The Praise Muscle: Why Compliments Feel Clunky (And How to Fix That)

We're wired for negativity. It kept us alive on the savannah, and it's keeping us stuck in our relationships today — noticing every open cupboard door, every pair of shoes left out, while the good stuff slides right off us like a fried egg on a non-stick pan. In this episode, Matt and Karl get into the other side of the feedback conversation: what happens when we stop just tolerating the people we love and actually start seeing them again. From a plate of food arriving unannounced at a desk, to complimenting a stranger on his trousers, to finally saying why you're grateful rather than just muttering "cheers" — this is about building the muscle of explicit appreciation. It turns out it's awkward at first. It turns out it's also worth it. Plus: the Harvard study that proves talking to strangers on trains makes your day better, the Nine Whys method applied to a dinner gesture, and why Karl can't bring himself to compliment another man's aftershave.   The Clearing — a space for men navigating questions without easy answers. We would love to hear from you, with your practices, and/or any questions you might have around self care.   Email us at [email protected] Follows us here: Instagram Website