Should I Stay or Should I Go? Part 1 - Abuse, Attachment, and Complex Trauma

If you’re asking yourself “Should I stay or should I go?” in your relationship, you’re not alone—and for adults with complex trauma, this question can feel especially consuming.In this episode of Adventures in Relationship, we take an honest, nuanced look at abuse in relationships—moving beyond black-and-white thinking to explore the complicated reality many trauma survivors face.You’ll learn how to recognize different forms of abuse, including emotional abuse, verbal abuse, coercion, gaslighting, and control—and why these dynamics can be difficult to identify, especially when they don’t leave visible marks. We also explore the difference between abuse in a relationship and a fundamentally abusive relationship, and why that distinction matters when you’re trying to decide whether your relationship is salvageable.This episode unpacks:Why adults with complex trauma are more vulnerable to abusive relationship dynamicsHow attachment styles and personality patterns (including narcissistic, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized traits) can shape abusive behaviorSubtle signs of emotional abuse—like walking on eggshells, chronic self-doubt, and losing your internal compassWhy many therapists default to “just leave”—and what gets missed in that approachHow to assess patterns, frequency, and impact of harm in your relationshipWhen abuse is escalating—and when safety requires leavingWe also talk about practical strategies for navigating high-conflict or emotionally unsafe dynamics, including boundary-setting, grey rocking, and recognizing when professional support is essential.This is Part 1 of a two-part series on “Should I Stay or Should I Go?” In the next episode, we’ll explore how to assess your partner’s capacity for change—and whether meaningful repair is actually possible.This episode is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy. If you are experiencing physical or sexual violence, please seek immediate support.If this conversation resonates, consider subscribing, following, or sharing—it helps more people access trauma-informed relationship education.—Adventures in Relationship is a psychoeducational podcast for adults with complex trauma, focused on emotional healing, attachment, and building healthier relationships.