moment of silence for the Jedi Order single tier just to start out let's stick one moment of silence hello welcome to Revenge of the Podcast I'm Griffin that was awful Griffin that was so loud you just totally peaked out I had to cut the moment of silence with some energy I didn't want the episode to be a bummer I got to cut some sad stuff come on Ben that's Bruce Rubin of course aka Purdue Rubin A.K. he's gotten the intro before I got the intro he cut in he cut in he yelled in the microphone because I want to cut the silence you're doing it again I'm watching your levels right now I'm going to talk to your client hi this is Griffin this is David Sims welcome to Revenge of the Podcast part of the story Griffin and David Prudence franchise the rude interruption of my emotional oscillation was from Bruce Rubin aka Purdue Rubin aka The Ben Dooser aka The Haas aka Mr. Positive aka HelloFan oh my god fuck this movie seriously I didn't rewatch it since the last time I watched it I was just on the way over here thinking about talking about it again it's just so painful what is this how many have we done this this is four out of ten no it's four are you serious no it's five oh it's four this is four I literally thought this was the sixth episode we done no this is four out of ten Chase Mitchell a former guest of ours yeah we had Chase Chase was with us when we discovered there was a third Phantom Menace movie it was huge yeah because Mike I know you're a big fan of the Phantom Menace trilogy so you probably knew all this in advance but we came into this kind of neophytes we were huge Phantom Menace fans right but somehow the other story I thought was that we just remembered it no no because you're forgetting that I saw when I saw the first one that came out I said it was the best one yet I said it was the best movie anyone had made yet we were a huge Phantom Menace fans we went to a podcast ten episodes just to re-examine it much to our surprise we found out that George had Attack of Me to sequel yeah yeah yeah Attack of Clones ten episodes on that one we're ready to move on Chase was here and then we found out that in fact there was a third film he completed the trilogy and so now we're trying to figure out this is a serial style mystery investigation that we pretty much dropped what is this trilogy supposed to be about is this did he tell the complete story what is it trying to say right something like that I don't know yeah whatever but you're a big fan I'm a big fan of the trilogy yeah yeah I mean personally I think if you look at the movies coming out the first one's before 9-11 the happiest one of the trilogy and then after that not that everything's about 9-11 but it gets much darker and you find the characters you like turning to evil and it might be a statement about America's turn that he didn't plan ahead of time when he made the first one I you know the first movie ends on a big upswing right big upswing Gungan save yeah like sit defeated the Trade Federation the fuse second movie ends you got Clone Wars starting you know Anakin lost an arm and then this one this one's just a tragedy it's a pitiable tragedy yeah yeah I would argue this movie feels like a film made by a man who has lost the will to live but also we all felt a lot of four years after 9-11 yeah like Mike is saying also a man who hates all institutions and government and overturning government you know this is a movie about every institution crumbling into death yeah this is a movie of severe distrust because at the end of the day even though Anakin is presented as acting worse than Obi-Wan the Jedi's and the Republic are both represented as being bad shitty forces in a way yeah headless foolish like easily corruptible yeah yeah I think the Jedi's aren't to blame as much so we're talking about the Jedi works we've done an episode on Anakin we've talked about Palpatine but we want to talk about how the rest of the Jedi's are functioning in this movie not well really really everything they've been doing wrong comes back to vitamin yes for three movies for three movies we've been getting warnings like hey it turns out they're Sith Lords yeah right let's keep an eye on that oh hey like someone in the Jedi Order ordered a clone army without us noticing that that's weird aren't we psychic should we be on this the third movie like oh yeah the whole clone army they're genetically programmed to kill us we miss this well what I hate is you see the first movie and you have two Jedi's that are just fighting incredibly well I guess one guy obviously but then the more Jedi you add to every movie the worse they are to the third movie where they order order 66 and they're just shot yeah they're just shot they're just shot like one lady doesn't even turn around but she definitely senses shit but she doesn't turn around and I say shit I don't know if Hasbro pays for this you can say whatever you want you can say whatever you want because advance notice just because you're a comedian you're a comedic writer and I understand I come from the same world this is a no-bits podcast we don't believe in bits we want to talk this is a serious film criticism podcast we want to talk openly about the films we're discussing with no sort of overarching bits don't give me more work I don't want to have to do any editing approach so back into the third and final film in the Phantom Menace trilogy Mike is totally right because it's like the Jedi's are supposed to be these chess type games when they fight wow you're watching them they're perfectly balanced and it's like bang bang they're dead next one because there's supposed to be 15,000 Jedi something like that someone throws that number out at some point there's something like 15,000 Jedi's around the planet they all just get shot I do think more than anything that is representative of and not to keep on beating this drum but a filmmaker who is kind of lost interest I don't know the way we've done a lot of research into how the big shift in filmmaking between episode one and episode two that was pushed even further into three where it was really all in front of a green screen not even having the actors in the same scene often and stitching them together in post and print digital backdrops and this and that and a lot of it was done a lot more on the fly where it was the first one I think had a lot of expensive planning and so the first one you feel like really sharp precise choreography and fight sequences that are shot and edited around those moves and build and this just feels like he had especially when they're a group scene where you have more than one Jedi screen but it feels like he just had each actor come in one by one into a sound stage and go like just do some stuff with your lightsaber yeah wave it around phone over for two minutes and then copy-paste it into other scenes later like it's so non-specific when these guys are supposed to be the best guys and gals let's say and you know what I'm not fucking gender binary when it comes to Jedis although all Jedis do seem to be male if they're aliens and they're women we can tell they're women they're like big sexy alien women big sexy alien women yeah like Yaddle that big what happens to Yaddle? I think she just quits we don't see Yaddle we don't see Yaddle but we're going to be one we are nodding that George is making films that reflect the world that we live in and Yaddle was I think about 6,000 years old and women tend to lose career opportunities in their 40s so if Yaddle is 6,000 is the equivalent she might just gotten pushed out because Yala Sakura shows up in episode 2 Yaddle's gone Yala Sakura's wearing a halter top she's the one with she's a Twi'lek what's the word for it oh they're called Leku they're called something with an owl that's a good ball I think that's what they're called Mike might be deeper into Wikipedia than we are I could be wrong though it could be a totally different word and I seem like an asshole that's what all our listeners are doing right now all our T-B-Lek listeners are so bad you asshole yeah she's the one I'm thinking of when I see a big sexy alien right but Yaddle's phased out yeah just fucking play in the time yeah I need a sexier flashier Jedi a little reverse housekeeping first of all it always needs to be said please rate and review oh yeah sure go ahead no because Ben's here on a Sunday we're recording on a Sunday right now it's crazy we gotta line those coffers week after week we gotta line those coffers the reviews have been nice I appreciate them I especially appreciate how many people say that Ben is their favorite part of the show and imply that we are monsters we are monsters but adorable monsters subscribe to all these free shows last week was a dark week for us but also we didn't have an episode last week because I was filming and I was in Washington D.C.
