese challenges, with what I perceivedto be these things that just weren'thappening and and you know, feeling. Inmany ways, feeling like a failure and andfeeling frustration around that andthat's what led to the anger. And so itwas a really beautiful opportunity towitness that. And so as I went along,there is these beautiful, it just happensnaturally. I should have grabbed one foryou. I'll put a picture or something thatthese little coral formations that oftenlook like hearts are scattered on thebeaches here in Hawaii. So periodicallywhen I felt like something that I wasready to release, I would pick up, Iwould find one of these coral shapedhearts on the beach cause I, you know,want to be impactful and leave no trace.And so I would find one of these and Iwould allow it to, I would ask it totake what I was ready to release andallow me to, you know, send it back intothe ocean cause it's coral, it's from theocean, it's. Perfectly fine to send coralback into the ocean, right?And so I wouldpick up a piece of this heart-shapedcoral and I would give it back to theocean in in whatever it was I wasreleasing. And so that in and of itselfwas so beautiful, so cathartic and I'veit's just such a lovely practice. And sobe mindful of if you do that, you know,if you're in a forest, it's fine to, youknow, use a rock and to ask the rock ifit will take this for you and andBetransmuted for you, right?Or, you know,put a leaf in the river. Like, obviouslyyou're mindful, you're listening to thispodcast, you're going to be smart aboutit. But I just feel from an environmentalimpact perspective, it's important tomention. And again, that's why I broughtflowers and not other things asofferings. And so thenjust really recognizing that we get tolook at suffering through the lens ofwhat it's helped you to learn, how it'shelped you to grow, what it's helped youto shift in your life. And so. That was areally potent lesson for me as well. Andso that leads me to the next one is thatit's so important when we arelooking back on our life,when we are doing these moments ofreflection, that when youlook back, it's to look backat how far you've come. Sothis was very real for me becauseperiodically I would look back on my walkand be like, wow, that's I've made itpretty far, right?And so then, you know,I caught myself taking a video of of mewalking backwards, footprints in thesand, really beautiful. And then I waslike, well, that's interesting. How manytimes have I done this?How much time andenergy have I spent onattempting to move forwardbut having my focus be in the past?That one really hitbecause I don't know about you,especially for people that, you know,navigate anxiety, navigate depression. Wehave a tendency to go back and revisitthe past and look at past mistakes, lookat past shortcomings, look at paststruggles, et cetera, et cetera. And wetend to go back and spend a lot oftime going over and over,right. And thereby reinforcing thepattern on a neural level, like in thelevel of the nervous system. Becausewe're rehearsing it, we're mentallyrehearsing it, right?And so that can beused to our benefit or to our challenge.And So what I noticed was, is thatthere's so many times in my life where Iwas attempting to move forward, makeprogress, get towards the goal. Butinternally I was like, yeah, but in thepast, this is what happened. Oh, it'sprobably gonna go like this. Oh,looking backwards, but not inreflection, looking backwards in.Frustration, looking backwards incritique, looking backwards inresentment, looking backwards injealousy, looking backwards indisappointment. Do you recognizeyourself in any of that?And so it'sso important that when we look back, whenwe reflect, that you look back throughthe eyes of the heart, through the lensof love. Right. Through the lens ofgrowth and opportunity and how you'vegrown, right. We know this as maintainingthe gain, right?It's either being in thegap or the gain. So the gap being where Iam and where I wanna be, and the gainbeing the growth, the lessons, thejourney, right?Both the actual tangiblephysical journey in this case and theintelligent internal journey as well.So really using it as a reference pointfor possibility and progress. Right.That's an important reminder for many ofus. And so taking these opportunitiesperiodically in your life to do theselittle shadow walks, for example, orreflections or, you know, many people dothis like on New Year's or their birthdayor, you know, quarterly or whatever itis. So this is so important because whatwe start to see is we start to seepatterns, we start to see theselessons, these challenges that continueto present themselves. And sooftentimes