My Tears Are My Voice

Today, October 22, 2020 is International Stuttering Awareness Day (ISAD). I’d like to take a few moments out of your time to share a recent experience that happened to me when I was asked about the significance and importance of ISAD.   My name is Greg O’Grady. I am Chair of the Newfoundland and Labrador Stuttering Association, Host of SOME STUTTER, LUH!. I am also a professional stutterer, who specializes in covert stuttering.  I introduce myself this way, as a professional stutterer, who specializes in covert stuttering to remind myself of my many yesteryears and attempts at camouflaging or hiding my stutter out of shame and humiliation. I desperately wanted to be accepted and approved, and to gain access to fluent, abled-body privileges. I am a person who stutters, and those privileges are not mine.  On October 17, I attended a City of Mount Pearl Public Council meeting to accept and speak to the Newfoundland and Labrador Stuttering Association's request to have October 22 Proclaimed as ISAD in the City of Mount Pearl. City Councillors and other community individuals were in attendance.  While standing beside the Mayor of the City of Mount Pearl, David Aker, listening to him proclaim ISAD in my city, I felt myself becoming overwhelmed with emotion.  Once Mayor Aker finished reading our Proclamation, he handed me the microphone, and asked me to share the significance and importance of ISAD.  As hard as I tried to choke down and to control my emotions erupting within me, as soon as I attempted to speak, the flood gates opened.  For what seemed like and eternity, I struggled through my tears attempting to articulate the importance of ISAD.  As I looked around the room, I saw in the eyes of those in attendance, looks of discomfort, surprised, and yet, looks of caring and compassion.  Few people understand how stuttering can  have devastating educational, emotional and psychological, social, physically, spiritual,  and vocational affects on children, adolescents, adults and seniors who stutter throughout life.   Based on my years of lived experience, living with a severe stutter, I feel that stuttering is TRAUMA.  As I reflect now on struggling to articulate the significance and importance of ISAD, what I considered an embarrassing and humiliating experience, was in reality, my “VOICE” when I could not speak.   Those tears ARE my VOICE.    My TEARS communicated so clearly and echoed loudly, the TRAUMA associated with stuttering - more than any words possibly could.  My TEARS gave VOICE to our global community of people who stutter; raising awareness, education, understanding and acceptance of stuttering.    And so, I sincerely want to thank Mayor David Aker, the City of Mount Pearl Councillors, and others in attendance, for providing me an opportunity and a safe space to able to articulate through TEARS, the TRAUMA that stuttering can inflict on approximately 1% of the population; the 70 million people worldwide who stutter.    Happy ISAD! Greg