Think Thirsty - Episode 3, What to Say When Someone Tells You "This Happened To Me"

Today, I chat through best practices for how respond when a survivor discloses an experience of sexual or intimate partner violence — and how those reactions can shape mental health outcomes. Drawing on decades of research (Ullman, Ahrens, Filipas, O’Callaghan, and more - see citations in show notes), I break down the difference between positive, negative, and unintended-harm responses, and why some reactions help survivors heal while others quietly compound the trauma. If you’ve ever wanted a clear, compassionate, science-based roadmap for showing up when someone trusts you with their story, this is the episode.This podcast is created and recorded by me, Katherine Wela Bogen, in my personal capacity as a private citizen and writer. It is unaffiliated with, and does not represent, any academic, clinical, or research institution. Think Thirsty is for educational and entertainment purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for professional psychological advice, diagnosis, or therapy.Recommended reading:Ahrens, C. E., Campbell, R., Ternier-Thames, N. K., Wasco, S. M., & Sefl, T. (2007). Deciding whom to tell: Expectations and outcomes of rape survivors' first disclosures. Psychology of women quarterly, 31(1), 38-49.Ahrens, C. E., Stansell, J., & Jennings, A. (2010). To tell or not to tell: The impact of disclosure on sexual assault survivors' recovery. Violence and victims, 25(5), 631-648.Filipas, H. H., & Ullman, S. E. (2001). Social reactions to sexual assault victims from various support sources. Violence & Victims, 16(6).O’Callaghan, E., Lorenz, K., Ullman, S. E., & Kirkner, A. (2021). A dyadic study of impacts of sexual assault disclosure on survivors’ informal support relationships. Journal of interpersonal violence, 36(9-10), NP5033-NP5059.Relyea, M., & Ullman, S. E. (2015). Unsupported or turned against: Understanding how two types of negative social reactions to sexual assault relate to postassault outcomes. Psychology of women quarterly, 39(1), 37-52.Ullman, S. E. (2000). Psychometric characteristics of the Social Reactions Questionnaire: A measure of reactions to sexual assault victims. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 24(3), 257-271.