these lessons and challengesare what are called divine assignments,meaning that you have been given thesechallenges, IE they continue to presentbecause there's something for you tolearn. And the lesson that you are thereto learn because of this challenge isnecessary. Sorry, that word wasnecessary, is necessary foryour soul's journey and for your growthand for your evolution. That's why itkeeps coming back up, right?The lessonwill be presented until learned. And sothat's why these things, these patterns,these challenges continue to come up. Andso for me, what I'veuncovered was that myuniversal assignment had beendoubt, very much a,you know, gotta see it to believe it or Iwanna see the proof or, you know, Iwanted the tangible evidence. Which isinteresting, right?And maybe that wassome kickback from, you know, growingup Catholic that, you know, we were justtold to have faith and just told tobelieve. And maybe it's like a logicalquestioning thing. Who knows?Anyways, wedon't need to analyze it. It's just, itwas just there.And So what I recognize again, that thatfits with the pattern of trying to moveforward but looking backwards, right?Andso doubting the possibility, doubting theoutcome, doubting my capability, like allof those things, right?Which is verycommon for people who navigate depressionand oftentimes anxiety as well. Andso the interesting thing that Irecognized was that, again, if I wasexperiencing doubt, but trying to havefaith, trying to trust, that's a bigjump. And it's a big jump that's missingone, well, probably more than one, butone really big key piece, and that'sbelief. And we can't havefaith in something we don't believe in.We can't trust in something we don'tbelieve in. And if we're doubtingsomething, we we don't really havebelief, at least at a fundamental,unshakable level. Sowhat I came to recognize at a deeperlevel, because again, a lot of thiswalk was a remembering and a remindingand a return to this knowing. Becausethese are lessons that have beenpresented over and over, right?Hello. Whyit's called the divine assignment. AndI'm familiar with this, but I was like,alright, I'm ready to look at this. Weare ready to heal this. Here we go, let'sdo this. And so itreally one of the beautiful teachings ofthe one of the tracks. So again, youknow, we'd have this playlist and so Iput in the playlist and right where I wasat and and the artist was talking abouthow these challenges are not meant to beescaped, they're meant to be masteredthat. They hold the key for yourtransformation. And that's why shadowwork and integration work is so essentialfor your evolution. Because if we don'tlook at these things, then they're goingto continue to be running andwoven into the pattern of your life,right?And in an unconscious way. And youknow, I love this quote. I've probably,you've maybe heard me say it before.Until we make the unconscious conscious,it will rule your life and you will callit destiny. Carl Jung.So. If we havethis level of doubt and we're lookingbackwards and we're ruminating on thingsand we're frustrated and we'rediscouraged and all of that, it that'swhat's permeating and running underneaththe surface and affecting how you showup, what you think about what you do,your results that you're getting, right.And so it will rule your life and youwill call it destiny. And So what Irecognized was that, OK,this is important, right, when we want tolook at these things that are continuingto present. But we get to look at them asopportunities for growth, right?Andnot something to be escaped, butsomething to be mastered. Looking at itas a divine assignment, a teaching, anopportunity, a lesson from the universeto really look at yourself andultimately. And this is the next lesson.Ultimately, learn to giveyourself what you need. IE if you were speakingto a young child or a younger version ofyourself who was experiencing the samething, what would they need to hear?And this is where we shifted gears intothis inner child work andrecognizing that you know, and of coursethere's the inner child, the younger youin formative years. But there's theyounger you, you know, five years ago,three months ago, that younger version ofyou, what did they need to hear in thatmoment?And maybe it wasacceptance, maybe it wassupport, maybe it was trust, maybe it waslove, maybe it was praise. Maybe itwas just the the knowing that, you know,this is part of the path and and it'spart of the journey. Like what was itthat you really needed to hear in thatmoment?And we gotto learn that ultimatelywas what I got to learn. We being me andall my past and future selvesand the people that walked on itseparately