This week's episode of the Wildcat Podcast, brought to you by... It's brought to you by... Cherid, what's wrong? Why are you crying?
Because we... ...meows... ...crisp... Guys, it's too many...
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When I get better, if I say you a song? Yes! Yes! On the quadline, Christmas!
This is the season for laughing and sharing full shopping As white bearded fan men are scaring our chills To be good and do what their parents can make! Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and Christmas! Here in the studio, we're lighting candles We're mauling our pergels and listening to Handle while dreaming of wait We can make all our decades to pray! Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and Christmas!
Whatever your holiday, this winter's Solstice, the wildcat are hoping This season exalts us to love one another Regardless of which holiday We start at the Kwanzaa, and Christmas We're in the Kwanzaa, and Christmas We know Kwanzaa, and Christmas Look at those two sleeping so peacefully We're a couple of idiots Welcome to the Wild Card podcast I'm your host, Jared Eaton, and my co-pilots on this journey to wherever Are my good friends, Jeff Curtis Hello And the man who, without a doubt, would drive his entire family off the road If he ever stalked us deeply in a red Ferrari, Ron Blair That's true Yeah, absolutely, even at her old wrinkle-bage Oh, she's old or wrinkled She's old? She's old! She's in her 60s Yeah, no, she's at 60s Yeah, at least she's early 60s Yeah, because she was at her peak in 82, 83 Right around the air, so she would have been what, 20 And it was 30 some years ago, she might only be in a 50s room That's not a sound of a 60s room She's older than me While then she's in her late 50s then Yeah, she's married to Billy Joel Billy Joel, yeah He has little ogre What? Faith with half of that ass He has a little ogre I love him, I'm a huge Billy Joel fan as well I can't tell, I know that Ron's a big Billy Joel fan But he's not like We're not on him, we're not on him When you know, but when you look at him and Christy Brinkley You go, what are you saying?
How did you know that you're not on the ride? When you're at Christy Brinkley I say, oh Two very talented people who found each other Oh, that's what you have better heart than ideas That's a nice guy All these the other day with me We've been telling people We've been telling people And as we pulled up, there was this very attractive woman In her mid 30s And he smashed into the car Really? I absolutely didn't know him But kids were driving so we were sitting Cool And she was with a guy who looked worse than me Like he was less attractive than me And I went, what the fuck? How does this happen?
He let himself go, she just kept trying He gave up online Did you get on money? I didn't probably That's the only thing I did Or maybe you think of anyone else who's on Let themselves go? I can't imagine No, everybody I know in my realm and myself Were very fit Time to the game Speaking of being a bit of our game This podcast Oh yes Run, what's this podcast all about? I'll tell you what this podcast is about This podcast is about bringing together a widely varied and diverse group of individuals To discuss society's woes And presenting positive solutions to a grateful populace We enrich the community I wish that was true I love that idea I like the idea I felt like this is a diverse group of people That's inaccurate That part is definitely out Three white men Yeah, yeah Super diverse We're absolutely diverse It's like We have varying levels of beard That is true We do have varying level of beard and baldness Yeah Yeah It's all about We are diverse We're diverse We are varied So as YouTube both know Yes, it was Christmas Oh yes, it was Merry Christmas Merry holidays Hope you all enjoyed All the time with the family And so that's why I'm asking YouTube right now Here today On the day after It's Christmas What your favorite holiday memories were So answer the question From Christmas yesterday What are your favorite part?
This is my favorite part of Christmas It happens every year With my family We do things a little less traditionally And I'm talking about my media family Not the extent of the family But me and Mckenzie and Kayla and Michelle Every year To commemorate To commemorate To commemorate Special holiday tradition you guys It's Shwafemus We celebrate Shwafemus Which is a very holiday In which we dig a tunnel From our basement To the center of the town Which are the town we live in And then we sneak up there Righty-bill Righty-bill That's a long dig group you were talking about It's a couple years ago You must have been a couple years ago You must have been a couple years ago It's been a mile and a half But our goal is always Were you wearing a guy's box nest? No No we were wearing former president mast What's the name of this holiday guy? Swip Swip Swip Tonsa Swip Tonsa Swip Tonsa That's a bit of a very in holiday I thought it was always a bit of a loose Swip Tonsa Yeah, Moosh Vonsa Yeah, Moosh Vonsa And we dig a tunnel to the middle of town And wherever we pop up When we start digging upwards We take everything From that home or business or bank What it might be We carry all the goods back to our home And we find a fence You find a fence everywhere you go A fence To sell people our events People are a bit A criminal Not a criminal Just to understand directly Your holiday tradition that you did just yesterday Is robbery Now When Swip Tonsa we like to call it Silly Re-go-re-go-re-go Celebration That's how we celebrate It's difficult There's a set of very specific kitchen tenses They're called Wolverine Claws You have seen these This rate is what you really do And then we do a rotisserie With our shawl from the basement The rotisserie is actually one of the largest ones You can purchase It has to be inside of a shed That's good for the shawl That's where you have to do this And so we have the rotisserie spigot going Do you shred as it spins? I often will climb in the rotisserie Just to bathe it down To bathe it down As they're dripping down And now I spit it back on top of the shawl So they can be smitten So there's a little bit of you in every meal Oh there it is Yeah, that's right I am sure of it And then we have a tradition We have a kid cries first He'll punch in the face And to ensure someone's crying I will often put Dead animals in their gifts And then cry about that kid Go ahead Let it be you Face punch It's just that they'll know That the holidays are a wonderful time to be a family But don't forget what's coming Right, right Are you sure you're not so brave The best of us as opposed to Christmas Oh no no, the best of us comes earlier The best of us is much earlier It beats a strength where several weeks ago Yeah, I'm usually the first to cry on Christmas And most other days That's a schmufthansa tradition It runs in my people Chef, how was your Christmas?
As you know I went to LA I'm currently in LA You're in LA right now I was very excited that My family gave me a transporter machine For Christmas So that I could Transport myself back to the studio today So that we could give everybody this Wonderful holiday podcast And you took John Madeline with you In the transporter, right? Oh no, it's dangerous for that It's a one- They're back in California They're back in California I'm like, I can tell you I can tell you what the holidays Jared and I should go back to the Los Angeles Because we have things to offer The world He has something to steal there You mean Well, yeah, no more stuff to steal He has his hand on his dick That's what Jared said But you said you allow things to offer, right? That's my penis I offered it I've spread my seed to many in the land That's his validation That's my validation I've stayed in addition to Well, we all of you Have had holidays as wonderful as ours have been Yeah, it's great We are thankful for you this holiday season Thankful for your attendance As you're sitting around the fireplace with your family Celebrating the day The wall card card card card card card card card Or they can't fire We can only assume there's a fire We can only assume there's a fire We can only assume there's a fire The place of fire The place of fire I'm hanging out with celebrities Because you know I'm in LA right now They said we're at this moment They're very relevant You'll try to get back to LA I'm gonna hang out with my LA You're better friends You're right My actual rose And there Yeah, Nicki sends us there It's on a hair band People with crispy drink later She's waiting for you In her Ferrari I found out long ago I'm still stuck on it Great, I would love to hear from the deckheads What their holiday traditions were I would like them to rise back to all of them In addition to like what we've done Because we've told you all that we've done We'd love to hear your escapades Yeah, and ours are true You're should be as well I'm sure you've dumped out We were talking about this Move time so The day after Christmas Yeah Today's the 26th of us It's a whatever month Christmas is it? Yeah, there we go Yeah, that's how that works I don't have to bend to your Judeo-Christian Roman rules You do Yeah, I kind of do it on That's what we said our time It dates by You're somewhere between Jewish and Catholic That's true That's Judeo and Christian I am right in the middle I'm in the middle Oh, gosh Hey, I would do an episode Shout out We can transition into the topic We can't do one I know it's a Jordas sense Of course I want to talk about it Are you sure it's not a Jordas sense I'm pretty well It's not a normal What you expect from a Jordasode Welcome to Geronic Park That's what it is I'm gonna need my shine on Blaire Alright, question for you guys Okay Okay It's a time So I like how Ron saved the breakfast that I gave him Until we started talking So, question for you guys Have you ever been in a fight?
