Test Pilot Episode #22 “I Had To Throw My Own College Graduation Party” - A Healing Moment”

At my 1st generation college party when I graduated the 1st time, I gave out plaques to family members for supporting me down through the years in one way or another, limited resources and all. I think I was thanking them for there “presence” in my life no matter how small or great. Being that I came from a “single parent” household and their were many “financial struggles” after my parents divorce when I was 11 years old. So, that was always a factor in everything. The other factor is that my parents were not able to come together to do certain things after the divorce. At the graduation party, I gave my dad a ThankYou plaque and he shook my hand and said, “ThankYou I should be giving you a plaque Kristie for graduating from college.” I made a “blank stare” and smiled. Deep down inside I felt a lump in my stomach because he was right. My family should have come together to throw me 1st generation college graduation party. They should have had a plaque, flowers, balloons and a great send off for me right? Did they not realize that I had just overcome a generational “thing?” My parents graduated high school. Mom completed some college. My grandfathers brother dropped out of primary school in the 3rd and 6th grade to help with sharecropping and picking cotton to help their families. My maternal grandmother got her G.E.D and my other grandmother was not able to finish high school I don’t believe. So my 1st college graduation party was the start of a legacy and a change in the trajectory of my family of origin and immediate family line. Well, in this podcast episode I discuss “throwing my own party” but I am just now realizing that I wanted to be “seen, heard and validated” by my own family first. My father is deceased now. He never came back and gave me a plaque for it but he did help me get back in school the 2nd time I transferred. My family didn’t exactly “understand” why I was going to college anyway. But hey at least they were “present” at my graduation ceremony and my party that I had to organize. Now this is about my college graduation. Let me make it clear that my maternal grandfather DID help keep a roof over our heads and food on the table for many years. So by the time we got to my 1st college graduation he and my grandmother had already done enough really! So, it was really up to my parents at that point to come together and throw a graduation party for me or any of their children. It may not have happened the way I “envisioned” but I still graduated! My family was there and that was what I could hope for at that time. But to reframe, I’m going to acknowledge that moment in time by doing something nice for myself. I will get a plaque or certificate for myself. And I will have my “You Go Girl” moment and move on. It’s all about healing and reframing those “broken pieces” and making them whole. I’m not mad at my family that I had to throw my own college graduation party. I just feel a sense of “relief” that I finally acknowledged that they should have stepped up and gave me a plaque too. That’s all. It’s over now. Can’t wait to create my certificate! What a relief to get that out. I hope this podcast gave you some insight on your journey. Please hug your family and tell them you love them anyway. Some of us may get “overlooked” at times even in our own families but God will always “count us in.” Be blessed.