around the world. We we weretold here we go. That's why I waspolarizing it. Matt told us thatreally it's so important and and you knowthis that it's that's really it's up toyou to give yourself what you need.When it comes to a witnessing, when itcomes to celebration, when it comes toacknowledgement, when it comes to love,when it comes to belief, because it'snice to get that from an external source,but ultimately we're looking for thatfrom ourselves 1st, and that's the sourceas your outer life is a reflection ofyour inner life. And solearning to give yourself what you needin those moments is so, so important andcathartic and healing and.What we get to do ispractice forgiveness withthose past versions of ourselfthat we get to forgivefor what they did, how they did it. Weget to make peace with that pastso that you can, youknow, forgive the version of you thatwas nasty and critical andwithheld the love because. You didsomething in a way that you didn't likeor you regret or whatever. So you get toforgive that version of you.And then also you get to askfor forgiveness for the version of youthat you did that to, right?And sothat younger version of you that youwithheld the love for after whateverafter the launch flopped. OK, so we'lluse one of my examples. Why not after thelaunch flopped?I EI didn't get to theresults that I wanted because I had crazyhigh standards, unachievable goal that Iset for myself and and then when itdidn't get reached, allI had was disappointment and frustration.So I was very much in the gap. All I hadwas disappointment and frustration. Andthen I was nasty and critical to myselfin the moment when what I really neededwas to acknowledge what I did and how Ishowed up and to look at the lessons andthe growth and the opportunities and allof that to be in the game, right. And soI. In the practice that he had us do, weget to forgive the version of ourselfthat withheld the love and that was nastyand critical. Forgive them for notknowing better, forgive them for doingwhat they did, and then ask for peacefrom the version of you that sat there inthe corner and received all of thatstuff. So hopefully I didn't lose you.Hopefully this makes sense. It's pastversions of you that you get to reconcilewith, essentially inner parenting, it'soften called, and inner child work andjust looking at these patterns throughthe lens of love. Right through the lensof love because these thesepatterns are self protective and it's thebrain's way of keeping things familiar,safe and predictable and nothaving you stretch yourself and stay inwhere you are, right or where you were.And so that we wanna learn to giveourselves what we need in these momentsand to really acknowledge how we'reshowing up both in the outerworld but also. For yourself,ultimately, first and foremost, that'swhat this all of this is, is a journeyin life. Ultimately, we have ourselves,right?We have many other things. You'reso blessed for sure. But first andforemost, the most important relationshipyou have is withyourself, your past self, your currentself, your future self, right?Thetrifecta. So it was sucha beautiful journey. And so then again,we got to continue to have thesereminders. And so one of the tracks was.A reminder from Ram Dass that we areloving awareness. And so Ram Dass, ifyou're not familiar, was an incrediblespiritual teacher who was highlyinfluenced by the teachings ofMaharaji, of of love, ofcompassion, of presence, ofpurpose and and living from this place ofcuriosity and truth andDharma and and so a very profoundteacher. Very, very bright, beautifulsoul who I had the blessing of meeting afew times as he did live on here, here onMaui when he lived on this plane. Soyes, the track was about we areloving awareness and teaching us to loveeverything we're aware of, to loveeverything we're aware of. And thenultimately we have a choice whether we'regoing to lead from love or fear, whetherwe're going to learn from love or fear.Whether we're going to come from the mindor the heart. And so it was just such abeautiful experience from thatperspective. And and as I was havingthat, you know, Ram Dass is fromMassachusetts, so he had quite a strong,you know, Boston-ish accent. And then afriend of ours who has passed awayrecently who was from Boston literallyjust appeared in spirit form tome and and said, you know, I'm soproud of you. And it was just so manybeautiful things, so many beautifulthings. And so having this visit fromGlen, my friend that passed recently, wasjust so magical. And and you know,we, I told him we all missed him so much.And he said, yeah, don't be sad. Thiswhole other side thing is a whole otherworld