How did you find the degree of what I'm going to do that? Oh, okay There's different kinds of fight Sure, tell me about them Well, there's verbal fighting Which I definitely participated in I do that all day, every day There is um I'm getting more physical There is mild violence Which might be Ron's gonna get such a bunch of One punch or a slap or a flick or you know Flick Flick It's over You flick my go tree, I can't do this And then there's more severe violence Where actually pain is Yeah, where there's actual Pain is involved And you want to actually Beating I had in great school I had someone stuff a bug in my mouth When I was waiting for the bug I could send it to that violence And you know Did you respond? That's commoner I don't think I hit the kid I think I did respond And then the teacher got mad at me And somehow made it my fault That I got a bug stuck in my mouth I always do that That's what we teachers do Wait, stop Right, this kid stuck a bug in my mouth And then Because I responded to that I was that fault You were a child Obviously Obviously Yeah, I haven't been into many fights I had one with a friend in sixth grade And then I used to fight my brother all the time Because we had that kind of relationship And what degree of fighting was the fighting with your brother? Oh, it was violent It was massively violent I hit him with a shovel once Right in the arm Because he's big He's much bigger than I am So I would always threaten him with knives And then I threw a jar of nails at him And I didn't make you throw a jar of nails at him I didn't make you throw a jar of nails at him I made you throw a hole in the hole He's very hulkish He's very hulkish I stabbed it in the eye with trident He wanted all of it I stabbed him a few times Not in the deep Not in the deep I stabbed him with a fork And then with a butterfly knife Something about a butterfly knife I had a temper Well, he picked on me every day Like he was a bully every day I'm not having a shit My brother used to pick on me too And he'd get me a headlock Because I was like that My favorite moment with my brother Was in high school You know, he always got the best of these engagements And so he was joking around once Making fun of some commercial scene Where he said Don't call me whatever Call me bull And I thought that was the funny thing I started calling him bull Pissed him off So I kept calling him bull Until he got so mad at me one day That he put me in a headlock And was going to choke me And I kept laughing while he's choking me And I'm laughing at my laughing Until my mother made a stop Because he would have killed me But I was there No way I'm going to take it back I got him I pushed him over the edge And I won by God damn it I did I don't really consider this fight Either one of these instances There was one kid When I was maybe in sixth grade And he was pestering the shit out of me And I told him if you don't leave me alone I'm going to punch him And he didn't leave me alone I punched the shit out of him And then when I got home My mom asked me if I punched this kid And I was like no I don't know And she goes well the neighbors did And I said And she said he was pestering you And I was like okay yeah I sucked him I sucked him yes I punched him My mom was like I don't do it again I don't do it again That's the wrong answer I said I don't lie about it next time Yeah I don't lie about it next time But it was cool because she got the truth out of me By saying I understand I get it I don't want you to punch him And then I was in a dugout I'm impressed that the kid who got punched was a mom that he had a pestering you But yeah He was honest about it And that surprised me But I told him Leave me the fuck alone He was an irritational So I wrestled a lot when I was younger I was typically pretty small It would always start not in anger But sometimes once you're wrestling You'll be some anger involved Right I was like grappling was Headlocks, choke holds, arm bars, and get that Right pressure points So guys are bigger than me Like they pick me up and then all of a sudden they'd be being choked Yeah I'd be in the air but they'd be being choked Yeah I wrestled a little guys It's interesting It's a different kind of fight When you're wrestling with a little guy Yeah well and the thing is A lot of bigger guys are nicer So they're winning the fight But not working very hard Because they don't want to hurt anybody And then all of a sudden they're losing Because they weren't taking seriously enough Whereas they're gonna take it seriously They probably hurt the little guy So it's like Trigolf can't really win We do the bigger guys sometimes Yeah Um So I wrestled a couple of times I'm not a choir class I'm like Chris Gardner and I We went to the water fountain He came to the water fountain He like splashed in the water I pushed him He pushed me We're all on the ground The teacher is literally conducting a choir And we were behind to the ground I would like to see that film With the person conducting And the guys in the background Roll around You get to register the orchestra The music Same game we were wrestling once I'm like Jordan McKinley's house And I got an integral and he bit me Oh So I punched him in the face Yeah Because come on You just have to be able to give up I'd say that but I would have bitten Yeah I never fought for a very long time Senior year Graduation parties Get a little exciting Especially late at night And throwing a lot of adults around Like I hate him I don't understand that Well this one was more of like what people were doing there They were doing things they probably shouldn't have been doing If the cops should have been in a lot of trouble No no And so I was there And you guys know me well I don't know I wasn't doing anything I just know I'm lame like that Yeah you were just there Yeah I was just there I didn't want to be because there's a lot of people there And there were a lot of things I went around But I was there And outside of one of his mark raiser Was serving as a bouncer Yeah he was bigger than me But not a whole lot And he was trying to keep people Either inside But I would see them Or if they were doing nothing He'd make them leave And one guy He starts last his blood his nose So a couple of guys got down there and separated it And he'd mark up And it's what I was thinking back to the bathroom And I was getting his glasses He comes back at me And I'm kneeling on the ground And he's looming over me So I stand back up He says we got a problem And I'm like I'm able to do it So I think that's it I'll start showing away He punches me in the temple Oh no I didn't even hit the ground I kind of jerk myself back up And stares him in the eyes Like as angry as you can imagine me being And I did not strike him But I just stared at him And he walked away Like so there's a moment of like It takes so much strength and not to fight Yeah cool.
I don't know. I think it's even cooler than you scared that in the water. Not many other people saw that whereas if this dude had been on the ground everyone would know about it. So like in terms of like Corrid it would have been cool to have done that because I've won he was on the influence of something.
So why his paint always would have been high his coordination wouldn't have been right and too I was pretty good at wrestling back in the day and so I'm pretty confident I could have myself fine but yeah. I wanted to stab him in the neck. Junior senior year I thought I'd join a kid I mentioned earlier one of my closest friends I was the best name was Wayne. We were playing hacky sack during like our homeroom time and I kicked myself in the eye with hacky sack.
I could be hard and like I could open it but it was wanted to be closed. Yeah and I'm looking down and I'm like it hurt but it was not big deal. I knew it was gonna be fine. But Jordan says hey let me eat it out for you.
