This week's episode of the Wild Guard Podcast is brought to you by... Possibly the greatest musical film ever, Pink Floyd's The Wall. It's by anything... It has nothing but a long music...
...and that's the reason why the rest of the world is singing to you. You're fine as a music music music. There's a song like, there's a song that goes on with it. It's a piece of animation.
It's a piece of animation. It's a piece of animation. It's a piece of animation. That's why you couldn't do it.
I'm not afraid of this piece of music. I feel like it's a piece of animation. You can never mouth this. Welcome to the Wild Guard Podcast.
I'm your host, Jared Eaton, and my co-pilots on this journey to wherever are my good friends, Jeff Curtis. Hello. And the original Gaviator, Emilio Blair Fart, aka Ron Blair. I don't know whether to be offended.
I can't. In my soul find it could be offensive, although I should. Also joining us today are our special guest, Ron's daughter, Mackenzie Blair. What's up?
You're leaving coolest Blair at the table. Not in the family. I would say. I don't know.
Kayla Blair is pretty freaking awesome. As long as we're not in the wrong. I'm the dad. Pretending he's in public, but left with him.
I'm not going to say puns in public. When I hear a fan when I go, oh god. You should never spend any time around Blake. I have.
Is the thing. I've spent so much time around Blake. I go, I hate this. He did.
He's about Mamia versus a hundred of them. Are you really? I'm a fan of music. I need to know.
Of course it is. He's ridiculous. I love him. He's ready to be filmed.
It was something. It's too much. It's rather a little offended he kind of insulted Tim. Although I was like 26, 26, 26, musical all about Landon is not in Mamia.
I played him for Phoebus from Hunchback. Speaking of Ron what's this podcast all about? The famous part of the section of the episode, what story? The next season, it was an actual thing.
It was an actual thing. It was a Google translate. Yes. That's why I don't know Spanish.
So when retranslate the Spanish back to English, what's it say? This is a beautiful thing. I will say, by the way, not knowing he was doing that I did give him the name Emilio. It's true.
We're going to be an expensive one. Let's see. The Wild Card podcast is about bringing friends together to dissect and disseminate facts based upon reliable resources. Wait, that's what I actually have to transmit.
Right back to it? Yeah. That's what I'm doing. Hold on.
No. Actually, what you asked for me is that this is an important thing. All listeners are waiting with baited breath to find out what Google is talking about. I am.
I am. Let's see. Okay. I'm trying.
You're taking forever. I know. I'm just poking his phone with fingers. Like, what's bigger?
You're so old. Do you know how to do this? No. Just copy it.
Oh my God. I can do this. I'm doing it right now. I'm doing it right now.
I'm doing it right now. Okay. The podcast is going to be over by the time you're podcasting. I'm not just out there.
You're going to build a new technology. I will. The wild card podcast tries to gather friends to dissect and disseminate facts based on reliable resources. So it's not so good.
We're gathering friends. We're gathering friends. I was just thinking we were dissecting our friends. We were dissecting our friends.
Yeah. Next time it will be a great. Let me tell you what this wild card podcast is all about. What's about us talking about ourselves?
The one thing we do. The popcorn. On every episode except for the first episode. It's about our favorites.
What? Well, our first episode was a favorite episode. I think it was. It was about the first episode.
We're going to be doing a favorite episode. We're going to be doing a favorite episode. So today's favorite question is incredibly simple. What are you saying?
A favorite beverage is? Oh, I like a Coca-Cola. How do you know? How do you know?
In particular? We're talking about any. Regardless of whether we drink it on a database. I just said.
Cokacola out of a fountain, very cold without mice. I disagree. I like Coca-Cola. It's my show.
Shut your mouth. Shut your mouth. My favorite. She doesn't know other things.
She doesn't. Only one of you can pick on me. All of us. All of us are going to.
You say you're an actually only two of you can pick on me. I'm going to go to sleep. Right. No, let me change my to Barks root beer.
Yes. Barks out of fountains. Can you have more than a favorite? I have a lot of them.
I was a lot of them. I was a fountain drink, but my favorite method of drinking is glass bottle. Oh, no, that's what I'm saying. I like that.
