The Problem Is Never the Problem | Chuck Gose

When a client relationship turns difficult, it almost never starts with the thing you're actually arguing about. There's a manager behind the scenes applying pressure. An organizational fire nobody told you about. A misalignment of expectations that was there from day one. The minutiae you're debating is just the surface.In this Between the Seasons episode of Why Does It Feel So Wrong to Be Human at Work?, Pinaki Kathiari and Chris Lee bring back Chuck Gose, founder of ICology and co-host of the Frequency podcast, to talk about working with difficult clients. Chuck, by his own correction, does not push people. He elevates them to greatness.They get into what actually makes a relationship 'difficult' (usually misaligned expectations or personalities, not bad people), why your instinct to defend yourself makes everything worse, how a Batman figurine in your background can build more connection than any pitch deck, and the difference between failure and being wrong, that Chuck argues most people get completely backwards.In this episode, they discuss:• Why a difficult client is usually a misalignment of expectations or personalities, not a bad person• Breaking the ice with levity when things get tense, and why almost nothing you do is brain surgery• The relationship as a third living thing in the room that you both shape• Why the issue at hand is rarely the actual issue• How defensiveness triggers defensiveness, and how to break the loop• Chuck on why failure and wrong are not the same thing, and what science gets right about it• Connection as the bedrock that gets you through the rough patches (yes, your Zoom background counts)• When to walk away from a client, and why the best exits happen togetherPlus: Chuck has a notebook of things he's been right about. Pinaki wants one too.Heads up: Pinaki and Chuck Gose are presenting together for the first time at IABC World Conference in Toronto. 'Communication in Motion: The Science Behind Messages That Move People' on June 15 at 1:30. Pinaki is also presenting 'The Dance Floor Doesn't Lie: What Communicators Can Learn From DJs' with Monique Zytnik on June 16 at 3:00. Plus Comms Reboot, the unconference hosted by Jenni Fields of Redefining Communications. Links in the episode description.Check out Comms Reboot here.Learn more about IABC World Conference here.  ---Connect with UsPinaki Kathiari – LinkedIn  | Local WisdomChris Lee – LinkedIn | Gallagher CommunicationBree Bartos – LinkedIn | Local WisdomSpecial thanks to digital communication agency Local Wisdom (www.localwisdom.com) for really believing in our mission and making this podcast possible. If this episode made you think differently, laugh, or even yell out loud, we want to hear about it! Connect with us on LinkedIn, and don’t forget to rate, review, and share – maybe with your work bestie… or even your boss if you're feeling bold. We also bring these important conversations to conferences and private workshops, creating space for real, meaningful change. Take the first step at www.whydoesitfeelsowrong.com.