and there's nothing to be afraidof. And so that was really magical tohear that from him. And so thencontinued my walk. Was holding on toanother piece of the heart coral that Ihad been holding the whole time inaddition to a stone that I brought toanchor myself. So I had this coral and sohe wanted, Matt wanted us to have aclosing ritual right to bring it to anend which is important on a journey likethis. So you know this is probably atabout like the four hour mark. So I hadgiven my flowers along the way and hadthis beautiful moment and. So manybeautiful moments. And so then, you know,I wanted to leave my coral somewherespecial. And so then I thought I wasgoing to leave it on this really cooltree. And so I put it on the tree andthen I walk a little further and Igo. And on my path was a collection of,I think, I don't know, I could look atthe photo. Oh, I made a reel. If you wantto see this journey in photos, I'll putthe reel in the comments. It's reallymagical. You're going to like it. So Icame around the corner and I found thislittle gathering of, I don't know,probably 10, maybe moreheart-shaped pieces of coral,not far away from where I was going toleave my coral on the tree. And I waslike, oh, OK, I get it. You want to bewith your friends. And so I brought mycoral and I put it with this, youknow, little group of of heart-shapedcoral that was resting on the sand. Andit was just such a beautiful reminderthat love is there for us. Love is alwaysthere. And we get to reconnect to it andlook for it, right?We look for what wewe what we see, we find, right?We we look for what we want. That's wherewe want to choose our focus. But the mindwill have us look for problems and faultsand fears and flaws and identify withthem if we're not mindful, right.And so, you know, that's the irony ofmindfulness is that. We're meant toempty our mind and be present when we'rebeing mindful. It's more mind empty,but it's not as catchy. Anyway, solooking for this beautiful presence oflove that's always there and realizingthat as we're walking on these pathsseparately as a group, that ultimately,as Ram Dass says, we're all just walkingeach other home, and we're all justwalking ourselves home to who youtruly are each day. Right.And and really the work is toremember that you have the opportunityto decide who youare and how you show up. Andthat's what Anahata, the Anahata chakra,the heart chakra is. It means before thestory, before the sound. And that's whatthe heart teaches us, is that these coreelements of who you truly are are alwaysavailable to you before the story, beforethe sound, before the noise of the world.And it's a return to the heart. It's areturn to love. It's a return to self,and it's walking ourselves home.And that's justreally who I I could even cryabout it now.And it's a really important reminderthat you're in charge of updating theoperating system.Sometimes life gives us moments where itjust resets automatically.But you can intentionally updatehow you see yourself and how you show upin the world and not allow yourself toidentify with the past or identify withsuffering or overly fixate on your faultsand flaws and, you know, failuresand fears and that, which I admittedlydid for a very long time, right?Andand still was doing to some degreeclearly because it was very real for mewhen I had this experience and so.That reminder that we, at your deepestcore, are loving awareness. When you canbecome aware of the factthat you are love, you are energy, youare frequency, whatever it is, right?That's really how you make thatshift. And you come from that place ofintentionality, you come from thatalignment, you come from thatgroundedness, you come from connectedawareness, you come from purpose, youcome from intention, you're living fromthe vision, all of it, however you wantto say it. Right. That's really what itmeans to embodythis shift. Because when you go on ajourney like this, and whether you dojourneys like this, whether youpsychedelics, like whatever it is, whenyou go on a journey, it's important foryou to have these experiences, to havethese insights. But what's evenmore important is theintegration and theembodiment going forward. Andthat's. Where the magic lies,because information without applicationis useless. To know and not know, to knowand not do is to not know, right?There'sso many reminders from these beautifulteachers. The Buddha is thatit's all about what you do with itand how you weave it into your life.And that wasjust, yeah,choosing to shift how we see ourselvesthrough. The eyes of love, right?And andreally deciding who you want to beand how you want to show up, and reallyremembering that