Receiver mode | Dearest Beloved 2026.03.10 | DB-014 | SSU-024

Dearest Beloved,I… and you know this already because I’ve been saying it a lot, but I’m going to repeat it. I am in receiver mode.Why is that so important for me right now?Because I realize that I have destroyed the polarity in my relationships by taking on too masculine of a role in my love relationships. I was leading. I was initiating. I was giving way too much.I’m a giving, loving person. And right now, I am overflowing with love. love that I want to give to you when you’re ready, when you show me that you want me.I’ve initiated in so many instances. And I understand now why.TeamQuad has helped me get to this stage where I can be still without longing. I can be patient without feeling like I need to keep giving in order to bring you closer to me.Now, I’m simply shining.Radiating the love that I have to give — for the one, to the one — who has the capacity, who has been doing the inner work, who knows that he wants the kind of love that I do.Something else I’ve learned is that not everybody has the same vision for a romantic relationship, or for life.So I’m going to share mine with you and see how it fits for you.Because if our vision for relationship and our vision for life do not match up, we don’t have a chance.So I’m calling out to the man who has a big vision for love and life. The man who has not given up on creating the love he has always desired, but simply hasn’t been able to find the right woman who is ready to receive him in the way he wants to be received.My love, I want you to lead.I take myself out of that role, and I allow you to lead the relationship — to lead and initiate in the things that we do.You know, honestly, I’m so unfamiliar with letting a man do this that I want you to show me. I want you to teach me how to soften, how to relax, and be still and calm and know that I am safe with you. That you have my best interests at heart. That you will be there for me.And I won’t ever know that if I keep pushing myself onto men.I definitely haven’t done that in a really, really, really long time.[Laughing.] Nope. Celibate. Remember I said celibate.For four years and two months now. It’s March 2026. That started January 2022.I’m serious about real love. I’m serious about not giving up my body to somebody who has not shown me that he is the man who deserves to be with me.I’ve had men tell me that they wanted to date me, and then do absolutely nothing to show me.Mind-blowing.But okay. I trust that that is simply showing me contrast — exactly what I don’t want.Because when you’re ready, my love, I expect you’re gonna show me.You’re gonna step up and show me. You’re gonna date me. You’re gonna romance me. You’re gonna court me.And it doesn’t stop when we get married.We continue the love, the romance.I was listening to a video yesterday where somebody brought up that there are challenges — or every marriage has this. They were speaking to something negative, saying that every marriage is like this.And it just didn’t resonate with me.Because I think we can create the kind of marriage that defies what others have experienced in their marriages.I’m approaching this way differently than I ever have because I’ve gotten some great guidance.And what I’m learning is that guidance is simply [coming from] my whole, mature, healed self that was buried under so many layers of hurt, pain, trauma, programming, conditioning.And I’ve peeled away those layers, and I’ve gotten down to the core of who I am.I am living my authentic self — unapologetically.If you’ve got a problem with the F-word, if you’ve got a problem with cussing — I don’t do it a lot. You don’t hear me saying F this, F that.But I’m not afraid to use it, and I will, for emphasis.Like every time I mention my desire to create with the most fucking amazing man, the most fucking amazing love, and the most fucking amazing life.And the man out there who knows — who knows that I am the kind of woman he wants by his side — he’s the one who will step forward.I have no doubt about that.I’m not interested in manipulating you into choosing me.No. Just the opposite.I want you to prove to me that you are the man for me. That you deserve to be feeling the kind of love that I can give you.