okay so we had things that weird at first I thought you meant like someone died like it was a real dark week about 14,995 Jedi two are left two or three I don't think I'm a Jedi oh that's the second point we have to make is Mike just so you can feel safe in this environment if you aren't already Sith Lords are not allowed to listen to this podcast this is a thing Griffin's doing recently I don't want people rating us fucking zero stars and it wouldn't only be two ratings there's only a master and an apprentice we got one one star rating so far I don't want that second shooter drop I don't know this is what I'm saying that's in episode one that I've had to change the dialogue Yoda and Mace Windu oh it seems like it was a Sith Lord which was the master and apprentice I don't know let's do no work on this let's just not do work on this the way to figure out whether it's the master or the apprentice is look up the age of the person commented and if they are 90 years old then they are the apprentice yeah because you gotta get some gun bug apprentices I tweeted out as a joke that we weren't recording because I was filming the Colin Travorrow movie yeah a lot of people took that seriously well congratulations thank you I just want to clearly say that I would never work for Colin Travorrow and I have no hesitation saying that publicly because I doubt that Colin Travorrow will ever make a film that I want to be in I don't mind what bridges I burn publicly Colin Travorrow will never direct a film that I have any interest in being part of as we said no bits and I sort of stopped the meme in this my guest is Griffin just ruining his career I have no allies anymore anyway anyway Avery Edison tweeted out complaining that we didn't have an episode and she said I'm so angry at you it was a fake subway poster and it was Yoda and it said if you see something completely ignore it and never talk about it ever again or whatever it is and that really does seem to be the way the Jedi's function throughout this entire movie they clock it once they definitely clock it once and then they just disregard it well they also seem to ignore all the other they're like oh there's a Sith Lord and they're pretty crazy and they're like what about Count Dooku nah he's probably fine like he's just an old Jedi he's an old Jedi he wouldn't do something evil he just broke off from the Jedi Order and did his own thing and found a huge army and dropped that right against him oh he wouldn't be a Sith Lord is it just really inconvenient to have a Sith Lord also everyone who has ever left the Jedi Order has become evil and he's like a kid with a woman he's like a real estate agent he didn't want all the hullabaloo and rat race but is it like bedbugs or something you're getting bites but you just don't want to have bedbugs so you're just like it's a mosquito I don't know there was a spider in my room the other day I don't worry about it out of my control and the thing that bugs me is there's constant scenes in all three movies or at least the last two of Yoda and Mace when you're just hanging out in that dark room that they hang out in a little meditation room they never chat about this they never you know maybe back in a couple theories back and forth also like I understand George Lucas is trying to develop his own world with these three movies but the word younglings whenever it's said just makes me like I can believe everything I can believe there's international space but not that the word youngling is in Carmen Perlans anywhere Carmen Perlans anyway Carmen Perlans Carmen Perlans what's in the Phantom Manus universe that's called Carmen Perlans that does sound like it's a predatory word like there's a line in that Padme says I think in episode 3 where it's something along the lines of he got the younglings I'm like how did you direct that scene like how did you say just like tell another human to say that and they were like alright sure I'll catch this chat I'm pretty sure they must have just sprung in on it last day Natalie we need one more thing we actually oh my god just say it right now okay we got it the toughest question from a direction standpoint was that George Lucas had to CGI out the vomit coming out of Natalie Quentin's mouth as she delivered that line there was vomit just trickling from the corners of her mouth as she said young Padme Padme that's our next episode next episode we're going to talk about we're going to be we've got six more episodes I got a whole plan it's going to be four fan fiction episodes okay so Jedi Order there's the opening sequence they're fighting together right then they come back Palpatine asks Anakin to be his representative goes to the Jedi the Jedi's are like we will not let you become a Jedi Master but we'll let you have a seat in the Council which is a real slap in the face yeah real dick move and then they're also but do spy on Palpatine Forest right so Anakin else are spending a lot of time with Palpatine buddy buddy as we talked about in these episodes and which sets the stage to now have the other guys go what do we do and they go well that Grievous guy right oh god General Grievous I just saw it and I always forget him you know right you always forget that guy it's like I don't know he's just not threatening to me no because he's coughing because he's a coughing robot yeah I guess we're going to talk about Grievous a little bit we got to talk about Grievous more his backstory would have been funny yeah yeah I mean yeah is that just convenient it's very convenient like John Grievous John Grievous John William Grievous um no yeah to introduce a coughing robot with no explanation and like have that be his first scene and he's wearing a cloak and he's old he's got a limb it's so much business and then he's like uh hello yeah he talks like Dracula and he's like I kind of like say but and it's yeah it's like too many bits too many bits in one character but think about it episode one you got Darth Maul he's so cool he's all you know he's got horns he's got like painted face very intimidating very intimidating episode two like your sort of sub villain I guess is Jango Fett he's not bad and the third one they're like we really you know we really need to cook up a good because it's sort of like a video game he's the sub boss right he's your second from last boss yes yeah what's nice Jedi killing robot what is he he spins like labors that was cool like when I heard all about this it sounded so cool and then you see it you're not really using it yeah you're not using it and like he's just a little CGI blob that Obi-Wan sort of just jumps into yeah we have a term we use coined by a previous guest Morgan Evans for when the George Lethal characters really go lose physically which is when they start flubbering and part of the problem is he has two straight movies where an infirm old actor has to do a lot of lightsaber so they just flubber I went to the Grievous Wikipedia page because I think we do have enough questions about the backstory I do want to see we just we go from the start of the Clone Wars to the robot armies led by a robot cyborg internal organs that we've never heard of before who's killed a bunch of Jedi apparently or at least he's four you're supposed to assume he's a lot but could like he just started this collection do you think he was like alright four I have four arms so I'm gonna stop there it just seems like it's like the Jedi on one hand are like always aware of everything but as soon as they turn their back to you also like when the five of them face Palpatine and suddenly none of them know how to use a lightsaber like there's like oh yeah yeah he just sort of dies right into it and they're like oh yeah shit we didn't expect this but we turned on our lightsabers and have been told this guy's sick lord like we literally just found this out okay so this is a really big bummer and it's way too long so I'm just gonna breeze over some of this really just like that but he was like an organic alien creature they have a picture of him here he looks like sort of like a tribal like an Amazonian tribal warrior he's got a mask that looks kind of like the Grievous robot mask now but he's like humanoid in structure and he was on this primitive planet where these cockroach aliens or these pregnant aliens constantly attacking them he had a weird amount of anger that everyone always comments upon ooh this boy what's his name his original name was he's serious Grievous well well his original name was Quayman Jai Shalal oh he's too Jewish he's a change of a showbiz too ethnic but he everyone's like you're too angry you should funnel this anger to some productive like fuck He was fighting off these praying mantises that attack. He became very good at fighting them off. Everyone was always worried about his anger. He met a woman.
