The Truth About Emotions

Welcome to the second season of the Jenni Carroll Perspective. In this series we will discuss the different parts of us, the human parts that influence not only how we experience our lives, but also what we experience in our lives. In today’s episode we will focus on the topic of emotion, and how the type of relationship with have with our feelings can either support us in living an easier, more extraordinary life or one that is much more challenging than we want or need it to be.

We start by discussing the purpose of emotion. Emotions are a necessary tool that allow us to process our interaction with our environment. Without feelings we would lack investment in our lives, intellectually functioning but without caring. It is our emotion that essentially gives us our “humanness” and without feelings we would be living an entirely different type of existence.

It is also important to understand what emotions are not. We are not our feelings. While most of us would agree with this statement, we sometimes behave as though we were.

Each one of us has a specific relationship with emotion that falls somewhere on a spectrum. At one end are the “avoiders,” people who are intent on dodging their feelings no matter the circumstance. It is important to understand the difference between feeling emotions and being an emotional person. The problem here is that ignored feelings do not go away, but instead have the opportunity to re-emerge in negative, harmful ways.

At the other end of the spectrum are those of us who consistently get overwhelmed by feelings. For these individuals, emotions become the defining feature of their lives, and often serve as an obstacle to finding clarity and making necessary decisions.

For each of these seemingly contradictory relationship styles, there is a foundation of fear. The “avoider” fears being consumed by emotion, and the “paralyzer” fears personal insignificance without emotion. For both, the ultimate, deepest fear is to cease to exist. 

Having an ideal or healthy relationship with our feelings is described as cultivating presence.  Here is where we allow for our feelings in real time, acknowledging what we are experiencing, but then consciously releasing our feelings in order to move forward. We use the analogy of a surfer to illustrate this style.

Finally, we revisit the principle of Primary Awareness. We are reminded that connecting to our inner wisdom allows us to separate from our feelings while recognizing that we are much more than both our emotion and whatever external circumstance is causing our pain.

Thank you so much for listening.  If you enjoyed the information presented in today's discussion, please consider subscribing to the Jenni Carroll Perspective.

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