you are guided on yourpath, whether you believe that to be theuniverse, source, nature, whatever,whoever, that it's always there,that love is always there, and it's amatter of coming back to that decisionand that intentionality. And reallybeing willing to witness yourself in thegrowth, being willing to witness yourselfin all that you've been and all that youare and all that you're becoming. Andthat's really themagic of that journey. And so,yeah, to say it was powerful is anunderstatement. Andit was so beautiful to really feel allthese past versions of me that werewalking. You know, that had walked thatpath and it was almost like we were allwalking that path together or that wewould, you know, all that I've been hashelped me to get to this point. And andnow all of these past versions of me areare giving the momentum to move forward,right. And it's that through thatmomentum to move forward and through thisintentionality of anchoring in the heartand and expanding from there andreclaiming my magic and and reallyrealigning to my vision and who I trulyam and how I want to show up and andrecognizing that who I. Really am isloving awareness and all these identitiesand labels that we put on ourselves.They're nice, but oftentimesinadequate, you know, and thatlike sitting in that. And because beforeI really anchored into that, that I amloving awareness, you know, my brain waslike, OK, well, what are you now, right?You know, if you're not this anymore, ifyou're not, you know, quote, UN quote,just a personal trainer or just abest-selling author or whatever. Youknow, and recognizing that what I hadbeen saying to myself of being avisionary thought leader with a globalmovement, that was nice. Yeah, it was itwas good. Still like super badass andreally incredible. I'm not. I'm not byany means, you know, paw-pawing,poo-pooing, foo-foofing. I don't knowwhat what do you what do youanyways,what it led me to.When it led me to, what the walk told meand what my what my heart told me, whatmy vision told mewas that I'm a visionaryleading a global movementof loving self-awareness and compassion.And if I didn't just get the goosebumps.And that was like, OK, yes, yes, there wego. There we go. That's it for now.That's it. Because you know, I canteach you how to power pause and overcomeanxiety and reduce your stress and youknow, do that stuff. But ultimately, asyou know, if you've listened and and hereyou go, if you haven't listened to otherepisodes before, two of the main tools weuse inside the power pause movement andpower pausers, you know this isloving, non-judgmental,self-awareness and compassionatecuriosity. Those are our two main tools.Power pauses, yes, they help youcultivate calm on command and regulateyour nervous system 1000%. But ultimatelywhat I'm teaching you to doand what the movement, the power pausemovement is all about, is cultivatingloving self-awareness andcompassion. All that other stuff isbeautiful and powerful and I'm here forit and you know it's great, but that'swhat it's really about. That'swhat this all this whole life thing isreally about, is treating yourself withthe awareness and the love and thecompassion that you deserve.Yeah, again, Imight cry or laugh.OK, last part, because this part wasreally cool. Not that the rest of itwasn't cool. Was it cool?I'd love toknow. Again, watch the reel if you wantto see this whole 5 hour journey in inabout a minute.Yes. Sothen I had the realizationI was just walking myself home. You know,again, very Ram Dass influenced. He'smagical. So I Iclose it off, you know, I did this fivehour walk and then by this point it'slike 12. I'm like, I'm really hot. I wasreally trying to be mindful of of my skinsafety and not get burned. And you know,anyways, then I get back to the beachthat I had launched from and it's thewhole Saturday vibe. Everybody I know andyou're all like Pilgrim from the sanddunes walking out.I don't know. Oh, I saw a turtle. OK, Imiss this part. Anyways, wrapping upshortly. So we're getting close. I'mgetting close near the end of the walk.And on the beach is this massive turtle,which is not uncommon in Hawaii. Butthe turtle, they're they're an endangeredspecies, so they're respected and they'revery highly revered as as a source ofwisdom and guidance and and representwisdom and resilienceand patience and love.Like, I couldn't have, I couldn't havepicked a better sign, right?And I love mesome turtles. And so this turtle was onthe beach and I'm like, Oh my God, thisis amazing. Turtles are so beautiful. Andthen I had one more not near the turtlebecause we respect their personal spaceand they are endangered. So keep in mind,if you ever