He fell in love. She died. He was taken from him. And then the two of them were separated.
She died violently on a barb shear by the creature. Shalal did what he could to bury his grief. Shalal. To bury his grief.
He ended up taking 10 wives and siring 30 children. What? But none of them spouse or child to be able to fill the void Kumar's death had left in him. Is Kumar's wife?
Yeah. Eventually he realized that it was his destiny to mourn her for as long as he lived. With this realization, Queen Min Jai Shalal cast off his own identity. Something more appropriate to being destined to grieve forever.
And even more terribly, he was determined that he would not do so alone. He would be grievous as well as heartbroken for the rest of his life. Wait, is he a real general? I guess he was later promoted to general.
Yeah, he was later promoted to general. He was later fighting in a ship and the ship was bombed and he was blown up and they rebuilt him for the sidebar. He's like a $6 million man. He also has the exact same fucking arc as Anakin.
He was a young boy that everyone said had too much anger. He fell in love with someone. That love led to his insecurity. That's his name to something crazy.
Yeah, and was rebuilt as a robot person. But I don't think Darth Vader's gonna take 10 wives. That's a wrinkle. I don't either.
30 children. Imagine also, who's your dad? Well, he's good at fathering people. I don't have a good father.
It's okay, I have nine stepmothers. 10 wives, 30 children, none of them were able to fill the hole. Can you imagine just being like the 28th kid and turning 5 and going like, nah, that's the time I tell you. I really thought you could be.
Grievous Hux. He's a shitty character. It says here he smokes two packs a day. Are you serious?
You're not reading your own Wikipedia, Ben? You got me. Is that what it says? No.
Ben never reads anything on Wikipedia. He's a sane man. Ben checks his email when we're recording. I remind you, Ben, that cigarettes do not exist in the Phantom of the Universe.
Only 10 states. Excuse me. It lands his back in my holy trinity of favorite characters from Attack of the Clones. Which brings me to the only character I like in Revenge of the Sith.
You like a character in Revenge of the Sith? Okay. I previously disregarded your suggestion that this character could be my favorite character because I said it was too general, but I found out there's a full Wikipedia entry on him as well. Obi-Wan follows the lead to the planet where...
What the hell is the planet called, actually, where he's hanging out? It's sort of the jungle planet, but it's like a big hole. The whole planet, the whole city, it's like someone drilled a big hole in the ground. It's like a Guggenheim level where there's all these spiraling sub-levels.
It's not a Sheik. Is it Utapah? It might be something like that. We're all bummed out just saying these names.
What? What? Who's that? Who is the tall dude with the slits on his face and the sharp teeth.
Oh, yeah. With the sort of high-collar... Yes. Who's played by Bruce Spence.
This guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bruce Spence, who is the Jaguarcopter pilot in The Road Warrior. Who's like a fucking awesome...
I think you expect this to go, what?! Holy cow! He's like a cool fucking Australian. What if this movie was shot in Australia?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a cool fucking actor. He was the mouth of Sauron in Return of the King. Sure.
He was one of the side sharks in Finding Nemo. Yeah, you were right. It was Utapatu. Utapow, Utapow.
Utapow? How long did George spend on that name? Sometimes, I'm not trying to be childish here. I'm trying to grow up on this podcast.
But sometimes I really do think that George just recorded the sounds of himself pooping and the name things that the sounds of the poop made when they hit the water. Utapow! Utapow! Yeah.
Most words in this universe sound like diarrhea sounds. How many whys are in the name of the sheep? All the whys. Yeah, if they wear a vowel, just make it a whys.
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New customers only. Thanks, Huel, for partnering and supporting our show. He goes to Tami Don and he's like, hey, I'm looking for Grievous. And Tami Don's like, no Grievous here.
And he's like, there's this war going on. He's like, no war here, no Grievous, don't know what you're talking about. And he's like, do you want to use the bathroom quickly? And Tami Don's like, sure, use the bathroom.
Hold on, there's one thing to tell you. There's a ton of war going on here, Grievous. Grievous is literally downstairs. Right.
But he like leans in and speaks in a quieter voice, but not a quieter voice. We're like, I don't understand how anyone was spying on him. Because then they cut to the balcony, and there's a balcony that's maybe a hundred feet away where one of Grievous' magna guards is spying on them. And it's like, oh, he didn't raise any suspicion when Obi-Wan was there.
Yeah, I understand what you're saying. I don't know. Dump, dump. So he's like, you gotta...
Please kill General Grievous. Please kill General Grievous. He's in room A14. He's in conference room A14.
He's here. He's giving a lecture. It's like a Guggenheim. It's like a weird tube in the ground.
I also think for a series of films that are hyper-titled Star Wars, I don't think George E. Porgy understands what war is. Any time a war is put up in this movie, he's like, there's a ton of war on this planet. You see the planet, it just looks like a museum.
There's no battle happening. Well, the other thing is, the movie's called Star Wars, and they're like, oh shit, we're at the Clone Wars at the end of Attack of the Clones, right? All right, because there's going to be awesome. We're going to see all this war.
And then we cut to like 10 years later, like, well, the war's over. We just finished the war. And the way the war breaks out at the end of Attack of the Clones is like, if they called in cops to mediate a boxing match that got out of hand, and then it turned into a war. They send in the clones because there's a bad arena battle happening.
And then within 13 seconds, it's a full-on war. Yeah, within 13 seconds, people being loaded into ships. Yeah. Yeah.
Who's your favorite character? T.M. Madonna goes, hey, you want to help find Grievous? Jump on that thing right there.
And it is Boga! Yeah, he's a dactyl, a very dactyl. Okay, yeah, I thought it was a dactyl. I've been speaking for the last couple of weeks.
It's a very dactyl from Utapau. It looks like an iguana, right? Yes. It's a big iguana.
It's a big iguana. Obi-Wan rides it around in some of the worst, most spectacularly bad CGI. And it also just feels like, oh, we could do this, so let's make the scene with no real purpose to it. Yeah, it's kind of like, should Obi-Wan just walk over there?
Nah! Let's get an iguana! Yeah! Let's get a giant lizard.
There might as well be people carrying plate glass that he could smash through it. I mean, it's that sort of unnecessarily silly. It also feels like the movie was made with less enthusiasm. The movies were made with increasingly less enthusiasm.
Like, one is weird but fun. Yeah. Two is terrible but trying to do interesting things. Yeah.
And then this one's just like, I don't know, a lizard. At least in two you had like a wacky bounty hunter. Yeah. You had like that fat dude who owned a diner.
That's part two of My Holy Trinity. Yeah, you're hitting all of Griffin's favorites. Let's see if you can get the third guy in Attack of the Clones. I don't remember who it is.
Oh, it's the returning character from Phantom Manus. Oh, Watto? Oh, yeah. My Holy Trinity from Phantom Manus is Watto, Boss Nass, and Tarples.
