Hello, and welcome to the Gifted Life Podcast, where we have conversations about organ tissue and eye donation and transplantation. You can always find us for an set of the Gifted Life dot word. I'm Maurice Steele. I'm Joey Boudreau.
And I'm Nyla Schwab. Coming up on this episode, 2-21 of The Gifted Life. We'll be talking to an author of a new book called The Gift, who helps us learn about donation through a child's eyes. And we'll also be talking about how we build genuine connection with others, different ages, different people.
Learn with us right here at the Gifted Life. Hang on. Here on the Gifted Life Podcast, we are proud to introduce you to our very newest friend, Madeleine Pulaski. How are you?
Good. I'm going to talk about the author, y'all. Very good. The book is called The Gift, and we love the meaning behind it and why you decided to write it.
But we always like to know what drew you into the donation world. So we want to learn a little bit about you first, Madeleine, if you could let us into your world. Absolutely. So my background, I'm a pediatric occupational therapist by trade.
I've worked at the Children's Hospital in Omaha for eight, well, it's been a long time, about eight and a half years. I was there both time for about seven and a half. And I worked with all of our pediatric heart transplant recipients. So that kind of started my journey in the donation and transplant world.
I just loved working with those families, the team, and kind of learning more about transplant donation and that kind of led me to a full-time job with the Organ Procurement Organization in Nebraska as a donation service specialist, working with the hospitals, learning more about the donation side and helping to facilitate donation. So that's kind of where all this got started. And had you ever written anything before? Like a book?
I just, I love that part. Like, we needed it. And so we just did it. And I love that journey.
Yeah. No, I've never been publishing anything before. Actually, before I pursued occupational therapy, I went to college, I'd started in journalism. So writing is something I enjoy.
So kind of have that background. I'm just writing for fun. But I needed with us to kind of pull together my donation experience with my OT background. And just saw me and wanted to put something there, put something out there for families.
You mentioned that you worked at the OPO there, the Organ Procurement Organization there. So you supported families or what exactly was your role there? Yeah. So my role at Levon Nebraska was a hospital agent.
So I actually worked a lot with the ICU teams, kind of the leadership, educating on donation and the process, making sure referrals were coming inappropriately. And then when we had a donor being there to help with communication, help that seeing that process through and just really honestly being a professional problem solver, kind of figuring out things along the way and how we could have a successful donation and show our respect to the family and just kind of help bring that whole process together. But we did have families over the coordinators who worked with the family and I got to work with them and learn to do often them. So that was kind of a part of the story as well.
Are you still at the Organ Procurement Organization? So I'm not any longer. I sadly left, not badly. It was a very good reason.
I worked at American Heart Association now with our current physician that I just couldn't have passed up, but my heart is still very much in the donation world. But we parted ways. We still have friends with a lot of teammates there, such as career wise. I had to take kind of the next opportunity.
Well, no, that's so interesting. The heart is a theme or a pattern through all three of your jobs. I mean, you worked with heart transplant recipients and you worked for an organization giving life and now the American Heart Association. Yes.
And definitely learned a lot in each job and taken what I've learned to the next position as well. Lots of talents. We love that. We want to focus on your book.
It's called The Gift. And I love this and that was one of the things that we were talking about starting the conversation and having a conversation about donation with children, which some people are uneasy about because they don't have the tools. They're not equipped with that. So that's something that we were talking about.
We both have young children, Joey and I, and to start those conversations, like they grew up with it. Like our family, my little ones are like, you don't have a heart on your license. That's what we do in Louisiana. They're like, why not?
Like, you should. But we love the concept of this book. So we want to know what prom did you to go to this next level and walk us through that process. Oh, and I want to know about the characters in the book.
I know. Absolutely. Well, kind of the idea for this book that came from one donation case that I was working on, the donor was a father to two young boys, one old enough to know what was going on and what was happening. And one, you know, a little younger who kind of understood but really didn't.
