Notes. From the Upper West Side. A novel by Dan Wrench. Chapter 63.
Lunch is Paulie. Yeah. I was dancing around the morning I found the candy email in my inbox, but I knew I was gonna have to get serious. And Pronto.
Right after dropping the boys off at school, I phoned up the dark lord and told him, my soul was his. Start taking the vitamins on the list I sent you. He said, then find someplace private and start training Mr. Balls or whatever you call him.
I said, you know what? In fact, the sern Mendes still work at the Commodore because you know what Libby says. Yeah, I knew. And I knew fern Mendes, aka fat fern, pretty well already.
I know a lot of people who work at the Commodore. Sometimes when I hang out with Libby, it's in the Commodore lounge and one of the lounge regulars was fat fern, laughing and tossing back mojitos. Fern was a chambermaid and pretty famous for making the male members of the staff feel extra special in the manly fashion, on demand. See, you can count on the chambermaids in a hotel to know where an empty room is at any given time.
If you're a cell inclined, she can take you to that room on her work break and fuck your brains out. And fern was famous for being so inclined. So I got word to Libby that I wanted to hook up with Fern and he got back to me that same afternoon. Fern says she would love to make you Libby said in the lounge.
I didn't know how to take that. She loved to meet me. Was she being sarcastic? And in the lounge?
Why not in one of the rooms? So I had to think back on how I left it with fern the last time we hooked up. I sounded out the memory and it seemed good. I remembered it back when I saw Fern a few times about two years before she was game round the clock.
And she was real busy and never had a lot of free time. She could put together at once. So the sex was all really quick and basic and you never had all your clothes off. Back then we had three afternoon encounters and it was over.
We never hooked up again. Almost simultaneously me and Junior stopped having the big fight that sort of showed me in Fern's direction. And fern started seeing John O and didn't want to be disloyal to him even though John O was married which meant he was being disloyal to Fern by definition. So that was the short and sweet of my past with Fern.
And last April, before the candy email came and I called up Libby, the only times I ever saw Fern was when we were both in the Commodore lounge hanging out with the rest of the staff. Then after I phoned up Libby and he said Fern would love to meet me in the lounge, I went down a meter and she was all smiling with me. After some really small talk, she grabbed me by the left hand and took me straight up to room 882 where I sat her down on the edge of the bed and told her how I needed to work myself through increasing stages of arousal over and over. And that she could be a big help by bringing me right to the edge without, you know, finishing.
I repeated it for in case she misunderstood what I was up to. Ultimately the goal is that I should get just as aroused as I normally would but without finishing. Yeah, wow, so you can't do that. Not yet, that's why I need your help, if you're willing.
And you're doing all this for a girl just so you can jam and longer? As long as possible or until she screams stop. Fern looked sad for a second. Wow, she said I wish I was that girl.
I was standing right in front of her. I looked down at her and stroked the ultra black hair on the side of her head. Jesus Fern, I thought you and John were kind of a thing. She said John, no he back jamming his wife.
He get all guilty because me I was blowing him every day and soon he start jamming my kulo and he do it slow and suave. But he can't wait guilty and tell me we have to stop. I felt really close to her right then. Sorry to hear that Fern.
I said. Yeah, she said she sniffled. I sat down next to her on the bed. He kept telling me he wanted to take me out on the beach in Puerto Rico and jam me suave, you know, in the kulo.
He liked saying that. I liked thinking about it. We might still do it I think. When he get tired of his wife again then we go to Puerto Rico and I lie on a blanket on the beach and take Janos suave.
You're saying the word suave, right? Yeah, why are you using it wrong? No, no. I said, I guess that's right.
It mean gentle. A few seconds later she was sucking me frantically, almost in a panic. Like she lost an heirloom inside my penis. I failed to control myself.
Whoa. I said as I lay on my back when it was over. This is a lot harder than I thought. She giggled.
I have a theory. I was trying to distance myself. Be objective. Scientific.
I'm going to say hypothetically it's a matter of timing. I have to know I'm about to erupt then hold it back at exactly that moment. You didn't feel it about to happen? I did, but it was all over before I could remember how to use those muscles, the hold it back muscles.
Well, we go again tomorrow, okay? You'll be free. You're sure? She sat up on the bed and stroked my cheek suave.
I'll be your coach. She said in an excited whisper. From now till you're fucked date? Every lunchtime which is same as today if I will clap you want to meet Mondays and Thursdays too?
She was off Mondays. I was off Thursdays. It was something to think about. That's tempting Fern.
I said but I don't think I can swing Thursdays. We should maybe use those days to rest up. I sat up and stared in her eyes. Hey Fern, I said what if John O.
Aaaahhh. She said don't worry about him. He jamming his wife right now. Hard.
Like Adorodio. If you want me in the next three weeks you can make an appointment for dinner break. She squeezed my arm. Lunch is pauly.
She said. Notes from the Upper West Side is a work of fiction. The people depicted in this work do not exist. Notes from the Upper West Side copyright 2013 to 2018 by Dan Wrench.