The Midnight Scroll: “All My Friends Who Have Kids Are in Hell”

Welcome to Season 2 of Feeding To Sleep!I’m so excited to be back with a new season and a brand new segment I’m calling The Midnight Scroll, where I share my unedited and unfiltered takes on the world of baby sleep, breastfeeding, and motherhood on social media.We’ve all been there at some point: up in the middle of the night scrolling while feeding your baby back to sleep.These episodes are short, real, and a little bit messy (just like motherhood).I wanted to start with this quote because I’ve seen it everywhere on my feed:“All of my friends who have kids are in hell. I don't know anyone. l actually don't know anyone who's like happy and has children at this age.“ Chappell Roan on Call Her DaddyThe internet is divided on how they feel about her comments.Some mums are defending their choices.Some are agreeing.Others are calling her a mean girl and misogynistic.Some are saying she’s just being honest.It’s not a simple conversation and that’s kind of the point.Here’s what I think:Chappell isn’t making a sweeping statement about all mothers. She’s sharing what she sees in her circle of friends. From her vantage point. And where she’s standing as a young, single, touring, living in a completely different reality from her parent friends so it’s not surprising that motherhood looks like hell.And maybe her friends are struggling. Maybe they tell her they’re not sleeping. Maybe she sees the stress. Maybe, like a lot of us, they vent when they catch up with someone outside the chaos. And the way she speaks about it, it sounds like those could have even been the words her friends used to jokingly describe their experience.We will never know.That doesn’t make her wrong or a terrible person for the comment. It also doesn’t mean she’s seeing the full picture.Motherhood isn’t one single experience. It’s not hell. It’s not pure bliss either. It’s a lot of things at once.Joy, overwhelm, love, rage, grief, magic.Support for mothers is lacking and unrealistic expectations are everywhere, so ya it can feel like hell sometimes.But that’s not the whole story.There’s no perfect way to mother and there’s no perfect way to talk about motherhood either.But we do need more space for all of it.So I made some space for it.Listen to Episode 1 of The Midnight ScrollAnd let me know what you think about this quote.With love + support,JessFeeding to SleepNote: This podcast is not medical advice. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit feedingtosleep.substack.com