That's who you like in this one? No, in Phantom Manus that was my Holy Trinity, right? Watto, Boss Nass, and Tarples? Yeah.
But then there was TC-14. Oh, yeah, I love TC-14. How do we not get you on this? You're really stupid on this podcast from the beginning.
Yeah, birds of a feather. Well, I just read Boga's entire Wikipedia entry and there's nothing of interest in there. But, because you had said maybe that's your favorite character and I said I don't think because I don't think it's a fine character. I think it's just part of a species.
Has a name though. She has ten husbands. She has ten husbands, thirty children, but none of them replace the part of her heart that Obi-Wan held. Does Obi-Wan just kind of randomly jump on her or is she like giving to him?
I think Obi-Wan's like, go, jump on him. We have this lizard. Yeah, she's the fastest on the planet. I know it's a big imposition to ask you to kill General Beavis, but maybe if you jump on this thing, you can ride my lizard.
You don't even have to give it back. It's cool. Let it fall as far as you want. It'll be a long way.
This is my favorite section of the movie. I don't know why. I'll tell you why. Although I can't name another section that I really prefer.
I have no favorite section of this one. This is why I liked it. I'll say it a lot less this time than the first time, re-watching it. Sure.
Not this fourth re-watch or whatever it is. But it's a favorite section of the movie because it's fucking silly. It is very silly. And Ewan McGregor is playing it up.
He's having some fun. Yeah, he's doing like a sort of Errol Flynn, old-timey Scott Buckler, like really broad. And the rest of this movie is so laden and like fucking self-serious and everything. Except for the opera housing.
Except for the opera housing. We talked about how fucking funny Phantom Menace is and how much we're missing those wall-to-wall laughs in this movie. I don't like comedy, but if you're doing it with a certain space, why not? In everything CGI, you can create anything you want.
Yeah. Why not have a fucking dude on a lizard chasing a coughing robot on a one-wheeled bike? Because it's too much stuff. No, it's too much stuff.
It's too much stuff. I'm saying maybe you should have that much stuff. Look at the original movie, they're actually on a set. Yeah.
There's a CG window. There's a CG window and everything. No, it's clean. It's clean, but you can actually see sets.
Whereas all the CG, you can tell that nothing's actually happening. It's blur on blur on blur. Like Darth Maul is a real person. I mean, not a real person.
But he is. Whereas Revis is just a CG villain. Who voiced him? Some guy.
It was the sound guy. Yeah, Matthew Wood was the sound engineer. Because Gary Oldman was supposed to do it and then he couldn't do it. Yeah.
So they were just like, I don't know, you do it. Get some guy, make him cough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you go get Dracula voice?
Alright, great. This really feels like a movie that was directed 50% by a special effects team and left entirely their own devices. And George has said as much in behind the scenes stuff that he put these big action sequences wrote a sentence that's like, Obi-Wan chases Revis down the hall. And it was like, you come up with whatever you want.
Great writing. Yeah. Like 15 minutes of visuals. You know, when people say show, don't tell, they don't mean don't tell anything.
They don't mean show and keep secrets. Just show some shit and just do that. It is literally that. I don't know, it's a business.
Give us some business. We need some business now. This is a business-y movie. So Obi-Wan rides Boga up to the rafters, right?
Right, yeah. It's like in a theater. Watching the council of all the bad guys. Yeah, as you do.
Right, and Grievous is going like, go to Musafari, I'll meet you there. Yeah. Then Obi-Wan jumps off of Boga, drops down very theatrically like, ah! Yeah, this part is actually okay, where Ewan McGregor is kind of like, you know, he's sort of doing all these stances, and he's like, I'm gonna kill you, you motherfucker.
You know, like essentially. Right, and he's like, I'm a Jedi, and Grievous is like, well, I was trained by a Jedi. Who cares? That dude Dooku, so just as good, throws off his cape, reveals his forearms, puts a lightsaber.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, so they look pretty weak. It's like split strings. It's also just that annoying thing where they're like, look at this toy, see, move all of his arms.
You can just see the push button. Yeah, it's real fun. You're also given no time to be afraid of it. You don't see him use it against other Jedi before the movie.
No, it's a very good point. And we're like, oh shit, this thing exists. You're like, alright, he's got this other thing now. It's just him saying like, see, I got lightsabers from other people, unseen.
Like, the only other time we've seen Grievous is when he captured Obi-Wan and Anakin at the start of the movie, and they immediately just take their lightsabers back. And he wasn't really fighting that much. Yeah, he's just coughing. Right, yeah.
He was shooting his blaster a little bit, but he wasn't like a fucking physical acrobatic guy. And not to mention that, he's so run down, he's coughing, he's hunched over. The second he throws his cape off, suddenly he has the most mobility any character has ever had in any film. Right?
So he splits off, he's got four lightsabers. He kind of spins them. Obi-Wan does not win this fight. I know that, yes, Obi-Wan wins this fight.
I know this is a sci-fi movie. I know we have to suspend or disbelief. Grievous takes the fucking four arms and starts spinning them at like full speed, like 500 miles per hour. So he's just got like two windmills going on either side.
All he has to do is walk close to Obi-Wan, and Obi-Wan is dead. And instead, Lucas lets Obi-Wan slowly beat him one arm at a time. You know? Like his four arms are spinning so fast, and then he just goes like, one hand done, and then makes a pithy remark, and then like, second hand done.
No, absolutely not. You just think it's not plausible? Well, I mean, to Mike's point from earlier, his fighting is less precise than it was in Phantom Menace when he was fighting one guy with two blades. Yeah, because that guy was played by a person.
Right. And they could figure out like stunts together. But that's the problem. Yeah, that is the problem.
But Obi-Wan was just kind of standing still. Like, what was Grievous? Because you know with Jar Jar in a suit, right? He was like, was there a guy there?
What is it? Who's he fighting? He just had like a tennis ball on a stick, and he'll swing his arms like crazy. It really doesn't feel like he has specific things.
It's all after the fact. All the lightsaber stuff in this one. I mean, Obi-Wan versus Anakin, I think they got some stuff down there, right? They're kind of bashing away.
But apart from that. Yeah, because it was two real people in this scene. Yeah, because Insidious kills the pterodactyl guy or whatever. I don't know, the pterodactyl guy doesn't know.
It doesn't make sense. He's taking them down one hand at a time, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, which really feels like a video game where it's like, here's the boss level.
Yeah, target it on one arm. Yeah, weak spot, weak spot, weak spot. And then when he's down to, I don't know, two arms, one arm, whatever he's got left, Grievous like does this thing where he flips back and then turns into a scorpion? This happens so quickly that it barely registered.
Again, you have no reason to know this is going to happen, so it doesn't have an effect on you when it does. But he becomes Scorponok from Transformers. Like his body completely recalibrates where then his head is at the front and his legs are over his head and his arms are like tentacles. crawling on the floor.