‘Cause I gave myself away in the past. I admit it. I can be honest about that.I gave myself away way too many times. As if I was desperate for love.And you know… there was…This is gonna bring up some emotions. [Crying starts.]There was the small child inside of me who was desperate for love. So desperate — crying out without crying, because she couldn’t cry.One of my deepest traumas was something that was definitely something that was blocked from my memory my entire life, but was affecting every single thing in my life.I wasn’t allowed to cry.As a baby during the Vietnam War, standing in my crib crying, my parents would spank me until I shut up.So it makes sense why my entire life I felt so invisible.And I didn’t understand it. I didn’t know why. But that’s how I felt.And maybe that had something to do with the spotlight I was striving for as a country singer. I don’t know. I’m just kind of guessing right now, because I think there’s so much more to it than that… than this… than just this one incident. Because there was so much more that happened when I was a baby to cause me to behave in the ways that I did growing up.I was oblivious. I had no boundaries.My body was extremely intelligent and protected me by keeping me from knowing, so that I would survive.So that I could get to this point here, where I have spent 15 years of healing, of releasing, of letting go, of everything that doesn’t serve me.And I can’t say that times like this won’t come up, where I’m gonna cry.For 44 years, I didn’t cry. I stuffed it.I didn’t let it come out, because that’s what I was taught. That’s how I needed to be in order to be safe, in order to not be hit.I had to find other ways to get my needs met. I couldn’t just ask for them.Wow. Wow. That’s a realization. Because I didn’t ask for help my entire life either.I was this strong, independent woman.And now I am this strong, sovereign woman who has come to understand herself so much better. Who has been shown by my own body the things that happened to me that forever changed my life.And now, I’m back in control.And nobody ever will ever, ever, ever have an opportunity again to hurt me.Because I will never allow myself to be in that position again.I am strong. And I am soft.I am sovereign, wanting a sovereign man to stand beside me, to stand with me, to back me, to support me, to love me like I have never been loved before.I didn’t know how to do it right before.I’m ready to practice with you to see if I can get it right this time.[Crying starts again.]Wow. I don’t know why saying that just brought up so many tears, right now. I don’t know… I don’t know why.Oh, maybe because getting it right is what I’ve been trying to do my whole life. But I didn’t know how.And I guess I really won’t know until you step up. Until we’re together. And we get to do this together.Because while I said I don’t need you, my love… I do need your love.Because it’s what I’ve wanted my entire life.And I refuse to live a life without love from another human being who will love me back.I’ve been alone for a long time. But only to prepare me for you. To make sure I was fully, completely, totally ready.And I am now, my love. I am.There might be times where I’m going to need you to hold me, while I let these tears that I suppressed for 44 years come out.I’ve cried more tears over the last few years than I have my entire life. But thankfully, they’re not filled with a bunch of bad memories. No.The healing work I’ve done has been amazing.And most of it’s been on my own, allowing my spirit guides to reflect back to me what I need to see about myself in order to get back to myself.So here I am, my beloved. I am here. I am ready. I am sovereign.But that does not mean I don’t need you.I know we are meant to be together. I know this is a really important lifetime for us to be able to share our love in ways that we were not able to in other lifetimes.And you’ll know. You’ll feel it.I’m confident in that. I know you will. I know you do.You’re listening to this right now and you feel it deep down in your soul.You know I’m right.This love is way too important not to do whatever it takes to have in our lives.And I’m here, ready…I was going to say ready to fight for this love. And I am. I’m ready to fight for this love.But I don’t believe we’ll really need to fight. I don’t feel like I’m going to have to.I feel like you’ll know. And you’ll step up and let me know that you know.And you’ll show me in the ways that help me to see that I can trust that you really do know that I am the woman for you.I’m being led by my… I am being led by my soul, so I know… I know I will know. And I do know who you are, my beloved.My only wish now is that you get to that knowing. And you show up and you show me that you know this is the love you want.And I promise I’ll do my best to not fuck up the polarity in our relationship by taking on a masculine role. And I’m going to ask for your help in that, my love.Because that’s an old pattern. And I haven’t been able to practice it with anybody yet. I’m ready to practice that with you.I love you, my love.I’m so excited about the life we are stepping into together.Until then,Missing you,Lana💋 Get full access to Seeking Sacred Union: The Love Story + Movement at seekingsacredunion.substack.com/subscribe