NLP Podcast 50 – NLP & Relationships

This is the most important area of your life. The success or failure of this one area will largely impact every area of your life tremendously. 1.) Pre-Supposition: “Everyone is always making the best choice available to them based on their available options.” * Find out how it is their best option and you can come to understanding. * Use perceptual positions. * Discover empathy * Ask the questions that count. * Also you can learn to predict their behavior, which could allow you to influence. * Wife gets off work late, what does she want? * Husband forgets to take out the trash, how can you inspire events that will make remembering to natural and easy? * While dating you understand how a woman is generally bombarded with neediness. How can you demonstrate that you understand this and convey that she won’t get this with you? * It will leave you with compassion and understanding. * They weren’t trying to harm you with their behavior. * That is just how they knew best to get what they wanted. * Example: Guy that cuts you off in traffic was on the way to the hospital. * You know don’t know the other battles that people are facing. 2.) Chunked up language for agreement * A lot of people are talking about politics and I actually had a friend ask me how he could get out of disagreements with new people. * Largely disagreements are only happening when focusing on finite, chunked down details of larger discussions. * As we learned in rapport, we are generally going to want to connect with others and build rapport far more often than we are going to want to disagree and argue. * It just serves our outcomes and theirs better. * There is a time and a place for disagreement. * Do this by taking the specific argument. It could be something as, “As I hate this political candidate because of x [financial policies for instance].” * Then take that argument and chunk up the language, “Yes I think it’s important that [our country is able to prosper financially].” * What you are doing here is making it difficult for someone to disagree with you. * Hard to argue for someone wanting to be worse off financially as a nation. They are very likely to agree and you can build connection from there. * It’s true to you. I don’t want you lying to connect with someone, and connecting on higher ideas, more important ideas, is going to be far more beneficial. Contact Shawn: Click Here