Strengthen Your Marriage Challenge & Geeking-out on Romantic Love

Send us Fan MailThis episode has two parts:  1) Shane introduces the strengthen your marriage challenge, an assessment tool for evaluating 6 areas of intimacy, and numerous suggested activities for intimacy building.  A 12-month tracking system is provided for you to set goals & evaluate your progress.  Download the 5-page PDF of the Strengthen Your Marriage Challenge at https://cmfcdallas.com/2) Shane geeks-out by sharing two of his favorite theories on adult love: Attachment Theory and Differentiation Theory.  He gives examples of these theories from his counseling practice and some take-away ideas that each theory can offer you and your marriage.   Common habits that hurt marriage :Needing to be rightControlling your partnerUnbridled self-expressionPunishment (revenge)Withdrawal (silent treatment)Blaming & neglecting to see your part of the relationship issueDefensivenessResentment6 Habits that develop mature love in marriage:Self confront--pathway toward honesty and changeCalming down--an angry or reactive mind is not helpful.  When you calm down, you can get clarity & wisdomBe open to feedback.  Ask for what you need using respectful language.  "I would appreciate it if you do more... or less of....."Pursuers in the relationship need to soften their intensityWithdrawers need to avoid isolating and stay in important conversationsWork toward building a soft place to land in marriageReferences:  "New Rules of Marriage” Terry Real Strengthen your Marriage Online course, Jennifer Finlayson Fife  If you would like a 5-7 min quick assessment of your attachment to both parents and your spouse, click the link. Try this if you want to take the ACES child assessment tool of adverse childhood experiences.