The story of Rob M.: Grief in Recovery

Kicking off our March “Grief in Recovery” series is the story of Rob M., a man whose journey shows how recovery can carry us through life’s deepest losses.In junior high school, Rob was placed in advanced classes while his mother returned to school, leaving him alone at home for long stretches of time. Struggling with anxiety, he was taken to a psychiatrist who prescribed a highly addictive medication to help him focus and manage his nerves. When the prescription ran out, Rob quickly discovered marijuana—and for the next 23 years he smoked nonstop, using anything else he could get his hands on to keep the anxiety at bay. Despite his addiction, Rob managed to earn a bachelor’s degree and was accepted into law school, but his disease kept sabotaging his progress. Unable to finish, he returned home to work in the family business, where his father—unsure how to confront his son’s addiction—unknowingly enabled it.Eventually, Rob’s addiction became impossible to hide. His behavior grew so unpredictable that workers in the family business began refusing to work with him out of fear for their safety. Around the same time Rob began finding his way into recovery, his father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Rob hoped to celebrate a recovery anniversary with his father present, believing there would be time for his father to mentor him into taking over the business. But life unfolded differently. His father passed away, and while Rob was grieving, the demands of the business did not stop—creditors called, customers needed service, and the responsibilities of adulthood arrived all at once. Feeling overwhelmed and ready to give up, Rob was encouraged by the men in the rooms and a supportive cousin to stay the course and keep going.Recovery began giving Rob gifts he never expected. He built a family and devoted himself fully to supporting them, eventually stepping away from the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous for a time while still remaining clean. Years later, Rob returned to the fellowship with renewed humility—finding a sponsor, working the Steps for the first time, and reconnecting with the program that had first helped save his life. Today he holds commitments at his home group and at the area level, serving as Literature Chair for Nassau County Narcotics Anonymous and developing a deep appreciation for the wisdom found in NA literature.With 32 years clean, Rob has experienced the loss of many family members and friends, yet through every wave of grief he has never found a reason to use. No longer working in the family business, he now drives a school bus—a job that has brought him fulfillment and perspective in ways he never expected. His story is a reminder that recovery does not remove grief from our lives, but it gives us the tools, the fellowship, and the strength to keep moving forward—one day at a time.