And the family was truly amazing, very supportive of donations, supportive of each other. You know, they were the picture perfect donations, family. They were just, they're just supporting each other, which made a huge difference. But each morning when the mom would come back to the hospital with her sons, she would come up to our family services coordinator and say, hey, you know, last night, my son had a question about this.
How, what wording do I use? How do I talk to him in an appropriate way about this? Our family services coordinator was phenomenal. We'd walk her through it, given the material she had.
And then this kind of occurred for the next three days. I just wanted to ask you questions. And I, of course, did a search on material for children and donation. And there's, there's a lot of children's books on transplants, but there's really not much on donations on the donation side.
So first, the idea for this book was let's make, I need to make a tool that families can use to talk to the children. And that's kind of my OT background. We use social stories all the time to introduce new concepts and teach children, you know, what to expect when something is happening, whether it's something like going to the dentist or something like the funeral can help walk into the process of the social story. So that's initially where this book came from.
You know, I wanted families to have a tool that they can use when a family services coordinator or a donation person was not available at their fingertips to have these conversations. But then on a bigger level, which I think just from what you guys said, you can appreciate this, I believe no one should learn about donations for the first time when their family is donating or when their family is getting a transplant. Like, these conversations need to happen earlier. We need to be aware of what donation is, introducing those into our community in an appropriate way, but much earlier on in life.
So that, you know, when someone does have a loved one or a family member donating, at least there's some recollection of, oh, I've heard of this before. You know, this is how you can help someone. This is how you can save their life. Even if it's that, just those two comments that they remember, it's at least engraved in their brain in some way.
So, you know, my big dream, I want this in every school, in every library, in every home, just as a conversation. Like, hey, this is something some people get the opportunity to do. How cool is it that they get to save a life? You know, it's built in a gift.
So I was able to read the book and I think it's amazing. The concept, you know, the visual, that's what I was going to say. So I've been, of course, my daughter is two, she'll be three soon. And she likes, last night, every day, it's like, dad, get a book, get a book.
And you know, and so we go through a book or two every single night. And it's kind of like our time and what you put into it in the visuals. I can tell you, it's like, I can't wait to take the book home and show her. I'm so excited and then to be able to relate it to, because she's this morning, you know, she's like, where are you going, dad?
You're going to work and to allow her to understand that. Like, for me personally, I think it's amazing what you did and what you put into it. But the other piece that I want to talk about was, you know, we, I was, you know, on that end of being family supported one time. And we see the difference in those families that have had the conversations about donation and how much, you know, it, it helps that part of the grief journey when they've had the conversation, rather than adding another layer of, I don't know what my level wanted.
And for you to be able to see that and put it into words and everything and have that conversation piece is awesome. So I used to work with families on the front end now on the back end of donation. But I've always noticed where sometimes families come in and the children can get pushed kind of to the back or because there's so much going on, so much new information for the adults and the children will be quiet and they don't really understand what's going on. So I think a book like this for families to have to be able to sit down with a child and pay attention to that child and make this, make this understandable on their level is, is a gift.
I mean, it's called the gift. So it truly is a gift. And just like you said, I was really hoping it kind of be a gateway to that conversation. And even if, you know, that maybe that child or that parent is ready to fully dive into the organization, it's at least something, acknowledging what's happening, you know, here is an opening.
We can talk about it, you know, when everyone wants to, when they feel comfortable and also for those kids, when, you know, of donor families, when they go back to school, you know, they're probably answering questions of all their classmates of whatever age, you know, something that the teacher can use or the classmates families can use to try and explain, you know, what happened to them, those dad or some people. And again, just kind of start the conversation. Yeah, it's really interesting because when I was in graduate school, I had a professor who would always bring in children's books and that's how she would start each, each class, saying that we learn so much from children's books because there's so much knowledge behind the book itself and that as I read through this book, it gives visuals of the heart, the kidneys, but it also gives the pictures of who it can help. So I think it's very calming as an adult to read it.
And it's very hopeful as an adult to read it to see, gosh, my loved one could be helping. As in the book, you have pictures of an artist, someone who builds bridges, someone who races go cards. I mean, that's just, it's on a level that we can all relate to at any age. Yes.
