It's Friday and this is the Ramsey call of the day part of the Ramsey network The stuff is with us in Better than I deserve it. I'm gonna help Is my first two my ex-wife for child support? Which she obligated to pay it by the court so last year I was a I've been cutting a much out and So I used to pay child support a terminated child support at that time and I also applied for child support from her With cold everything else that was a big delay in the court system So yesterday she talked to me more kind of asked about what we're going to do about the child support case in October She has three other kids we together only have one which I have a total forward I make more than her Don't come into the standpoint where she has a financial obligation to participate but the other side is compassionate and be forgiving as she doesn't have obligations and Give her that gracian and not she's a child support. Yeah Well, this is not about you having compassion or grace regarding something so do you so do your child?
So on behalf of your child should you let her go would be a better way of asking the question? What do you make good? My base is one forty a year. What does she make a 45 plus in she remarried?
She occurred married, but she might be going through a they're separated now So there's a foreseeable divorce in the future on a nightmare Right, so she had a region study at the house that they lived in she down side to something at the more affordable for her And we have a kid you have a hundred percent custody now. How was your baby? You just report to you on the city. Okay.
Huh? Well, I see your dilemma and I share it In other words, you don't need the money You can take care of the baby you make a hundred and forty you can take every fourteen year And you don't need the money the kids gonna be fine We don't have this money for the kid to have in quotes of the good life financially Dad's gonna be able to handle that you've got a hundred percent of the responsibility anyway So it's no big deal from a mathematical standpoint to let her go. You got it, right? Yeah, so the only dilemma is is there some kind of a moral or ethical thing where she should take care of one of her kids and should want to and should participate in that and so on and You know, that's on her really and you try to force her into that.
I don't know I mean I'm listening to the way you're forming your sentences and the way you're delivering these words And I think in your mind you've already let her go. Haven't you I have I would be hurtin if you search you Grow up other person and respect and say wow, maybe I did participate and they have that regret. Yeah But I have your baby in the middle of them charge for she would have that You know that sense of life participated Again, I mean you could lay that on her anyway as you walk away You could just say hey when you get yourself together I think you'll regret it if you don't come and start participating, but I'm not gonna legally force you to That has the exact same effect because you're now you're worried about how she ends up in the end of the story with regret And I mean she's she's obviously got had all kinds of relationship issues in her life and so you know, I I think it probably makes your life simpler and more peaceful to let her go I'm not sure I'm a thousand percent ready to say that's the moral or ethical thing to do because I'm just real big on babies Being taken care of by their parents It just kind of generally get as a bargain my saddle about that, you know, but but I get the whole situation This baby's not in peril is babies fine. You got the guy you got the kid.
You got the kids. You got the money to take care of the kid There's nobody at risk here. It's just an emotional discussion and If you let her go can you really emotionally let her go? Can you just say that's it and not worry about it ever again not wake up the mill night pissed off?
I can okay. I could I could cuz I can do that once I decide to do it if somebody wants to fight I can wake up the mill night ten years mad about him later But but I can let him go and I don't I don't lose an eye when I sleep over it ever because that was my choice So that's how I do forgiveness and stuff, so you know, I'm just two guys talking through it dude I don't there's no legal stance here for me. I'm you know, I don't have one. There's no moral stance here for me It's just I think you're probably gonna have a better life your kids girl I'm gonna have a better life your letter goes what sounds like to me Okay, great.
I appreciate that advice You think about it and you may want to lay it back on her and say someday I think you'll regret it if you don't come up and participate at some point But I'm never going to do that to you legally and then sign a document legally that let's her go So you don't have any temptation to change your mind later cut it cut it free cut her free This is the day Ramsey show open phones at triple eight eight two five five two two five Had a guy a thousand years ago when I was a little twerp that I loaned a thousand bucks to and That was stupid on my part because he was stupid and I was stupid and there's a thousand dollars in stupid going on in the story But right in my mouth and you know this and I got man I was so twisted up because I was I think I was mad at myself because I mean if you loan broke people money And they don't pay you whose fault is that that's your fault not the broke people They were already broke you're dumb, you know, so that's me. I was dumb And so at what right if I got to be twisted up because broke people don't pay bills hello. No kidding You know dumb, but and so you know and I'm just mad myself and every time see the guy I was just like yeah, and finally I just woke up one morning. I got to said my son.
You're a fool I said yes father. I am he said let him go because he's got you around the neck and that's the best That was I was ever spent my life just letting that guy go because it wasn't him He wouldn't have any trouble with it. It was only me. He wasn't worried about anyone.
He wasn't gonna pay anyway It was only me. He was worried about it. So as a good thousand dollars man I learned I got a whole bunch of thousand dollars of stupid tax Tuition to the school of life of doing stupid but stuff and it cost you money I'm maybe I lost money don't something stupid and you learn the lesson the lesson was worth more than lost money because you never have to do it again I got the whole rest of my life to never make that mistake again It's awesome And if you have a whole bunch of those they eventually call you wise Because you got a whole bunch of stupid but stuff that you never do again and a whole stack of those things now You're called wise so but that's the thing is just there is such a power sometimes in your own life oftentimes I know for me it is just let them go Just let them go I don't go they're not worried about it. You're the only word about it.
It's a great call, sir. Thank you. Thank you for reminding me What a good guy though? I've been asked that question.
What great guy? Thanks for tuning in to the Ramsey Call of the Day check out all of our podcast just search Ramsey Network on Apple Podcast Spotify or wherever you listen