He throws the hacky sack at me and hits me the other round. What did he honestly didn't think he was gonna hit me. Oh it was a good shot. But in the time what I did was pick him up threw him on the teacher's desk and started punching him in the face.
It was the only time I've ever lost control of my anger. And the drama teacher came in in the long days. I was like Derek what are you doing? I'm like nothing.
I'm sorry. You take the cigar on him. I'm sorry. What are you doing?
I'm so sorry. I wasn't actually angry. It's just like he was in his right mind. He blocked almost every time I tried to cover himself up.
I didn't really land a lot of shots on him. But it was just like I literally saw red. But in general like another three of us are fired. We don't know around like picking fights.
No. In fifth grade there's one more story. One more fight. At recess this kid you know we had these tires and there's this one on Maxwell and I was playing with it and I don't know if I stepped away or whatever but he took it and then he wouldn't give it back to me and I was getting mad at him at recess and the other kid started joining around saying fight fight fight fight fight fight fight.
I wouldn't fight. I was mad as hell that I wasn't going to fight because then I get in trouble. So unfortunately for him it was like Valentine's when you're supposed to give Valentine's things to everybody. So when it was time to give put Valentine's ever person's little box or whatever I took his Valentine that I brought for him.
I didn't sign it. I ripped it into pieces put it in the envelope and put it in his box. And much to my surprise when he opened that Valentine he started crying. He was crying.
He was devastated and I just sat there quietly not saying it. And unfortunately they went back and looked for all his Valentine's to see who he had one. And he got one for me. So the teacher asked me why and I explained to her and I didn't really get to do very much trouble.
So I apologize to him. So I was making children's lives. So he tried to get back. So then he gave me another Valentine and then he ripped up and stopped and then I just laughed.
Real original butthole. So this question comes from a couple weeks ago a video game came out that I was very excited about. This video game was called Super Smash Brothers Ultimate. It's on the Nintendo Switch.
Now the history of this game franchise goes back to 1999. It was released in 1999 on the Nintendo 64. Which I had when I was really. I loved it.
It was the first system I owned that wasn't handled. I had a game boy before that but I hadn't had an Nintendo. I know this. My parents got me in the 64.
And it was in the later run of that console's lifespan really. But I had it with some friends in junior high and essentially what this game did is it took these Nintendo characters you've known for almost a decade now. Instead of who would win a fight. So what happens if Mario and Donkey Kong face off.
What happens if you had to lay off. What happens if you had Link from the Legend of Zelda or Samus from Metroid series. Pikachu. Pikachu.
Yeah, but people on there. I think there were like 12 characters in the original game. And my buddies not loved it. Because we knew these characters.
They mattered to us. They were the brand. They were Nintendo's brand. That's what it was.
All these representive characters. And there were other games in the other game. There was one on the Nintendo GameCube called Super Smash Brothers Melee. Which is still one of the games of all time.
And it's from 2003. Yeah. And it added double the number of characters in there. It added so many things for you do within the game.
And it was really fun. And then there was one that came out for Wii that I didn't like to play because I was in college. And then I came for the Nintendo DS a couple years ago. And so this one is the one that contains every character who's ever existed in this franchise.
Yeah, this one has like 72 characters. It has Sonic the Hedgehog. It has Pac-Man. It has Duck Hunt.
Like all these are characters you can play as. Wow. And each character has their own story mode you can go through. And so I play it recently with Billy and Jake and Drake.
And we've done a lot of cooperative fighting and other people. Either of you guys ever played a fighting style game. Mortal Kombat or Street Fighter. Mortal Kombat.
I enjoyed Mortal Kombat a whole lot. Arcade version. Arcade and control. But when Tekken 2 came out for the PlayStation, me and my wife played the Shadow.
We had a demo. But we played the Shadow that. And there was another. There was a Star Wars fighting game.
They came out in the late 90s for the PlayStation. Something of Kaysai. Something like that. Marnajade with the character.
Yeah. Okay. Jareton will look this up. Tell us about your experience with Tekken and Mortal Kombat in those games you played.
Would you count like Twisted Metal as a fighting game? Because there's combat. Maybe Hicular Kombat. I love those games.
I love the Fae Hicular Kombat subgenre. Twisted Metal is really the one that made that popular. There had been a few like Rogue Rash before that. Masters of Terris Kaysai.
Masters of Terris Kaysai. That was really good. You could be Chewbacca or Luke or Han Leia. A couple other French characters.
Marnajade. One of the things about these games they typically have is very complex controls. Like not a lot of buttons. But typically, it's a Street Fighter is probably the most famous fighting game franchise of all time.
Yeah. And in order to be good at this, you have to master a couple buttons. But really it's the joystick and the directional inputs you put in when you push the buttons and it causes these moves to happen that you damage your point with. And slowly bring their life down.
Then you have something like Mortal Kombat where it's more about the brutality of fighting and what's the most disgusting moves they can come up with. What else with Super Smash Bros. Really simplified controls. It was basically there's two buttons.
It's an attack button and a special button. How do you jump? I always use the control stick to jump. Depending on direction you push when you push in with those buttons.
Or when you hold it down and go with it, each one of those creates different attacks. So it's really simple to learn to get into. But if you want to master it, there's a lot of complexity to it as well. And again, just taking all these characters we know and love, hitting them against you and being like, who would win if Mario and Donkey Kong fought?
Is it a 3D environment? It's not. It's 2D. But it's still more movement than most fighting games have.
Because there's elevation. It's not just a level stage. And then as they get more complex, they were adding obstacles and things that would affect you. And that's one of the reasons why Super Smash was such a cool franchise is one fan service, but to Creativity and fighting John or something.
Yeah, so I was I never been great fighting But there's a whole genre of TV shows that have been built around the same concept of who would win a fight. Oh, yeah I was a kid there's one animal channel and we'll check out animal planet We're just gonna call animal face off where they would be like if a gorilla from a Jaguar who would right and so what they'll do is I'll bring experts for both talk about the strength of a gorilla talk about the claws and the teeth of a leopard or Jaguar Right, and then they'll make robots that simulate the strength and like they can adjust them to make sure it has this much strength I'm sure you what it could do if I got a hold of this and at the end They'll be like a simulation fight between them and I watch every other show so that's because love it then I told college they created a t-shirt called deathless warrior You would like that one because that one is historical now, it's it's again It's mostly for fun, but it's like who would win a fight between a samurai and a Viking And so what they'll do is they'll bring in experts who historical experts on both of these ancient figures and they'll show you what weaponry One would have had on them talk about their traditions their fighting styles their armor and they'll test the weapons out Oh, he's like ballistics a gel with Oregon fake organs inside and say this Viking long acts Well, how much damage would it do to someone right? Yeah, what is the point of a ton what kind of a range weaponry they have and they'll do simulations with computers generating like a thousand Battles and say who won the majority of the time a lot of times it was like 58% to 42% right? It was close but the simulation games always showing you bring an actor's actually do these five things So three seasons of it is really fun.
It's when I said awesome I just think it's a Oh, that's the yeah, well they're armored. They also they're their movements are more graceful the Vikings are just roots for That's what I find I think they fight dirty It also the Viking weapons are made out of a bog iron which is not as strong as the the steel that I like that a lot I love some of those like a patchy versus gladiator was a good one. I think Native Americans want every fight They were in I mean they were bad. I mean all these groups of asses That's the thing is but it's just their styles were so unique hard to count it So it's really sure if you could find it somewhere, I think you would enjoy it's pretty good even it's like more modern ones like Green vireversus pessus they would do a lot of like over the course of time.
