Spontaneous And Responsive Desire

Episode 59 of the The Relationship Guy podcast, hosted by John Kenny, titled "Spontaneous And Responsive Desire" was published on August 4, 2022 and runs 11 minutes.

August 4, 2022 ·11m · The Relationship Guy

0:00 / 0:00

Summary

When discussing sex within relationships with clients John has found there is often problems with who initiates it, how often it takes place and mismatches in the level of sexual interactions. In this episode John discusses differing sexual motivations and triggers, the misconceptions of sex and the different types of arousal that most of us experience. KEY TAKEAWAYS If we take the media and entertainment view of sex we would mistakenly be under the impression that it is always motivated by desire. Desire is not a prerequisite to arousal. The two types of arousal most commonly discussed are ‘spontaneous’ and ‘responsive’. Spontaneous desire is an episode of sexual arousal without any external stimulus. Responsive desire is a reaction to a stimulus, a growing interest in sex based on something triggering, such as touch or physical contact. Be aware that like all things that we try to give a label to there would also be a spectrum. BEST MOMENTS ‘This portrayal can lead us to believe there is only one type of desire, but if we look at the sex life of most people it is nothing like this at all.’ ‘Learning which kind of desire that you lean towards and which your partner leans towards can help in creating a sex life that works for you both.’ ‘You either have a body that is sex ready, or a mind that needs to be in the right headspace for sex.’ ‘The reason most people struggle with arousal and get performance anxiety is because they are in stress, fight or flight mode, and your brain can’t do both states at the same time.’ VALUABLE RESOURCES To get in touch - email – [email protected] or book a complimentary call – https://calendly.com/johnkennycoaching/30min If people want to order a copy of the book then they can just pay postage of £4.95 (RRP £8.99) - www.johnkennycoaching.com/podcast-book-offe Want to be able to address the relationship issues in your life? - Why not book in for a complimentary call and we can discuss how you can get the new started with some new types of relationships - https://calendly.com/johnkennycoaching/30min The Relationship Guy Podcast - https://omny.fm/shows/the-relationship-guy ABOUT THE HOST I am John Kenny, The Relationship Guy - Coaching people to experience healthy loving relationships. Having spent a life choosing unhealthy relationships and self sabotaging my own success, I now coach people to live a life they choose. CONTACT METHOD Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/johnkennycoaching  LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-kenny-coaching Insta – https://www.instagram.com/johnkennycoaching/ Twitter – https://www.twitter.com/johnkennycoach} YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHTj9x6Tlo7lcIJITyx-tgQ Clubhouse - @relationshipguy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode Description

KEY TAKEAWAYS

If we take the media and entertainment view of sex we would mistakenly be under the impression that it is always motivated by desire.
Desire is not a prerequisite to arousal.
The two types of arousal most commonly discussed are ‘spontaneous’ and ‘responsive’.
Spontaneous desire is an episode of sexual arousal without any external stimulus.
Responsive desire is a reaction to a stimulus, a growing interest in sex based on something triggering, such as touch or physical contact.
Be aware that like all things that we try to give a label to there would also be a spectrum.

BEST MOMENTS

‘This portrayal can lead us to believe there is only one type of desire, but if we look at the sex life of most people it is nothing like this at all.’

‘Learning which kind of desire that you lean towards and which your partner leans towards can help in creating a sex life that works for you both.’

‘You either have a body that is sex ready, or a mind that needs to be in the right headspace for sex.’

‘The reason most people struggle with arousal and get performance anxiety is because they are in stress, fight or flight mode, and your brain can’t do both states at the same time.’

VALUABLE RESOURCES

To get in touch - email –

[email protected]

or book a complimentary call –

https://calendly.com/johnkennycoaching/30min

If people want to order a copy of the book then they can just pay postage of £4.95 (RRP £8.99) - www.johnkennycoaching.com/podcast-book-offe

Want to be able to address the relationship issues in your life? - Why not book in for a complimentary call and we can discuss how you can get the new started with some new types of relationships - https://calendly.com/johnkennycoaching/30min

The Relationship Guy Podcast - https://omny.fm/shows/the-relationship-guy

ABOUT THE HOST

I am John Kenny, The Relationship Guy - Coaching people to experience healthy loving relationships.

Having spent a life choosing unhealthy relationships and self sabotaging my own success, I now coach people to live a life they choose.

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook –

https://www.facebook.com/johnkennycoaching 

LinkedIn –

https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-kenny-coaching

Insta –

https://www.instagram.com/johnkennycoaching/

Twitter –