He's not really fair. No. I don't think he has to be. No, but it's just kind of annoying.
Where's that cough? Because when we first see him and he's coughing and he's so feeble, he wasn't putting on a fake shirt. He wasn't pulling a Gene Wilder walking out with a limp and then roll over and do this. Because he's limping and coughing in front of his coworkers.
He's just like, don't let the Jedi's him. And then suddenly he's got four arms he can transform into different animals. Maybe like the tragedy of General Grievous is he only feels good when he's fighting. Reading into the backstory there, I like it.
That was his real love all along. Well, he dies. He dies. He's a Jedi Master.
He has a blue lightsaber. He kills people with it. He chops them into little pieces. How does he die here?
He picks up a blaster. He opens Grievous' thing with his hands. He sees that Grievous has a heart. So what does he do?
He shoots it dead. We all know if you shoot a heart it blows up like a bomb. Then your entire body catches on fire and you explode. And fire pours out of your eyes.
So he sees the heart and then has that realization. I just hate when he's like, aha, I've got you. I'll just pick this up right here and there you go. I think it might even be Grievous' blaster that he dropped early.
I hate this movie. To your point, just boring bullshit of this other... Can we also talk about Order 66? Oh yeah, we're getting it.
We're getting it. I just wanted to point out Merchandise spotlight quick, Merchandise spotlight to your point. Very quick, very quick. General Grievous, as you correctly predicted, not only had a regular action figure with a cape and a fire and glass, but also had one with the arms that split apart.
Also had one where the arms rotated and separately had a battle defeat, final battle, General Grievous, where he was covered in fire and if he pushed the button, he exploded. So it really did feel like they designed General Grievous to have as many different action features as possible to split him into separate characters. That's the whole Merchandise spotlight. And he's saying, like, you know...
We're all friends here. We're all friends here. He's saying, hey, shit's going crazy. These plans are getting out of control.
We've got to take care of them. And they're like, I don't know. There are only so many of us going to be so many places at so many times. And Yoda's like, I've got to go to Kashyyyk.
And they're like, what? And he's like, it's important. I think maybe Obi-Wan says it's important. He's like, if we lose Kashyyyk, things are going to be tough.
This planet we've never heard of before. It's never brought up anywhere. But he makes a point where he's like, I know we don't have time to save all these planets, It's like if you made a movie where the dude who shows up in the wedding to interrupt it wasn't introduced until... Bill Pullman starts out in the appears.
Excuse me. We need to go to Kashyyyk. Is Yoda going with... Like, what's the help of adding Yoda?
Is he bringing clone troopers with him? Is that the idea? I think he wants to get, like, big furry dudes to join the clone troopers, but... Wookiees.
Good relations with the Wookiees I have or something. Which you don't know anything about. Don't even talk, I don't think. No.
And I wish people rolled their eyes. Like, I wish the other Jedi were like, Oh, fuck. Well, there is the scene. This is important.
And there's the scene where they're in, like, the gunship. And it's Obi-Wan, I think, Mace Windu, and Yoda. And it's like, they're each making separate stops. They, like, drop Obi-Wan off at Utapau and, like, give us a call if you need a ride back.
And Yoda's taking the ship the rest of the way over to Kashyyyk. And there's the part where they're talking about Anakin and, like, you know, saying, like, you know, a lot of anger, this and that. What do you think we should do about him? Whatever the fucking conversation is.
It's a part of a conversation. And they go, but isn't he the chosen one? We don't believe he's going to bring balance of the force? And Yoda, like, runs his hands through his hair.
This is a very off-shot where he runs his hands through his whispers from his hair and then he just goes, misread the prophecy we might have? And they're like, what? And he's like, I don't know, it's possible we misread the prophecy. Bring balance, destroy, who knows what it is.
Yeah, that's been brought up and I'm sure it's been talked about many times, but how do you not say bring balance when there's two bad guys and a billion good guys? How do you not go, let's not do this balance shit? Right, it's already in balance. Like, you're supposed to bring, like, when Obi-Wan's yelling, I mean, I know you're talking about the following thing.
But Obi-Wan's yelling at me, he's like, you're supposed to bring balance, he did. He did, he did, he did his job. But suddenly, like, it's like these three movies have been sent around, like, this kid's got all this power, he's got all this thing, we don't know where to trust him. And Yoda's suddenly like, yeah, but also the prophecy thing might have been bullshit.
It might have been based on the false premise. But they suck. Misread we may have. You know, I mean, if we didn't see the formation of a clone army coming, our powers really are, they're always saying things like that.
Our powers are weird, I used to be much more powerful. You know, someone's going around deleting planets from the Jedi archives, no one's looking into that. Like, there's so much shit going on that they're just not on top of. So Yoda gets dropped off like a sheep, with a bunch of his clone-tripper bodies.
It's the suckiest thing in the world. A battle ensues. I mean, it's like, they go like, and now we fight, and then there's a shot of Tarfal standing on top of a thing and holding his arms. Tarfal.
Tarfal, sorry. Tarfal is the Gungan. I know. And two favorite generals.
Tarfal is like holding his arms in the air outstretch and you're like, oh shit, crazy battle. it's a lot of business for like 35 seconds and then there's a white knight. In the middle of the war and there's a white knight. Swinging and like in trees and shit.
Oh, they literally do a Tarzan roar at one point. Yeah, they do a Tarzan roar. It has no effect on anything. It's just not, it's characters we don't know fight each other.
It's like a weird reverse D-Day, like the robots are on the beach or something. There's like a beach involved. Oh, there's a lot of beach involved. And like the Wookiees are valiantly fighting back.
It's like, this is the first army we've seen that seems to have been able to hold their own against the droid army. They suck. They're beating them with wooden weapons and vines. Then Yoda says some shit like you'll always be my best friend Chewbacca and I'm like who are you?
Like we just met you. We just met you. I didn't even notice this fucking Chewbacca asshole until like the third time we were watching it. There's Tarfell's the dude he keeps on talking to.
Tarfell's got this majestic like armor on his helmet and you see him leading action. Chewbacca's just a dude standing behind him. He's got a bandolier. He's like Tarfell's like handmaiden or something.
And at the end they're giving Yoda an escape pod to escape from him. He just watches this battle. Right. And then What help is he providing?
Very little. It'd be kind of cool to see Yoda kind of popping around with his lightsaber and slicing things up. There's one thing where you see him stab a clone trooper and that's earlier in the movie. Not a clone trooper that'd be nice.
Fuck you. No does that happen after? I don't know. Whatever.
Anyway. It doesn't matter. Super movie doesn't matter. I know what you're talking about.
He cuts off the heads of two clone troopers right in order 66. He's the only Jedi who can fuck around. He's like they're Jedi. They're Jedi.