see a Hawaiian honu, which isa turtle, you know, take a picture, butfrom a safe distance. And when you seehis photo in the real I I use the zoomfeature cause I'm very respectful.So then I did one more dip in the oceanand just the rest of the layers. And thenI get back to the beach and it's thewhole like Saturday family vibe. And I'mlike wow this is a trip. I just went on ajourney of a lifetime and a soul andand so I just made my way through.But then I knew the next day. That itwould be very important for me as part ofthe journey to go to Kirtan. So go toHanuman Maui, which is Ram Dass'scenter and Kirtan is a Sanskrit wordfor song and so it's sacred chance.So I get to theKirtan and we were inside cause it wasraining. Usually it's outside andwhere the seat was on theground behind RamDass's. Wheelchair that he had used nearthe end of his life. So they they put himin the circle like he's there cause he'sthere, he's just he's he's there 1000%.It was his home. He could feel hisenergy, the teachings, everything. So Igot to sit behind Ram Dass's wheelchairand that was really special. Like youknow for somebody that you love and yourespect to like sit near where they gotto spend a lot of time. It was like likeI was sitting right behindhim and so. Yeah, so I was like,oh wow, this is lovely. And so then oneof the hosts of theevent and one of the leaders of thecommunity was giving a little talk beforewe started. And I kid you not, like2 minutes into her talk, she she wastalking about the importance of respectand kindness and community. And shesaid, because you know, after all, asRam Dass told us. We're all justwalking each other home.And I was like, oh wow, OK,was totally supposed to be here today.And and then again, it was all of thesemore traditional songs. But this one mansang a song that he had like clearlycreated for celebration of Easter. Andthere was lyrics from one of the tracksfrom the walk playlist. And I was like,see, you cannot never doubt yourselfagain, Megan. This whole thing isdivinely orchestrated. You may not see.The plan. You don't know the timeline,but you get to trust.You get to trust in your magic. You getto trust that it's all happening for you,that it's all planned and never doubtthat again. And I was like, OK,thank you. Thank you, Magic. Thank you,Matt. Thank you Shadow Walk community.Thank you me. Thank you Pass me. Thankyou little me. Thank you all of my kumus,all my teachers, all the songs, all theflowers. Thank you ocean. Thank you sand.Thank you sky. Thank you life. Thank youmom. Thank you dad. You know, I was like,OK, wow, this was that was a quite asoul expanding experience.Yeah. So that was my weekend. I hope youhad a really great Easter. That was thatwas it. So I would love to knowwhich one of these lessons and toolsreally landed for you. Did any of themjust drop into your heart and were whatyou needed to hear right now?Please replyto the e-mail. Please send me a DM.Please tag me on the socials. I reallylike makes my heart so happy when youtell me, when you give me the feedback,cause literally, you know, to know thatthese tools are landing in your heart,that's where they're meant to land.That's what this is for. And so I just.Would love to hear back from you. Andagain, make sure to check out the reel.I'll tag it. It was a really fun littleexperience for me to make that. Butobviously the whole experience was verypotent. So yeah.And I will also tag Matt because I knowhe's gonna be doing it again because noweveryone that I've told this to andhopefully you now are like, can I go onthe walk next time?Yes. 1000% you cango on the walk next time, OK by yourselfin a safe space and you know prepared andall the things. And if you have anyquestions about this, reach out to me andI really just wanted to send you so muchlove and so much gratitude and and thankyou adding that to the list. Thank youfor being here and allowing me to sharethese tools with you. And I hope that atsome level your heart heard it, at somelevel it helped you to recognize.Something that you could do for you,right?And it doesn't have to be a a fivemile walk in the hot, hot Hawaiian sun.It can be whatever you want just to giveyourself some love in some sort of way.That's really what this is. Because asyou remember now and as you know now,you are loving awareness and youget to decide how you treat yourself, howyou move forward, how you walk throughlife and how you live. So thank you forbeing here. All the loves, all the loves.Take good care. And yeah, tag me on thesocials or send me a DM and let me knowwhat landed in your heart because itwould literally mean the world to me.Talk to you soon. Bye.