I'm such an ice fan. I like that. When I said I disagree, I really like a Coke that's in a glass bottle that you pour over ice. I like that.
I like that. I like a glass glass. Not a bottle. Glass glass with ice with Mountain Dew on it.
Or my orchards. This is not a fan of Mountain Dew. It has to be the full-throated stuff. It can't be the dye do.
The dye do. It can't be the sugar stuff. It's got to have that corn syrup in there so that you get this corn syrup coating. And it goes down.
But once we're there, like, made with real sugar. Those are awful. And they're one time when I went to Kroger a number of years ago and they had diet capping free Mountain Dew. Well, what's the fucking point?
Yeah, there's no point. It's a caffeine that's about new. I drink it for its shitty taste. I would have water than a diet beverage.
The only diet I've ever been able to tolerate is a diet cherry Pepsi. No, I hate a diet. I heard the same thing. But diet cherry Pepsi over ice.
It had to be over ice. It had to be a certain way for it to be palatable. I sat with a glass bottle that is very chilled. I don't know what that guy is doing.
That's why he's doing the chilling. And for me, I mentioned 40, but cock and bull. I haven't tried to cut out sugar so I don't read it anymore. It's a very spicy ginger ale.
It's called a ginger beer. It's not alcoholic. It's too much ginger for me. I love it.
I like the good margarita. Especially the ones I made. You've got to use the top shelf. Tequila in the top shelf.
Triple sec. To make it. And then fresh. And I'm in the fresh limes.
But it's like 40 proof. It's a lot. They're so tasty. Do your blender on the rocks.
I do them on the rocks. Sometimes I'll get a blender dip. But they're never as strong as you go out because they don't want you drinking and driving. It's probably a good call.
But I found that if you get it blended, it actually lasts longer. It's just as refreshing because it cools your throat. That's true. But I'm a nice chewer.
I like to drink the ice. I like to eat the ice. My go-to drink. And bars for a long time.
If they're done wrong, they're not good. That's true. I guess that is. But that's right.
You know, there's my American honey, the honey bourbon. That's one of the only bourbon I can drink. And that rivolits up the nut flavor. Oh, I kind of know what you're talking about.
I forget the. Can I drink some of it? Yeah, I can't tell you that. You really liked it.
I forget which nut it's made. It's not. It's not. It's not.
It was the. Of course. It wasn't almond. It wasn't almond.
It was all that. It was walnut liqueur. It was very good. I don't really drink alcohol.
I neither. Not really. But I've been in Bardstown. Pork and bear like thing.
Pork and casket, bear like that. Pork and casket, pork and casket. Pork and casket. It's baryly.
Baryly and cork and casket. I got a Bardstown mule there. Mule is just a beverage. I still have mule in there.
I've been throwing it round the ball. I've been throwing it round the ball. Sorry, Blair. This entire podcast is now about the time.
Yes, I'm a mule. Mule is typically like bourbon and ginger beer. This one had ginger beer and bourbon in it and a lot of lime. It was actually pretty good.
It's one of the few alcoholic beverage that I've almost finished. That's interesting. I said I'm like alcohol enough though. Is it a matter of taste that you don't drink the alcohol?
Yeah, I just am only call it's probably. Every time I drink it, I feel like I'm cleaning windows. I do like to make it. I don't drink.
I don't drink. I'll have a little wine occasionally, but I usually don't finish a glass because I'd rather have water and we're soft drinks and I'm trying to cut those out. Usually I have my fridge and I'm like, you've had naked juice before? No.
I don't know what I have. It's a lot of fruits and almost like a smoothie. It's a bunch of fruit juice put together from fruit. I like those.
I usually have orange mango or something like that. I never had plum wine. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it.
I didn't know what I was. I didn't know what I was. It's a sweet wine. That's surprising because plums are usually pretty tart.
My mom and sift are trying to learn different wines. That's how the flannel vacation is like winery. They have chocolate wines before. They have cajun wine that's spice to it.
I'm like that when I would try that. I would try any of those wines just to see. Just out of curiosity. Those kinds of wines freak me out because I feel like they taste too good.