And that, I mean, that was the illustrator really did a phenomenal job. I think Bob lost him. He really took it to the next level. And I think that, I mean, really makes the book, I kind of send in my ideas with all of these the six figures in my attempt to draw and draw.
Yeah. I mean, really took it to the next level and I'm grateful. But I think that really helps the book come together in a story come together. So it's called the gift.
And I think Nala said she found it on Amazon. But if people are hearing this and they're like, oh, I have to get my hands on this or I want to use it as a resource, talk us through that and the feedback that you've been getting since the book was released. Yeah, the response has been overwhelmingly positive, which, you know, I wasn't sure how it was going to go. Obviously in the OPO world, it's been well received, but even just among the general community.
And I have absolutely loved how many people have reached out. People I know, people I don't know and shared their story of donation or transplant and share who they're going to give this book to you. Like, oh my goodness, I wish I had this when, you know, dot dot dot. So I knew, you know, donation and transplant touch a lot of people, but publishing this and having people reach out just really emphasizes.
But, you know, so many people are more than you would ever think of. But like you said, it is available on Amazon. If you search the gift by now on philosophy, I'm asking for my name is kind of a mouthful. But if you search the gift, you'll get there.
Otherwise, for OPO, I've talked to a few about book orders so that they can have them to distribute to families and children of donors. So people are welcome to reach out and I can send you my email. It's maddiep.mdc at gmail.com. But I'd love to just hear stories of donation too.
So anyone listening, feel free to reach out. I love that. And then do you have plans for maybe another? Like I always love to hear the journey like we wrote a book, but I wasn't used to reading books and we learned about it.
But what's next? Yeah. So I actually do have another book in the works. I knew I talked to you guys.
It's been so fun. It's not about a topic, you know, as important as organ donation. It's kind of a fun, loving story about a dog who wants to be known for more than her good looks. And so she helps the town and kind of a long story.
But my husband, President, illustrating it and doing a phenomenal job. But we're hoping to have that out by October, November. I just want to be careful. It's so exciting that you can take your talent and make connections throughout the world with just with what you do, like seeing there's a need, finding your talent and meeting with the world needs.
And I'm still curious as to the little girl and the grandmother. So why the characters? I wish there was more depth to the character choices. But when I was talking to the illustrator, we just kind of wanted, well, in the book, we wanted it all.
We wanted it to be a diverse group of characters and show that, you know, organ donation touches everyone. So we really tried to incorporate in the corporate incorporate that into characters throughout the book. But as far as the two main characters, I kind of dreamed up the grandmotherly figure and illustrator kind of dreamed up the low girl. So that's how we learn though, like that.
I figured that's where we learn our history and about life, right? From our grandparents. And it made me think about because we have such, I mean, if you think about families now, families are so diverse and we do see a lot of families, children who lose a parent and then the grandparents are now raising the children. And so I love that about that.
And I appreciate the fact that like it's actual, like the visual is a real anatomical like heart and lungs. Like I've always been confused at why like on Valentine's Day, our hearts look like that because they don't look anything like that. Yeah, true. That's where my brain goes.
But it's still it's not like this gross picture or anything. It's a beautiful picture of a heart, but it is an anatomically correct heart and the lungs and the kidneys and things like that. So I can appreciate that being a clinical guy. Thank you.
Diversity, love and science is all in that book. All in one. Well, Madeline, we wish you nothing but the best open imitation here on the gift of life. We just love that you're using your talents to help make life happen and to help start the conversation.
How important, what a wonderful job. Thank you all for having me today. It's been great talking to you. You're on the gift of life.
We take a moment from mental health. And I heard we're going to be talking about connections. Connections. I know like Legos know.
We're going to talk about people. Okay. But you know, like I guess what made me think about this is the book, The Gift, our guest figured out a way to communicate to a child. Something that was on both parts important to them.
And I think that's what about genuine connection is all about. How can we how can we find someone and go beyond that surface level of like, how are you doing today, Joey? Yeah, I'm doing good. Good.
