EPISODE · Apr 3, 2026 · 28 MIN
Sexless Marriage / Dead Bedroom: The Stories You Tell Yourself
from The Secure Husband · host M. Bruce Abbott, M.A, CPC
If you are in a sexless marriage, the hardest part is often not the lack of sex.It is what you tell yourself about it.You may think:“She is not attracted to me.”“She does not love me.”“I have lost her.”“I am just a roommate.”These thoughts feel real. They feel certain. But they are not always true.In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, we talk about the stories men tell themselves in a sexless marriage and how those stories shape behavior.In this video you will learn:• Why your mind creates stories when intimacy fades• How past rejection shapes your current thoughts• The difference between facts and meaning• How your thoughts drive your behavior• Why chasing validation often makes things worse• How these patterns create a cycle of disconnection• What may actually be happening beneath the surface• How to pause and question your thoughtsHere is the key shift:There is a difference between what happens and what you make it mean.What happens:She turns away.She says she is tired.She does not respond.That is fact.What you make it mean:“She does not want me.”“She is not attracted to me.”“I have lost her.”That is the story.When you treat the story as truth, your behavior changes.You may chase more.You may seek approval.You may shut down.You may pull away.These reactions often create more distance.This forms a loop:You feel rejected.You create a story.The story creates pain.The pain drives behavior.The behavior creates more disconnection.You stay stuck in that loop.The shift starts with awareness.Ask yourself:“What am I telling myself right now?”“Is this fact or is this my interpretation?”You do not need to solve everything today.You need to see clearly.When you question the story, your energy changes. You become calmer. You reduce pressure. You respond with more control.That change can shift the dynamic over time.If you feel stuck and want help, you can sign up for a free 30-minute consultation.This is a simple conversation about what is happening in your marriage and how coaching might work for you. There is no sales pitch and no pressure. We will just talk and see if it feels like a good fit and how I can help.Learn more here:https://securehusband.comIf this video helped you, subscribe for more content on sexless marriage, attachment patterns, and emotional strength.#deadbedroom #marriage #sexlessmarriage#MarriageHelp#SaveYourMarriage#SecureHusbandAll content is for informational purposes only and does not provide medical or psychological diagnosis or treatment. Always consult your physician before starting any treatment or therapy. This includes all content on this site, email, blogs, podcasts, social media, and events. Nothing shared constitutes medical or legal advice. Use of this information is at your own risk.
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Sexless Marriage / Dead Bedroom: The Stories You Tell Yourself
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