I feel like when I imagine how they taste, they'll taste too good. I don't want to see a shraw in it. That's what worries me about all the whole thing. When I was young, I never drank for the taste.
It was drinking to get drunk. When you're a young person, when you get to a certain age, you drink because it tastes good. You have one drink. I love it when you come up on those drinks where you go, I could have a problem if I kept drinking this.
What is that for you? Dream sickle. It tastes just like dream sickle. I should never have that.
Oh my God. It's amazing. For me, it was apple pie moonshine. It's so good.
It's like apple pie. It's delicious. It was like baked apples. It was like a stewed apple baked apples aside sometimes.
It felt like it was warm and it was that. That's my problem. I went and ate for me. I like it.
I love sangria. I never had sangria. I've seen that before. The first time I had sangria was at Peatry Uno when I was in college in Boston.
It was so good. I was 18, 19. I was all up to drink sangria. I was afraid that I liked it so much that next time I went, I'd drink a whole pitcher myself.
I love that beer. That's a good beer. I just like things that taste good. When I do get older and I start tasting, I'm just going to really like some of the alcohol I drive.
I've been trying to cut that out sweet tea as well because that's one of the college. The way we made sweet tea is we brew it in a mason jar with tea bags and put it in microwave and we add sugar. Usually the sugar is bifolium. We measured sugar by time.
How long the sugar was on top of it? Oh, I've done that in about 11 seconds. Oh my God. 11 seconds.
No, I'm going to go out. Oh, no. We would go through a pitcher today. There's the two of us.
No. I also drink a lot of energy drinks in college. We collected a lot of different bottles and flavors. We had 125 different cans and bottles, all different fries, no duplicates that we found on road trips and things.
And then we got to the point where I would drink an drink and feel nothing. I stopped and I had an drink. You reached your limit. What was it?
Actually, I don't really drink sugar at all. I mean, unless it's in sweet tea. No, add it sugar. Yeah, unless it's in sweet tea or maybe in my coffee every once in a while.
That's what I do. The other day, I was with my friends and I had a cool aid for the first time in years. And I took a drink of the cool aid and gagged a little bit. I love it.
I looked at it. I looked at my friend Hannah. I looked at my friend Hannah and I was like, maybe if I poured this over ice, it'll like it'll like water it down. And she was like, you're so old now.
I didn't know. I just, there's a lot of sugar. And the lot of sugar. It's recently reminded me of how much I love country time lemonade.
I love country time lemonade. I sit on the porch. Sit on the porch. Not the porch.
It is hot in the silence. Oh, no. I'm not even used to make. My mother used to make, you know, when I said she'd make it and then we would drink it while as warm as opposed to letting it go.
No, we never did well. It's really good. She was like, I don't really know. I'm just, she was a farmer and she was like, I don't know.
I just wanted to say. No, she was just a farmer. We're never going to make that. That's a fresh tea.
Which taste a lot like root beer. We had fast- sweets growing down our house. And so it was like a treminated root beer. Yeah, yeah.
That sounds amazing. I like tea a lot to you. I like sweet tea. Well, I can do one sweet tea.
I can totally do one sweet tea. I have no problem with it. I can't do unsweet tea. But I don't like my tea to have too much like when I go to McDonald's or something.
I have to get like half as much to half as I'm eating. Almost everywhere. I really hate that. Wow.
So that's fair. I don't like it. But I also don't like it. I'm like Emily Kohler likes to make her teas.
Yeah. I don't care for those. Oh, I love her. You're also bitter to me.
Everything tastes better than me. I like, I don't know. She has the teas that she brings. They have a certain taste that I can appreciate.
But regular, like if you're to take Lipton and then just brew it and then just drink it and just taste like bitter water. And I can understand like anybody would choose to drink bitter water. Why would you flip it? I don't know if you would.
That's why you drink Lipton. We like Lipton. We can lose the action. That's why we have it at home.
If you gave me orange juice every day for the rest of my life, I'd be happy to have you. Well, you know what I love. Well, that's right for you, Dad. I'm sorry.