Good. Yeah. Good. And that's just a record.
Yeah. Record of response. Like that's what I'm going to say. Yeah.
Go deeper. No, we do. You want to go deeper. You know, they actually had a gentleman that won an award and it's a friend of mine.
And it was a huge award that was lots of people present and he was the center of attention. And he walked away from that and said that he felt so isolated and alone during that time that he even went home thinking, did he really want to live the rest of his life? And you're thinking, how does that happen? You're in a room full of people.
Yeah. Because you know, there's one thing to have 10,000 likes on your social media or, you know, people that text you. But there is something about genuine connection, understanding like what someone's thinking, what are they feeling? Like what are they experiencing?
And then what do they believe? And not just trying to say, you know, compare what your thoughts and beliefs are against that, but just saying this is who that person is. This is their thoughts and I genuinely would like to know who they are. Do you like me for me?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so what are some tips?
What are some things that you can do around that? And it's just asking us to say, oh no, I'm terrible at it. Do you probably do things to actually connect with people that you don't even realize? I do.
But like some people who I just meet from time to time, I do struggle with making that additional connection. And that's something, and I know that about me. I know that that's, you know, so it even makes it worse for me. Like it makes it more difficult because I know I'm not good at like sometimes getting just a little deeper.
If I don't like already know, like it's about trying to find out about certain parts of their life without sound like, man, you should have known that about this person, right? Oh, yeah. And then I'm in a busy season. So we have kids in a million different directions, work, marriage, all of that.
It's hard. Like life goes so fast. Sometimes it is just a second here was a drop off or not. So that's tough.
It is tough. And so that's one of the tips is to make time to be present in front of someone, being yourself. Because if if I were in front of you, Joey, and you were trying to ask me more information, and you were somebody, I'd be like, I don't know, Bob's not right, because you wouldn't be yourself. So this is just building on relationships that you already have or new relationships, just really like being there in front of that person, making eye contact to show your genuine, or that you're listening, even though sometimes you want to look away or some people, they listen better because they're looking away.
And if that's the case, you can look at some eyes forehead, which are still giving them the attention. So, Joey, can you tell I'm looking at your forehead? No, not really. Yeah.
So if I struggle to make eye contact, like, Lori, where am I looking on your face? I don't know, but I like it. Look at me more. And then smile, it's universal.
So even that's a way that you're saying I'm listening. So you're really good at that. I have to learn to be better at it. I learned from you.
I do like people. I'm not really good about a lot of other things because I was like, well, I'm not good at that. I'm not good at that. But I do like, I think I really do enjoy getting to know people and their stories.
So I like trying to help other people connect because it's a different feeling and you can tell when you connect it with someone. That's awesome. And I love even the fact that you talked about getting to know their stories. To me, honestly, that's a good way when you see someone every once in a while.
I think I'm just going to throw that out there. Tell me your story. Yeah. All right, you want to talk about my children or like, we went on a trip when people ask.
I'm like, oh, I think they're going to want to know. Like, that's pretty cool. And I would love to share. Yeah.
That's usually that's kind of the tip I'd learn in the, you know, I don't know, some time back, I don't know in leadership or something. And it was like, basically they made us draw a few things. And essentially it became about, you know, to learn about other people. And it was, you know, learn about, ask them about their children, ask them about their travel, ask them about, you know, their home or their where they live or ask them about their work.
Like those are the like, there was another thing. It was like five things. And they said, you know, if you do these things inevitably, something's going to click where they'll start opening up. You'll find something that connects you.
It's looking for that connection. So I work with, I work with people all the time as a counselor, a newbie counselor. But where they're trying to find support and connection. And I'm like, well, what do you like?
What's your passion? If you can figure out what your passion is, go do that. You're going to find people that are surrounded like at LOPA. We all connect over the fact that our mission connects us because we're here with the same purpose, the same mission.
And so it's just looking right. That's it. I mean, finding that connection. So anyway, it's just something that you can explore.