Yeah, I think Taliban versus IRA was one Oh, I was a because of explosives. So they're really really unique episodes Yeah, there's a YouTube series not called death battle that does the kind of thing that specially does taking famous characters or movies and things Yeah, I'm hitting them against each other saying who would win a fight between so and so and so let's research the comics Let's research the movies and say well look what they did They blew this thing up how much force would it take to blow that out? It would take approximately 36 kilotons Yeah, so they can do that much damage and this thing fella number what ways about this much they can endure this much But canonically what can they handle? Yeah, they can tell who's faster who stronger is got weapons and I've always really enjoyed those kind of scenarios my dream has always Been to see Rambo and don't you go out it?
Honestly, I thought this for years. I think I mentioned it well Ron you are in for a Tristan oh my god The Merry Christmas episode of the water podcast is called the wild cards pick a fight. Oh, yeah, because I'm asking you to gentlemen Who would win a fight between and I have like 20 scenarios? All right, here's kind of what I don't just want you to be like This person wins and let's move on right.
I want it to be when I give you this scenario I want us to be some I want some creativity here. Well, I don't know if we can offer right I want to first think I'll do all these two encounter each other. Okay, so where is this fight occurring? Right what do they have with them?
What can they do? How do we think this fight plays out? All right, okay, all right, first one up is pretty easy This one's I've tried to hear some for Jeff. I also know that a lot of these characters you might not be questionable I put some in there for you.
I don't know wait. Let me give you a little fanfare little intro are you ready? Okay round one start Jason Voorhees versus Michael Myers Jason person Jason versus Mike Jason versus no I was friends versus Freddie which is not a fair fight because Freddie's like a nightmare Right, he's a dream thing. He's a Michael are both big strong with sharp weapons Now if you go canonically later into their works, there's some supernatural things involved in both of them sure Yeah, we need to talk about which iteration of Jason Michael is pretty much Constant that you tell me what you think would be the best fight.
Oh man, you know It's gonna be Jason beating Michael if we go with the post mortem Jason that we saw in the last six or seven movies If it were like the remake Jason or Friday 13 part 4 Jason I I still that Michaels got it over him simply because He's the one who sneaks up on everybody like they're both stalkers. They both have that thing going on He's typically Michael's not an idiot. He's not more on Jason's more on his machine He's a killing machine that's all he does Michael could outwit Jason any day of the week now if you put him in a ring together Yeah, Jason's probably stronger and he's not Can you take a beating better than Michael? Can you just Michael you're the last time we movie?
Oh, yeah He's shot in the hand The very first time he got shot with three shots and fell out of the window. Yeah, and it's got a walk away Yeah, I got a don't hang on the eye. I think Michael's gonna win even in a close close close home I don't know Jason as well, but I don't think you're the one of them or good. I cuz they're both immortal Basically 24 seven just continues knock out snap kill that might think where they would be basically a drop One might win this one might win the next time so they would both end up killing each other over and over and over right Let's say the only way to kill the person is to cut their head off.
You know in Freddy vs. Jason He cut Freddy's head off the head went well Freddy's never over. That's true Jason vs. Michael.
They're in a ring They both have machete who's cutting their guys head off first They're both stabbers are they they're but well Jason's he captivated a lot of folks so then Jason wins He's that yeah, Jason's got a straight Yeah, I'm sure he has at some point, but it's not Staring the not even the slice throat so much he does but Yeah The worst movie ever And your scenario where they're decapitating and that's the only way to win yeah with those rules I'm gonna go with Jason I'm pretty sad. I do too. I hate it because I'd rather Michael win Yeah round two round two fight Rambo versus John McLean How they fighting what's the scenario? I knew this one just for Ron.
They're probably not These two men I do I do they're my favorite action characters ever Probably has some PTSD or something while he's here. Yeah, well there see John again for season as a threat That's what I'm thinking. He's a crazy old veteran who blew up a town once. Yeah, he was in jail.
What do we do? He brought me it means the POWs back with when he was only supposed to take pictures. He's a world-breaker He breaks the laws he well Rambo In first blood he said all those booby traps out of the forest right? Oh, yeah I think John McLean can endure walking in the glass and I'm back and I'm back and he's not and he's very smart But he's not booby trapping.
I think as much as I want to say John McLean would win I think Rambo would because of his combat training and his booby trap ability would win I think John McLean's got this one I'll tell you why I think unless Rambo who can't fit his bulky ass into the air ventilation system So we've been trapped them. That's where John McLean's gonna go. He's gonna be in the air vents cursing Yeah, he's gonna be like oh after a guy named Rambo Yeah, but some of the best but you know the thing is Rambo is not like the German terrorist He's not some some crazy person who's just trying to go out jumper and none of his movies is he out just trying to kill everybody He can find yeah, he only kills people when he's forced into the situation Yeah, but he's forced into it because that's a bad guy Exactly Rambo is upset and and afraid and doing what he thinks he has to do to himself in a public place John McLean sees that nose. This is a terrorist.
Yeah, I have to stop him. He's in town. He's in town One of his caught one of John McLean's caught buddies kind of harasses him a little bit rambo lashes out John's like no I can't buy by this and then they're stuck in the knock at tell me building together I first was trying to figure out now He should explode to there. Oh is it anybody he can find he's a boom boom willy no And John McLean's here all this and John McLean's up in the fence like I'm gonna wait for him to run out of ammo He's like counting the bullets and stuff.
I think John's smarter. I don't think John's counting the bullets But here's what I think I think that John McLean and Rambo in the end up with their hands on each other They're both choking each other and then they both look into each other's eyes and realize they make it We're both good guys and they go out and have a beer German towards they see if Rambo gets his hands on John McLean He's ripped him apart. Did you see the most recent movie? He's pulled a guy sort of no was it Rambo for where he's like helping out Oh, yeah, yeah, that's not the other thing that was not a good movie.
I love every second When I was in college he knows he was a new working in bed. Yeah, I'm Great fun. They're a huge a huge chuckle. So Jeff says Rambo Ron says I'm going John McLean He's these sticks and moves sticks and moves.
Okay. Let's pick it up here a little bit and let's go Terminator round three which turn it round three versus robo cop Yeah, I'm gonna the rubber Patrick Terminator especially The Cycling compact I don't think so Terminator you sit there and you get close enough to sever one of the hydraulic hydraulic tubes Well, he's got the machine guns. That's it. He's like a big moving turret, isn't he?
I don't know. That's all he really is. He's got two big guns and he's like He's armor, but he's all right. He's the Terminator could could out maneuver him is what I'm thinking He's bulky even I've not seen the new RoboCop I don't know if he's more streamlined or what but Terminator that's a killing machine.
Yeah, does it does it the right way? He'd getting close to where the turret couldn't reach him and he'd you know He'll the leg off or something like that. I gotta go Terminator easily. I'm gonna say easily for me It's especially the Robert Patrick.
Oh, yeah, he would he would turn into RoboCop I'd be like are you confused yet? You are confused look at me I'm like you and then the other RoboCop would start weeping and while he's weeping Robert Patrick would shove a Titanium thing in his arm would become a Titan. Yeah, and then it's over RoboCop. Done.