I don't like orange juice. I think you could actually do orange juice. You probably could. We probably could do orange juice every day.
I don't know if I could drink orange juice. It's not so much an allergy. It's a skin sensitivity. It is.
It's not so much milk. I love milk. I love milk and things. I don't want to drink it.
I don't want to be. I can drink it. I don't want to be. It has to be pink or something sweet if I'm drinking milk.
I can't pull it off. I'm real. And she just went to the doctor and she asked me how much milk I drink. And I told her, and I can't remember what it was at the time.
I've had to cut back since. She looked at me in surprise and said, you drink twice the amount as a pregnant woman. There was a time she would kill that for a gallon per day. Okay.
Honestly. She would kill alone. Not the rest of the family. People shouldn't be able to like chug milk.
No, they can't. If you drink a gallon of milk, you will run. I guess this is all too late. Yeah.
But if we had a full glass of milk. That's challenging college. If we had a full glass of milk. If we have like a full glass of milk, one of us can finish it in like a big like just bolt.
Like we can just chug it right there. I'll only buy all the milk now because I like that all the way. Oh, that's fair. I like all the milk now.
It's a little thinner and I'll use it on cereal, but it'll take me like it'll go bad before I finish it. No, I can't. I'm actually... I'm actually...
It'll take us months to go through. I always want cereal. No, we... I also when I would like have sleepovers with my friends and stuff and this is still even like this is still true.
My... for the night at my friend Bee's house, they specifically like uh... Vian... Vian and her mom will like go out and they will get a gallon of milk because they know I'm just leaving the water.
Like they know that I am staying the night and that I will eat cereal and drink milk like glasses of milk while I'm there. We are a cereal heavy family. We're gonna go a lot of... We have cereal for dinner.
Like that's a thing. And I'm sometimes fine with it. I don't know if it's all the cereal. I got just a Kellogg's when I like a lot.
It's got like a lot of brain flakes. It's also like bananas in it. Oh, that sounds lovely. It's got like a lot of different like uh...
No, I can't think. My sugar thing still holds up with cereal because I had like a bite of Captain Crunch maybe two weeks ago and I could do it. It's too much. It's so sweet.
Even as a kid I was the one who liked to... I love brainnuts. I love brainnuts. I still like brainnuts as well.
I make fun of Dad all the time for eating old people's cereal but as soon as he buys it I won't have. I was eating life cereal or uh... I'm not a huge Cheerios fam but I'll frost it in many weeks. I'll be eating for great nuts.
I do enjoy those special k-w-berries. Dear Dad, guys we would love to hear your thoughts on drinks, what would it be? Tees or soft drinks or alcohol? I'd like beverages.
Juices. I'm thinking I'm the only two times I'm trying to drink coffee religiously but uh... Two days of coffee. Two days of coffee.
Two days of coffee at work. Me two cups a day. Two days of coffee. I have the last two days.
Absolutely. That's how Aaron Taylor is. He just leaves a couple under the pack. He drinks a lot more coffee than I do by far.
Yeah. The pack in general just has a coffee. I think it's like a small country's worth of coffee at utilization. When I have the pack I will drink the shit out of the coffee.
Oh me too. Somebody's already making it. I will drink coffee at the pack all the time. No, there's always coffee made at the pack and if I'm there and coffee is made I will sit down and have some coffee.
The only reason I didn't do the same thing at HCP is because we only have decaf and I'll be damned. I don't think that's not necessary. I'll go through more coffee and water while taking a patch show than I will ever in my entire life. So we'll go through thoughts on drinks and we are going to move into a blare or so.
A blare or so. A blare or so. Be bottom up. Be bottom up.
Keep it up. And I just wanted to make note. Do you want to apologize for what you're talking about tonight? No.
I want to make a note. I have a six. It was seven pages but then I ended down a report of research and I brought the book that we will be covering today with me. Which is the most research that's ever been done.
By a blare. By a blare. Any blare. Well that's not true.
The research he did for my Ronisode was far more than six pages. The actual office was just about Ronis. I can't say that was because he never stopped talking about it. Too Defen Ron.
