The Eucharistic Man: Why Gratitude Is a Virtue, Not a Mood | The Catholic Man Show

There's a new Niles in the world. Joshua Benedict Rex was born this week, and Dave wants you to know how stressful it all was. For the dad, that is. The pressure. The anxiety. All those things. None of which come to mind right now. Joke's on Dave, though, because Lady Pamela got to the birth center, the midwife offered to break her water, and Joshua arrived eleven minutes later. That's boy number three, bringing the count to three boys and four girls. Adam got the "we're going in" text at the hospital, stopped to pray, and barely beat the birth. The baby's a content little guy. A stereotypical Niles baby, the spitting image of baby Davy. Baptism's in a couple weeks with Uncle Father Sean, godparents are Sarah and Drew, and somewhere in there is a real theology question the guys throw to the priests who listen: can you name godparents after the fact for a baby baptized in a rush? Asking for a Mary.That birth set the whole table. Every time a baby comes into this circle of friends, the men pull their money, buy one nicer bottle of whiskey, sign it with the kid's name, and drink it together. They call it the "baby bottles" tradition. It blends friends into family. And it's exactly the kind of gift that makes you grateful, which is what this whole episode is about.They're recording on a Friday, the Solemnity of the Sacred Heart, the same day the bishops of America consecrated the entire country to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. The pour is Glendalough, a pot still Irish whiskey the guys actually visited on pilgrimage. Triple distilled by law, smooth, no burn, and oddly cheap. The bottle shows St. Kevin in cruciform, a bird nesting in his open hand. The pious legend says he held that prayer posture so long the eggs hatched. Jim's scale (Irish edition): 3.96 out of 6.Then the meat: gratitude. Not the bumper-sticker kind. Gratitude is a virtue, a sub-virtue of justice, because it renders to another what's due, first to God who gave us everything. Aquinas lays out three degrees: recognition, expression, repayment. Most of us fail at the first one. We take the morning, the clothes, the breath for granted. St. Bernard calls ingratitude a scorching wind that dries up the streams of grace. God pours, the man doesn't return thanks, the flow stops.The hardest, most masculine turn in the episode is receiving. Men hate it. I don't need your charity. I can carry this cross. But refusing a gift graciously offered isn't humility. It's a wall. Adam's lived on the receiving end through Mary's time in the NICU, and he's learned the Christian paradox: the more graciously indebted you are, the richer your life, because the score is never even. That's not a debt to clear. That's a brotherhood.And the punchline ties it all together. Eucharist means thanksgiving. A man of gratitude is a Eucharistic man. You can't repay God for creating you, so He came down, became one of us, and offered Himself on your behalf. All you have to do is show up. Protect, provide, establish, and give thanks. Raise your glass.TOPICS COVEREDJoshua Benedict Rex Niles is born, baby boy number three, bringing the Niles count to three boys and four girlsDave's tongue-in-cheek case that the dad has it hardest in childbirthLady Pamela's eleven-minute birth at the birth center after the midwife broke her waterThe "kingship" theme running through the Niles boys' names: David, Joseph, and now Joshua Benedict RexWhy every Niles baby is a "cookie cutter" content baby, and Joshua looking just like baby DavyThe wonder that a child somehow looks like both mom and dad, "only God could make a baby look like both"Baptism plans with Uncle Father Sean and godparents Sarah and DrewThe open question for the priests who listen: can you name godparents after the fact for a baby baptized in a rush?The "baby bottles" tradition, the men pooling money for a signed bottle of whiskey to honor each new babyWhy this kind of tradition blends friends into familyRecording on the Solemnity of the Sacred Heart, and the U.S. bishops consecrating the country to the Sacred Heart of JesusWhiskey of the week: Glendalough pot still Irish whiskey, triple distilled and smoothThe legend of St. Kevin of Glendalough, the bird's nest in his hand and his love of all God's creaturesWhy Irish whiskey is the most approachable place to start, and surprisingly cheapJim's scale (Irish edition): 3.96 out of 6"Better than I deserve, I'm sure," Adam's go-to answer to "how are you?"The man at the pharmacy who'd just lost his wife, and never knowing what people are carryingGratitude as a virtue, and specifically a sub-virtue of justiceThe book of Job as the model of gratitude to the core: "the Lord has given and the Lord has taken away"Why a member of the Body of Christ is doing well no matter what else is going wrongAquinas's three degrees of gratitude: recognition, expression, repaymentWhy recognition is the weak spot for most people, the habit of taking things for grantedThe internal act of the will toward the benefactor as the heart of repaymentThe humility it takes to receive a gift, and why most men refuse charityHow receiving a gift graciously multiplies joy and binds a community togetherThe Christian paradox of being "graciously indebted," and why the score is never evenSt. Bernard of Clairvaux on ingratitude as a burning wind that dries up the streams of graceDeacon Garlick's prayer of thanks as a model for opening prayerMeditating on the magnitude of the Incarnation, the worm-and-the-man analogyWhy real men don't complain or "vent," and complaining as carrying the cross while griping about its weightDying for your family is easy; living for your family is hard, the little deathsAre you willing to get up, eat right, moderate your drinking, and put the phone down for your family?The Malcolm Gladwell mentorship lesson and the hidden cost of remote work, tribal knowledge not getting passed downWhy none of our best fatherhood or business "hacks" are original, and the duty to pass them onSt. John Chrysostom and St. Thérèse of Lisieux: gratitude as the superpower of the soulWhy you won't become holy without the habit of gratitude"People need to be reminded more than they need to be instructed"Keeping the right perspective so you don't live in a false reality the devil wants for youEucharist means thanksgiving, a man of gratitude is a Eucharistic manREFERENCED IN THIS EPISODEBooks & Writings:The Book of Job (the model of gratitude through suffering)The Summa Theologiae by St. Thomas Aquinas, Second Part of the Second Part (the three degrees of gratitude; ingratitude as sin)Malcolm Gladwell's work on mentorship and learning a craft (referenced by Adam)Saints & Church Fathers:St. Thomas Aquinas (the three degrees of gratitude; gratitude as a sub-virtue of justice)St. Bernard of Clairvaux (the "leaky vessel"; ingratitude as a burning wind that dries up the streams of grace)St. Kevin of Glendalough (the bird's-nest legend; love of God's creatures)St. John Chrysostom ("gratitude is the superpower of the soul")St. Thérèse of Lisieux (gratitude and the spiritual life)Simon of Cyrene (carrying the cross with Christ)People:Adam Minihan (host; founder of M6 Marketing; writes The Grounded Builder on Substack)Jim (in studio, keeper of the yummy scale)Lady Pamela Niles (delivered baby number seven)Joshua Benedict Rex Niles (newborn), David Jr., and Joseph Niles (the "kingship" names)Baby Mary Minihan (still in the NICU, the gifts and prayers received)Uncle Father Sean (baptizing Joshua); Sarah and Drew (godparents)Deacon Garlick (his prayer of thanks)Programs & Institutions:The Catholic Man Show pilgrimage (where the guys visited Glendalough)Glendalough Distillery, IrelandSPONSOR BLOCKSponsor: Select International Tours: selectinternationaltours.comWhen Adam and Dave decided to lead their first pilgrimage, one name kept coming up: Select International Tours. They're the best. Having used them, the guys can vouch for it. No matter where in the world you want to go, Select has a tour ready for you. Whether you want to lead a pilgrimage or attend one, head to selectinternationaltours.com and take a look at everything they offer. You won't regret it.