S4E5: It's Me, Diapers!
Episode 5 of the Jam Mechanics podcast, hosted by Jam Mechanics, titled "S4E5: It's Me, Diapers!" was published on December 29, 2025 and runs 37 minutes.
December 29, 2025 ·37m · Jam Mechanics
Summary
This is our most unhinged ep 5 yet. We talk superpowers, dark web librarians, and how to recognize when your favorite podcast is incapable of putting out a bad episode.Jam Mechanics is a podcast hosted by Matt (The Narcissist Cookbook) and Bug (Bug Hunter) where we are challenged to write a song demo from scratch every episode. If you'd like to download the demos: Bandcamp or websiteOur Music:The Narcissist CookbookBug HunterOur Discord-- SPOILERS BELOW ----Bug's Song--Title: Richard NoirPrompt: Structural Integrity and Failure -> 9/11 -> The War on TerrorLyrics:The names ichard, like Richard with No RI was 2 minutes from flying the coop whensome little bird wanders in out the rainlooking for helpShe goes on and on about a strange manthat's popped up in her families neighborhoodshe's clearly traveled a long ways for my helpI can tell from her plumage she ain't from 'round hereWhats a rural bird doing so far from homeI ain't got time for bird-house callsI've never been an early bird but even I know that no goodever comes from staying out this lateBut then she drops the crucial detail that stops me in my tracks"he ain't moved in a week"hmm, that is interesting. Anyone who knows anything about manknows that they are fidgety and quick -- always on the moveMaybe its time to see what happens when this unstoppable forcemeets an immovable objectSo me and the little bird fly back to her home in the stickslittle farm just west of cityville and we set up an old-fashioned stake outAnd sure as sunshine, this ain't no wild goose chaseTheres a man towering over the corn fieldHer first instinct is to bury her head in the dirt butI've crapped on enough statues to know that nothing was evergonna get this beast to give chaseThat's a scare crow, ya scared crow.tell your scared folks to be scared no morethis rare foe couldn't hurt a sparrow, ya know?With that I left her in the rain,another mystery solvedShe shouts after me:How can I ever repay you, Richard??I say: It's Ichard, Noir!-- Matt's Song --Title: Poison IvyPrompt: Magia Naturalis -> Poison -> Poison IvyLyrics:So you're walking through the woods in the US of A Got your booty shorts on like you do every dayYou get your bare feet rocking, letting the dogs hang outYou got your shirt off too cause it's 100 degreesBerry picking cause you got a hunger to feedthis is what being free is all aboutYou're kicking through the forest out on your ownIf you remember one thing then remember this poemIf you see three leaves better let it because it's poison ivySo you're hiking through Australia to a beauty spotYou ain't wearing nothing but your booty shortsJust you and the sand and the sun on the back of your neckWhen out of the corner of your eyeYou see a little windy cunt, a slithering guyYou can cross his path or you can turn around and head backYou're kicking through the outback out on your ownIf you remember one thing then remember this poemIf the red touches yella, it'll kill a fellaThat's a fackin coral snakeSo you're picking through the wreckage of humanity's hubrisYou've found a stockpile of salt and canned foodFilling your pockets as much as your booty shorts will allowYour saliva glands ache at the sight of this mealWhen up the back of your neck runs a shivering thrillThere is something amiss, a presence malignant and foulSo you're kicking through the deadzone out on your ownIf you remember one thing then remember this poemIf it bleeds black flies, best cover your eyesIf it smells like sulphur, don't let it touch yaIf it burns with cold fire, free your heart from desireThose are lucifer's heraldsBaby it's as easy as 1 2 3My mnemonics got you jogging all your memoriesIf you see three leaves better let it because it's poison ivy
Episode Description
This is our most unhinged ep 5 yet. We talk superpowers, dark web librarians, and how to recognize when your favorite podcast is incapable of putting out a bad episode.
Jam Mechanics is a podcast hosted by Matt (The Narcissist Cookbook) and Bug (Bug Hunter) where we are challenged to write a song demo from scratch every episode.
If you'd like to download the demos: Bandcamp or website
Our Music:
The Narcissist Cookbook
Bug Hunter
-- SPOILERS BELOW --
--Bug's Song--
Title: Richard Noir
Prompt: Structural Integrity and Failure -> 9/11 -> The War on Terror
Lyrics:
The names ichard, like Richard with No R
I was 2 minutes from flying the coop when
some little bird wanders in out the rain
looking for help
She goes on and on about a strange man
that's popped up in her families neighborhood
she's clearly traveled a long ways for my help
I can tell from her plumage she ain't from 'round here
Whats a rural bird doing so far from home
I ain't got time for bird-house calls
I've never been an early bird but even I know that no good
ever comes from staying out this late
But then she drops the crucial detail that stops me in my tracks
"he ain't moved in a week"
hmm, that is interesting. Anyone who knows anything about man
knows that they are fidgety and quick -- always on the move
Maybe its time to see what happens when this unstoppable force
meets an immovable object
So me and the little bird fly back to her home in the sticks
little farm just west of cityville and we set up an old-fashioned stake out
And sure as sunshine, this ain't no wild goose chase
Theres a man towering over the corn field
Her first instinct is to bury her head in the dirt but
I've crapped on enough statues to know that nothing was ever
gonna get this beast to give chase
That's a scare crow, ya scared crow.
tell your scared folks to be scared no more
this rare foe couldn't hurt a sparrow, ya know?
With that I left her in the rain,
another mystery solved
She shouts after me:
How can I ever repay you, Richard??
I say: It's Ichard, Noir!
-- Matt's Song --
Title: Poison Ivy
Prompt: Magia Naturalis -> Poison -> Poison Ivy
Lyrics:
So you're walking through the woods in the US of A
Got your booty shorts on like you do every day
You get your bare feet rocking, letting the dogs hang out
You got your shirt off too cause it's 100 degrees
Berry picking cause you got a hunger to feed
this is what being free is all about
You're kicking through the forest out on your own
If you remember one thing then remember this poem
If you see three leaves better let it be
cause it's poison ivy
So you're hiking through Australia to a beauty spot
You ain't wearing nothing but your booty shorts
Just you and the sand and the sun on the back of your neck
When out of the corner of your eye
You see a little windy cunt, a slithering guy
You can cross his path or you can turn around and head back
You're kicking through the outback out on your own
If you remember one thing then remember this poem
If the red touches yella, it'll kill a fella
That's a fackin coral snake
So you're picking through the wreckage of humanity's hubris
You've found a stockpile of salt and canned food
Filling your pockets as much as your booty shorts will allow
Your saliva glands ache at the sight of this meal
When up the back of your neck runs a shivering thrill
There is something amiss, a presence malignant and foul
So you're kicking through the deadzone out on your own
If you remember one thing then remember this poem
If it bleeds black flies, best cover your eyes
If it smells like sulphur, don't let it touch ya
If it burns with cold fire, free your heart from desire
Those are lucifer's heralds
Baby it's as easy as 1 2 3
My mnemonics got you jogging all your memories
If you see three leaves better let it be
cause it's poison ivy
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