Too Defen Ron. He did quite a bit of research for the school office. That's true. I don't know what it was but it was I think it was more than six.
It was the ultimate challenge is take a hell of a lot of work. I'll give you that. And I've not seen an ultimate challenge out of you. What?
I didn't even know that I won it. I'm rescinding I'm rescinding Jared championship and I shall be considering another ultimate challenge because I love them so much. I love them. I did the ultimate challenge.
I do. Because you're his daughter. No. That's true.
All of my info is spread. I can't answer every question. I'm just like Ron we don't know. Let me tell you guys what brought forth this topic.
You don't know. We don't know. We don't know. We don't know.
We don't know. They don't know. They don't know. They know.
They don't know. They don't think about this stuff. She had read the books. She had completed it in the parking lot at Universal Studio Delano.
And so as soon as she finishes it she and I are like the moving walkways that are spread out through the entirety of city walk and we're just discussing this topic that we're about to go over. And I said let's do a podcastShock Evgen Simmons. That I could talk but I couldn't. What are you doing?
He does. He does this. Oh gosh. cream cream.
Gosh, um, man. But no, I just couldn't, I didn't know what to say. Yeah, I'll take it down a little bit. Yeah, thanks, Dan.
No, go ahead and talk to me now. Where are you at at the beginning? I'm playing, no, I'm just playing the score. Oh, okay.
You should probably, it's some time with listeners who know what we're talking about. So what is your favorite haunted house book ever? The Haunting? Whoa!
Of the Hill House, the Haunting of Hill House. Wow. That's what we're talking about today. Yeah, let's have you.
I'm so loud. You can really just be right next to me. You're looking at the peaks over there. It's the intensity of the music.
It's the volume. I don't think that's it. I'm turning off. I'm turning off.
Let's get into the great score by, uh, guy. By Guy Humphrey, sir. Yeah, okay. Can you please?
What? This is your podcast. I'm just on as a guest and doing all of the work. So you should do the fucking work.
So they're not bored by this podcast. Do your job. Shut your mouth. Okay, so the Haunting of Hill House is a book written by Shirley Jackson in the year 1957- 9-59.
It was made into a film shortly after that in 1963, sorry. Russ Namblin, Claire Bloom, Julie Harris, and another guy. Good job. They're forming characters throughout the whole story.
They remade the film again, Yawn Bond did in 1999. Trash. Piece of garbage shit film. Oh, okay.
Good cast. It was Owen Wilson, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Lily Taylor, and Leah Miesen as the forming characters. Good cast. We'll get to the differences between these casts later on in the podcast.
Or we won't, but we probably will. We should. We'll take it forever right now. It's my fucking podcast, all right.
I feel like they could do the whole thing themselves. This is exactly what I was thinking about. Were you digitally asleep over this? Hey, you like to be talking about something?
Yeah, I just shut the fuck up and let me. The remake, they had- Have you been putting the explicit tag on these? I might have to put it. You probably will.
They, uh, more lending. Right, right, for instance, it appears. The film was more a special effects extravaganza because they had the budget and the money. And so, of course, the story took a backseat to the spectacle of the film and made a crap garbage film.
I, in general, I would just say this is not to poo poo on your topic. Don't poo poo on money. I'm not a fake. I'm not a fake.
I'm not a poo poo poo on the haunting film house. As much as, in general, I would say the haunted house genre. Poohy does not usually appeal to me. I'm not a fan of jump scares and things like that, which is why I found the coloring so fantastic.
Well, this is- no, here I saw a man. I'm not a fan of that. I have not seen or read- Okay, let's get into what it's about. We cannot really recommend this novel.
I see that. I love the film. Let's get into it. It's a good impression.
This is a- I can say, um, it's- I'm also- I don't like things jumping out at me. I'm not a fan of, like, blood and gore and guts really. Right. They can be used well.
They can't. As long as it does not matter. They can. The quality of who doesn't know it.
But I can say- No jump scares really. That's what I love. I love the movie. I love the movie.
I love the fact that one, you don't actually ever see a ghost. No. Not a single time. The house itself will warp and then you'll hear banging and stuff like that.