You can be aware, you can consider and talk to people and see if you can, it takes some practice. And that's okay if you can't get to that next level, but it's working toward real connection. Give it a try. All right.
You have a topic you'd like us to cover here on the gifted life. We'd love to hear from you. All you have to do is shoot us an email info at thegiftedlife.org. Now, I have a question and answer segment.
This question comes from one of our listeners. What is the best way to share information about organization with a group that may not be familiar, like a group like a church group or a civic group? Laurie, this is definitely up your alley. You're so excited.
I love this question, but that's how we all learn. You talked about connections. This is how we make connections out in the community. So this is what we're all about.
If you get a LOPA.org slash speaker, LOPA.org slash speaker. If you're in Louisiana, you can request a free presentation. So someone like me will go out and tell you about some facts about donation, my tie to donation and just really answer your questions. And I say, I don't like to be pressured.
When I'm shopping at one of those big box stores and they're like, hey, you want to try this sample right here? I'm like, oh, that's so much pressure. I'm like, what if I don't like it? And I'm eating it right in front of her.
So we try to make it just not stressful. We're going to give you some information. If you have a question that you've been thinking about, or maybe you saw something in a movie, we'll answer it. And then we'll bring our friends in depending on how much time we have.
So a donor mom, somebody who's received, somebody who's waiting. So you can really get a good idea about what LOPA is all about. And then maybe after that taste, you want to know more, or you want to do more. And so we grow our relationship from there.
We make those connections. And hopefully there's something in there that maybe you want to register that day, or maybe we'll get you on the next time. But it's really just about learning together, answering your questions. It's free, it's flexible.
So lopa.org slash speaker is how you can get in touch with us. And we love it. Like you will be part of our family. Don't let that scare you.
We are so excited about it. And we love to watch our family grow. And if you're not in Louisiana, check in with one of your OPOs, Oregon procurement organizations. They probably have a similar program.
Our goal is to make life happen together with one big team, not only here in Louisiana, across the country guys. We want to make life happen. Thank you, Lori. If you have a question out there, give us a call.
Our number 5046483477. He had three beautiful kids, a boy and two girls. His whole world were avowed around them. He also had a passion for animals.
He left behind three dogs and two cats. If he knew him, he knew he had the most amazing smile. We miss him more than words could ever sum up. We were happy in his dark time.
He was able to save five people and give them more time here with their family. We pause to say thank you to Christopher for the gift of life. All right guys, that is episode two, 21 of the gift of life podcast. Thanks for listening.
Tell your friends. And remember you can register as an Oregon Eye tissue donor anytime. Register me.org. Yeah, special thanks to Madeleine Pulaski for coming on, for working in the pediatric world for as long as she has and recognizing that there's a need.
There's a gap like people need to know about donation, especially children, as we talked about, who often get pushed to the side in these heavy discussions to be able to write this book, which I can't wait to bring home to Blakely. I just absolutely recommend for her to see it, because she loves and I read it. It's beautiful. It is.
It is. You know, to be able to have that conversation that I'll be able to have with Blakely now, you know, and show her this is what that this is, you know, this is part of dad's work that she always knows that I'm always leaving her for. But, but, you know, for people who are age to understand and start to having those conversations and bring to their parents and cousins and friends, you know, about donation and these gifts that can be given. I just like that.
Madeleine saw a need and had never done anything before. So I'm short with Scary, but I'm going to create this new tool so I can help other families. Madeleine, we think that's great. The best place to find us guys is at our website, thegiftedlife.org.
Listen there and find links to listen on Apple Podcast, Google Podcast, Spotify, iHeartRio, Pandora, or wherever you listen to podcast. And if you listen on Apple Podcast, please leave us at 5 Star Rating. It really helps others find us. And on social media, guys, you can like our page on Facebook, the Gifted Life Podcast.
You can also follow us on both Twitter and Instagram at GiftedLifePod. Our ask is that you go out and do something you wouldn't normally do to help us make life happen. We're one big team. Until next time.