Rewrite Your Self-Talk with Ly Smith

What happens when you’re standing on a Hawaiian beach during a dream vacation, surrounded by everyone you love, and you feel absolutely nothing? Ian Bowen sits down with Ly Smith, an award-winning motivational speaker and self-leadership strategist. Ly recounts the terrifying sunset moment she realized she had lost herself completely in the roles of wife, mother, and caregiver. She reveals how she crawled out of that depression using a word-of-the-year (“laugh”) and reverse-engineered that journey into her CANDY method. From the correct way to do affirmations (hint: borrow the belief of your future self) to why “reactor” vs. “creator” changes everything, this is a masterclass for any coach or high-achieving woman who has poured everyone else’s cup dry and forgotten her own. In this episode, you’ll discover: 1. How a “perfect” 23-day Hawaiian vacation triggered Ly’s identity crisis. 2. The difference between thinking a moment and feeling a moment. 3. Why choosing one word for the year (“Laugh”) saved her life. 4. The CANDY method: Clarity, Affirmation, Necessary Steps, Discipline, You. 5. Why “I earn $100k a year” is a useless affirmation, and what to say instead. 6. How to borrow the belief of your “Future Successful Self” (FSS). 7. The neuroscience of the Reticular Activation System and finding “red things.” 8. A memorable way to create when you’re feeling stuck.  Key Takeaways: 1. Presence Over Labels: Fulfillment never comes from a title (mom, wife, CEO). It comes from how you show up in the doing. 2. Future-Paced Affirmations: Your brain rejects present-tense lies. Envision your future self who has already succeeded, then borrow that belief. 3. Energy is Frequency: Low-vibration thoughts (“things don’t work for me”) attract low-vibration evidence. Raise the frequency to see success. 4. The 85% Rule: Most people cannot answer “What makes you happy?” because they are too busy reacting to life. 5. Necessary Steps Over Stairs: You don’t need to see the whole staircase. Just the next few steps (Necessity). 6. Celebrate the Effort: High achievers burn out by chasing the next thing without honoring the small wins (moving from the bed to the couch). 7. Take the "C" Out: When you feel stuck in the middle of chaos (Reactor), take yourself out of the environment to see your own brilliance first (Creator). Timestamps: 00:11 – Ly’s journey: From 8-year-old speaker to losing herself. 06:54 – The loss of feeling and identity. "I am just dust with a J."  09:35 – Choosing the word "Laugh" to fight depression. 13:56 – What Ly did when she needed to stop losing her identity 19:11 – Introducing the CANDY method. 29:45 – Why affirmations fail (NLP explanation). 31:14 – Replacing affirmations with envisioning the Future Successful Self (FSS). 36:37 – The RAS system: Red things, blue things, and Honda CR-Vs. 41:30 – The Reactor vs. Creator framework (removing the "C"). 48:13 – Where to find Ly’s free 5-minute reset. Connect with Ly Smith Website: https://www.rewriteyourselftalk.com Free 5-minute reset: https://www.upcyclecoaching.com/5-minute-reset Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/g3mastermind LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/g3mastermind/ Check Out Ly’s Books: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B07B419X2W/allbooks Connect with Ian Bowen: Website: https://watchmemindset.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ianrbowen/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ianrbowen YouTube:  https://www.youtube.com/@IanBowenPositivePersistence CONNECT WITH IAN BOWEN:Website: https://watchmemindset.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ianrbowen/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ianrbowenYouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@PositivePersistence-ch8fk Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.