No, easily. Around four. Chuck Morris versus Jackie Chan. Well, mmm Jackie Chan.
Yeah, I'm gonna go Chan. Really? Yeah Well because Chuck Norris what he kicked what's his name to ask the guy that hung himself on masturbating the came from the famous family Carrody. Yeah, yeah, David Carrody because David Carrody was running his mouth and Chuck Morris was like Well, yeah, he beat Bruce Lee.
Well, I don't know But Jackie Chan is also a kung fu person and he does all his own own stunts in his movies and I think in his age He's getting around better than Chuck Norris Long in the front Yeah Rage is a hoot. That's a fun old movie. I think I've seen breaker breaker and I've Faster yeah, but I think I think I think I can take more I Think you're looking around like where's Jackie Chan? Oh, there goes my I think you're thinking of Jackie Chan movies.
I'm probably Actually better actor to I Character Pretty good stuff. Yeah, he's not me. He's not like jetley in here I was said gently heartbeat because I gently is faster has better technique to make you change my thing Jackie Chan's get more about drunken Brawler son. Yeah, it's more And he would he would disarm you with the That's the thing that's the thing Chuck Norris would be like I'm fine while he's saying that Jackie Chan is like taking a mop handle and He's taking his own spurns now See now he's giving me a scenario.
Yeah, I can't I can't I can't that's what's happening. I like to picture in the old west but just because Chuck Norris lives there round five A live fight a werewolf versus Jared Frankenstein's monster No werewolf Well under contention that the monster cannot be turned cannot be turned into a door It's just a physical fight. I think well, right? It's nice.
See Frank is trying to be strong. Yeah, but I think the werewolf once he smells you It's your ass. You always say those words cuz I'll wear wolf snails you that's your ass It's all I think I think the werewolf would I mean it'd be hard to kill a friend since he's sorry Yeah, but I think the werewolf would shred him I think I think this is This is my mind. I don't think I'm underestimating his strength I think you're underestimating that a werewolf comes in and he starts slashing a frankin stupid while that guy's trying to process Whatever's happening the werewolves done.
I'm up. You're people Frank's monster skilled a little girl Great job When they were throwing daisies into the pond and then it's Frankenstein the book Okay, James Wells 1933 Frankenstein he throws a little girl in the pond I don't know what I was doing and that's it and I'm thinking of my cement he kills I he kills of dr. Frankenstein's wife. That was no big trick This was like the snap or nag hell back then they have calcium deficiencies shit Frankenstein's nothing thing.
I like the story, but I think a werewolf Scott where we'll smell good. That's your ass Stupid can I process this fight? That's our next musical frankin stupid Frankin stupid rocks. That's what we're gonna call it round six round six fight Did you on this one?
Okay? I don't even know what this fight means I wrote it anyway, but I saw revolutionary you have to decide what the fight looks like. Okay Babylon 5. Okay versus battle Stark a lot.
No fucking exactly what I think about I think you have a battle star galactic versus Babylon 5. Well, the problem is I thought I was the problem is I'm with the fighters. Okay. Well first you have to decide whether it's the battle star galactic How humans fighting the Babylon 5 or is it the silence or have the humans in the silence teamed up together to fight the Babylon 5?
Is it a nice thing? I think I find that one fight on Babylon 5 was good guys Babylon 5 versus battle star galactic So they're both good guys are the silence good guys are bad guys. I like the bad guys Um take the world's okay, and is this a naval battle not naval on the sea? You know I mean We have a land version to be like you have a star Well, if we're going with the if we're going with the sci-fi tech the battle tech yeah Babylon 5 would win Be a long five would be beat starbuck.
I think starbuck could Well, but they but it's not it but it's not like you don't have lasers. They don't have a fucking battle circle. Yeah, okay Are you right? I'll make a joke There's a Starbucks on Babylon 5 but Starbucks is the captain of the starbucks and Babylon 5 entire camera So in Babylon 5 they have these these advanced weapons that with lasers and whatever that can like That is high tech that you can't even imagine and battle and battle start like together shooting bullets and send bombs and missiles and atomic weapons Yeah, those are pretty tough, but I think If we're going by by weapons alone battle on five is more advanced weaponry than battle circle act Yeah, so they would win is oh I want that's our collective so what about more people than it not ship ship?
Well, if they're all they're both humans So battle circle act again balance five if we're talking that one five is run by humans Yeah, that's our lack to get filled with humans. So it's just human to humans So the ones on battle circle act again would probably win because they are they are military and It's set up as a military vessel where as Babylon 5 is supposed to be a diplomatic outpost it has military there, but it's Outpost take them fuckers away How can you not know the battle circle act again? The Star-galactica and they are they are machines some of who have been designed to look like humans now They feel like more yeah, and but and you can kill them But then they're they're programming downloads into a new body so you can't actually they never die Huh, they just enter a new boss. So it's like lose the battle But yeah, even if they lose a battle they learn from what they did and then they come back with that knowledge to attack you Yeah, I don't you and they keep going and it keeps going over and over it's like this endless supply of silons who will just replenish themselves and come after you And so I'm in and I started like again.
They are eventually defeated, but it took four seasons I could have done three times, but easy easy. I think could have not maneuver them There are a lot of them very deadly races in Babylon 5 to you So I think I still stand by my Babylon 5 would probably beat Bell circle act again Even if the silence and the humans were team so So silence versus Terminator as a part of this. Oh Well terminator doesn't have a chance. Okay, really?
Yeah, they take on the German well is it's a very army of terminators. Yeah, okay, so it's like an army versus the one guy Yeah, okay, so you think it wins. No Terminator loses even with an army No, the silence would be an army the terminator So it'd be an army of you have it's army of Robert Patrick terminators like an army of Robert Patrick terminators versus the silence I still think that the The silence would win you have a lot of respect for those silence. Yeah, yeah They're just sending more and more robots back from the future, but eventually you run out of metal which would screw the silence, though?
Yeah, I mean, okay. Yeah, I don't know anything about this one. Yeah, I can't I can't pitch it round seven round seven fight Jeff versus Ron That'd be that'd be an old man battle nobody ever wants to see everyone's it two people who really don't want to hit No one actually know who the winner is because I can't tell you apart How does this fight go? Ron gets mad And starts facing me and I run away until I can't If you run to where you can't run you think he's still running.
No, that's good. I'm like Gimli. I couldn't go for short distance It's something he'd walk over to me slowly hyperventilate a lot of cigarette while I'm walking over to you And I'm like well, I bet over hyperventilate right that it would be the worst fight anybody ever seen two guys who just really don't want to hurt each other I'm running and breathing my time. I'm gone.
Don't up to we both forget why we're so bad You got yeah Excellent. I can't beat my friends with sticks. Excellent. All right round eight round eight back and versus predator shit Okay, that man versus predator versus predator.
Well, I think well that one made a statement I was hoping at least one of them. I think predator because he can make himself invisible and he can target you can target Auto targeting and I don't know if it's the blowout has a defense for that. I mean Once if he discovered but think about Batman the history of that man is he has a defense for everything. That's true He would hear that like he would hear it from far away.
