Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today. My husband lost his job three years ago, and I had an accident, so we started at $10,000 a month. We are down to $2,400 a month.
I have sold everything. I own nothing. I don't need to own a car anymore. We live in a house my husband farms now with his dad.
And his dad's like 83 years old, and so he feels like 24 is, wow, that's a lot of money, you know. And we are very thankful for that. Don't get me wrong. We are so thankful for what God has given us.
And we have a house that we live in because John Farms Brown, we get it free. So God is definitely providing. However, I'm out of savings. I'm out of money completely.
I'm barely making my bills. I had an accident. It was an accident three years ago. I've had eight surgeries.
Oh, my. Like an automobile accident? No, I don't want to go there. We'll just travel there.
But I don't know what to do. I can barely make my bills. I don't know. Like, they want me to.
What bills do you have? Utilities, Internet for school. How many children do you have? Water.
Okay, one. What age? Eleven. Okay, all right.
And I'm home school. What was your husband doing before he lost his job? He was working for a power company. He was making really good money.
What's really good money? Well, we were bringing home ten grand. He was? No, he was bringing, like, six.
Okay, and you were making four. And you're unable to work now because of the accident? And I don't even have a car to even make it to work. No, that wasn't what I was asking.
Are you physically unable to work because of the accident? No. But I did previously, yes, because my body, I don't have a grip in my hands no more. My leg, my whole right side, basically, has tried to reconfigure it or fix it.
And it's, yeah, it's, I mean, I can walk. If your husband can make $6,000 a month at the power company before, why could he not do something like that again? That's three times more than he's making now. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Before he went to the power company, he farmed. And then he went into the power company. Well, he didn't ever want to go into the power company, but his ex-wife made him, I guess, or she wanted more money. I don't think she's evil.
You're calling me with the same request. Right, right. So he wants to farm. He's always wanted to farm.
And it's his daddy's farm. It's the daddy connection. There's a couple things going on here. Does your husband think that your father-in-law should be paying him more, or is he hunky-dory with what he's getting paid?
Well, he's not going to go to his dad and ask him more. I had to write a letter to his dad and point it all out. And then he gave him a little bit of a raise, but... Yeah, your husband needs to step up right now and step up in a big way.
Right? Yeah, so here's the thing. The language you're using tells us that. Yep.
I can't make my bills, which means your husband is not involved in this at all, which is wrong. Okay, so you need to sit down with him tonight at the kitchen table and say, I cannot be the only adult in this house anymore. I need some help. Bubba, you're about to help me.
You don't have an option. You're going to help me figure this out because I can't make this math work. And you don't want to do anything about the income side of the equation, so you show me where the magic's going to happen because I can't figure this out. I'm not carrying the stress and pain of this anymore all by myself while you go out there and play farmer and act like everything's okay because it ain't okay, Bubba.
You need to have that talk tonight with the television off and the kid in the bed. This is very serious because this is not going to last. This is how he got an ex-wife the last time. Is he did not attend to the needs of his household.
Well, I don't know about that. I do. I've been talking to you for five minutes and I believe it. That's exactly right.
He's not a bad man. He's just absent emotionally and financially. He works hard during the day, comes home and does nothing at night. I agree with that.
Okay. He's a good, hard-working man. He's an honest man. Yes.
But he does not understand. Tonight is going to be the explaining. You've got to use a verbal two before and hit him in the face. This is stopping tonight, Bubba.
I'm done. I can't do this anymore. The surgeries and the stress of the finances, being the only person in this household making adult decisions, is over. You're going to have to sit down with these numbers with me and decide with me.
I've already given him that. I've given him. I took my name. No, you didn't.
Yes, I did. No, you did. I don't believe you. Yes, I did.
Well, I did. I took it off my bank account. I did not. I told him I wanted no more to do with the bills because mentally I cannot handle it.
What was his response? I'm the one to pick up the mail. What was his response? What?
I'm going to choose to believe you. Dave doesn't. I'm going to believe you for the moment. What was his response when you laid it out that way?
He was upset, but he asked me, well, how do I pay this bill online? Well, I went and I showed him, and I said, but, you know, it's this amount. That's not what I'm talking about. He's talking about money.
You've got to make more money. I'm talking about the two of you sitting down and adding up what is coming in every month and what's going on every month and both of you looking at it. Just get a yellow pad out and write it all down. Here's what it costs.
Last night we did with a friend. With him? With him. Your husband?
With him, yes. And what did he say then? Well, we have like $5 left over, so he's just not. He's detached from reality.
That's the bottom line. Dave nailed it. This is a guy who's playing farmer, and it's a fun role for him. Yes, he's working hard, but I'll say you've got to work, too.
You said earlier that you felt like you could still do something. It's time for you to do something, too. You can't do what you did before, but maybe you're going to have to model the way, and I'll be honest with you, sister. I'm not sure that your relationship's got a lot of hope if he doesn't wake up to this.
I really, I'm serious. You've got to get self-sufficient. I think the two of you need to sit down and get some help with your marriage where you start working together, because you're not. And it's like, I'm going to make him do this.
No, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about we need to agree that we're going to carry the weight of this together. Last night, we sat down and went through all this together. The next day, you call me on the radio crying.
So last night didn't do any good. So you didn't get there yet. You've got more work to do. So the two of you have to sit down together, lay out a game plan, and then there's a wake-up call that says, I'm going to have to get a job.
You're going to have to get a different job. You're going to talk to your daddy about a raise because this is not going to work anymore. These numbers don't add up, and it's freaking me out, and I'm not going to live my life in terror. And I'm not going to take responsibility for something that you won't participate in.
We're going to do this together, two grown adults. I'm not your mama. I'm your wife. And, you know, so that's what's going on.
So you don't need to write a letter to his father. You live in his house. Walk yourself up in the living room and go, hey, me and the kid over here, we're hungry. I can't pay the bill because you don't pay your son nothing because you're living in 1950 on your wage rates.
And so we've got to do some change in here, pops, or we're going back to the power company like the last wife did. This is how this works. Create your free every dollar budget today, the simplest way to budget for your life.