The Left Wants to “Decolonize” Christmas Baking - Best of Variety episode artwork

EPISODE · Dec 26, 2025 · 1H 8M

The Left Wants to “Decolonize” Christmas Baking - Best of Variety

from Ruthless Podcast · host Josh Holmes, Comfortably Smug, Michael Duncan and John Ashbrook

🎙️ Get ready for a whole stack of holiday-flavored chaos. We start with the most deranged “ideology in baking” moment imaginable: a decolonized Christmas cookie pitch that tries to rewrite history through masa, honey, and pure self-seriousness. From there, we’re right into the spirit of the season: the stuff that’s supposed to be wholesome, until it isn’t. 🐫 ️Next up, we hit peak pageantry with a live-nativity-adjacent church scene that includes camels walking the aisle—right up until one of them detonates a kick into an unsuspecting face. Then we keep the decorations theme rolling: a car fully wrapped in Christmas lights attempts a heroic pass… and immediately turns into a cautionary tale. 🎄 And because the holidays are nothing without juvenile sabotage, we get the garage-door letter swap that takes “Merry Christmas” somewhere deeply unfit for polite company—followed by our own story time about a neighborhood snow sculpture that gets an anatomical “upgrade.” ⚡Then we flash back to our favorite variety segments from 2025. From men fighting gorillas to umpire nut-shots. Relive the best of 2025 with the fellas. ️ 00:00 - Holiday laughs with the fellas and a fresh stack of variety 03:23 - “Decolonized Christmas” cookies 07:03 - Live nativity chaos: camel strolls into church, then the kick lands 10:08 - Christmas car eats it 11:18 - Classic Christmas Variety 18:12 - Vintage Variety: 100 men vs 1 gorilla simulations 22:39 - 10,000 gorillas vs 1,000,000 men and the morale problem 24:39 - Airborne elbow-drop strategy talk for gorilla combat 29:18 - Vintage Variety: Rhode Island prosecutor arrest bodycam 37:40 - The Washington Post tries “Gen Z” sketch comedy 42:49 - New angle on the F-15 backseat ejection footage 44:24 - Padres field-runner kid gets tackled 45:21 - ESPN tries to fix itself 50:33 - Best umpire nut hit in history 54:12 - Wild pigs turn bright blue in California 57:35 - Drunk man drives airport cart through walkway 51:28 - Adults using pacifiers to cope 51:55 - Year-end reflections and variety chaos Our Sponsors: ➢Tell your lawmaker to put parents first. NetChoice is dedicated to making the Internet safe for free expression and free enterprise: http://netchoice.org/keepappstoressafe ➢We can create a space where girls can connect and thrive. Get involved today at https://empowerourfuturecoalition.com/ ➢Go to https://zbiotics.com/RUTHLESS and use RUTHLESS at checkout for 15% off any first time orders of ZBiotics probiotics. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

🎙️ Get ready for a whole stack of holiday-flavored chaos. We start with the most deranged “ideology in baking” moment imaginable: a decolonized Christmas cookie pitch that tries to rewrite history through masa, honey, and pure self-seriousness. From there, we’re right into the spirit of the season: the stuff that’s supposed to be wholesome, until it isn’t. 🐫 ️Next up, we hit peak pageantry with a live-nativity-adjacent church scene that includes camels walking the aisle—right up until one of them detonates a kick into an unsuspecting face. Then we keep the decorations theme rolling: a car fully wrapped in Christmas lights attempts a heroic pass… and immediately turns into a cautionary tale. 🎄 And because the holidays are nothing without juvenile sabotage, we get the garage-door letter swap that takes “Merry Christmas” somewhere deeply unfit for polite company—followed by our own story time about a neighborhood snow sculpture that gets an anatomical “upgrade.” ⚡Then we flash back to our favorite variety segments from 2025. From men fighting gorillas to umpire nut-shots. Relive the best of 2025 with the fellas. ️ 00:00 - Holiday laughs with the fellas and a fresh stack of variety 03:23 - “Decolonized Christmas” cookies 07:03 - Live nativity chaos: camel strolls into church, then the kick lands 10:08 - Christmas car eats it 11:18 - Classic Christmas Variety 18:12 - Vintage Variety: 100 men vs 1 gorilla simulations 22:39 - 10,000 gorillas vs 1,000,000 men and the morale problem 24:39 - Airborne elbow-drop strategy talk for gorilla combat 29:18 - Vintage Variety: Rhode Island prosecutor arrest bodycam 37:40 - The Washington Post tries “Gen Z” sketch comedy 42:49 - New angle on the F-15 backseat ejection footage 44:24 - Padres field-runner kid gets tackled 45:21 - ESPN tries to fix itself 50:33 - Best umpire nut hit in history 54:12 - Wild pigs turn bright blue in California 57:35 - Drunk man drives airport cart through walkway 51:28 - Adults using pacifiers to cope 51:55 - Year-end reflections and variety chaos Our Sponsors: ➢Tell your lawmaker to put parents first. NetChoice is dedicated to making the Internet safe for free expression and free enterprise: http://netchoice.org/keepappstoressafe ➢We can create a space where girls can connect and thrive. Get involved today at https://empowerourfuturecoalition.com/ ➢Go to https://zbiotics.com/RUTHLESS and use RUTHLESS at checkout for 15% off any first time orders of ZBiotics probiotics. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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The Left Wants to “Decolonize” Christmas Baking - Best of Variety

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This episode is 1 hour and 8 minutes long.

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This episode was published on December 26, 2025.

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🎙️ Get ready for a whole stack of holiday-flavored chaos. We start with the most deranged “ideology in baking” moment imaginable: a decolonized Christmas cookie pitch that tries to rewrite history through masa, honey, and pure self-seriousness....

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