We have seen them in previous movies like shit will happen in another room. You're another part of a ship and they'll go whoa whoa whoa what's that what's that? Not to mention the original thing is that when a Jedi is born a child is born with force anywhere in the galaxy the Jedi Council can feel it. He can feel the birth and immediately go out and see that person.
And when all the Jedi's die Yoda has like a stroke practically you know you've got his cane. But so there's a moment where they give him the escape pod they make it out of war. They make it out of this two hour war alive and then they find a escape pod for Yoda and they go and Yoda goes like thank you Tarfall. You're my best friend.
Tarfall he just goes like Tarfall he gives him a little nod and he turns to Chewbacca and he goes like and Chewbacca thank you so much I will never forget you. It's like Tarfall's right there. That's not it's all Chewbacca who the fuck is Chewbacca? This guy's got nothing.
Also like get out of there. The Jedi's are being exterminated. We don't be like oh Chewbacca like here I got you this espresso set. And here's the thing so you know seriously call me anytime I don't know where I'm going to be living because apparently the Jedi Temple is on fire.
Palpatine now has full power. He executes Order 66. Okay so we're going to talk about Order 66. Right.
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Offer is valid for a limited time. Terms and conditions may apply. I mean we've covered a lot of it. I just I don't understand it.
I also don't understand like is it like some genetically implanted thing? Yeah. Is it like a sleeper agent thing? Or are they just like dicks where they're like alright kill the Jedi now?
It's like a Venturian candidate thing. Right. They just have to hear the words Order 66. I was thinking like a reverse Robocop like Directive 4.
Yeah. They have to. Yeah. Now here's my question.
Do they have to hear it from Palpatine? Yeah because they all have it like on their guy on their little communicator. Also does he have to call all of them? I was thinking about it.
One like there's no group tech seeking in this? Alright let's say now it's a commander with this guy. Commander Timmy. Or a Facebook thread or something.
Also are there guys that didn't hear it? Huh? Which one? They've got to be like close troopers just like they're like in the bathroom when it was called and they come out like what the fuck are we doing?
One guy was at lunch and he turned his timeline off so he didn't know Ruben. No but he calls this thing right? It seems so. It's after Palpatine's been revealed.
After he's taken down Mace Windu. After he's knighted Anakin Darth Vader. And he's all naughty. He looks like the influence from Dick Tracy.
Yeah. And he says you know the Jedi's out of control lead the Republic whatever. Execute Order 66. And to your point it feels like these clone troopers have been working alongside the Jedi.
Some of them become friends. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. There's a couple of them by name.
Cody. Cody how you doing? Cody what's up? Yeah.
But the second he gives them the order it doesn't feel like a mainstream candidate thing where they switch on and start following commands they go like uh sure yeah yeah. Yeah I got it cool. No that's what he tells you to do. And they just start murdering every Jedi.
Yeah. And we see it like there's one who shoots a Jedi's ship down right? Yeah. There's a couple where it's like yeah there's like two clone troopers and they just shoot a Jedi.
Like two or three guys. There's a point where they go to back to excuse me the Jedi Council and like half of the Council's holograms. And so you're like oh they're all fucking split up? Yeah they're all over the Clone Wars.
It seems like all of them were pulling a Yoda and picking one planet they like. Yeah right. That's your favorite planet. Fight alongside them.
So it's like this really sad montage. Very dramatic swelling strings of one by one like Heidi Monde is like hey follow me and he runs ahead they don't follow him and they shoot him. That was a little sad. That was a little brutal.
Oh man. He's kind of got a face you know some of them don't really have human faces so you know whatever. He's got a real sad face. You don't find this whole sequence sad seeing all these characters who have been so well developed over three movies who we love and know so intimately?
God you weren't deeply emotionally affected by watching Adi Gallia? I just don't understand how like as a society like I feel like it's almost like if you like shot down all the FBI agents and people are like alright he's our leader now I guess. I guess we just live in a world where all cops are dead. I mean like he declares himself the emperor and then people are cool with it.
Yeah they just applaud. They're like alright great great you look fine. You look great. So you're telling me we had two armies and then one of the armies killed the other army but we're doing better as a result.
That's what you're telling me. And you are now our leader. Got it. Alright.
Of the two armies you pick the clones not the like space wizards. Those guys seem really on top of shit. Right. It's like when Bane in the crappy Dark Knight movie comes out and he's like you know Commissioner Gordon lied to you.
He said it on this piece of paper I have here which I will not show to anyone. Anyway I'm having produced a piece of paper. I've been referring to it as a Jedi holocaust. We got a email from a listener Brandon Bernstein who suggested we call it a Jedi side instead because it's a Jedi genocide.
But what it is like you think about you know something like not to invoke George Lucas' favorite subject clearly something like 9-11 and how hard it was and still for our nation to recover from that many people dying at once. And that was a totally random cross section of people. Something like the holocaust where it was like all the Jews are gone was like well this is a hate crime. It's targeted.
The Jedis are this even weirder thing because they're not only like is it a hate crime but they're also the people that we entrusted to protect us in this galaxy. But it's also like everyone with one particular job. What if it was like let's kill every garbage man in America. Their power has gone and checked long enough.
Right. Everyone would be so fucking freaked out. It would be crazy. Even if it was a garbage man it would take them years to recover.
No one would ever be a garbage man. No one would ever want to do that. But secondly they were the guys who were kind of your space cops. For them to just openly be like okay whatever Palpatine says it's nuts it's bananas.
Bananas. It's also like such a sad thing to be like hey I built this great world you know the coolest part of it the Jedi then none of them anymore. Yeah we can't have those guys. The thing that you specifically liked about my science fiction universe.
Too much fun. Too much fun. So who survives? Yoda, Obi-Wan.
Yoda survives by chopping off some clone heads. Right and then he fights Palpatine. He fights Palpatine they throw a bunch of Pogs at each other. They sort of have a Pog fight.
And then he's like I messed up. I really messed up. I wasn't defeated but I also didn't conclusively win the battle. I guess I should just leave.
You guys hide me. Yeah he just goes. So Obi-Wan survives. Is he on U-U-Tap?
No he goes to Tatooine. The two of them are on fucking Alderaan. Yoda. Alderaan?
What's that? That's Organa's planet. Oh okay. He's not the guy that takes one of the babies.
Yeah no Jimmy Smith. I know Jimmy Smith. I know from Jimmy Smith. It looks like the moon.
It's like lunar cavities with little bubbles on it. It looks like our Earth moon. Because George Lucas' son saved James Smith. The little kid.
George Lucas' son. For a character we've never seen before. He teams up with Yoda and Obi-Wan they go back to his home planet and then they're like what should we do about this? And it's like well we definitely shouldn't be Jedis anymore.
Number one. Let's just stop being Jedis because that's not a cool thing to be anymore apparently. Number two. I have a great plan for the two Jedi kids that just got born.
