The Cost of Shrinking: When Monogamy Doesn’t Fit, Ep. 123 episode artwork

EPISODE · Aug 14, 2025 · 20 MIN

The Cost of Shrinking: When Monogamy Doesn’t Fit, Ep. 123

from Nope! We're Not Monogamous · host Ellecia Paine

“What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just be happy with what I have? Why do I keep wanting more when I already have a ‘good’ relationship?” If that question has been looping in your head, this episode is for you. Spoiler: there’s nothing wrong with you. You’ve just been taught your whole life that love only “counts” if it fits in the monogamy box—even if that box is crushing you.I’m getting real about my own story—how I contorted myself in my first marriage until I barely recognized who I was, why I stayed way too long, and how my second marriage turned into something more honest, more spacious, and more us once I stopped shrinking and started telling the truth.We’re diving into:The sneaky, everyday ways self-erasure shows up in relationships.Why “compromise” isn’t the same as collaboration (and how to tell the difference).How your nervous system tries to keep you small—and how to rewire it so you can take up space.A quick grounding practice you can use before those scary, important conversations.Six tools to help you be fully yourself without automatically burning it all down.If you’ve ever thought you’re “too much” for wanting more—more love, more connection, more you—this one’s your permission slip to stop twisting yourself into a shape you don’t even recognize.Links & Resources:Join Breaking Free From Monogamy → https://www.elleciapaine.com/breakingfreeHang out with me on TikTok → http://tiktok.com/@elleciapaineShare the Love:If this episode hit home, send it to your partner, your best friend, or that one person who’s definitely tired of playing small. Let’s stop pretending everything’s fine and start talking about what love could look like when it actually fits.Send us Fan MailSupport the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website:  https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

“What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just be happy with what I have? Why do I keep wanting more when I already have a ‘good’ relationship?” If that question has been looping in your head, this episode is for you. Spoiler: there’s nothing wrong with you. You’ve just been taught your whole life that love only “counts” if it fits in the monogamy box—even if that box is crushing you. I’m getting real about my own story—how I contorted myself in my first marriage until I barely recognized who ...

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The Cost of Shrinking: When Monogamy Doesn’t Fit, Ep. 123

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The Sacred +Profane Podcast nephtaragrace The Sacred + Profane Podcast is a provocative conversation dedicated to cementing a better future for all. We specialize in unpacking the nuances of what is considered sacred and profane, particularly focusing on sex, death, and all that pertains to the circle of life. Our aim in focusing on such ”taboo” subject matter is to demystify what is unconscious, bring to light what has been known for centuries as ”the occult,” and empower the rapid transformation that is occurring on the Planet. Explicit Northern Sass and Southern Class Tay and Ani Come sit in on girl talk with Tay and Ani as we discuss life in Texas, girl math, food, wine and roasting each other. Explicit Bitcoin Gateway Lea meakin Welcome to Bitcoin Gateway, the podcast where we dive deep into the world of Bitcoin, hosted by Lea Meakin. This show is for anyone who’s ever felt overwhelmed by the complex world of cryptocurrencies and wants a simple, straightforward explanation. Each episode, we’ll break down the basics of Bitcoin, explore its history, and discuss its potential impact on the future of finance. Whether you’re a complete beginner or just looking to expand your knowledge, Bitcoin Gateway is here to help you understand Bitcoin, one episode at a time. Explicit The Why We Fight Podcast with Justin Stamm Justin Stamm 🇩🇪🇺🇸 Philosophy nerd. Mafia geek. Geopolitical Blackbelt. Catholic. The Real Right. Mafia Show "Payola Creator"After spending many years of research & in person interviews with various figures in & around Organized Crime & Politics that I met through my mother Diana Newlin & her real world Godfather Mafia Boss Vincent "Jimmy Blue Eyes" Alo, I began a journey to tell these stories in Hollywood as a screenwriter on how to expose & fight back against the globalists that not only act like a Mafia but nearly always work with them. Explicit

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This episode was published on August 14, 2025.

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“What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just be happy with what I have? Why do I keep wanting more when I already have a ‘good’ relationship?” If that question has been looping in your head, this episode is for you. Spoiler: there’s nothing wrong with...

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