Trauma-Informed Writing Transforms You and Your Words, with Michelle Stiffler

Today we’re exploring a topic that every writer is going to want to tune in and learn about: a trauma-informed approach to writing. To speak to that, I’ve invited Michelle Stiffler on the show to help us see how trauma-informed writing can transform both us and our words. This is one of the longest interviews I’ve published, but I believe it’s one of the most important. Let’s get right to it. Michelle Stiffler Michelle Stiffler is a certified trauma specialist, trauma-informed trainer, and co-host of Arizona’s Trauma-Informed Faith Community podcast. Eight years of nonprofit work shaped her trauma understanding, and during this time she created the trauma-informed culture and processes for Arizona’s first trauma-informed faith-based organization. Michelle is a married mother of four, plus two sons in law and a proud Mimi. She’s on the board of the Redbud Writers Guild, and her work has been published with Fathom, (in)courage, Guideposts and others, as well as the Women’s Devotional Bible in The Message, Michelle writes at OneMoreTruth.com. Enjoy the interview in video format, audio, or read a lightly edited transcript below: https://youtu.be/xC1qZEMMbdw Transcript [00:01:17.520] – Ann Kroeker On this topic of trauma-informed writing, and being a trauma-informed writer, should we be offering a trigger warning for anybody who’s tuning in? A Safe Conversation [00:01:28.000] – Michelle Stiffler I always like to offer a trigger warning simply because the word trauma itself, even if it’s paired with the word informed, sometimes just the word trauma can do something inside our bodies where we kind of tighten. We start to think about what trauma might be. So I would just give that warning so that people can kind of come into this podcast episode comfortably. We’re not going to dive into anything deep or heavy. We don’t want to burden anybody today, but it just kind of gives you a sense, like, check in with yourself. If you’re tight, if you’re thinking about things that are uncomfortable, just be free. It’s going to be a safe conversation. [00:02:07.050] – Ann Kroeker I love that invitation, your sensitivity and your empathy. Thank you for helping them feel comfortable. I understand that there’s this increasing awareness of trauma-informed anything and everything, and at the same time, I’m not that personally informed myself. So I’m probably going to ask you some really basic questions, Michelle. And I’m thinking about my audience, too. There may be people who are deeply involved in this whole movement or idea, but if a writer is hearing about this for the first time, can you define what is trauma-informed writing and what is a trauma-informed writer? Define what is trauma-informed writing and what is a trauma-informed writer [00:02:46.890] – Michelle Stiffler For our purposes today, trauma-informed writing is defining an approach for writing. When I come to my computer or when I come to the page and I intend on making my writing public, I’m coming with the lens that reminds me that trauma is very prevalent and that people broadly have experienced all kinds of adversity. It could be little “t” trauma. It could be big “T” trauma. And I want to come to the keyboard thinking about how I can best serve people if they’re going through something hard or if they haven’t yet resolved something hard. I don’t want to burden anybody with too many details, and I want to be able to provide even just one step further in healing or in some sense of wholeness. That’s what trauma-informed writing would be. A trauma-informed writer is basically saying that they live by the principles that the trauma-informed movement has in place. There are six of them. Those principles are: Safety Trustworthiness & transparency Peer support Collaboration & mutuality Empowerment, voice, & choice Cultural, historical & gender issues As a person, I want to be a safe person and we can get into this a little bit further later. I want to be somebody who’s trustworthy and transparent. I think transparent is sometimes an ambiguous word in the sense that we think vulnerability means. [00:04:06.590] – Michelle Stiffler I just share all my details. Transparency is just letting people know where things might go and it’s like, “Hey, you can trust me.” Like we said in the beginning, “I’m not going to burden you with too many details.” There’s a sense of support from that writer. There’s a collaboration and mutuality that looks a little bit different when it comes to writing because writing is so solitary. I may not ever meet the people who read my writing, but I do want to come to the keyboard with a sense of, “Hey, we’re all humans. We all understand the human condition from our own experience. And I’m with you in that.” There’s a sense of camaraderie, there’s empowerment. We always want to empower our readers to feel like they know what to do next. Not coming at them as if like, “Oh, you poor soul, you don’t know anything,” or “You’ve experienced this terrible tragedy.” It’s more like, “Let’s look at the strengths in this.” And then also—and this one was recently added by the CDC in the past couple of years—but coming in our writing with a sense of sensitivity for different cultures, historical trauma, gender issues. Just being aware of how we use our words and our language so that it doesn’t feel exclusive or hateful. There’s always a sense of compassion for people of all walks of life. [00:05:27.480] – Ann Kroeker This sounds vitally important for every writer because it sounds like, from what I’m hearing, all of this is focused on the reader and the effect on the reader, which I was kind of imagining. It was more about the writer and the writer’s trauma. Can you distinguish? Is it all about the reader and how they’re receiving our words? To be trauma-informed, you don’t have to be someone who has experienced trauma? Michelle Stiffler The trauma-informed is speaking to how we are addressing the reader and empowering the reader and all those eight incredible pillars of this principles. [00:06:09.830] – Michelle Stiffler I think writing about trauma is very different from anything that we could call trauma-informed. A lot of us have become writers because we experienced something that was difficult or we had to wrestle with something that, even if it’s parenting, it was like, “Oh my goodness, this is challenging. And I think I need to figure out how to process some of these things that I’m going through.” So we can certainly write about trauma, and that may have nothing to do with being trauma-informed. If I’m a trauma-informed writer writing about my own trauma, then I am coming with those six principles and I am being more careful about the details that I share. So it’s not what I’m writing about necessarily, it’s how I’m writing about it, which I think is necessary for all writers, regardless of the topic, we always want to know how we’re writing about it. And I think there are two parts. If I am thinking about my reader because I’m a trauma-informed writer, then there’s a lot of dealing with myself that I have to do before I ever come to write a single word. Or rather, there’s a lot I have to do before I ever publish a single word, before I ever hit that submit button. [00:07:20.430] – Michelle Stiffler The work is always going to be inward so that what we offer people outwardly is helpful and beneficial. There’s a lot of personal work, so they kind of go together. We are thinking about the reader, but the only reason we’re able to is because we’ve also dealt with some of our own things. That’s not to say it’s tidy, finished, completely resolved. We’re never going to get there. So we can get past that idea of perfect, but it means that we’ve at least put in some of the work to make sure that we’re coming from a place of fullness. I think even at some of the most empty times in my life, there’s still a way to go about living with a kind of fullness that people can understand. Even if you’re still in the middle of it, even if it still feels dark, even if you’re waiting on that clarity about what to do next, we can still live from that place of fullness. [00:08:15.370] – Ann Kroeker Just to kind of drive this home or make it super clear, what I’m hearing is basically every writer will want to become a trauma-informed writer because of the principles that are going to open us up to using language in a way that respects the reader and addresses these principles. But at the same time, there may be some people, some writers, who are tuning in today, and they are someone who does directly also write from and possibly about their own personal trauma with a capital T or small t. Am I hearing you right? [00:08:54.960] – Michelle Stiffler Yes. And before you would ever come into any kind of writing and want to say, “I’m a trauma-informed writer,” I would advise anybody to really think about what that means for you. Give it a year of really living that way. Set up some disciplines for yourself so that you are coming into your writing from a place of your own fullness sense of healing. Like you’ve worked through the content of your life enough to share it. I would say it’s not something like, “Oh, I listened to the podcast. Now I’m a trauma-informed writer because I understand it.” It’s an investment in a lifestyle. Anybody involved in the trauma-informed movement has committed to a lifestyle of caring for themselves so that they can be compassionate towards others. So, yeah, write about your trauma. B...