Anakin's kids. One should be taken to Anakin's home. This might be next episode stuff. I'm just saying bad Jedi planning does not die with the Jedi Holocaust they stick to the bad plans but Organa is like why don't you go to Tatooine where Anakin's relatives live and by Anakin's relatives he means his only living relatives his stepbrother and his wife right so it's his stepbrother and wife through the stepfather he met only after his mother had been kidnapped from the father he met her he didn't even see that together as a family unit the second owner of his mother who then married her his kid maybe that's a great place to snatch a baby to be like who would you never go see oh your stepbrother you met once a lot of bad memories who gives a shit it's kind of fun to imagine just like robot Darth Vader showing up and being like hi like getting dinner with them and being like so how are things it's crazy you look so different you look crazy has anyone told you this you're unrecognizable I went there with I'm Mustafi oh it was real bad it was real bad trying to you do not want me to take his mask off alright not at dinner this is delicious for me this is a good chef but yeah Obi-Wan goes to Tatooine and Yoda comes somewhere he gets to ship and leaves I'll hide but they have one final conversation it's not that it's a little before this is an important conversation it's literally like okay so what happened today we didn't kill any of our enemies Palpatine took over the galaxy all the Jedi's were exterminated that kid you were training was instrumental has turned into a homicidal mania and oh I forgot to tell you one crazy thing that came up today remember Qui-Gon do you remember that guy do you remember that guy who was your master do you remember Qui-Gon Jinn I recently heard from him I can't believe I didn't tell you this and Obi-Wan's like oh god he's going senile Qui-Gon's dead he doesn't remember it's like when your grandma calls out for the daughter who died 10 years earlier Qui-Gon figured out how to I don't know turn into a spirit or something he figured out how to transcend death by becoming part of the force or something like that good news Jedi's fell and whatever was because Palpatine preyed on Anakin's insecurity about not being able to skirt death meanwhile Yoda knew the whole time he was like oh no the Jedi figured out how to skirt death oh yeah yeah yeah FYI FYI yeah you can just come back he could have just shared that information and none of this movie would have happened but then everybody skirted death so Yoda says yeah everyone it's real proprietary Yoda says to him he's like well you're hanging on Tatooine for the rest of your life if you could do me a favor and study how to transcend death it's the most annoying tossed off like grand idea he's like Qui-Gon has figured it out but he didn't explain it to me so if you're gonna be alone on a desert planet for 30 years maybe just try to talk to that ghost and figure out what's going on and I heard there was a plan to bring Liam Neeson back for this and that didn't work or something like there were originally concepts that maybe Liam Neeson was gonna show up in this movie he was probably busy that weekend is this a Lucasfilm?
no no I mean again all this cool shit is just brought up right at the end of this movie you have giant like nine foot tall hairy things that's true you have five minutes you have the ability to transcend death not in this movie nope like what? why do you bring these things up? and who triumphs at the end of this movie? the cartoon clone trooper guys who are like they're just lame and they all look the same and they wear yeah those are the guys who win it's like if you got a murder mystery and you put a gun in the drawer at the end of the play and went next play that's gonna be pretty good I want to see something happen in this play we should call that the Lucas's gun theory of drama that's the Lucas's gun theory that is totally right put a gun in a drawer and reference the fact that it's there did Lucas just read about that and was like no I'm gonna make three movies I knocked over a trip in spite of the water that's how angry David's getting right now three movies that set up all kinds of stuff are they gonna pay off?
no definitely not we'll get a coughing robot thing me too they make throw out three there's so many mistakes they probably shouldn't have adopted Anakin he kind of pulls up in their face but even then they probably could have raised him better yeah you know what I really dislike about how they deal with Anakin they constantly go like Anakin I think you're really angry but they don't go like we're the jedis we're these wise people of presumably selflessness and hopefully empathy to go like Anakin has anger problems let's start talking to you like Anakin are you doing alright? then maybe he'd say like well I fell in love with Queen Madala and I'd be like what? no no no no that's bad we got gold here buddy do you remember when you were like a little kid and your parents would go like somebody's tired and you go like I'm not tired like you didn't want people telling you what you were that's how they deal with Anakin throughout all three movies they just go like somebody's angry and he's like I'm not angry and it's like just talk to him about what's going on in his life massage these issues I mean it just seems like they don't there's a lot of red flags in the movies hell of a lot of red flags hell of a lot of red flags yeah and also the Sith like let's not forget they unveil themselves in episode one they literally give them every opportunity like figure out who we are we keep showing up they have three movies to do it they don't do it Anakin figures it out and gets tempted to the best also this is over the course of like I'd assume 20 something years it's a long time and they sit there back and they're like I mean fine we killed one of them that's it there's so many frustrating things about this series there's only one Sith right or is it two I always forget if it's one or two we should check the Jedi archives sometime our power to sense the force has been diminished they say that all the time they keep saying their powers are diminished also all the powers in the Jedi archives have been deleted weird and there's this clone or me that a Jedi order let's not look into it also it's weird the Chancellor's like not leaving office he just keeps staying around and everything kind of conspires to like he's fine but they're like airport security where they're like hey you don't have any dark side water bottles are at your end and then you find out someone just brought a bomb on the plane they pat him down once with the back of their hands they're like you're cool you're clean he literally decorates his whole office red his whole office is red and black and he writes Sith in the carpet he's also always asking a young Padawan to hang out with him which if not dark side is still something to be questioned can you let this 15 year old kid hang out with me for a few hours nothing will happen so is this what Luke is trying to say so like all things must pass the Jedi just became too bloated and unreactive you know like is this their problem that balance had to come that's the weird thing is that like because it's literally two and two at the end of the movie yes Palpatine balance they did it Obi-Wan Yoda could Sidious and Anakin bad two and two balance he did bring balance to force good job and it almost would have been three against one and then Anakin was like now I'll become a Sith you perfectly balance this the Sith and Palpatine are obviously an aggressive deliberate force of evil right they're people who are trying to burn down the galaxy yeah and they take pleasure in their like emotions they take pleasure in destruction and anger and stuff right he's always laughing Sidious as he fights but I feel like it does not feel like Lucas's opinion of the Jedi would have been in this film is positive in any way to a degree I think it's shitty screenwriting that he makes them that unawares of everything going on all the time but I also think he's ramping up to some sort of point about like I don't know how like absolute power corrupts absolutely whether consciously or just through like a sort of laziness that can sneak in you know a complacency with your position that stops them from being active and alert but then why doesn't he kill off like the biggest villain in this movie and why was this movie made by a man who had more power in making a movie than anyone ever had in making a movie ever there has never been an independent film financed fully by one person's own money at this budget in which he also across the three films so at its most extreme by the