It had some sort of visor thing. Yeah I see you right there. Yeah, well, if he had the visor thing where he could see predator It probably Batman, but um and it's still be a hell of a fire because the thing is the predator is like Andre the giant Like you can run circles around him, but once he gets you once it's locked in But predator lost to our sports and anger Draw okay, it was a draw if I'm better. That's a loss though.
No, that's yeah, that's a big one. It's a shame. It's a shame That's he was shame and then what's better to and then Danny clever be clever better somehow Danny clever be Putting his gun down. Let that be a lesson every one.
Well, obviously then Batman when we know this good predators stupid Yeah, I'll tell the warrior, but but it would be a hell of a fight Yeah, I'd like to see the new predator really so I can also rule with that man If he has time to prepare he beats everyone. Yeah, he's savvy. He's a smart guy Can I give you an alternate take on this fight? I almost won't let them out of the system so with time to prepare?
So if I can still find predator, okay, predator is going to this person's home. Oh this person is time repair Mccollack on home alone Under prepare knowing exactly what the predator is what the predator can do with the predators He's seen attack other houses. He knows every trick the predator has so he sets up his home in preparation and the predator comes I thought of case a bubble gum and some Jerry curl and He heated up the door now Predator stand up Don't have a gun predator's not gonna shoot at him anyway, so that's That makes Kevin a better would know better would know my coke and is a threat until it's too late. Okay.
Well, I Water gun strapped to his back and predators like well. Oh, yeah, unless better sees what I call him those two thieves Although we also realize that with all the cooking that he didn't kill the thieves. No, that's true He needs to tell me mains them He sure maimed them I think an old homeless man would probably come by and distract predator long enough or Kevin to to swoop in yeah With his pain again and his BB gun and like an explosive warhead strapped to predator like he just aims at the right spot He's like and he says something cute like hey predator look boom boom and then it just explodes So that make it be pretty good easily Beatman came to the house nobody goes to the McAllister house. All right.
There's reason for that round whatever's next round night No, no, no fight captain Kirk in a fist fight versus Indiana Jones Indy What is what James T. Kirk who is Indiana Jones woman fist like? He everybody who won't be entire Tunisian Fucks These two guys because they can take a hell of a beer Captain Kirk what's he gonna throw a punch in like handsome like in the 1960s like so any Jones does yeah But Indiana Jones is cooler. I don't use the environment to win fights.
You know what Indiana Jones has my votes for charisma only Oh Captain Kirk charisma Lasers As a gun with Indiana Jones with that He's like he's gonna be like hey this thing is set to stun cuz he whips it out his hand and takes him He's like Are we talking about Shatner Kirk or the Christmas would be a lot more similar Christmas this would hurt in a joke more than Kevin Kirk What I think Shatner could take more of a beating well Shatner can take a beating I don't think you'd want of them to take more of a beating than Indiana Jones because he fought Pat Roach and all those three movies in all three Movies there was at least one enormous guy that was like the focus of the fight And just losing that fight until he walked in but yeah smarted him That's the thing always out like through the through the guys cloak into the rock crusher thing and he's smart That's why Andy's got Kurt Kurt's a pretty smart guy, but he's he's bourgeois Captain I'm running this nightclub here on the sergeant enterprise like he's a he's really You know it's like Julie on my book. I think Kirk is more over competent than I think he's too Indiana Jones would be yeah, I don't think Indiana Jones is ever confident about anything which gives me Indiana Jones is the greatest. Don't you be smurched Indiana Jones? Smurched don't do it smurched and he would be like that's a nice shirt.
Yeah, I punches him like right there He's wearing a red shirt Mmm Where's a red shirt? I think Indiana Jones would be like he would be like buns money and that he would dress as a green woman and seduce Captain Kirk and then when he's got him off his guard I think you're giving an Jones too much intelligence credit. He's a smart guy. He's an archaeologist I've seen him teach two or three classes.
Yeah, I mean it was in a bar brawl in all of them Yeah For sheer charisma the charisma points wipes out anything Kirk ever did all right about that I just I'm in his clothes her. I don't see William Shatner at Kirk being able to have a long fist fight This is any end Jones is used to one type of fight yeah, okay Captain Kirk has gone to planet after planet or plant Everything everywhere he has Situation except that he always has to be saved by spot right right and he doesn't need nobody to save him Let's just make well maybe but then there's always a little Asian kid boy like like a short round Yeah, where is that he has support from his community? That's what You know what's what is Kirk gonna throw a snake on him? That's my question and even if he got a snake down short round Is gonna take this thing away and be like going in a fist fight.
I said he lasers and guns and whips I what they would have we got I don't care Well that lasers Kirk can just disintegrate him and then never get into a fight and Jones survived a nuclear blast by crawling a little Reverb asked give me a sense of nuclear blast round next round ten fight there is a terrorist attack Yes, oh one of these two men is going to stop it. Okay. Oh no Jack Bauer versus Ethan Hunt What's even from mission impossible? Oh?
Jack Bauer is going to because Jack Bauer takes a licking and keeps on ticking and he always gets there Have you seen I've never seen one of his own crews in the movies I have a feeling it's almost done it's like bouncing off a plane that all the man is doing all this stuff He breaks bone because he will do this for himself so Tom Cruise is in real life. He's the one He is insane. Yeah, but I was looking at the Tom Graham down himself the tallest building on the planet I love it I really like the fights in the bathroom. Yeah, that's great.
Do you like movies about playing it or I like the in-fight where he just keeps fighting as This plane they go down. It's like I have no input on this. I don't I've only seen the first mission impossible It's the Tom Cruise Ethan and fighting who keep us out of the one from Jack Bauer from you for selling them versus Tom Cruise Yeah, they're characters there in those like saving the world on a daily basis right from plots to destroy it Yeah, but here's the thing Jack you do it in 24 hours where Ethan will take days or weeks to do to win So I think Jack Bauer if you want to do fast How many plots has Jack Bauer stopped how many seasons were there? There's like seven or eight seasons I should and they all take place within 24 hours each season is a 21 I could they want the season to be like well, this is Jack Bauer's week off or and it's probably a week off It's something happens.
Well, I think for nothing to happen. I was like making a tuna salad sandwich Yeah, no, it's gonna tune in for 24 episodes I think they should I would watch keep for something like eat in a sandwich So you're making a serious which comes in or something because it's different serious. I'm like now. So you're doing yeah Nothing much going on today.
How's things? It's like Seinfeld meets 24 Me so we're gonna watch Jerry and Jordan and He's a receiver and Trevor tried to stop a terrorist attack. Well, there's no terrorist attack. I was like this is good to know He's like he is the thing with bumblebee tuna.
He lives in the apartment next door. He's done the whole He's the new Kramer. I think I think I think Jerry. I think Jerry which we like he doesn't even get Jack Jack Jack.
Hello, Bauer Hello, Bauer round 11 round 11 fight Darth Vader versus Voldemort. Oh, Voldemort Oh, no, no, as the force. Yep, the Voldemort a came back from the dead No There's a stress back came back from the dead or cruises so you it's impossible to kill the guy without you though and The magic stronger than the force I think Darth Vader would be like I'm going to choke you into like five more Crocs and then he would don't he like choke him for stroke and then go looking for the work ruses or have the red helmet at Imperial guards do it for him He does yeah, Darth Vader and the other and the giant's on his side and giant spiders on his side and werewolves on his side Yeah, but it's Darth Vader. He'd be like how adorable they're coming at me with rooms Like he would be like boom boom boom and just knocking out of the sky knock him off the broom So you impale several of them there would be banthers running around and add that shooting no Darth Vader's got Yeah, but that's because Luke Skywalker was like your dad.