But you're not positive what is scaring these people. They're not sure what's there. It could be ghosts. It could be the house itself.
It could be all in their mind. So it feels like a shining a little bit. A little bit. There's a great deal of ambiguity that goes into the story.
It's the same thing in the book. It's fascinating. So I'm going to- I have it in sections too. Because again, I am prepared.
I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.
I'm not sure. God, because she's a functional blInside. I'm the functional bl properties. I really agree.
The book actually has one of the finest literary introductions. I'll read it from the book. It compares with some of Dickens opening books. The first paragraph probably my second favorite part of book.
In this book. It's the first paragraph. No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality. Even if larks and catadids are supposed by some to dream.
hid a house not saying stood by itself against it's hills, holding darkness within. for 80 years and might stand for 80 more. Within, walls continued upright, bricks met neatly, floors were firm, and doors were sensibly shut, silence lay steadily against the wood and stone of hill house, and whatever walked there walked alone. That is the first paragraph.
I love it. I love it. It's stunning to me. Never since it's a stupid one.
That's fair. Nothing can handle it. Nothing can handle it. What's that fair?
No, I didn't say it can handle it. No live organism can continue for long to exist, sanely under conditions of absolute reality. Which, when you read the book, that's fair. I'm sure she's making a point with it.
I just doesn't look for me. That's fair. It's not pooping, Derek. Yeah, why are you pooping on the book?
That's not a skeptic. That's fair. I get that. I don't poo-poo vaccines.
That's true. This is what it's about. The Hill House is an 80 year old mansion in a location that is never specified, but it's in between many hills, and I'll get to that later. I'm assuming New England is doing the same.
That's like it sounds like it sounds like it. Really, I was reading it earlier, and I was trying to find a setting for it. Do you think Massachusetts or Vermont somewhere in the area? Something like, I'll leave it for months.
Well, that's true. Probably an entity, but it's likely an anvil. It's also an anvil. All right.
That's good. I would guess as well. No, no. Dr.
John Monohue. Dr. John Monohue, an anthropologist and psychologist with great interest in the Supernatural Ritz Hill House for a summer and invites several people based on their experiences with the paranormal to join him. Of these people, only two except, Eleanor Vamps and a woman named Theodora.
She does not have a last name. For a reason. In LA? Yes.
They travel to the house where they will live in isolation with Dr. Monohue, and the young heir of the house, Luke, who is wrong. What's going on? I'm not sure.
Is there anything to the guy who gets a sex occasion? No. The guy finds a woman who comes up on the phone and calls over. He's like, hey, no.
The heir of the house, Luke Sanderson, Luke Sanderson, he's like a troublemaker and his aunt is like, somebody has to say with Dr. Monohue, he was at this house, I'm going to send Luke because he needs somewhere to be for the next episode. That was a charming robe. That was a win.
Well, the reason it is about to go. Yes. That you're using the remix. Oh my god.
Oh my god. That's what I'm going to be. Remember. Like to me, these characters are defined by the 63 film and the novel.
And so when you say, so it's Luke Wilson, our own Wilson as Luke. I'm like, no. No. No, it's nothing like Luke.
The only one I will accept is Catherine Satordon's being remembered as Theo. She nailed it. She nailed the part. She was really good at playing Theo.
All right. So continued. The four overnight visitors begin to form friendships as Dr. Monohue explains the building's history, which encompasses suicide and other violent deaths.
I have a whole section on the history bill house because a good, I don't know, whole chapter is dedicated to telling you the history of the house. That has to be great history. It's a tragic history. All four of the inhabitants begin to experience strange events while in the house, including unseen noises and ghosts roaming in the halls at night, kind of strange writing on the walls and other unexplained events.
Eleanor tends to experience phenomena to which the others are oblivious, kind of. At the same time, Eleanor may be losing touch with reality and the narrative implies that at least some of what Eleanor witnesses may be products of her imagination. Again, ambiguity is a word. There's a lot more stuff from the website that I took this from that I'm not going to read.
And basically, to sum everything up, over time, Eleanor finds herself fighting a home at Hill House. She's welcome to there. She's welcome to there. And the house kind of welcomes her.