time we get to this point developed technology to be able to control every single element on screen more so than anything in the history of filmmaking to micromanage every element so there is no spontaneity and everything is within this control and the thesis of the movie is power ruins everything whether you're aware of it or not whether you weaponize it or you just allow it to let you become dull power ruins everything I mean I think it's just a bad movie it's a bad fucking movie but don't you think Yoda should have died because Yoda's kind of the chief architect of the Jedi's collapse this is a great point and Yoda's also a shitty character and he's a real shithead I think it's hard I mean you know you don't see Luke you don't see Anakin Luke the baby you don't see baby Luke grow up but like I think Yoda's just too cute to kill I think Luke is hanging himself into this corner where Yoda should die but then he's like this cute little small thing always by Miss Piggy you know he's not wrong are you guys watching the Muppets? I've heard it's not great it's really tough they're like it's grown up Muppets and you're like no one wanted this no who asked for this also not to fucking make this a whole thing but the Muppets were always for grown ups and they were grown ups because they were intelligently written and now they're doing Muppets for grown ups on a very dumb surface level where it's like Muppets talking about dating and taxes no one would see the Muppets like drinking coffee in the morning that's not what we think of the Muppets what would a Muppet look like if he was eating over slaps that's what I want to know those are the things that everyone hates about grown ups like the original Muppets drudgery why would we want to see drudgery but it's fun cartoon animals and that's sort of what Yoda is you're like he's this adorable little thing he should be so he's a frog he's a frog man and instead he's like you know he meets a little adorable slave boy and he's like I forget where it was but she was kept in a hole for a hundred years she escaped and everyone was like well obviously we should get her a seat and Yoda was like not so fast she's pretty young has she paid her dues yeah yeah Yoda actually objected Yoda was a ship he goes she survived literally by eating the force the force was all the disinter in that hole we love Yaddle is that like a hook where they eat like the imagined soup from the ball that's exactly what it was she was eating force pizza she was eating force sundaes that's what I would do alright I'm sorry that's off track but Yoda is really shitty yeah I'm just saying it might have been nice to see Yoda just get like bam between the eyes yeah I agree with you David directly leads to the downfall of the Jedi by not sharing information by not being more perceptive by judging everybody by being rainbow of everybody I'd say Obi-Wan blows it second most and these two guys are the guys who get to survive yeah I mean Anakin blows it too let's not but I almost give Obi-Wan a drop of a hat by the way can we I know you're talking about he's very cool with killing those kids no problem but if I turned evil like I'd be more gradual yeah you'd have a bill to it like I'd also kill for my mom like I would just kill like a classroom he killed a kid again based on just Sidia saying like well the dark side might save your wife who you had a dream about once yeah let's ease him into this there's no rush it's an artificial rush that Palpatine's created himself and if the story creates stuff because the story has to be about a holocaust though yeah I do think though that by the end of the third film you realize how culpable Yoda is and Yoda deciding to banish himself does feel like yeah he says failed I have right it feels like a little too late like they make it through the way it's set up it feels like that's a direct response to him failing the fight with Palpatine when really it's like he's realizing that he failed overall yeah he failed entirely because let's be honest if Yoda had killed Palpatine like what's the situation then probably wouldn't be like oh okay all better now no like all the Jedi's are dead it could be like some other Jedi left right or no I mean it can't just be like oh we got all of them but two that were friends it does seem hard to believe there's gotta be a few others like I don't know it's something like 15,000 yeah I don't know it's a it would be satisfying to have one of those endings where you realize that Yoda was kind of a villain all along and not like a twisty mustache like I was working the gears but it's like through negligence he was as bad a force as those who were deliberately evil and to see him get a lightsaber through the brain might have been nice and why not this is the last movie what are you saving George why let him go off and have a nice life in seclusion why David's holding his hand he wanted to make a fourth movie I don't think Padme has two kids a fourth movie Mike yes Mike yes Mike yes please tweet at Mike hashtag Mike yes I mean we talked about this I don't know if you know this Mike but George Lucas did sell Lucasfilm to Disney recently I think mostly because they wanted the Indiana Jones franchise and the remake rights to Tucker, a man in history yeah Strange Magic Strange Magic, Willow there are a lot of good things he wanted to make the Monkey Island games again they were able to work Howard the Duck back into Guardians of the Galaxy that's true yeah Radio Land Murders of course would work very well as a TV series anyway please just keep naming Lucasfilm I think there may be two more yeah there's a lot if he had wanted to make a fourth film I think he would have done what was stopping him lack of finances age lack of confidence or maybe burnout from doing three in a row maybe he wants some other stuff he produced Red Tails he produced Red Tails he sold the company to Disney and you know we've been saying I mean they are sitting on despite how hated these movies are what was a very successful trilogy of films and Disney's very property minded franchise minded it would not be out of this realm to assume that Sunday Disney would try to do an episode four do you think they try to fucking work Yoda back into it I mean like I'm sure why not Frank Oz is still available as a villain as what yeah Yoda turns evil but does he fight Obi-Wan or is there like I mean you have those babies but maybe he tries to kill the babies you think Yoda tries to kill the babies probably or steal them to raise them himself I'm just saying if he brought me into a pitch meeting and were like a fourth Star Wars movie what would you do I'd be like okay Yoda's creeping into a child's bedroom lightsaber Brandon this is the opening scene in the movie and then Obi-Wan checks him in 2 this opening scene is Obi-Wan kills Yoda bisect him okay so now Obi-Wan's standing with a bisected Yoda over two babies yeah yeah sure what scene 2 two and a half hours after that two 20 minutes later 20 minutes later I got a crazy idea call me nuts is that crazy to a prequel to Phantom Menace we haven't talked about this also I forgot to mention like the closing shot of the movie is Uncle Owen looking at like this stuff okay great what does that fucking mean it's probably setting him up to be the hero of number 4 and Joel Edgerton has become a pretty famous actor that's true so you think interesting you think Owen and Beru would have been the two stars are male and female stars of the next Star Wars movie yeah that makes sense and a reason kid yeah you know oh something else I want to mention please because we haven't talked about this you know how the poster for the Phantom Menace is Anakin walking and then there's this shadow he's casting that shadow is Darth Vader armor oh yeah the armor that he puts on that's how far in advance Lucas was thinking with this so he knows it's impressive well I wonder if he just had the general design in his head and sort of followed it or if he had the exact Darth Vader plan maybe he had just yeah he's like yeah I don't know he's going to put this on also kind of like I mean I guess it makes sense with a voice on a little but it's weird to switch out Hayden Christensen's voice for James Earl Jones voice for a line.
For just one line to get that big of an actor in there, for just one line. Yeah, but why not maybe use James Earl Jones to play General Grievous? That guy has several scenes. Yeah.
You know, maybe, and then get the sound guy to do Darth Vader for a minute. Yeah. David, I have a crazy notion, a crazy question. Is there any chance that the design of Darth Vader was reverse engineered from that poster?
Not impossible. Right? They did the poster. Yeah, they were like, he'll become something evil.