No, what's Voldemort gonna say? What's he gonna say? I'm gonna say I'm vodka duffer Also, you have to understand he could do nonverbal spells he doesn't Do them that's true, but that's true. They'll be like I feel funny and then he would he would do some force thing and like no I said I was gonna walk with trick Darth Vader into doing something that where he could read his mind Yeah, yeah, they come up with my kind of you know, yeah I Can sense probably more than the This is the thing I picture with Voldemort more than anything.
This is what's in my mind I picture Voldemort like the turban off of that one teacher from Zurzur stone We're all they like take the turban off and they're like well, it's Voldemort the whole time and Voldemort's like and I would've made it if not for you Madling children so that's gonna be it. Yeah, it's gonna be do Scoot me versus Voldemort. Take a scoot me to I think Voldemort was like he's a he's a little bit of a pussy The only thing that makes him great is he's a little powerful But he's willing to do what other people are not willing to do and that's what makes him powerful That's actually actually Probably Luna love good because nobody expects it all wow so we were split on this one Drake you wanna ruin Drake's here or Voldemort great He's Wearing a business for the Christmas on this decision I'm standing. Okay, okay.
Let's have a look closer. Yeah, you gotta really Drake, hey, it's me. I'm not dead wait. What?
Yeah, where's my goddamn axe? Gosh The whole thing with Vader being able to sense what's coming is what really why I immediately said Voldemort like when you guys said that But then they don't know what to do about it I'm Vader with the force throw a giant on a board But baby doesn't have any magic he has the force The force is the force is the essence that Throw the universe at Voldemort and Voldemort like I can't do anything they are can seem and block order the Phoenix Voldemort's fight against Dumbledore at the end. It's pretty intense. We can well I think our theaters are better wizard than Voldemort or are they not Can move and block objects things can he block magic?
He doesn't have a wand because he sees it coming. He's like as a disruption in the fall That's it I think overall I'm going to have to go with Dumbledore I think I'm gonna have to go with Voldemort is Vader's sensing is what really we have a winner. I'm going to earth I'm voting on the two versus one. I'm always this no I can't Next fight round 12 round 12 three versus 25 year olds 25 year old 25 year old first of all the five year old children Because if I said three five year olds Drake's got it for the most I was trying to think of what would be the number there would be too Any 20 Listen I think me because I get it like 25 year olds can overwhelm you like I've never heard a sea of children I think I would pick I would pick the five year olds over Darth Vader were it The younglings didn't do very well.
No, they were caught unaware. Yeah, if the younglings had been aware They would have died slower It's about there's 20 of them Here's the thing I think Jeff will back me up on this every five year old they automatically have a sensor that leads directly to your cross So every blowth row and also Like a whole year yeah, I don't have 20 of them now No, I have to five year old and they stomp on your nuts every chance they get they might as well be like small box blankets Yeah, they're always sick. That's true. You're with the disease and everything and they're resilient Drake you were voting off the arms Sorry, you can return to your couch.
Sorry. Yeah, maybe you can come back next week fight. I'm next week. I bring us back our battle That's man.
Yeah, all right Around 13 is gonna go back to something wrong mentioned early round 13 fight Andre the giant versus a bear A young grizzly bear yes He would not hear a quality I'm thinking if there were a black bear See I but Andre the giant even though he's He doesn't have massive claws that are going to you know what though I think you could survive that I think you could walk out swing at him Can he use his hands to like deflect in a way? No, that would require him to get his arms up Wrestler The bear that a parent to the ground the bite is throat and then eat him I don't think it could knock on the guy over though You don't think a bear could knock over Andre the job. I think it look like they were dancing I think it looked like I've never seen an angry bear. I've seen Andre the giant for a life He could throw a bear not think I'm a throw I think he can like judo throw it to the side he body slam big John stud in WrestleMania Actually seen a real bear.
I've seen a really about a time of grizzly bear walked up to the 10 times right right? I've seen him in camera. I agree with the baller though. I agree grizzly bear puller I think I think they are so much bigger than a black bear.
It's why I thought brown bear black bear Well, I wasn't teeth but physically he would be bigger not only that but grizzly bears are like the Indiana Jones of the wild They're a savvy the rear care is mad at Chris Lee's a very charismatic Wow. They have a hump on their back in that mean Gonna punch it until it doesn't find me that overhand me and we always know he's gonna throw the bear against the tree Grizzly has a thick skull. He's not gonna beat that grizzly bears head until it cracks open I think they would fight one another impression and then Andre would cuddle with the bear in their den And just sort of pan and yeah, they come really good man. Yeah, cuz the bears like I respect you on if he bites the bear and throws It's just gonna make it mad.
It's gonna come back angry. That's true. And then it's gonna rip it I think piece I think piece prevails in that fight. Oh, Andre is armed.
He's not going I'd say grizzly bear polar bear winds black bear brown bride. I would take Andre I'm gonna give it to Andre with this one. I think he would do the shake rattling roll on that bear and just boom And what's right now? They're both down the shake rattling roll.
It's a move with the honky-tonk man used to use Okay, you watch my too much rest like back in the day, but I remember this when it's a swinging neckbreaker is what it is beautiful When it's a yes, you watch wrestling in your kid. Oh, I was nuts about you My brother and I used to watch wrestling with your kid and I didn't understand that they had costume So we would just strip down to our underwear and pretend that we were wrestling. Did any brother do that? No, I hate my brother.
He hated me our fights were real. It wasn't where just jackass around I really wanted that jar of nails to hit him. I like I don't I've never liked him, but my cousin and I yes Yes, we would wrestle all the time. You strip down the underwear.
Probably not my underwear, but yeah No, we got our clothes on but it was like you know These were the days in the 80s where you have the the you didn't have to be you could be grungy You could be a little birdie and fight like channel three wrestling in the mornings was that was out in Memphis And you could be a you could be like the moon dogs You know that'd be your thing if you didn't want to strip down here And where you'd be like the moon dogs and go in with a big bone and have a blonde afro and yeah very bloody round 14 Round 14 right someone you care about has died. I'm so sorry here this, but we don't know who did it Are you spreading news or we don't have three choices for who's solving the case? Okay, keep in mind whoever you pick from this group so this is a fight no no These companies competition. Okay, one of these are people is when you following you around for the next Let's say couple days that takes a different topic case.
Okay Sherlock Holmes. Yeah versus Monk. Okay versus Sean Spencer from psych Who do you want solving the case? I think Sean Spencer's got it just a little bit over Sherlock I think his powers of observation are just a tiny bit more heightened Yeah, yeah, that's what Sean Spencer's got that He's like he throws people off their game by insulting them or his witty banter that you can't keep up with I gotta go Sean Spencer on this well of three of them I think monks the better detective.
Yeah, oh, yeah I don't think I want to speak to her. Yeah, I don't like that He would leave my house. There's no he would not be clean enough for my So that would eliminate monkey, but though I think he's the better detective Sherlock Holmes is a drug addict Yeah, but not shit on truck That's true. He doesn't like you.
He's smarter than you. He's a guy that's very already complex Yeah, he's quite pompous about it. Let me tell you so that leaves me with Sean who I know is full of shit But I know he'll also come up with the right answer and you'll come over and you'll be fun to hang out with that He'll be fun to hang out with that. We'll get some more dogs with us Right, right, right, right, right right out of the moor.
Yeah. Yeah. No, here's the thing as we've been doing the Sherlock Holmes show I've become more and more You know married to the belief that Sherlock is a he's a asshole. He's a dick He becomes one.
Yeah, like in this first one. He only moderately is he But he's still a cop there. Oh, I literally say that to be one of the characters that he kind of makes fun of true Yeah, he's an asshole. Yeah, sure.
Yeah sure. Okay, so we're all taking Johnson's On charisma with the situation that both Sherlock and my good detective. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah Yeah, we can closely.
Yeah, okay, I own 14 fight Jason born James Bond I think Jason borns got in hand-to-hand combat. I would agree with you But I mean you look at how effective hand-to-hand combat they are in terms of the movies of James Bond like the judo chops seem to work really well Somehow so like I feel like it'd be Jason No sense but it works. You know though Jason born Jason right would be you get a pin out and like yeah, he'd be in close We're talking about Daniel Craig. Oh, yeah, I was thinking of the Sean Connery old screen other person I don't think I can't have a chance.
I think I think you know Craig if they were all the James Bond's were in the room Yeah with Jason born. I think Daniel Craig would kill the two bonds first He's a monster. Yeah, he's cold and then he would say Jason board for last You know the other guys were gonna work with him right? I still gotta go Jason born on hand-to-hand combat strictly and sure anything with weaponry gadgetry Doesn't get gadgetry.
Oh, no, there's no queue. He has like a radio. Huh get a gadget But it's not it's not yeah, the newer movies don't have the they're not gadget driven Roger more would have like some sort of like giant Coat that would turn into a steel cage to try Yeah, no, what would happen if it was Roger more like they'd be fighting and then Roger more but it would seem like he was beaten And he's like leaning over a box of crates and he's laughing and Jason's words like what's so funny and and James Bond is like Well, why we were fighting I stuck a thing to your neck and your head's going to explode. I think I think I actually think Jason born Would eventually win I think I think without him well the thing is I don't think it gets headin on I'm going with Daniel Craig.
I think that just if physically fighting Daniel Craig probably beat Jason born up But I think Jason born thinks two or three steps ahead of everyone That's how he would he would be he would only get into the fight so that Daniel Craig would beat him up Which would lead to Daniel Craig's demise in some fashion see that's I'm gonna go with them Chess and not checkers. I'm gonna go with Jason born in a hand-to-hand combat I'm gonna go Roger Moore his James Bond in Other Is not working for a government let's say James Bond was given a mission to take down Jason more like new Jason More was new what he was capable of You still and I just more isn't on a mission, but he also probably figures out that James Bond's coming for him I don't know I think James Bond would gain his trust at some point. I think he'd be like I'm willing to work with you old man Let's see that's not it was Chris Brosnan. No I'm thinking the George Lays and B James Bond would be the one Jason born like yeah, all right, okay?
Yeah Little bit, you know Jason born Jason I'm gonna go chase more It's closer and this is the final fight final fight This is the original Internet fight now There are a lot of didn't choose because there are superheroes in here I'm not you guys would know superheroes so I left them out for the most part, but this is one of the original Internet fights Okay, pirate versus ninja all the old pirate versus ninja argument ninjas got it. Yeah, yeah Pirates have gunpowder they have got an inches They're not even gonna see the ninch pirates are down from the It's a fight though Not a who could kill the other person because the pirate could just shoot a cannon ball They're not so blow it up thing about an engine though the ninja would be like looking in the eye and all of a sudden he would throw like Jack into their face stick to it like the ninjas nimble pirates aren't known for the nibble now I mean if they're big that's brought before this like we were talking about the Vikings versus the the samurai right? Yeah, it's a brute force I personally couldn't take the pirates on they they they defeat me But I'm not nimble and quick and ninjas are nibbling quick. They're sneaky that you get a star on your eye or they know they Capitate you with their sword.
Yeah, I don't know I like pirates pirates have better style The war energy and the winged which the fight starts because pirates have blunder buses. I have grenades Yeah, I think it gets anywhere near the ninja. I think here's the thing I think the fight completely unarmed too, so I'm sorry The fight starts with the ninja up in the crow's nest kills every one of them from the nose That's an area I'm saying show about a battlefield Yeah, obviously each other right opposite each other. I don't know I feel like we need to see this to really be able to make a yeah We know some pirates and some ninjas that we can just bring together and see what happens.
I'll make some calls Okay, we'll see if we get some ninjas and pirates together. I know some ninjas I don't I'm not particularly fond of them as people well For the most part of the six yeah, parts are too. Those are these ninjas are assassin so pirates are charming dicks No, usually here's a thing of parts of the Caribbean. Yeah, well pirate Are they fighting on the boat or are they fighting on the boat or are they fighting on my arm?
Are they fighting like because the thing is your peg legs gonna get stuck in the ground you're immobile and your blunder bus has to shoot in like 180 degrees? Yeah, one shot and then you have to reload that and that's it and by that point you've got all these stars And you shoot you shoot an engine and she's like oh I Perried it you can't parry guns. Yeah I'm looking at like a musket. I don't think it's close Yeah, but the one bus because of the wide or because the shrimp if they get hit by any of that Then just down I think I think even at 30 feet you shoot that blender bus ninja jumps up in the airlands behind you Stay up to the back of the net.
I think he's got in half. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know ninjas pretty awesome I think it's about how accurate a shot the pirate is I was an issue. I hate pirates.
Yeah, hey Not so much the Somalian pirates, but other ones. Yeah, you know, all right guys We would love to hear your thoughts. I can't all our fights obviously We got wrong because you disagree with us on all these right even when we disagree about who went you still somehow disagree with us Yeah, yeah, you're like neither option is right dick it Wow, okay, wow starts tell us your favorite your favorite part of the Christmas holidays. We told you our Christmas holiday thing that I'm sure it's the song yeah, yeah, it's a good song Tell us your thoughts on the fights if you agree disagree give us any of those if there were other fights you'd like to pose for us We could take an examination.
He's a point. We didn't touch on Donkey Kong versus anybody And that's that's a fight that I was I like I like to leave our listeners with this fight scenario in their head and they can get back to us And we're not gonna answer this question as we're leaving. Okay Santa Claus versus Peter or a rabbit What's the rabbit rabbit? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no The Easter rabbit the Easter Bunny Easter Bunny.
Oh, no, I'm sorry with the Easter rabbit the Easter Bunny where it's like picking out that one guy I'm like Easter Bunny starting fights. Yes, crampus with all of it. So it's Santa Claus versus Easter Bunny. We're not gonna give our answer I'm sorry.
Oh, I'm sorry. There's a Money beat the shut out of people in its entertainment. Oh, it shows you yeah, that's the final word That's and the definitive word and therefore we say to you until next time Stay wild. Stay wild Merry Christmas